The Secrets Between You and Me

by Shana Norris

  “They’ve all gone away for the summer,” I said, waving a hand. “So I don’t think they’ll make it.”

  “Well,” Ashton said, smiling brightly, “at least you have us.”

  “And ten minutes left,” Kate said, nodding at the timer above us.

  Ashton gave me a panic-stricken look over the remains of the sundae. We still had half of the giant dessert left and fifty dollars hanging in the balance. I gripped my spoon tightly and said in a calm voice, “We can do this, Ashton.”

  She nodded and then we dug into the sundae, both of us spooning ice cream and candy and chocolate sauce into our mouths as fast as we could. I didn’t focus on how full my stomach was quickly becoming or how I’d be buzzing on sugar for the rest of the day, I just ate as the minutes ticked by. We’d gained a crowd by the time we got down to the last minute, everyone gathered around our table to watch Ashton and me gorge ourselves.

  “Thirty seconds!” Kate announced.

  The crowd was chanting, “Eat! Eat! Eat!” Ice cream was dripping down my arm and my chin. My stomach bulged against the waistband of my denim skirt, but I kept swallowing down ice cream as fast as I could, scraping at the last bits.

  Finally, Ashton threw down her spoon and shouted, “Done!” We’d eaten every bit of the ice cream, leaving only melted smears across the bottom of the dish. I looked up at the clock, hoping that we hadn’t done it for nothing.

  Nine seconds left. I jumped up, leaning across the table to hug Ashton. “Don’t squeeze so tightly!” she warned me. “I feel like I’m going to explode.”

  I laughed and let strangers hug and high-five me in congratulations. Out of all the awards that I’d received in my life, this felt like the most rewarding one of all.

  “Say ‘Impossible Colossal’!” Kate said, holding her phone up to take our picture. We wrapped our arms around each other, grinning wide for our victory photo.

  #

  After our photo was taken, Ashton had to run an errand, so I headed back to Aunt Lydia’s house. Just as I climbed out of my car, a dusty gray truck slowed to a stop at the curb.

  “Hey,” Jude called as he got out of the truck. “You busy?”

  He wore cutoff khaki shorts and a thin white T-shirt.

  I shook my head and snapped my gaze from his muscled legs. “No, I was just thinking about taking a nap.” I rubbed my stomach and groaned. “I ate way too much ice cream today.”

  “Well, if I can convince you to stay awake, I have a better idea for this hot summer day.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and shuffled one foot clad in a ragged flip-flop across the dry grass. “Want to go swimming?”

  A nice, cool swim did sound nice. Aunt Lydia was probably still up in her studio and wouldn’t notice whether I was home or not.

  “Okay,” I said. “Let me get changed.”

  I crept inside the house, doing my best not to disturb Lydia. The door to the attic was closed and I could hear Aunt Lydia rustling around. I changed into my red and white dotted bikini, the only bathing suit I’d brought with me, and then pulled on a T-shirt and shorts over it. After scribbling a quick note to let Aunt Lydia know where I’d gone, I headed back out the door to where Jude waited, leaning against his truck.

  I told him about the Impossible Colossal Challenge, yelling over the sound of the wind rushing in through the open windows of the truck.

  “I can’t believe you actually ate half of that giant sundae,” he said, shaking his head as he laughed. “That thing was almost impossible for me to eat.”

  I peered out the window and noticed we were driving away from the city, farther into the mountains. “Where is this pool anyway?” I asked.

  Jude grinned. “It’s not a pool. It’s more like a pond. It’s a swimming hole Liam and I found when we were kids.”

  I had never swum in anything other than a pool. I didn’t even really like getting into the ocean. You never knew what kind of creatures might be lurking under the water.

  Jude must have noticed the look on my face because he said, “You’ll love it. Trust me.”

  Trust me. I was hearing that a lot lately, and strangely enough, I found myself putting my trust in people more than I ever had before. Jude turned the truck onto a narrow dirt road and we bounced through high brush and over rocks. When he finally parked, he hopped out and motioned for me to follow him. We walked through the forest undergrowth, until we finally reached a small pond nestled between tall rocks and pine trees.

  “Come on,” Jude said. He whipped his T-shirt off, tossing it into the grass. His muscles rippled as he moved, and he grinned as he shook his brown hair off his shoulders before running toward the water, splashing until he was waist deep.

  I still stood on the shore, unmoving, and he turned to look back at me. “You coming in?” he asked.

  “Are there any snakes in here?” I asked, looking around for any creatures in the brush.

  “Never seen one,” Jude said. “Sometimes there are geese swimming here, but that’s about it.”

  I slipped out of my shorts and then pulled my shirt off, tossing them near where Jude’s lay. I waded into the water carefully, my eyes scanning the surface for anything that looked like it might bite.

  When I reached Jude, I looked up at him just in time to see his gaze dart quickly away. I had seen Jude without his shirt on before, but this was the first time he’d seen me in anything other than my regular clothes. I bit my lip as heat rushed up my neck and I dipped lower in the water, letting it lap at my chin.

  “Race you to the other side,” Jude said suddenly, diving into the water.

  “No fair!” I called after him before I started swimming. He had a head start, but I caught up to him before he reached the rocks at the other end of the pond. He resurfaced, shaking his head and spraying me with water from his hair.

  “Hey!” I said, laughing and splashing him back

  “I’ll get you,” Jude said. He dove forward, wrapping his arms around my thighs and lifting me up over his shoulder, out of the water. I shrieked and batted at his back.

  “Put me down!”

  “I’ll put you down all right,” Jude said. “I’m going to throw you in. One . . .”

  “No!” I shouted, laughing.

  “Two . . .” Jude swung me back and forth to get some momentum. His muscles rippled under my skin as he moved and his body felt warm and solid, comforting in a strange way I had never felt before.

  “I’ll get you back if you do it,” I promised him. “You’ll regret it.”

  “Three!” I braced myself, but instead of throwing me, Jude fell backward, pulling me on top of him as we both slipped under the water. I clung to him as the water washed over us, and his arms tightened around me, holding me close. My hands were on his chest, my fingers burning with the feel of his skin against mine. When he pulled me up, our faces only inches apart, I could see faint freckles dotting his nose and cheeks. His lips were full and looked soft, glistening with drops of water. A surge of something flooded through me, a jolt that left me tingling all over. All I could think about were his lips, and what it would feel like to kiss him.

  I coughed, turning away from him. “Let’s take a breather,” I said, swimming away from him and walking out of the pond before my brain made me do something stupid.

  We were quiet as we sat together on the grass, and I was saved from talking about whatever had happened between us by a chime from my phone. I leaned back in the grass as I read the text from Natalie.

  Just saw Avery & Zac at Rose Castle. Can’t believe he’s dating that hag!!!

  “A friend?” Jude asked, pushing back his wet hair from his face.

  “Just someone from back home,” I told him. “She feels the need to keep me updated on every little thing that happens.”

  “I can see how that would get annoying,” Jude commented.

  I sighed as I stuffed the phone back in my pocket. “It’s just that for the first time, I don’t care. A year ago, this kind of gossip would h
ave made me happy. I was Hannah Cohen, straight-A student, president of half the clubs in school, on the track to being valedictorian and heading off to Yale. I had the boyfriend who everyone liked. I was the girl who everyone wanted to be.”

  “So what happened to that girl?” Jude asked.

  “I wish I knew. It all started to feel wrong, like every part of my life was nothing more than something that made up a fake person. It wasn’t me. But I don’t know who the real Hannah is, either.”

  I bit my lip. I had said too much. It was hard to remember the person I was a year ago. It seemed like a dream, like it had never been real. Which it hadn’t been. The appearance I kept up was my parents’ creation, not mine.

  Dating Zac Greeley had been the first crack in that persona. Natalie never understood why I dated him, though she put up with him for me. Zac was constantly on the move, unable to focus on one thing for very long, and he always came up with insane ideas. My mom hated him on sight. I remembered how her nose had scrunched up at Zac’s wrinkled T-shirt and his orange sneakers that were held together with duct tape. The more Mom hated him, the more I was determined to be with him.

  But then Zac had gotten dangerously close to the truth about my family. I wouldn’t make that mistake again.

  “Maybe the real Hannah is a girl who climbs to the top of Chimney Rock,” Jude said.

  I glared at him, but he just grinned.

  “Okay,” he relented. “Maybe you’re not ready for Chimney Rock yet. But how about that rock?” He pointed up above us, at a rock that formed a ledge over the swimming hole. It had to be at least twenty feet up.

  “You’re insane,” I told him, pushing at his shoulder.

  Jude jumped to his feet, extending his hand toward me. “I have been called that a few times in my life. Come on. It’s safe, I’ve done it before. And I’ll be right there the whole time to make sure you’re okay. You’ll never get over your fear of heights if you don’t push yourself.”

  Push myself outside of my comfort zone. It was the same thing Mark had told me to do this summer.

  I held Jude’s hand tightly as we made our way up the rocks toward the top, trying to fill my mind with thoughts of anything but what I was about to do.

  Fear churned in my stomach and the remains of the sundae roiled inside my gut. I gulped as we climbed higher into the sky, our fingers entwined as we clambered over the rocks. Droplets of water trickled from his hair to his shoulders, down his chest and arms. I remembered how comforting his arms had been as he had pulled me under the water, and then I pushed those thoughts away.

  “Here we are,” Jude said, standing upright as we reached the ledge. We were higher than some of the trees. My head spun and I closed my eyes, forcing myself to take deep breaths.

  “I’ll jump first,” Jude told me. “So you can see that it’s safe. Then you jump, and I’ll be down there waiting for you. I’ll be right there, Hannah. I promise.”

  I opened my eyes and looked at his gray eyes staring back at me. I nodded and let go of his hand, stepping back while he moved toward the edge of the rock.

  With one last grin at me, Jude lunged forward. He curled himself into a ball as he fell toward the water, hitting it with a big splash. I held my breath as I waited for him to come back up. It seemed like ages before he resurfaced, shaking water out of his eyes.

  “Come on, Hannah!” he called up to me, his voice echoing off the rocks. “You can do it!”

  I bit my lip as I looked down where he waited. It looked so far, as if I was thousands of feet in the air. My throat went dry and I stepped back quickly from the edge, squeezing my eyes shut.

  “I’m right here, Hannah!” Jude called. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll wait here for you as long as it takes.”

  No one had ever said those words to me. My parents were always in a rush, always urging me to move faster, to get things done and move on. Natalie certainly didn’t wait for anyone. If you wasted her time, she would be done with you.

  I could do this. I wouldn’t let Jude down.

  Taking a deep breath, I ran toward the edge of the rock before I could change my mind. I flew through the air, my hair whipping around my face. For a moment, I felt weightless and free, like I could float away from everything.

  Bubbles erupted around me as I hit the water and slipped under. I kicked my way back toward the top, laughing and gasping when I broke the surface.

  Jude swam toward me, wrapping me in a tight hug. “You did it!” he exclaimed. “I knew you could.”

  He swirled me around in the water and I held on to his broad shoulders. “You’re the only one who knew that, then,” I told him. “I never thought I could.”

  “Just wait,” he said. “Soon you’ll be at the top of Chimney Rock and then you’ll be unstoppable.”

  We were so close again, our noses nearly touching. Except this time, it felt normal, as if floating in the water with Jude’s hands around my waist was the most natural thing in the world.

  This time, he was the one who pulled away. “We’d better dry off before we head back home,” he said.

  “Yeah,” I agreed. I followed him back toward the shore, shivering despite the summer sun that beat down on us.

  Chapter Eight

  I squished the wet clay between my fingers as I examined the lump on the table in front of me. To my left, Ashton expertly added sloping curves into her vase. Even Kate’s bowl actually looked like a bowl. Mine still looked like a lump of gray clay.

  “How do you do that?” I asked, leaning toward Ashton to whisper the question. All around me, people were barely using any effort to manipulate the clay, but nothing seemed to be working as easily as the instructor had led me to believe.

  “Hold your hands like this,” Ashton said, showing me the correct posture again.

  I tried¸ and this time the clay rose up in a column before promptly bending over in the middle and collapsing into a pathetic lump.

  “Tell me again why we’re doing this?” I said.

  “It’s fun,” Kate answered.

  “It’s torture for the artistically challenged,” I said.

  “Everyone has an artist in them,” Ashton said. “Didn’t you ever draw when you were a kid?”

  “Sure, but at some point, I realized that I sucked, so I gave it up to focus on things I was actually good at.” I sighed as I looked at my clay-caked hands. “I’m going to wash up and wait for you guys to finish.”

  While Ashton and Kate put the finishing touches on their works, I wandered around the hall and studied the artwork on the walls. The truth was that most art all looked the same to me. I could look at pictures of the Mona Lisa or Starry Night in a book and understand that someone had deemed them masterpieces, but I didn’t understand what made them any more special than any other painting.

  I stopped in front of one painting and felt the pull of something familiar about it. It featured a small town rising out of the trees that surrounded it, and it wasn’t especially remarkable. Yet something held me there, compelling me to study the colors and shapes within the painting.

  The brass tag underneath the painting read: “WILLOWBROOK” BY LYDIA MONTGOMERY, ASHEVILLE, NC.

  This was one of Aunt Lydia’s paintings. And not just any painting, but one of my home. Our home.

  I was still standing in front of the painting when Ashton and Kate finally found me.

  “How long has this painting been here?” I asked.

  “A long time,” Ashton said. “Lydia donated it after she moved here. I think it’s the last painting she actually finished.”

  Ashton and Kate talked as we left Blue Ridge Crafts, and I followed along, so absorbed in thinking about the painting and why Aunt Lydia would give it away, that I didn’t notice when they had stopped walking.

  “Ouch,” I said, crashing into Ashton’s back. “Sorry.”

  But Ashton hadn’t noticed. She was staring at the ground, her face red.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

&
nbsp; Kate nodded her head toward something down the street. “She’s too afraid to keep walking this way.”

  “Why?” I looked down the street but just saw more shops like the others we had already passed.

  “Because Carter works at the burger place up there,” Kate explained. “She thinks that if she walks by the window, Carter will think she’s stalking him.”

  “We came by here yesterday,” Ashton said. “It would look weird if we walk by again today.”

  Kate rolled her eyes. “It’s a free sidewalk, Ash. You can walk by a million times a day if you want.”

  “I don’t want him to think I’m doing it on purpose!”

  “You are doing it on purpose,” Kate said.

  “But I don’t want him to know that.” Ashton crossed her arms. “Let’s go across the street.”

  “Then we’d have to cross back once we pass,” Kate said. “That’s stupid.” She looked at me. “Grab her arm.”

  I grabbed Ashton’s left arm while Kate grabbed her right. Keeping her solidly between us, we walked down the sidewalk. Ashton’s feet dragged on the sidewalk as we got closer to the burger shop where Carter worked, but we managed to pass without her freaking out.

  “Was he there?” Ashton whispered. She had stared straight ahead the entire time until we passed the little shop.

  “No,” Kate said. “I don’t think so. I didn’t see him.”

  “Dammit,” Ashton whispered.

  “Why are you whispering?” Kate asked.

  Ashton sighed. “I’m pathetic.”

  “Yes, you are,” Kate agreed. “But if you’d talk to him, he’d probably realize how great you are, too.”

  Ashton’s shoulders slumped, her mouth turned down into a deep frown, until she saw Jude’s truck just ahead. He was parked at the curb in front of a small bank and as we watched, he came out of the front door into the sunny afternoon.

  Ashton nudged me hard in the ribs. “You should go ask Jude to hang out with us sometime,” she said.