This wasn’t ending. This couldn’t be the end. Matthew covered her hand with his. “I don’t want this to be over. We just need to slow things down a little. I’m just not ready…”
Her clear blue eyes shone with a trace of what might be unshed tears. “I’m not ready either.” She pulled her hand away.
The food tasted like cardboard. When April’s cell phone rang it was a welcome distraction from the tension simmering in the air between them. She fished it out of her bag and glanced at the display. “Hi, Dad.”
Matthew rubbed the back of his neck. Irritated she still hadn’t confessed to her family they were together.
“No, I’m just out having dinner with a friend.” She shot him a glance.
The man on the other end of the phone was doing all the talking. She responded with terse yes and no’s for a while. Then finished with, “I’ll call you tomorrow and organize everything.”
“June and Dad are in London. She wants to see the dress tomorrow. I’ll take it to her hotel for the final fitting.”
“You can invite them to the house.”
She shook her head. “There’s no need.”
She didn’t want to let her family know about him. Didn’t want to rock the damn boat. “I’m not ashamed of our relationship with you, April. Are you?”
“The wedding is in two weeks. I don’t see the point of introducing drama at this point.”
Her words were so cool, someone who didn’t know as well as he did might think she didn’t care, but her body couldn’t lie. The vein pulsed in her jaw; her fingers were curled into fists again.
“I’m not drama. I’m your man.”
Her eyes softened. “Are you?”
*****
He’d kissed her outside the restaurant, his lips soundlessly telling her what he wouldn’t say. They’d walked back to the house holding hands in silence, and when they got there had walked upstairs in the dark and made frantic love for hours.
She woke alone.
She’d pushed Matthew for a commitment and he’d pulled back, just as she knew he would. Her insides ached. The last meaningful thing he’d said was that he was her man, and yet he was prepared to let her move out, risk her walking away for good.
Tonight she’d be out for dinner with June and their father, and tomorrow she would move back into her apartment. She’d hired a van to transport her meager belongings, and co-opted Marie and Eliza in to help. They were full of questions she didn’t want to answer but she’d promised full disclosure once she was safely back in her old apartment.
It was too painful to talk about before then.
Now, the thought of dragging June’s dress across town to her hotel was beyond exhausting. Matthew’s words from the previous night echoed in her mind. She wasn’t ashamed of her relationship. And it wasn’t over; it had merely shifted down a gear.
If there was to be any hope for a future with Matthew, she needed to obliterate some of the barriers. Up until now, cowardice had made her choose the easy option—the option of hiding her relationship with Matthew from her family, because avoidance felt a hell of a lot safer.
It was time to burst the bubble they’d been living in.
She could play it safe, or shake it up.
She picked up the phone.
June didn’t answer her cell, so she left a message.
“June, instead of meeting at your hotel, grab a taxi this afternoon and come to me instead.” She rattled off the address. Let the fireworks begin.
She’d told Matthew last night she was meeting June at the hotel. Now, she called him.
“Hi.” His deep voice melted her insides, as usual.
“I’ve changed the arrangement with June. She’s coming over.”
Silence stretched for a long moment.
“Did you tell her about us?”
“Not yet.” April glanced at her watch. “But she’ll be here in a couple of hours. I just wanted to give you a heads up, in case you want to work late or something.”
“I don’t see any reason to avoid her. I told you last night, I’m not ashamed we’re together.”
The warmth in his voice soothed her. “Okay, I’ll see you later.”
Being with Matthew wasn’t easy. Her father would go ballistic, and the thought of yet another daughter being involved with Matthew Logan might cause her mother to have a heart attack. Mum’s hatred of the man who’d run out on her eldest daughter was wrong, considering the facts, but she didn’t know the facts, did she?
When June arrived two hours later, it was evident from her face that she got it. She knew exactly whose house April was living in. She stood on the doorstep in her Laboutin shoes and black skinny-jeans, with her long blonde hair falling in waves to the top of her breasts.
“Hi.” She looked behind April, as if searching for someone else.
“Come in.” April stepped back to let her sister in.
June kissed the air next to April’s cheek. “So this is where you’ve been hiding!” With every step into Matthew’s house her gaze took an inventory of his pictures, his furniture, his evident wealth. “Staying with a friend?”
April led her into the kitchen, unable to contemplate talking to her sister in the room where she and Matthew had first made love.
“I think you know exactly whose house this is.”
June sat. “I sent an invitation to this house, so damn right I know whose house this is.” Her eyes flashed and her nostrils flared a little. “What are you playing at, April?”
“I could ask you the same question.” April pulled out a chair opposite. She sat and clasped her hands together on the table top. “I’m staying here with Matthew.”
“I thought you didn’t know where Matthew lived? As I remember it, you didn’t even know he lived in London.”
“I didn’t until you told me you’d invited him to the wedding. Then I looked up his address in the phone book and came out here to talk to him.”
June’s eyebrows rose in perfect arcs. “I don’t see why.”
“I came to ask Matthew not to come to your wedding. I thought it would be disruptive having the man who ran out on your previous wedding attend your current one.”
June’s face relaxed. “I told you why I invited him. I want people to forgive him. By inviting him to the wedding I was sending a message to everyone that I accept the choice he made, that I’m happy, and want him to be happy too.”
“You want Matthew to be happy?” Here it comes.
“Of course.”
“Happy with me?”
June frowned, as if not believing what she was hearing. “With you?” Her voice was so high it was almost a squeak.
April nodded. “With me.”
“As in…a couple?” June had gone pale. Her gel nails fluttered, like painted bugs trying to fly away.
“Matthew and I are in a relationship.”
“Oh, darling.” June reached out and grabbed April’s hand. Her head shook from side to side, setting her cloud of blonde hair bobbing. “Matthew isn’t…Matthew doesn’t…”
“Matthew doesn’t what?”
June sighed. “Matthew has never got over me. This relationship with you, it’s a way of getting back at me.”
Wow, June’s ego knows no limits.
“Matthew ran out on you years ago.” Tell me. Explain to me.
June’s gaze skittered to the corner of the room. Her hand withdrew. “Ah, well...” She gazed into April’s eyes, as if weighing up what April knew, and what she didn’t. “It wasn’t quite as clear-cut as that.”
April breathed in, but said nothing.
“After the miscarriage we both decided it was a good idea not to go through with the wedding.”
“You said it was his idea.”
June bit her lip. “Well, we decided it would sound better if he was the one who didn’t want—”
“What about the other men, June? The multiple possible fathers?”
June crossed her arms. “He told you?”
“He told me.”
June pushed her hair back with a shaking hand. “I couldn’t let Mum and Dad know about…” She swallowed. “I was young, boys chased me…”
“So you cheated on your boyfriend with other guys. Slept around and became pregnant. Why Matthew? Why did you choose him as the one you would marry?” She couldn’t keep the anger in any longer, couldn’t pretend to understand or to sympathize. June had destroyed her relationship with Matthew, with Amy. Had made him the bad guy and a pariah in Brookbridge. For what? Just to save her wretched reputation?
“Matthew was my boyfriend, the others were just…”
“Friends with benefits? Fuck-buddies? What?”
April stood and paced the floor.
“I was young.” June whined.
“You were young seven years ago. You’re not young now. Now, you’re a grown woman still playing the sympathy card for being abandoned by the runaway groom. You could have told the truth any time over the last seven years, people would understand. But instead…” The blaze of anger was burning itself out, replaced by a simmering sadness. “People have hated him for deserting you. It isn’t fair.”
“Do you love him?”
None of your damn business. “That’s between Matthew and me.”
“Mum and Dad won’t be happy about Matthew being in your life. I’m not happy about it.”
April gritted her teeth together. “I don’t think your opinion of my relationship is something I’m inclined to take into consideration.”
“He’s using you.” June stood. “Face it, April. I sent him the invitation to my wedding, you turned up on the doorstep soon after, and he saw the perfect way to get back at me for loving someone else.” She picked her bag off the table. “I’m going to have to see him, to talk to him about this. I don’t want my little sister hurt.”
In two steps April was toe-to-toe with her elegant sister. “Back off,” she hissed. “Back off now, June.” Her arms quivered with the strain of holding them at her sides.
“You don’t understand anything about men.” There was a bitter edge to June’s words. Her mouth twisted. “There’s no way any man is going to turn down a sure thing. And if you’re living in his house, you’re here, you’re available.”
“Stop.” Bitter bile rose in April’s throat.
“He’s made you love him, hasn’t he? I can’t forgive him for that. And neither with Dad. We were going to take you out to dinner tonight.”
“Did you come by taxi?” April walked to the kitchen door.
“No, I hired a car. It’s parked outside.”
“In that case, I suggest I give you your dress and you can try it on at the hotel.” She couldn’t stand being in the same house as June for a moment longer, and she wouldn’t be the one to leave. “If there are any problems with the fit you can tell me over dinner.”
She took the stairs two at a time, slid the silver wedding gown into a dress cover and carried it downstairs.
“And if you could hold off from telling Dad about my relationship with Matthew, I’d appreciate it. I’ll tell him myself.”
She opened the front door wide, and watched her sister walk away.
Chapter Eleven
When Matthew got home, the familiar sound of the sewing machine hummed through the air. Clutching the box he’d brought from work, he climbed the stairs. June must still be here. He didn’t want to see her. Any love he’d ever had for her had seeped away months after their split. In retrospect he’d been in love with someone who didn’t really exist.
She’d always courted attention, even back in school. Had needed to be the most popular, the one receiving the most attention.
April and June were as different as chalk and cheese. April always sought to fade into the background, dressing in black and wearing the bare minimum of make-up. Instead of artifice, her true self shone. She was funny and charming. Sexy and sweet. She’d effortlessly charmed not only him but everyone in his office. She’d even charmed his clients. The gift he clutched in his hands demonstrated that more clearly than anything.
Letting June visit her here meant she’d decided to go public with their relationship, no matter what her sister had to say about it. Matthew had left the office as soon as possible to be here and support her.
He pushed the door open. The machine’s noise drifted to quiet.
April turned. Her smile made something twist inside.
“No June?”
“She’s been and gone.” She took the strip of material from the machine and walked over.
“Is it bad of me to say I’m glad I missed her?”
She linked her arms around his waist and smiled up into his face. “I wish I’d missed her.”
Matthew smoothed a hand over her chestnut hair. “Was it bad?”
She nodded. “Battle of the Titans bad. I threw her out.”
He felt his eyes widen. Leaned down and kissed her, because he couldn’t resist. Her lips parted and his tongue slipped inside, tangling with hers. His body reacted as it always did with the taste of April, springing into instant life.
His hands slid over her curves.
“Hey.” She pulled back. “I have to get ready to go out. Why don’t you come talk to me while I dress?”
“I love watching you get dressed. Especially if it involves you taking clothes off before putting other clothes on.” He waggled his eyebrows, and felt joy explode inside as she laughed.
“You, Matthew Logan, are a complete perv.”
“That’s why you love me.”
She glanced away. “That must be it.”
The words had slipped out without thought. They’d never spoken of love. Never let those words pass either of their lips during any of the hot night-time encounters.
She stepped away, and picked the piece of fabric she’d been working on from the table. “What do you think?” She held it up for his perusal. A wide swatch of emerald fabric, studded with black beads in an intricate pattern.
“It’s gorgeous. What is it?”
“It’s a belt,” she explained as if talking to an infant. “I had this piece in my remnants box, and it was so beautiful, I thought I’d dress up my long black dress a bit.” She wrapped it around her narrow waist on top of her jeans, and fastened it in the back. “You like?” She noticed the box he was holding in one hand. “What’s that?”
He took her hand. “I’ll show you while you get dressed.”
He sat on the bed while she rooted around in the wardrobe.
“So, what’s in the box?” She glanced over her shoulder.
“It’s a present that arrived in my office today. From Albios. To you.”
“To me?” She strode over, sat, and picked up the box. She ripped off the brown paper to reveal a shoebox. Inside was a pair of black Albios running shoes and a thick plastic envelope. “Wow.” She searched inside. “They got my size right and everything.”
“She rang me to check.”
One eyebrow rose. “And you didn’t tell me?”
“I thought you liked surprises.”
“I do.” She pulled out the thick envelope and ripped it open. A black top and matching running shorts fell out when she tipped the packet on the bed. Both had hot pink stripes down the side. There was a card, which she read aloud. “April, we thought you’d like these. Matthew said you hadn’t entered the women’s 10k at the end of the month, but we’ve registered a place for you in case you’d like to. Best, Angela.”
She held up the short top—barely more than a sports bra. “That’s so nice of her.”
“Might you run the 10k?”
She grimaced. “I think my experience at the race-track proves pretty definitively I’m not in good shape for running.”
“You didn’t prepare though, did you? How long had it been since you’d done any running?”
“Years,” she confessed. “I didn’t expect it to be so intense.”
“We could run every evening. I haven’t been out for the past couple o
f weeks, and I could do with the exercise.” Leaning close he watched her eyes darken. “I could train you.”
“You wouldn’t consider stuffing a bra and joining in disguise, then? Because if you did I’d definitely enter.”
Even the thought made him shudder. “No way. No way in hell.”
She stripped off her jeans and pulled her shirt over her head.
Matthew’s synapses misfired. What were we talking about? He stepped close and ran his hand over her flat stomach. “You have a runner’s physique.”
She picked his hand off, like a diligent gardener picking a caterpillar from a rose. “Much as I love you touching me, I’m running against the clock here.” She pressed her lips to his. “And I’m going to be late back tonight, so don’t wait up.” She picked up the long black dress and stepped into it.
“I’ll be awake.”
She fastened the wide emerald belt around her waist.
“What happened with June?”
“She basically told me the only reason you and I are together is because you’re getting back at her for marrying someone else.” Her full lips compressed into a tight line. “She only admitted the truth about the wedding when I confronted her.”
“You know that’s bullshit, right?” What he had felt for June couldn’t compare with the feelings he had for April. Anger rose in a wave he hadn’t been there to put June straight. “Can I come with you to dinner? I’d like to make sure they both understand how I feel about you.”
“I don’t even understand how you feel about me.”
“I care about you. You turn me inside out, and every time I’m with you, I want to drag you into bed.”
“That’s not caring, Matthew. That’s lust.” Her smile held no trace of anger. “I know all about lust.” Her eyes flicked down his body and up again.
“It’s more than lust. A lot more than lust.” He grabbed her hand and kissed her palm. “You’re the only woman I want.”
She blinked. The smile faded and confusion clouded her eyes. “I’m getting a lot of mixed signals here.”
She was right. One minute he was encouraging her to move out, and the next declaring how she was the only woman he wanted. The two positions were un-reconcilable polar opposites.
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