Feather in the Wind: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Madeline Kennet

  He arrived later that day and soon won her over with compliments of the girls and hints of his intentions toward one of them. Jane was at first the favourite and he spoke enthusiastically of her beauty and gentle manners, but before he could declare his choice to the eager mother, she mentioned something which persuaded him to reconsider his selection.

  She spoke of Jane’s recent illness, which was now described as having been very severe indeed. Illness was a subject to which Mrs. Bennet was partial, and on this occasion, she outdid herself in describing the sufferings of her daughter and the danger in which she had been.

  This would have aroused the sympathy of many gentlemen, but it had quite the opposite effect on Mr. Collins. He happened to have recently felt a great deal of sympathy for a parishioner whose wife was too sickly to undertake her duties. He had observed firsthand the disarray of the household and the discomfort of the unfortunate man. In consequence, he had no wish to marry a lady who was of a sickly disposition.

  He looked speculatively at Elizabeth. She was pretty and appeared to be in fine health with excellent colour. It seemed to be an excellent second choice, but in another moment, he heard that she had also been extremely ill and in grave danger. He looked again at those red cheeks and feared that they were the mark of a feverish tendency rather than blooming health. She would not do either.

  Sickly Ladies

  When Elizabeth left her room in the morning, she heard her name whispered and turned to see Lydia beckoning from the doorway of her own room. She went to find out what her sister wanted and found herself being hastily pulled into the room. The door was quickly closed.

  Kitty was there as well, sitting upon Lydia’s bed.

  “You must bring us up something to eat,” Lydia said. “And tell everybody that we have fallen ill.”

  “Are you ill?”

  “No, but we want Mr. Collins to think that we are.”

  “He is a tedious person, but you might want to reconsider going this far in your attempt to avoid him. You cannot want to be stuck upstairs for days.”

  “Did you not observe him when he was talking to Mama yesterday?” Kitty said.

  “I did not pay much attention. I believe I was talking to Jane at the time.”

  “He is a very obvious sort of person in both his speech and his facial expressions. I am certain that he had the idea of marrying Jane until he heard that she had been ill. Then he looked at you, but he turned away as soon as he heard of your illness as well. I think he does not want to marry a sickly wife, so Lydia and I are pretending to be ill so that he will not think of marrying one of us either.”

  Elizabeth started to laugh.

  “It is not funny, Lizzy,” Lydia said indignantly. “Imagine how dreadful it would be to find oneself married to Mr. Collins.”

  “You could always turn him down.”

  “Mama would not let us. And even if we could, it would be horrifying enough just to be proposed to by him.”

  Elizabeth was in agreement with this opinion. “You are right,” she said. “It is not funny. I will bring you something to eat as soon as I can.”

  “Do hurry. We are absolutely starving.”

  “And tell Mr. Collins that we are frequently ill.”

  Elizabeth went down to breakfast and announced that both Kitty and Lydia were feeling unwell. She did not find it easy to keep up a serious expression after seeing the horrified one on Mr. Collins’s face.

  “My poor girls,” Mrs. Bennet cried. “I should have known this would happen. Kitty has lately been coughing so frequently, and Lydia has not quite seemed her usual self either.”

  She could not have said anything more to the advantage of her daughters. On hearing this information, Mr. Collins looked quite disgusted. Kitty and Lydia had undoubtedly achieved their aim of keeping themselves safe from his attentions, and Elizabeth thought this a satisfactory result. It was impossible to imagine that either of them would suit him, and he was certainly not the sort of man to make them happy. As they had pointed out, their mother very likely would press them to accept any proposal, even from such a man as Mr. Collins, who was apparently no judge of what might constitute his own happiness, so she could acknowledge that their subterfuge was in everybody’s best interest.

  It was her father who needed saving next. Elizabeth perceived his dismay when Mr. Collins followed him to the library after breakfast. Since she already knew herself to be safe, she had no hesitation in forming a plan which required some personal sacrifice. She and Jane would walk into Meryton and take Mr. Collins to see the town and meet their aunt Phillips.

  First, she kept her promise to Kitty and Lydia and took them a generous quantity of food, which she was careful to conceal from her mother’s notice. It would not do for Mrs. Bennet to learn of the deception. Fortunately, she was disinclined to spend any time with those who were ill and could be counted on to stay out of the supposed sickroom. She readily accepted Elizabeth’s assurances that the pair were not very ill and were comfortably settled and not in need of anything. The two invalids had been advised that it would be prudent to talk in lower voices and try not to laugh too much.

  With this settled, the trio set off on their walk, relieving Mr. Bennet of his burden and the entire household of Mr. Collins’s presence.

  Dragging and Drooping

  “Take care not to look too healthy, or Mr. Collins might change his mind again,” Elizabeth advised her sister, to whom she had related Kitty’s observations and interpretations of his behaviour. “You might try to walk as though you find the exercise very tiring.”

  Jane, who was by now very much in love with Mr. Bingley and in high hopes that he shared her affections, followed her sister’s instructions diligently. She walked slowly, complained several times of being tired, even though it was not at all in her nature, and even pretended to stumble once. It was such a good performance that Elizabeth was momentarily concerned her sister really had tripped over something, but a smile from Jane set her mind at ease.

  Mr. Collins ignored all of this, which did nothing to improve Elizabeth’s opinion of him. During the course of the previous evening, she had concluded that he was selfish and self-seeking. It appeared to her that his mind was ill-formed, his character weak, and his temperament unsteady. She would have been surprised at his choice of the church for his career, except that she guessed he had been little suited for anything else and thought that it would be easiest to support himself as a parson. He had been very lucky to have found the noble patroness about whom they had heard so much at dinner, and that good fortune had gone to his head, as though it had been secured by his own remarkable abilities, which Elizabeth very much doubted.

  By the time they reached Meryton, Jane had mastered the dragging of her feet and the drooping of her head. Elizabeth, thinking it prudent to observe her own advice, was walking in a similar fashion, so neither of them saw the approach of Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley, who were riding down the street toward them.

  “My dear Miss Bennet,” Mr. Bingley cried, “you look absolutely exhausted.”

  They both looked up to see him leaping off his horse. He handed the reins to Mr. Darcy, who also dismounted, and rushed to offered Jane his arm.

  She took it gratefully, but with a blush of contrition for inadvertently deceiving him as well.

  “I am quite all right,” she assured him, but it was impossible to do undo the impression which had already been given.

  “You are completely done in,” he said. “Is there anywhere that we can take you to rest.”

  “We were intending to visit our aunt, who does not live far from here.”

  “Then I shall walk you there. As soon as you are comfortably settled, I shall ride to Netherfield and arrange for my carriage to convey you home. You cannot possibly manage the walk home in this state.”

  Jane protested that there was no need for such generosity, but he protested just as firmly that there was every need. Mr. Darcy settled the matter, after a look at Elizabe
th, which persuaded him that she was not so tired as he had initially thought.

  “I will go and arrange for the carriage,” he said. “It will be simpler if I go while you assist the ladies.”

  “So it will,” Mr. Bingley agreed, and the matter was settled, which only made Jane blush more deeply, but she accepted that they were determined to be of assistance, and the only possible course of action was to graciously accept.

  Mr. Darcy went off at once, and Mr. Bingley was introduced to Mr. Collins, whom he eyed with some disfavour. They proceeded down the street to their destination. When they arrived, Mrs. Phillips immediately began babbling to her nieces about a gentleman whom she had seen walking with the officers. It took a moment before she noticed the two gentlemen who had accompanied them. An introduction was then made, but she was too pleased by the honour of welcoming Mr. Bingley into her home to give much of her attention to Mr. Collins. This lack of notice did not please him at all and now he looked at his rival with disfavour.

  Mr. Bingley attended Jane to a chair in front of their hostess’s reasonably adequate fire, and sat beside her while Elizabeth took pity on Mr. Collins and recommended him to Mrs. Phillips’s attention. He was mollified by the interest which she now took in hearing of his circumstances, which he took the opportunity to relate in great detail.

  Elizabeth left them to this conversation, which was providing entertainment enough for both, and went over to the window, hopeful of seeing Mr. Darcy return even as she knew it was too early to be expecting him. She did, however, see the officers with an unknown gentleman, whom she took to be the one her aunt had mentioned.

  Any other time, the appearance of a handsome stranger might have aroused her curiosity, but now she only looked beyond this group, surveying the furthest part of the street that could be seen from the window, waiting for the first sight of Mr. Darcy.

  Only a little more time went by before she was rewarded with a view of him, sitting on his horse with excellent carriage, and in her opinion, looking much more handsome than a stranger she had briefly glimpsed and barely regarded.

  He came inside and this great honour drew Mrs. Phillips away from Mr. Collins. He looked petulant for a moment, but then he heard the gentleman’s name and began to address him without waiting for an introduction.

  “Might you be the same Mr. Darcy who is the nephew of Lady Catherine de Bourgh?” he cried.

  Elizabeth heard this outburst with mortification. He need only have waited another minute for an introduction, but Mr. Collins appeared to think himself above such formalities. Mr. Darcy looked surprised, but acknowledged that this was indeed the case.

  “Then you will be pleased to hear my assurances that her ladyship was quite well yesterday sennight.”

  “I take it that you are acquainted with my aunt.”

  “I have the great honour of holding the living of Hunsford.” Elizabeth prayed that he would say no more, but he then devoted several minutes to singing Lady Catherine praises for her nephew’s benefit.

  Mr. Bingley turned and stared in astonishment. Mr. Darcy bore all of this admirably and at its conclusion, he said in a polite tone that his aunt’s choice of parson was evidence of her discernment. Mr. Collins looked very pleased with this compliment, but Elizabeth wondered if it had been meant at face value. She thought she had seen a mischievous look in Mr. Darcy’s eyes, rather like the one he had given her when she had remarked upon his handwriting.

  The carriage arrived soon after this exchange, and as her guests took their leave, Mrs. Phillips invited her nieces and Mr. Collins to an evening party on the following day. She would have liked to invite the other gentleman as well, but dared not aim that high in her social aspirations, which gave Elizabeth much relief.

  She and Jane were helped into the carriage and repeated their thanks to Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley. Just before the door was closed, she saw the realization on Mr. Collins’s face that he was destined to walk back alone.

  When Mr. Collins returned to Longbourn, sometime after Jane and Elizabeth, he was eager to speak to them of Mr. Darcy, oblivious to the fact that their acquaintance with the gentlemen preceded his own. Everything which he could recall Lady Catherine having said about her nephew was now repeated for their benefit, including the fact that her daughter, Miss Anne de Bourgh, was engaged to be married to Mr. Darcy.

  Elizabeth heard this with shock and dismay. Surely this could not be possible. She did not think she had misunderstood his feelings and the hints which he had dropped to her. Yet Mr. Collins spoke of it with certainty and said that Lady Catherine had often spoken of the event. It was hard to believe that he could be mistaken. Mr. Darcy had appeared to like her very well, but if he was already bound to another, she had nothing to hope for. She ended the day feeling cast down by this turn of events.

  Jane, on the other hand, was delighted by the attentions Mr. Bingley had paid to her and the evidence of his concern for her well-being. Elizabeth agreed that this boded well for the future and made a great effort to model her own spirits after her sister’s, so that Jane’s good mood need not be spoiled by her own discouraged one.

  Cards and Slander

  When Kitty and Lydia heard about the evening party at their aunt’s home, they were disappointed by the prospect of being compelled to miss it because of their pretence of being ill, but when they also heard that a number of officers would be in attendance, they made a sudden, swift recovery.

  “We could always have a relapse tomorrow if necessary,” Lydia said to Elizabeth, who smiled. While she was not completely certain about the propriety of assisting their deception, it had brought them together, which she had very much appreciated since they were not often in agreement as they currently were on the subject of Mr. Collins.

  Their eagerness to spend time with the officers was as concerning as ever, but Elizabeth did not try to dissuade them from this plan. One evening would make little difference, and missing it would only make them fractious.

  They came down for breakfast in the morning, toyed with their food for the sake of appearances, and afterwards disappeared for a time, during which Elizabeth suspected they were making up for the smallness of the meal. For the rest of the morning, Mr. Collins paid little attention to them, so they felt safe enough to eat dinner with hearty appetites.

  “In fact,” Lydia said to Elizabeth afterwards, “I am sure that Mr. Collins does not want a wife who would be expensive to feed.”

  She and Kitty were in high spirits, and they giggled when Mrs. Phillips said that they did not look any the worse for having been ill. While they were waiting for their uncle and the officers, their aunt informed them that the gentleman whom she had observed yesterday had come to join the regiment and was at this very moment sitting in her dining room and drinking port with the others.

  This was the first that Kitty and Lydia had heard of such a gentleman, and they tasked Jane and Lizzy with having neglected to tell them this interesting piece of news.

  “There really was not much to tell,” Elizabeth said. “We only saw him in the distance and do not know any more of him than the information which our aunt has just given.”

  The gentleman appeared in a moment and she could tell that her younger sisters thought him very fine indeed. His name was Mr. Wickham and his manners were very pleasing. When they sat down to cards and he took a seat beside Elizabeth’s, she at first anticipated finding him agreeable company, but it did not take long for her to change her mind.

  He talked a little of Meryton and then mentioned that he had been surprised yesterday to see a person whom he knew.

  “I presume that you must be acquainted with him if he is staying in the neighbourhood.”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “I wonder if he is generally well-liked?”

  It was an odd question, but Elizabeth supposed him to be an intimate acquaintance of Mr. Darcy, who understood his tendency to make a poor impression, and was concerned with how he had been received in Meryton.

 
“I guess that you must know him very well,” she said.

  “Oh yes, very well indeed.”

  “Then you will understand what I mean when I say that he has not been especially well-liked.”

  “I certainly do. You mean to say that everybody here has had the sense to recognize what a cold, disagreeable sort of person he is. He too often gets away with pride and arrogance, but I see that this is a society of great discernment.”

  “I mean nothing of the sort,” Elizabeth cried. “I thought that you were referring to the reticence to which he himself admits. I believed you to be a friend of his, but now I see that I was much mistaken. You claim to know him very well, but that must be impossible.”

  “I see that I was also mistaken.” He did not look so handsome now that he was sneering at her. “Now I understand that you are of those people who are blinded or frightened by Mr. Darcy’s high and imposing manners.”

  “I am not either, nor do I share your opinion of his manners. I believe that I have given you the wrong impression. Mr. Darcy may not be the most popular person, but he is the sort of man who improves upon acquaintance. Those people who did not like him initially, slowly come to think better of him. As for me, I have always liked him very well, and will not be persuaded otherwise. Nor do I wish to hear anything against him, so I must ask you to discontinue this subject.”

  To her amusement, the last word fell to Lydia, whose attention had been largely taken up by the game, but she caught one small part of this conversation, and contributed her opinion. “You are right, Lizzy. Mr. Darcy does improve upon acquaintance. I used to not like him, but now that I am more accustomed to his manner, I think him quite tolerable.”

  This candid observation seemed to persuade Mr. Wickham better than anything Elizabeth could say, and he did not say another word about Mr. Darcy.

  Double Delight

  The next morning brought Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley with a personal invitation for a ball at Netherfield on the following Tuesday. The honour of this attention was, in Elizabeth’s opinion, negated by their haste in departing, but her mother chose only to see the compliment of being invited in person instead of receiving a card.