Just Business

by Julie Cannon

  The roaring in her ears was beginning to subside, along with her anger. Shame over what she had just said to Audrey replaced it. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I never should have said that. You’ve been nothing but wonderful to me and Michael for years. I’m just upset.” Callie plopped into the chair and rubbed her face. “God, that sounds like a flimsy excuse.”

  Audrey walked over and put her arms around Callie’s neck. “It’s okay, you deserve a little slack. You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

  “What am I going to do? I have no place to live. Thank God I have a job.” After their wedding, Dillon had told Callie she didn’t have to work, but she insisted that she wanted to keep her job with Ross. She loved it and Ross, and not working would make her feel like a kept woman. She chuckled. So much for that principle. Audrey hugged her tight, then released her.

  “I’ve already told you that you don’t have to worry about a place to live. I kind of like having a roommate.”

  Callie grinned. “Yeah, until you bring home some hot chick and find me eating ice cream out of the container. That’s a real romance killer.”

  “Who says I haven’t already brought someone home?”

  They laughed for the first time in days.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Dillon slammed the door behind her. Greg had just told her that Callie still had not called, but the florist had. The manager wanted to know if he should continue to deliver to Audrey’s house since the deliveries were continuously refused. She stomped across the large office and tossed her briefcase on the chair in front of her desk.

  “Fuck,” she shouted, not caring who heard her. She had been saying that word a lot lately. She fucked up by talking about her plan in the office where Callie could and did hear, fucked as in if she didn’t do something to get Callie back the entire project might go down the drain, and last but not least, was fucking stupid to ever believe this would really work.

  The last three weeks had been the longest of her life. She had followed Callie out the door, but the elevator door had closed in her face with Callie on the other side. She repeatedly poked the elevator button as if by some miracle a car would arrive quicker based on the number of times she hit the button. Dillon briefly considered the stairs but she was fifty floors up. By the time she got to the lobby and ran out to the street, Callie was nowhere in sight.

  The look on Callie’s face haunted her dreams. In an instant her wife’s expression had turned from happiness to confusion, comprehension, hurt, and finally anger. Dillon had never seen such a spectrum as Callie’s was the day she learned why she had married her.

  Dillon had searched frantically for Callie over the next few days. She was not at work, and Dillon wasn’t surprised that Callie wouldn’t answer her cell phone. She finally got through to Audrey and relaxed when she told her Callie was with her but obviously didn’t want to see her. Dillon might not be in love with Callie, but she didn’t want anything bad to happen to her.

  Bill had called on three separate occasions, inviting her and Callie to dinner or out on their boat, and Dillon had successfully declined the invitation for one reason or another. But if she didn’t accept the next time, they would grow suspicious. Bill had already mentioned that Phyllis had been trying to get in touch with Callie for several days and she had not yet returned her call. Dillon couldn’t remember what excuse she gave for that one.

  She was still looking out the window when Greg came in. “Dillon?”

  “Unless you have some good news to tell me about Callie, I don’t want to hear it.”

  Greg had been on the receiving end of her wrath ever since Callie had stormed out of her office. He had also been her rock, practically running the company for her. She was distracted, had lost her focus, and couldn’t remember where she was supposed to be and when. He kept her on schedule, made her sign what needed to be signed, and otherwise left her alone.

  A few days after Callie learned about her deception Dillon went home and knew something was different the moment she let herself in through the garage door. It wasn’t the fact that Callie’s car was gone, but that the inside of her house felt empty, lifeless. She knew without looking that Callie had been there and collected her things. She didn’t need to see the empty space on the mantel where the picture of Michael had been displayed or absence of the dozen or so books she had stacked next to the already bulging bookcase or the hangers hanging in the closet stripped of their contents to know that Callie was out of her life.

  She roamed from room to room, noticing for the first time how lonely and desolate her house was—her life was. Callie brought few material things with her, but she had filled Dillon’s house with energy. Every room came alive with Callie, even when she wasn’t physically in it. The mere hint of her presence was all it took. But the condition of Callie’s studio made Dillon feel like her guts had been laid open. Callie’s painting supplies were gone, but she had left the works that depicted their life together. The canvases were piled haphazardly in a corner, discarded like their marriage.

  Dillon’s house was cold and empty, like a sarcophagus. Her bed was suddenly too big and she was sleeping in the guest bedroom—trying to sleep was more accurate. She hadn’t managed more than three or fours hours a night for weeks.

  She nodded at Greg’s briefing, neither of them saying anything. She had bitten his head off more than once, and he was all business lately. The sadness around her pressed closer. Greg didn’t deserve this treatment.

  “Join me for coffee?” Dillon asked by way of an opening. Greg looked surprised but he recovered enough to get them both a cup. When he returned, Dillon motioned for him to sit on the couch with her.

  “How are you holding up?” he asked tentatively.

  “I could say great. I could say that I’m glad it’s over and I can get on with my life. I could say that monogamy never really was my style. I could say a lot of things.” Dillon held the cup and saucer with both hands to hide the fact that her hands were shaking.

  “What do you want to say?”

  “That I miss her,” Dillon responded without hesitation. “That I didn’t intend to treat her like this. That I’m sorry she ended up getting hurt. That someday she will find it in herself to forgive me. That I’m not stupid enough to believe she will.”

  Dillon had thought all of these things every day for the past several weeks. She had been profoundly affected by the pain she’d caused Callie. She had never before known that she had hurt someone so deeply or experienced this degree of agony and guilt over doing something.

  “What do you plan to do?”

  That was the number-one question Dillon had yet to find an answer for. She lay awake at night thinking about Callie and picturing her body in the shadows that danced on the dark ceiling. She listened for her voice, her laugh in the rustle of the leaves on a windy day. She looked for her wavy blond hair in crowds, coming up empty every time. Callie had filled her but now she was empty.

  She didn’t know when it happened. It’s not like she woke up one day and said, “Today’s the day I’m going to fall in love,” and, poof, she did. But she had fallen in love with Callie. Somewhere between “Would you like to dance” and “I do,” it happened. She knew now that she never would have married Callie if she hadn’t been in love with her. She would have stopped the charade long before. Dillon was many things, but she drew the line at such an act. At least she did now.

  Injuring Callie was like cutting out a piece of her own heart. She had wounded the woman she loved—whether intentionally or not didn’t matter. Callie had been vulnerable and she had taken advantage of her situation. Not only the men who attacked her but the judicial system designed to punish the perpetrators had crushed her spirit. And now the woman who had promised to love, honor, and cherish her had victimized her yet again. Dillon had never actually said that she would protect Callie from being hurt again, but she knew Callie believed the vows they exchanged that summer day meant so much more than the words they uttered
. Not only had she not protected Callie, she had caused her unpardonable pain, and Dillon had no idea how to heal it.

  “I’d fall on my sword and beg her forgiveness, but I think she’d delight in twisting it in a little farther,” Dillon finally answered. “Got any ideas? You’ve done this a few more times than I have.” Greg had broken up and got back together with more girlfriends than Dillon could keep track of.

  “Grovel. That’s the key. Red-blooded American groveling. A little begging and pleading couldn’t hurt either.” He sipped his coffee and looked at Dillon before he spoke again. “Are you in love with her?”

  “Yes,” Dillon replied without having to think about it. “Yes, I am. It took her leaving for me to realize it. Jesus, where was Callie six months before I had to go to Bill’s for that stupid dinner party?” Then all of this wouldn’t be happening.

  “You weren’t ready for her,” Greg said.

  “You’re right. I wasn’t ready to settle down, and I certainly wasn’t ready to fall in love. I wouldn’t have recognized it if it had slapped me in the face. I probably would have slapped back and kept walking.” Dillon rose from the couch, too restless to sit still for long.

  “Isn’t that what you did?”

  Dillon stared at Greg. His words were the most profound thing she had ever heard. “Are you a shrink in your spare time?”

  “Who has spare time? You keep me so busy I hardly have time to have a nice dinner with a beautiful woman, let alone anything else.”

  Dillon explored what Greg had said. Did she slap Callie away? Certainly not literally. She would never harm her physically, but figuratively? Did she keep her at bay by continuing the charade and not admitting that she had fallen in love with her? Callie loved her, that was evident, and even though Dillon had said the magic words to Callie, she thought at the time they were just words she needed to say.

  But they were more than mere words and, like the marriage thing, she never would have said them unless she meant them somewhere down deep. Her feelings for Callie had been buried so far inside her that when she left, she ripped a hole in her soul with such force that Dillon couldn’t help but finally see them.

  “I don’t know, Greg. She won’t return my calls, she refuses my flowers. What makes me think she’ll talk to me? She’ll probably shoot me. Worse yet, say nothing and keep walking.”

  That was the most terrible thing that could happen. If Callie did shoot her, at least she would be out of her misery. But Callie not speaking to her ever again was crushing. She had to find a way. There had to be something that would prove to Callie that she was sorry any of this had happened and that she loved her for who she was, not for what she could get from her.

  *

  “I did something really stupid.”

  Laura stared at Dillon like that was anything but a news flash. “Like what? Did you do something to break Callie’s heart?”

  “It didn’t start out that way.”

  Laura’s head shot up from her menu. Dillon realized Laura had spoken in jest and that she didn’t expect Dillon’s answer. Dillon had asked her to lunch to talk about what happened with Callie and to help her try to sort out her feelings.

  “It never does.”

  “I need your help right now, Laura, not your attitude,” Dillon snapped. Laura could be so judgmental at times, and by the looks of it, this was going to be one of those times.

  “Let me hear what you did before you start assuming I’ll help you,” Laura said after their waiter had taken their order and left them alone.

  Dillon told her the whole sordid story, leaving nothing out. She could never lie to her sister, and she saw her confession as taking responsibility for her actions. She had matured a lot in the past few weeks but realized she had a long way to go.

  “Jesus, Dillon, how could you be so callous?” The disgust in her voice was obvious.

  “I told you it didn’t begin that way. I had no idea everything would spiral so far out of control,” Dillon pleaded.

  Laura barely let her finish. “Bullshit. Admit to yourself the scheme went exactly how you wanted it to.”

  “But I—”

  “But nothing and don’t interrupt. Not doing anything to stop it is the same as making it happen. You are responsible for this mess. Dillon, how could you? If this is the way you run your business you deserve to be married to it, not Callie.”

  Laura and Callie had grown close, so her reaction didn’t surprise Dillon. “Don’t worry, she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

  “Do you blame her?”

  “No.” She said the single word quietly.

  “So, what do you want from me? The way I see it there’s nothing I can do for you, even if I wanted to.”

  “Will you talk to her?”

  “And say what? That my sister is an asshole, a pig, and a liar? I don’t think Callie needs me to tell her that.”

  Laura’s words stung, but they were nothing compared to the pain Dillon had inflicted on Callie.

  Laura stood up. “You’re my sister, Dillon, and I love you. I will always love you, but right now I have absolutely no respect for you.”

  She walked out of the room, leaving Dillon alone literally and figuratively. She had put herself in this position and she was the only one who could get herself out.

  *

  Callie stood on the threshold, her hands shaking so hard she could barely push the doorbell. She started counting to one hundred to keep from turning and running down the steps, across the drive, and back into her car. The door opened and her heart stopped. Dillon stood in front of her in bare feet, wearing a dark blue pullover sweater and ragged blue jeans.

  They stood there several minutes. At first glance Dillon looked the same, but as Callie studied her closer she could detect the deeply etched lines around her eyes and the pallor of her skin.

  Finally Dillon spoke. “Callie.” It was both a question and a statement.

  “Hello, Dillon.”

  Dillon’s eyes raked over her body from head to toe several times, as if she was trying to convince herself that Callie was actually standing in front of her. In spite of herself, Callie’s body responded. Dillon knew every nook and cranny on it and definitely what to do once she got there. How could Callie not respond?

  Dillon shook her head. “I’m sorry, please come in.” She stepped back to give Callie room to pass.

  Seeing Dillon, even after everything that had happened, Callie wanted to melt into her strong embrace. But she couldn’t. Not after her betrayal. She had a plan and she had to stick to it. “No, not until we talk.”

  Dillon looked surprised at her statement. “All right.” She stepped onto the porch and closed the door behind her. Though Dillon seemed anything but patient, she waited for Callie to speak.

  “I have a proposition for you,” Callie began, before she could lose her nerve. “I talked to Bill yesterday. He still thinks we’re happily married, and I get the impression that he wouldn’t be too pleased to learn the details of your little scheme.”

  Dillon flinched at the word “scheme,” especially since Laura had used exactly the same word, but didn’t do anything to stop Callie.

  “You need me to close this deal and I need something from you. If you’re looking for a business arrangement, I’ll give it to you. In return for my continuing to pretend that we’re madly in love, you will keep on funding Michael’s appeal. That’s it. No strings, nothing more than business. You get your project and Daddy’s approval, and Michael gets out of jail. Then I’ll walk away and no one will be the wiser about your dirty little secret.”

  Dillon was stunned. She had imagined many scenarios and what she would say if she was given the chance to talk to Callie again, but this was certainly not one she ever thought would happen. Callie was offering to trade herself for the resources to get her brother out of prison. Dillon fell in love with her all over again.

  “Come on, Dillon, which is it, yes or no? I don’t plan to wait here all day. I have
things to do,” Callie replied sternly, taking charge of the conversation and herself.

  Dillon wanted Callie in her life, and if this was how it had to be, she would be a fool not to accept her offer. She knew their arrangement would be short-lived, but given the way she felt right now, it was better than nothing. She would worry about tomorrow later.

  “Yes.”

  Callie’s expression didn’t change.

  Since when was she so controlled? Since you ripped her heart out, stupid.

  “Fine. I’ll be back tomorrow morning.” Callie started down the steps, then stopped and turned around. “Oh, and Dillon.” She hesitated. “We consummated this marriage under false pretences. I won’t make that mistake again. This is business, just business, as you phrased it, and I don’t mix business with pleasure.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Dillon watched Callie walk down the sidewalk. Other than when she made her parting condition, Callie never looked back, nor did she look at Dillon once she was safely inside her car. She simply turned on the ignition, backed out of the drive, and calmly drove down the street. Dillon stood there until the retreating taillights rounded the corner.

  The silence echoed through the house louder than ever. Callie was coming back, filling every room with her physical presence, but things wouldn’t be the same. Her body would be there but her soul would not. Dillon poured a drink and opened the patio door. The sun had set, leaving the sky coated with broad brushstrokes of reds and yellows.

  The first star appeared and she recalled a familiar childhood chant as if it were yesterday.

  Star light, star bright,

  The first star I see tonight,

  I wish I may, I wish I might,

  Have the wish I wish tonight.