Cowboy Pride

by Lacy Williams

But there was also a part of her that didn't want her family to find out about his past—or that Liza knew about it.

  Supper was full of lively conversation interspersed with Lydia showing off the thin silver band as often as she could.

  After supper, Liza and Janie washed up, content to listen as the women continued their chat. Wickham sat next to Papa in the corner, looking conspicuously out of place. Papa had a newspaper open and seemed to ignore everyone else.

  "And then Mr. Darcy—"

  Liza dropped the plate she'd been scrubbing into the water with a ploop. Hot water splashed on her dress, but she barely felt it.

  "Rob was there?" She turned. Her voice had been louder than she'd intended. Rob had been involved in the fiasco with Lydia?

  Lydia shot her a quelling look. "I know he insulted your pride before, but he's not a monster."

  If only she knew.

  "I promised I wouldn't tell but... he accidentally bumped into us at our hotel and said he wanted to talk to Wickham, and the next thing I knew, we were at the altar."

  Oh, Lydia. No doubt Rob had engineered the whole thing.

  Why, though? No matter how she turned the matter over in her head, she couldn't fathom a reason for Rob’s actions.

  Chapter 25

  Two days after Lydia and Wickham’s departure to their new home in Idaho, Janie stood before the tiny looking glass in her shared bedroom. Liza and Kitty had already gone, joining Mama and Papa at the shop downstairs. The Founders' Day town-wide picnic was upon them, and Janie wished she didn't have to go.

  With Lydia gone, it seemed quieter at home and around the shop. Janie felt... restless. Liza's change to the displays had brought in more foot traffic, and though the store was busier and more profitable, it felt as if there were something missing.

  Or maybe that was simply because Nathan was missing from her life.

  It shouldn't have mattered. Theirs had been a whirlwind courtship. Perhaps friendship was the better word. But she'd fallen for him deeply, and his absence was painful.

  Everyone in town would be at the picnic today.

  And everyone would see Nathan avoid her.

  Everything will be forgotten, she told herself.

  It had been over a month since she’d seen him last. With the time spent with Auntie M and then those couple days spent on Rob’s ranch, he should be out of her thoughts. Forgotten.

  He wasn’t.

  She missed him. Longed to see him again, though it would be painful after his silence on their train ride from Cottonwood Cove to Calvin.

  She’d spent enough time in front of the looking glass, adjusting the elaborate braid around the crown of her head, even weaving a ribbon into it. She forced herself to go downstairs. Join her family.

  Two steps out into the Wyoming wind, and all her primping was all for naught.

  She stifled a sigh as she followed the family down Main Street to the field behind the schoolhouse, where they joined the other townspeople in a display of colorful blankets, all spread out.

  Groups chatted in clusters. She shielded her eyes with one hand and scanned the area, loosing a sigh of relief when she didn't spot Nathan.

  It must be relief she felt, not disappointment.

  She waved hello to Merritt and Danna and Chas but was content to remain on the blanket with Liza while Mama and Kitty flitted around, chatting and giggling.

  And then a tall shadow fell over the picnic blanket.

  A roasted chicken balanced in both hands, Janie looked up, sure her mouth had fallen open slightly because there stood—

  "Mr. Bingley!" Mama cried. She and Kitty must've been close, because they now stood at the corner of the blanket.

  "How have you been?" Liza asked warmly when the silence went on for a beat too long.

  Janie felt heat slip up her neck and into her face. She looked down, curls from her ruined hairstyle slipping across her cheek in the brisk wind.

  Liza took the chicken from her shaking hands, and Janie hid them in the folds of her apron.

  Hussy. Seductress. Edna's names from the train platform echoed in her memories, and she so desperately wanted to run and hide. But there was no place to go.

  Nathan cleared his throat, but before he could say anything, Mama interrupted.

  "I'd heard you were out of town. I hope your trip went well? To St. Louis, I mean."

  Unbidden, Janie's gaze jumped to meet his. She would never forget being in Cottonwood Cove with him, cocooned in their own space for those precious hours.

  One corner of his mouth tipped as if he might be thinking about that time too. "It was unremarkable."

  "Now that you're back in town,” Mama said, “you simply must come for supper sometime. If you tell me your favorites, I'm sure Janie and I could make a meal you'd simply love."

  Janie's face flushed hotter. Why must Mama always behave like this?

  Red had crept into Nathan's cheeks as well. "Certainly. In fact, if you wouldn't mind terribly, I'd like to steal Janie away for a short—"

  "Girls! Oh, hello, Mr. Bingley." Wanda and Violet, two friends of Liza’s, stumbled onto the edge of their circle.

  "Janie and Liza, you promised to help with the planting for today. You can't back out now."

  Violet giggled. "Mr. Bingley, you can join us, if you'd like."

  She'd completely forgotten about the project she'd agreed to assist with. Several young women in town had formed the Calvin Beautification Committee, and one of this summer's projects included filling planters all along Main Street with seedlings.

  Janie stood, brushing away a wrinkle in her skirt. Her heart was pounding. Why did Nathan want to walk with her?

  And surely he'd leave now that she was committed to the ridiculous activity.

  But he didn't walk away. "I'd love to."

  Oh, why had she ever agreed to help with the project?

  As they passed through the crowd and walked back toward Main Street, Liza sent a wide-eyed look over her shoulder when Nathan couldn't see. Janie's stomach jumped like a whole passel of grasshoppers.

  Liza threaded her arms through the other two young women's elbows and ushered them onto the boardwalk first, leaving Janie to walk at Nathan's side.

  They reached the boardwalk, and he extended his hand to her.

  He was only being polite, she told herself. But it didn't stop her pulse from thundering in her temples.

  And then he didn't let go. He clasped her hand, allowing them to remain linked.

  "Hi, Mr. Bingley!" Schoolmarm Merritt Harding called out.

  He waved. With his other hand.

  Janie's face burned.

  Even when they joined the group in front of the general store, he didn't let go of her.

  Not until someone pushed a crate of seedlings toward them and he was forced to relinquish her hand to take it. She accepted a small trowel and watering can.

  They had to complete two planters and were assigned those in front of the Calvin Bank and Trust, which stood toward the far end of the dusty Main Street.

  Surely it couldn't take that long to weed out two containers and plant the flats of seedlings they'd been assigned.

  Then she could escape from Nathan's presence and go back to the picnic.

  * * *

  Nathan's heart pounded as Janie settled her skirts around her legs and kneeled on the dusty street.

  Rob's encouragement had gone a long way in convincing him that he wanted to ask Janie to marry him. Immediately. He didn't want to waste any more time without her by his side.

  But when he'd ridden into town, he'd seen the picnic being set up and remembered the town event. It had completely slipped his mind in his quest for Janie's hand.

  And then her mother. Her mother! He couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

  This was better, even if they were surrounded by chatting women. They were semi-alone, and all he had to do was pluck up the courage to say what he needed to say.

  Except she didn't look at him as she plunged
her fingers into the rich, brown dirt, plucking out several weeds with ruthless abandon and tossing them in the street. Was she angry that he'd all but abandoned her after she'd cared for him in Cottonwood Cove?

  Was she hurt?

  She had every right to feel both. He'd bungled things terribly. He could only hope they could be repaired.

  He wasn't good at this. Didn't know how to open the conversation.

  He swallowed hard. "How've you been? Rob told me about the train robbery. That must've been frightening."

  And if he could, he'd prevent anything like that from happening to her ever again.

  She winced slightly. He wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been watching her so closely.

  "I'm fine." She tossed another weed out to the side. She still didn't look at him, her focus on the planter.

  He took the trowel and used it to measure out a dozen spots for the seedlings. She glanced at him sideways.

  He dug the first hole as she reached into the crate for the first seedling. She cupped the dirt surround its roots in both hands and placed it in the small hole he'd made.

  He moved to capture her hand, but she jerked it back quickly.

  A glance at her face revealed nothing. Her eyes were focused down, her lashes hiding any glimpse of her emotion.

  Maybe she hadn't guessed his intention. Or maybe she was embarrassed because they were both covered with dirt.

  He cleared his throat and tried again. "I've had a letter from Mindy. She seems to have settled in all right. She's taken a job with a seamstress. I think she's hoping to meet someone..."

  And now he was rambling.

  Why wouldn't she give him some kind of sign? In Cottonwood Cove, he'd been certain she held some affection for him, until those moments on the train platform.

  Had he crushed the blossom of her affection forever?

  He stared at her, falling behind on his hole-digging duties as she planted the next two seedlings.

  And a flash of memory brought with it the look in her eyes on the platform. The heartbreaking hurt he'd been given only a glimpse of.

  He'd been a part of that, and he would make it right.

  He’d opened his mouth to blurt everything he felt when a shadow fell over them both.

  "Brought some muslin," Violet said. He’d met her at the barn-raising.

  Her arms were full of the stuff. Her grin encompassed them both, though Janie didn't look up to see it. "The Beautification Committee thought it would like nice draped across the planters."

  He shrugged helplessly but Janie nodded. Violet moved off and Janie stood up. For one wild moment, he thought she was leaving. She stepped a couple of feet away and settled in front of the second planter.

  While his mind had been spinning, Janie had finished planting the seedlings.

  Now she was tearing weeds out of the second planter with a vengeance.

  He didn't intend to hurt her more. Didn't want to leave things unfinished between them for a moment longer.

  He crouched at her side. "Could we go somewhere and talk?" It's what he'd wanted in the first place.

  She shook her head slightly. "I don't think that's a good idea."

  He glanced around them. Other folks were working on their own planters, and Wanda and Violet had wandered to the opposite end of the street. No one seemed to be paying them any attention.

  So he grabbed Janie's grubby hand in his.

  He'd thought she might jerk away, but she froze instead. Finally, finally, she lifted her gaze so he could see her beautiful face.

  "I've been a fool." He spoke the words in a low voice, but it didn't detract from his intensity. "I should never have let doubts fester, for you've been nothing but kindness and light in my world. Can you ever forgive me for my silence these past weeks?"

  Her eyes had gone round and now filled with tears, though she blinked rapidly.

  "I don't—"

  "I've been in love with you from the beginning. His heart thrummed, and he didn't want to hear her refusal. He rushed on. “Probably from the moment you coughed water all over my boots after nearly drowning in the creek. Maybe even from our first dance the night we met."

  One tear rolled down her cheek, and he reached for it without thinking, rubbing it away with his thumb. And since his hand was covered in dirt, he left a tiny streak of mud down her cheek.

  "Oh dear." He wrinkled his nose and reached into his pocket for his handkerchief, but of course it was streaked with dirt by the time he managed to free it.

  She laughed wetly and took it from his fingers anyway, wiping her face quickly.

  She wasn't looking away from him now. She was smiling, shining with joy from within.

  And his heart started pounding a hopeful rhythm.

  "It's the same for me," she whispered, looking up at him with a shy glance. "I fell for you when you carried me so carefully back to your house."

  He reached for her hand, and this time she met him halfway.

  "I can explain about... about Albert." Her eyes dropped, a flush spreading across her cheeks.

  He squeezed her hand. "You don't have to. Whatever lies he and his mother fabricated can't touch you now. I won't let them."

  Her gaze came up to meet his again, and they were filled with such hope—her hope gave him wings.

  "Would you consider marrying me, if I promised never to be such a fool again?"

  Her lips twitched. "Are you sure you could make such a promise?"

  "Probably not. I hope to always make a fool of myself over you."

  "I think I'd like that very much," she whispered.

  "Yeah?" Now his eyes were the ones that were filling with moisture.

  She nodded, biting her lower lip.

  Joy suffused him, filling up every crevice and crack in his heart. Janie loved him back. And she was going to marry him.

  "Soon?" he asked.

  "Soon," she promised.

  * * *

  Janie was radiant with joy even as the sun set and they settled in to the apartment.

  Even Mama's clucking and fluttering didn't seem to faze her, and Liza couldn't help but smile at her sister’s effervescent happiness.

  Janie would marry Nathan after Sunday services in two weeks. They'd begged off from the picnic and gone on a long walk, Janie wind-blown and well-kissed when they'd returned, judging by the roses in her cheeks.

  Now as Liza and Janie settled in for bed, Janie whispered plans for her dress, things she needed to add to her hope chest, and wishes for Liza to find the same happiness she had.

  Liza was unbearably happy for her sister, she truly was.

  But she couldn't contain the tug of jealousy that pulled at her.

  Janie had found her happiness.

  And Liza was still alone.

  After two weeks, the hope that she'd held onto—that Rob would write or even come for her—had begun to wither.

  All she could think of were the words he'd written in his letter. I will not repeat my proposal.

  Chapter 26

  "Charlotte!"

  Liza circled the counter to greet her friend as the woman slipped inside the store, baby in her arms.

  Through the window, she could see Mr. Collins and Papa on the boardwalk looking into the store window and gesticulating animatedly.

  "What are you doing here?" Liza asked as she embraced her friend. "And look at you!" She cooed to the baby.

  "I think William had a bit of cabin fever after playing my nursemaid those weeks. For days, he's been talking about nothing but visiting your father to check on the store."

  "How kind." But the bottom of Liza's stomach dropped away. Sales had increased since the changes she'd made. Noticeably. Would Mr. Collins make an offer? There’d been talk when he’d visited the first time.

  Would Papa take it?

  "I can't believe how big she's grown in such a short time." Liza touched the baby's pudgy hand with one finger.

  The door opened and Papa stuck his head through. "Liza, coul
d you join us? There'll be time for visiting later."

  Charlotte raised her brows and smiled, waving her hand to shoo Liza on.

  The men were staring at the line of children's boots Liza had carefully arranged across the front of the window display.

  "How did you come up with this idea?" Mr. Collins asked.

  Liza flushed. Was he angry that she'd duplicated what he'd done in his Sheridan store?

  "It's ingenious," Mr. Collins went on. "I've always used men's boots to entice people to come in off the street, but you probably get a steady stream of young mothers in, don't you?"

  She nodded.

  Papa's chest puffed out with pride. "And they usually leave with a belt or a bag for marbles, too."

  Mr. Collins gave her an appreciative look.

  "What are your numbers since Liza returned from Sheridan?" Mr. Collins asked.

  Papa looked to her, and Liza fidgeted. He raised one brow. "Don't act as if you don't have them memorized," he said.

  She told them, and Mr. Collins looked even more impressed.

  "I want to see the inside." Mr. Collins ducked through the door, where Charlotte pointed to something on the shelves above the counter.

  Papa put his arm around Liza’s shoulder as they watched from the boardwalk.

  "Will he make you an offer?" she asked quietly, heart in her throat.

  "I don't know."

  "If he does, will you take it?"

  Papa looked down on her. "Of all my girls, you've always had the best head for business." He tapped her on the nose. "But it isn't your worry."

  After the disaster with Lydia, Liza had realized just how fragile a reputation could be. Had it really been her fault that Janie had been shamed? Or Edna's for spreading rumors? And Albert's, for not standing up for Janie?

  She'd gathered all her courage and spoken to Papa, who'd been shocked to learn that she blamed herself for what had happened. He'd assured her that she was the only one who blamed her and that the responsibility for the family fell on his shoulders. Not hers.

  And although it had been hard to let go, she'd finally gained a measure of peace about the mess in Cottonwood Cove. It helped that Janie was deliriously happy with Nathan.