An Innocent Wife

by Richa Resa

  “Calm down, Clarisse,” Nora said, gesturing for her to breathe to get rid of that anger, but it was of no use.

  “I, myself, want to kill that bastard with my own bare hands and, being a good lawyer, I could even save my ass if I did. For heaven’s sake, I’m boiling up with anger too, but we have to think like adults and help Eunice.” Nora took deep breaths in order to control her temper. I sat there on the couch without any words or tears. I had grown tired from crying. I didn’t know what to do.

  “Okay, think like mature people, like adults,” Clarisse muttered and sat beside me. Now I was stuck in between Nora, on my right, and Clarisse, on my left. I sipped on my hot chocolate while they both kept thinking what to do. I felt relieved after sharing my problems with them. It really felt good. I looked at my reflection on the glass coffee table. My lifeless long hair, red puffy eyes, and an unwanted sadness loomed over my face. It made me loathe myself. What had I done to myself? I was tired of seeing this condition of mine. I wanted my life back, my eyes sparkling with happiness, my brown hair filled with life. I wanted to shed off my skin and start anew. There was this craving inside of me for a change, for finding something to get rid of this sadness and pain I carried. I needed to bring something new and wild in my life. Getting rid of this sorrowful life was my need, my desire, and my last wish.

  “I need a makeover.” I felt the words slip out as I stared at my reflection. I needed to get rid of this person I had become. “I need a change from all this, from this sadness, pain, and my unrequited love.” The words flew from my lips, enough to tell what I felt, what I desired.

  “Eunice, is that what you really want?” Nora asked. I nodded with confidence and stood up. Their eyes followed my movements.

  “I just want to be free. I don’t want to care about Joshua or what he does for once. I want to be myself, take care of me, and worry more about my happiness than his. I want to put myself first for once in my life. He’s already broken the chains of marriage bound by those holy vows, so why should I keep on trying to act on them? I want to think about me and my happiness without him. I’m done with his wicked games. I want to no longer care what he does. I want change, some life, some wildness rather than this hatred and pain at each and every step of my life. I just want the old me back, with a life filled with fun and happiness, not tears.” I wanted this—no, I needed this. Moments of silence passed and they both looked at me with wide eyes and concern. Clarisse was the first one to act.

  “I’ll set up an appointment for you with my stylist, Eunice. He’ll give you a complete makeover and bring out a new you. Then we’ll go shopping, and then clubbing!” she said excitedly. “We promise you, Eunice, that we’ll try our best to bring your old self back. We will once again make your life filled with happiness and sunshine.” She enveloped me in a tight, warm hug.

  “I will save you, Eunice. I won’t let anything happen to you. I will help you find yourself again. Make you so strong that you could fight through this,” Nora consoled me. Clarisse pulled away from me and hit Nora on her arm playfully.

  “Ouch,” Nora groaned while rubbing the spot where Clarisse hit her.

  “There is no I, missy. It is only ‘we’ here. We both are going to help you,” she said with a big smile.

  “Whatever happens, we’re in this together. It’s not just because you’re a good friend to me, Eunice, I see you more as my sister. I see both of you as my sisters. I hope you both remember that I will always stand up for my family and stick with them. I am going to be there for you, Eunice.” She said the last part softly. “Family comes first for me, and you are my family.” Clarisse held my hands in hers. After a very long time, tears of happiness welled in my eyes. I grabbed both of them in a tight hug and felt like home, a place where happiness existed.

  “You are my sisters too,” Nora said, smiling.

  “We truly are!” Clarisse and I chimed in at the same time and started laughing. We talked about good days from the past, shared our future plans, and much more. I laughed as once again I saw both Nora and Clarisse fighting on what style would suit me. Leaving them to discuss how my makeover should be, I stared out the window. The sight of the rising sun had me hooked. The sky was beautified with the different shades of oranges, and I felt something stir inside me. A feeling of calm spread through my heart. We had talked all the way to the morning, and yet it was not enough.

  I hoped that this rising sun would not only mark a new day, but also a new part of my life.

  Maybe a new beginning where happiness would stay. Maybe this change would help me, and even him. I just wished that my days would grow better and my life would take a turn towards a path of happiness…

  Chapter 6

  Joshua

  The annoying bickering of the crows, along with an uncomfortable feeling deep inside me, woke me up early in the morning. I couldn’t pick why I felt like this emptiness taunted me. I hadn’t felt like this for the past few months. I looked at the rising sun, and its crimson colors didn’t feel very welcoming. The red sky felt more like a warning about a storm—about something bad. There was this feeling inside me that something was going to change, something was going to happen. I felt that old emptiness, pain, and hurt filling my heart once again. I had let myself grow numb to these feelings by losing myself in the carnal pleasure that comes only from women. Why were the feelings returning? What was happening?

  Looking around the room, I remembered last night. The pleasurable night between Anne and me made a smile reach my lips. In the past few months I had grown closer to her while using her. Could she have been the one for me? I was quite sure that Eunice had been a mistake—a big one that had cost me a broken heart, a heart so shattered that I couldn’t find its pieces in the void left behind. She had killed my daughter. The pain masking her face when she saw me and Anne together was a sight for me to think about again and again. It made me feel alive, brought happiness inside my soul. Her pain was the nectar for my soul, my heart, and life. It was the same expression I had seen when I directed those sharp words at her. Why would she have been hurt by those words? Why wasn’t there any anger on her face or guilt for being caught? What game was she playing? Such questions left me troubled.

  Not in the mood for wasting my time over her, and with a dire need to get rid of these unwanted feelings and thoughts, I went to prepare a shower. A long hot shower would wash away all thoughts of her and the hold she had over me. It being the weekend, I had no reason to rush and go out. I had too much time before Eunice would wake up to be tortured by me. In the past many months, I had aced the practice of leaving without seeing or hearing her, I knew it killed her and I lived for it. Starting a day with her annoying presence would always set me on edge. I really didn’t want her, not now nor ever again. She was just a woman I needed to teach a lesson to, a lesson that would leave her empty, void, and dead from the inside. I just desired to take away her everything.

  I strode towards the window to shut out the sight of the warning red in the sky. As I peeked down, I saw the empty driveway. Eunice’s car was gone.

  “That’s unusual,” I muttered to myself. Thinking she went somewhere to hide her shame or bury herself alive, I smiled and let the thoughts of her leave my mind.

  “She’s a killer who goes after the innocent,” I reminded myself again. But I felt an emotion stir inside me, taunting me. Was I lying to myself? Shaking my head, trying to get rid of the popping thoughts, I rushed to the bathroom for my much needed shower.

  Standing under the running hot water with my eyes closed, I tried to remember Anne’s face, the woman I was using for my own solace. I tried to remember her face, moans, and much more. I just wanted to remember what I loved the most.

  Instead of Anne, I was stunned to find the memories of happy Eunice dominating my mind. She was giggling as I tried to tickle her. She was smiling and laughing with her hair sprawled all over my pillow while her eyes sparkled with happiness. There was love in her eyes. It should have made my blood boi
l, but it didn’t. I don’t know why, but I let those happy memories invade my mind and soul. The beautiful memories of her, of her beautiful body, made me feel things, made me smile, took me to places of happiness and joy. A sweet calmness spread through me. The day I saw her in the light of more than a friend, the day I took the first step in our relationship, first kiss, her first night, the look of sheer pleasure on her face, the day I proposed to her, the day I married her—every happy moment I had spent with her passed in front of my eyes. She had changed me and my whole life. She had loved me until she changed herself and me. She came into my world like a storm and left me broken in its aftermath.

  A lone tear escaped my eye, but the others were not so far away. My unwanted tears mixed with water cascaded down my face. How did I lose her? Where had our love gone? Where did I go wrong, what turned her like this? What had I done to make her do this? I asked myself with pain deep in my heart.

  But there were other questions that taunted me more than all the others. What had I done? What am I doing? What had happened? These questions clashed with those happy memories, with those vows I made. They went against the love I embraced.

  “Why is this happening today? Why am I strolling down memory lane? I hate her with my soul. She killed Elle. She has broken me, taken away my soul and crushed it. Then why does it feel like I am the one in the wrong? Why is it hurting? She’s a killer. She is evil, a bitch. She is the wrong one. She is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.” I reminded myself.

  “She has fucking hurt me!” I growled, punching the tiles and bruising my hand. My chest heaved in breathlessness as painful tears escaped my eyes.

  “What have I ever done to deserve this?” I asked myself as hot water cascaded down my face. I rubbed myself with the body wash, trying to get rid of these thoughts some way or another. I wanted to wash the memories off myself. I don’t know how much time passed, but by the time I got out, my skin was wrinkled. I wanted something as a distraction. I turned on the TV and tuned into some action movie. Time passed on as one movie finished, then another started. My stomach growled in hunger. I stood up and looked outside to see whether Eunice had returned. Her car still wasn’t back. I don’t know why, but worry seeped its way inside me. Why should I be worried when I wasn’t supposed to be? I don’t fucking care what she does.

  I fixed myself a heavy sandwich in the kitchen downstairs before returning back. As I munched on my food, I surfed through the channels to find something more interesting and distracting. Unable to find anything, I decided to go on Netflix and watch some good movies to pass my time. Suddenly, a realization dawned on me that, without Eunice in my life, my day was utterly boring. Even when I wanted to hate her and hurt her the most, she was yet the center of my world. There wasn’t any kind of bliss in my life. I have spent days trying to figure out new ways to torment, hurt, and destroy her soul. Even being unwanted, she was the meaningful part of my life.

  With the passing time, I engrossed myself in the contents of my laptop screen.

  Two movies later, and after a lot of laughter, I felt great. Two comedy movies had been just what I needed to lift my mood. At last I was able to shake off that uncomfortable feeling. Most of the afternoon had passed and yet there was no sign of Eunice. A yawn escaped me, telling me that sleep was coming. Anne had kept me awake until very late. I lay down on the bed and let sleep take me. Deep inside my heart I knew it was a distraction for me not to care and worry about Eunice, because without her, life was not the way I wanted it. It was boring.

  ***

  The clatter of utensils woke me up with a jolt. The house was no longer silent but filled with voices. I walked up to the window and looked at the two cars in the driveway besides mine. Eunice’s Audi wasn’t here, but two other cars were. Upon a closer inspection, I remembered that one of them belonged to Nora. What was she doing here? Was Eunice with them for the entire day?

  The laughter inside the house pulled me outside my room. I looked down and saw Clarisse and Nora sitting on the couch, laughing about some guy they met. I couldn’t see Eunice but I knew she was here, I had heard her for sure. I quickly went inside and changed into something more presentable than my boxers. Knowing she was here powered up my adrenaline, spurring me to rush my activities. She made me feel more alive than ever. My mind had started to work of its own accord, trying to figure out ways to hurt her, bring her to her knees, weak and begging. I had grown into a sadist but even now, her sweet laugh affected me in a way that made the coldness inside my heart melt. It was one of the reasons why I had to stay away from her. She held a power over me that could bring me to my knees, unlike any other woman. I had to constantly remind myself again and again that she was a monster—pure evil. She had taken away my daughter, and all I could think about was torturing her till she confessed her sin.

  Making my way downstairs, I gazed at the women sitting on my couch. I looked around to find Eunice, but couldn’t catch a glimpse of her brown hair anywhere.

  The clatter in the kitchen gained my attention. There was someone there, a beautiful woman dressed in a red cocktail dress. The dress showcased her perfect figure and long, slim legs. It clung to her like a second skin. Her back was to me, covered with a red net clinging to her sleek body shape. I tried to figure out who she was while my imagination tried to construct the front of the dress. If it was so revealing from the backside, what would the front be like? Her hair was light brown and shoulder-length, cut in layers that were too different from Eunice’s hair, which was a lot longer than this woman’s. I loved the feel of her long hair against my fingers. The sight of her hair sprawled over my chest was a sight no one could replace. Even though there was hatred between us, I couldn’t ever forget that sight. An image of the light brown hair of the beauty in front of me sprawled over my chest passed through my mind. Something stirred in me, awakening my animalistic desire to have her with me in the most intimate way possible.

  The beauty in the kitchen turned around with a tray in her hand. I had the chance to look at her skin and arms. She was beautiful; her pale skin looked so soft that I wanted to reach out and touch her. She was toned to perfection. She was the epitome of beauty. The front of her dress made my heart skip a beat. It had a deep neck, clearly showing enough cleavage to light my imagination on fire. A slender waist, a toned body, and that beautiful dress had me wrapped around her finger. As she walked towards the living room on those to-die-for legs, an image flashed through my mind—those legs tangled between mine and wrapped around my waist. In an instant my member down there started to get hard.

  What the hell is happening? She attracted me not only sexually but also emotionally. No woman besides Eunice had made me feel this way, but this woman had a hold on me greater than her. Her nails were beautifully painted with a fiery red—maybe just like her personality. My eyes travelled up to her slender neck, making me imagine what it would be like to kiss her there. Her lips, coated with a glossy light red shade, allured me to have a taste of them, to feel them against my lips, to explore them. She was biting her lip, and all I wanted was to stop her assault on it and me too. As my eyes caught her eyes, a feeling of déjà vu took over me. A feeling of love, adoration, an uncontrollable desire with an instinct to make her mine—the same feeling I had for Eunice. Those chocolaty brown orbs of hers sucked me in.

  “Eunice, stop with all the formality. We’re your friends, not guests,” Clarisse uttered to the woman in red. Her words made me widen my eyes with shock, bafflement, and sudden realization. Eunice—that was her! The beauty in red who made my heart skip a beat, made my animal desires come out, was the one I loathed the most. I felt disgusted by this knowledge. My eyes glanced at her from head to toe, finding the similarities between old and new Eunice. Her long brown hair was cut down short to her shoulder blades, and it was a lighter shade now. Her lifeless chocolaty eyes were once again filled with innocence, confidence, and even love. They were nothing like what I had turned them into with my darkest torment. She was totally nothing li
ke what I had made her in the past months.

  My heart spiked up seeing her looking so ravishing even when I wanted to hate her. She had changed completely. She never would’ve worn that dress, have her nails painted red, or have that light shade of red coating her lips. She was never that bold. Or was she, and I had never noticed? Her body language was enough to tell me that she wasn’t weak anymore but someone standing up for herself, and it scared me. Her determination pinched me. Her life was changing and it hurt, made me want to lose my control. What was happening? Where had that weak, scared Eunice gone, the one I had built?

  “It’s just some juice, Clarisse. I’m truly exhausted from all this shopping. I really hope you are too,” Eunice stated as she sat down with her legs crossed at the ankles, giving me a good view of those legs. Damn, I wanted to hate her but she was fucking making it difficult. The urge to hurt her and take away the happiness from her life was there, but at the moment it was clouded by lust and love. My whole body was burning with a desire to claim her and devour every inch of her. She was hard to resist. Not willing to stay there anymore and lose what was left of my sanity and control, I made my way upstairs. Just halfway up the stairs, Clarisse said something that had me burning with anger, a feeling of pure jealousy taking over me. I turned around to look at them.

  “I’m not that exhausted. You shouldn’t be, either, Eunice. We have a club night to look forward to. Save your energy for it. It’s going to be a long night of fun and flirting.” Clarisse said the last words with a giggle. Club, she was going to a club. Fun and flirting—what in the holy hell was she thinking? Was she craving male attention or some wild night? What was she up to?