Transparent

by Natalie Whipple

  “Wait,” Seth says. “Bea didn’t tell you we’re brothers?”

  “No.”

  He looks at Brady. “You didn’t tell her?”

  Brady holds up his hands. “I figured Trixy told her!”

  Seth sighs. “And Bea probably assumed you told her.” He glances at me, almost looking apologetic. “I thought you knew.”

  “It’s not a big deal,” I say, though it is. I didn’t realize movie night meant spending more time with Seth. Not exactly what I signed up for.

  “So now that you know us well enough to come to movie night, I figure it’s time to decide on a nickname for you.” Brady makes a tight U-turn and speeds down the quiet street. “‘Fiona’ is three whole syllables, after all.”

  I smile, searching for the seat belt as best I can without crossing personal boundaries. “Okay. What do you suggest?”

  His grin turns mischievous. “How about Fifi?”

  I’m glad he can’t see me cringe. I hate, hate, hate that nickname. There’s only one person who calls me that, and he does because he knows I hate it.

  “She’s not a poodle.” Seth holds out the belt for me. “Here, Fiona.”

  I take it, not at all surprised that Brady isn’t immune to Seth’s rudeness. Of course he’d be like that to his own brother.

  Brady pouts. “You don’t like Fifi?”

  I don’t want him to feel bad, so I nudge him playfully. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

  Seth scoffs. I glare at him, but he’s staring out the window, eyebrows pulled down, mouth pursed. He didn’t have to come if he’s going to sulk the whole time.

  “You know,” Brady says, “you don’t look like a Fifi anyway. I think we’ll just stick with Fi.”

  I laugh, hoping this is his way of flirting. “Sounds good.”

  “You’ll love Trixy’s family,” he says as we head to the other, older side of town. The houses here don’t look as uniform as in my neighborhood. There are real trees, with shade and everything. “We’ve been neighbors our whole lives.”

  “Wow.” I had no idea they had such a history. It feels like I’m intruding on something special and reminds me that I don’t know any of them that well. My heart beats against my ribcage. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

  “Are you nervous?” Seth asks.

  “What?” I realize I have my hand over my chest, giving me away. I put it back in my lap. “No. I’m fine.”

  Brady pats my knee. “Don’t worry. They’ll love you. Carlos maybe a little too much.”

  “Who?”

  “Oh, you’ll see. Carlos loves the ladies.” Brady laughs.

  Seth rolls his eyes. “She’s invisible. He’ll look right over her.”

  I bite my tongue. Maybe Seth has stopped treating me like an idiot, but he still finds plenty of ways to make me feel like crap. What can I say, though? He’s right. I hate that he’s right.

  Brady shakes his head. “I don’t know. I think you can tell Fiona’s pretty, invisible or not. Ten bucks he’ll be all over her.”

  My face warms. Brady actually noticed me. Not in an oh-she’s-invisible way, but in a there’s-something-underneath way. Maybe I’m not being crazy about him liking me. Maybe Seth decided to butt in and Brady couldn’t say no.

  “You’re on,” Seth says.

  I’m lost for the rest of the conversation, which involves names of people I don’t know and activities I had no clue they participated in. All I can gather is that Seth is on the soccer team with someone named Hector, who is trying to steal Seth’s spot as forward, whatever that is.

  Brady pulls into a cracked driveway in front of a modest, if not run-down, home. The paint probably used to be white, but now it’s a dusty gray color. The blue shutters are cracked; one’s even crooked. But for all its flaws, it has beautiful landscaping and a manicured lawn, almost as if someone’s trying to hide the condition of the house.

  “Home sweet home.” Brady unbuckles his seat belt and motions for me to follow him. “Trixy’s place is just over here.”

  “Okay.” I walk with Brady and Seth to a neighboring house. The yard, with its rock lawn and cacti, is nothing like theirs. The house itself screams Southwest, complete with peach stucco and round terracotta tiles on the roof. An array of saints stand guard on the porch, and a large cross hangs on the door. A large cross that is also a doorknocker.

  When Bea said her parents were devout Catholics, she wasn’t kidding.

  Brady ignores the knocker, walking into the house like he lives there. The place is messy, but not in a bad way, just in a five-kids-plus-parents kind of way. A pile of shoes partially blocks the hallway, stacks of paper cover the kitchen table, movies and game consoles litter the living room.

  We walk past it all in silence. A place like this should be loud, but it sounds like no one’s home. Brady stops at the back door, smiling. “You ready to meet the rest of the Navarros?”

  I gulp, my hands suddenly sweatier than they should be. It’s just Bea’s family—what’s the big deal? “Sure.”

  Brady opens the door, and I stifle a gasp. Maybe I’m not ready for this after all.

  Chapter 14

  The backyard is nothing like the rock front. A shaded patio stretches out across the back of the house, and past that lies a lawn almost the size of a soccer field, complete with goalie net. It’s beautiful, but that’s not the most breathtaking part.

  I used to laugh at those old pictures of families around the dinner table, out camping, or in the backyard grilling. It seemed so over the top, unrealistic. Families aren’t like that—most of them are messed up. Siblings fight. Parents say cruel things. Images like that were just as fantastical as dragons and unicorns. Maybe more.

  But now I’m not so sure, because Bea’s family looks like a moving version of one of those photos. Her mother, smiling and beautiful, sets plates around two picnic tables. Her father stands by a grill, spatula in hand, complete with chef’s apron. And there’s Bea, playing soccer with four black-haired boys. They’re laughing, and I can feel their love from here.

  I can’t go out there. I don’t belong in this perfect scene. A person like me is sure to ruin it. I back up, bumping into Seth.

  He doesn’t move out of my way. “I know Bea’s brothers are butt-ugly, but you don’t have to be scared.”

  Brady laughs. “They don’t bite.”

  “It’s not that.” I wring my hands as I look for a way out, but Seth blocks the narrow hall.

  He puts his hands on his hips. “Then what? Are they not good enough for you? I bet you’re used to gold plates and fancy chefs.”

  I search his eyes, trying to understand what his problem is. I know I’m a horrible person, but I haven’t done anything to him personally to deserve so much crap.

  “Seth, you’re being—” Brady starts.

  I hold up my hand. “I can handle this.” I take a deep breath. If telling him how rude he is hasn’t worked, I’ll have to try something new. “You know me so well, don’t you? I never eat anything unless it costs more than a hundred dollars. That’s why I request my Pop-Tarts dipped in caviar and wrapped in gold foil. And when I spent that time hiding in the desert, I had my masseuse fly in because I was so bored out there having my little-rich-girl tantrum.”

  He looks down, and I try to suppress my smile. Whether he respects me for it or not, I plan to put him in his place. I come in close, savoring his look of defeat. “Did you ever consider that maybe I don’t want to bring my shit to that happy family out there? Do you think I don’t know how much danger I’ve put them in just because they’ve shown me the smallest bit of kindness?”

  Brady’s heavy hand comes down on my shoulder. “Don’t worry about that, Fi. Seth doesn’t think you’re spoiled or whatever; he thinks—”

  “You just think I’m horrible,” Seth says.

  I roll my eyes. “I don’t.”

  “Liar.”

  Before I can answer a knock comes from behind. It’s a guy who isn’t even cl
ose to butt-ugly, with his gorgeous brown skin and strong features. He reminds me of a panther, almost, with the sharp angles of his face and his knowing eyes. “There you are! I could hear you all the way across the field. Maybe you forgot, but the party’s outside, guys.”

  “Hector.” Seth scoots past me, and Hector gives him one of those guy hugs with the back pat. “This is Fiona.”

  He glances at me, seeming completely unfazed. “I gathered as much. Bea’s out back.”

  I blink a few times as Hector and Seth head outside. I’m not sure what kind of reception I was expecting, but that certainly wasn’t it. A lot more gawking and questions were involved in my version.

  “Hector is Seth’s best friend, and he happens to have extra sensitive hearing,” Brady says.

  I nod. It’s not a particularly unique ability, but it’s useful all the same. My dad has a whole squad of them for spying purposes. Then it clicks. “Ah, so he was saving Seth from me.”

  Brady smiles. “Something like that. Probably more like saving Seth from saying more stupid stuff. Sometimes he spits out clever comebacks before he realizes the consequences, but he doesn’t mean it, Fiona. He doesn’t hate you at all. I promise.”

  I lean against the wall, not sure I want to go out there yet. “I guess that’s mildly comforting. Why is he like that? Did something happen to him?”

  As Brady rubs the back of his neck, his whole countenance changes, like I sucked the happiness right out of him. All that’s left is pain—the deep kind that rips you apart. “I don’t know. I guess everyone has different ways of dealing with crap, right? Let’s go find Trixy.”

  He’s out the door before I can get a word in, and I stay there a moment wondering if I should leave. This is already becoming complicated.

  “Chica! C’mon!” I look out to find Bea waving, her smile calling to me. It’s real, this genuine happiness I’ve never felt. So I step across the threshold and into the backyard.

  But as I walk through the cool grass toward her, an unexpected pang of frustration hits. “Why didn’t you tell me they were brothers?”

  She sighs. “Would you have come if I did?”

  “I …”

  “Exactly.” She hooks her arms with mine. “Seth’s always been a bit blunt, but you can’t judge the whole group on one bad apple, can you?”

  “I guess that’s—”

  “Well, well, is this fine thing Fiona?” A voice comes from behind. I turn to find a guy about my height and just as good-looking as Hector, except his eyes are yellow like a cat’s, complete with diamond pupils. “No wonder you kept her from me, Trixy.”

  Bea groans. “Make that two bad apples. This is Carlos.”

  “Bad is right, baby.” Carlos comes in closer, and I shudder. “It’s so nice to have a beautiful girl in the house for once.”

  Brady laughs. “Seth, you owe me ten bucks!”

  Bea punches Carlos. “Cut it out. This is exactly why you’ll never have a girlfriend.”

  Carlos grabs me around the waist. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Fiona and I look good together, don’t you think?” His arm slides down a little. “Wow, you’re toned, chica.”

  I grit my teeth. Usually I savor every touch I get, but there’s something I don’t like about his. “Please don’t make me kick you in the balls.”

  “Aww, don’t be li—” A soccer ball smacks Carlos right in the head, and he loosens his grip enough for me to get away.

  Hector, Seth, and Bea’s other brothers are practically rolling on the grass in a fit of laughter. Bea and Brady join in, and even I can’t keep the smile off my face. That was some good aim and seriously perfect timing.

  Carlos grabs the ball. “Okay, who ruined my moment?”

  Without a hint of apology, Seth raises his hand. “Keep your hands off her. She’s nervous enough without you mauling her.”

  Maybe I don’t mind his jerkiness as much when it’s used for my protection.

  “You’ll pay for that!” Carlos drop-kicks the ball at them, and then charges. They pile on him, wrestling in a brotherly display of affection.

  Bea sighs. “Boys.”

  “Yeah. We suck.” Brady smiles, which is when I realize he’s not over there with them. He can’t be—he’d smash them all to bits. I ache for him, knowing how much it sucks to be on the outside even among powerful people.

  “At least we’re in agreement.” Bea points out her other brothers, José and Antonio, who I’m told won’t answer if I call them that. It’s Joey and Tony, and they have a perfect sense of direction and the ability to “speak in tongues,” respectively. Very handy skills. They’re both in college, but they always drive home for the weekend family stuff. Then Bea introduces me to her parents, who seem too nice to be real.

  “You’d better eat four burgers,” her dad says. “You’re too thin; I can hardly see you.”

  “Alejandro, save your jokes. Start her out easy; tell her about your glory days in the National Soccer League instead.” Her mother, Rosa, turns to me. “He was one of the best in the Gifted Division.”

  So that’s how he paid off Juan.

  He nods. “Excellent idea.”

  And with that, her dad regales us with tales from his more athletic days. Apparently he made the National Gifted Team because of his extralight body tissue and resulting speed. The year before the Olympics, he took a cleat to the knee and hasn’t been able to run the same since. “That’s when we moved here, and I started working for John as his second-in-command.”

  “My dad,” Brady whispers to me. “Runs a construction company.”

  “Oh. He doesn’t come to these?”

  Brady’s Adam’s apple bobs. His hesitation tells me I’ve crossed into forbidden territory.

  “Okay, boys!” Bea’s dad waves the spatula. “Come and get your buns ready!”

  Bea hangs her head. “I forgot how embarrassing it is to bring people over here.”

  “Don’t be embarrassed; your family’s cool. Minus Carlos.” I leave out the part where I’d kill to have a family this close to normal. This happy.

  She laughs. “Don’t you want to spit on him?”

  “Fiona can spit on me as much as she wants.” Carlos sits next to me. “Anywhere she wants.”

  Almost everyone at the table smacks him across the head. His mother glares at him. “You are going to confession twice next week.”

  His shoulders slump. “Fine.”

  “You count those stupid comments up, Fiona,” Joey says through his food. I can tell he’s just what an older brother should be. “Give me the numbers each week, and I’ll make sure he pays for them.”

  “You say that as if you expect there will be a lot,” I say.

  “Because there will be,” Hector says. “Carlos practically has a degree in douchebaggery.”

  Carlos straightens proudly. “I could be a professor of douchebaggery. Fiona can be my teacher’s aid.”

  Tony, who hasn’t said a word, grabs Carlos’s exposed boxers and pulls. Carlos lets out a yelp, and everyone laughs save Bea’s mom, who shakes her head. “I’m so sorry, Fiona,” she says. “I tried to teach them manners.”

  I smile. “I have two brothers. Don’t worry about it.”

  “Then you’ll fit right in.” Bea’s dad smiles as he raises his glass to me. I raise mine to him, touched that he could be so kind and welcoming to someone like me.

  “Come sit over here, Fi, before Carlos gets sent to confession all week.” Brady scoots over, giving me just enough room between him and Seth. It’s scary that sitting by Seth is the better option, but being next to Brady makes up for it.

  After the first prayer of my life, we dig in. The burgers are amazing, mostly because Bea’s mom prepared a full spread of toppings. Everyone likes theirs differently. Carlos piles his with salsa, while Hector tops his with more bacon than patty. Seth adds a mound of pickles and peppers. Brady just puts cheese and ketchup on his.

  I opt for a BLT style for my first one, with ran
ch dressing. Then something more traditional for my second. Bea gets me to try my last one with a cheese called cotija. It’s salty and strong, almost like feta or goat cheese but not quite so soft. I wish I had room for more.

  After dinner, her parents disappear into the house, and the guys set up a projector and screen on the lawn. We spread out blankets while Joey and Hector fight over which movie to watch. Carlos tries to sit next to me again, but Brady picks him up and moves him. My heart jumps as he takes Carlos’s spot.

  He smiles, almost catching my eyes. “Having fun?”

  “Yeah. I really am.” I’m surprised how much truth there is in my words. Not much has happened, but maybe that’s why it’s so nice. For a while I forgot I don’t belong here.

  “Good.” Brady leans back on one arm, facing me. His face is serious, though the smile is still there. “It’s hard being on the outside, isn’t it?”

  I bite my lip. “Yeah, it is. I’m a freak among freaks.”

  “Even your friends are afraid of you.”

  I sigh. “You mean if you have any.”

  “Right.” He smiles wider, and I know he understands how I feel better than anyone else could. “I’ve been there. As a kid, I couldn’t control my power like I can now. My tantrums were more like war zones. I once threw a beanbag in kindergarten and it went straight through the wall and knocked out the teacher in the other room. Everyone has always been afraid that I’d snap them in half—everyone but Trixy.”

  Bea sits on my other side. “I sure put up with a lot of bruises, though, to earn his trust.”

  Brady winces. “It’s hard to believe that anyone could actually want you around.”

  I know he can’t read my mind, but sometimes it feels like it. “You guys have so much history. I wasn’t sure if I belonged here.”

  “Well, stop worrying,” Bea says. “You’re stuck with us.”

  Brady nudges me. “We need a new chapter anyway.”

  I smile, a wave of flutters rushing through me, and I force myself to watch the movie instead of Brady’s face.

  Chapter 15

  It’s warm, almost too hot with his arms around me from behind, but I don’t want to move. I want to stay right here forever, watching the sunrise. It glows pink and orange as it hits the spattered desert clouds. I lean into him, sighing at the beauty. I’ve never felt like this before, and yet I recognize it all the same.