Return To You

by Leia Stone

  "Yes," she says, the word fractured by her heavy breath.

  With one thrust, I fill her, and I'm transported to a time when life was easy, when loving Autumn and going to class was all I had to worry about. She moans with pleasure, her nails raking down my back.

  Her body feels just as I remember.

  I seize her lips with my own, kissing her deeply, my tongue searching.

  Her mouth tastes just as I remember.

  We part for a breath and I inhale deeply, my nose pressed to her hairline.

  She smells just as I remember.

  "Owen," Autumn moans, her hands gliding over my back, down over my ass, gripping me. "You feel so good. Better than I remember."

  "For me too, love," I murmur, a small part of me realizing I've just called her the name I used to use before. If she notices, she doesn't say anything.

  I'm not fast. I'm not slow. This isn't fucking, or making love. It's two battered hearts meeting in the middle, finally finding solace from pain caused long ago.

  I reach between us and swipe my thumb over her most sensitive spot, rubbing small circles there. Dipping my head between us, I lap my tongue over her nipple and she moans, deep and guttural.

  Autumn's legs press into my thighs and her muscles begin to quake as I continue my rocking motion. Her breath comes in waves, one on top of the other, her chest rising and falling in faster tempo. I increase my pace, setting a fierce rhythm, and Autumn explodes beneath me. I hold her, kiss her mouth, swallow her sounds, making certain I've drained her of every last drop of her orgasm.

  She kisses me with ferocity, winding weak legs around my lower back. I try to hold off, working to bring her to another high, but I've just held my love in my arms while she went to pieces beneath me, and I can't stop it from happening.

  Forehead pressed to hers, I fill her completely one last time, my heartbeat erratic. My muscles stiffen and jerk, and this time Autumn kisses me, drinking in my pleasure.

  Sticky, sweaty, sated, I collapse on top of her with my heart beating wildly in my chest. Autumn keeps her legs wrapped around me, running her calf up and down over my backside.

  We're quiet as we lay there, our thudding hearts slowing. I press a kiss to her temple and roll off her, walking to the attached bathroom and stepping inside. I discard the condom and wash my hands, then walk back out.

  Autumn has climbed under the covers, sheet pulled up to her chin, but when she sees me, she pulls it away and climbs off the bed. She passes me, beautiful body and a smile on her face, and goes into the bathroom.

  I'm not sure what to do now, but that smile on her face was encouraging. In an effort not to appear overeager for round two, I pull on some shorts and lay on the bed, on top of the covers.

  Autumn comes out of the bathroom as naked as she walked in.

  She hops on the bed and climbs under the covers. "I sleep naked," she tells me. "When I'm not living with my mom, anyway."

  "Thank God," I say to the ceiling, shucking my shorts and joining her.

  I pull her into me, her ass pressed to my length. It stirs, and though it seems too soon, it's somehow ready to go.

  Autumn shimmies against me, laughing.

  "You better be careful," I growl lightly in her ear, taking a nibble of her earlobe. "Spooning leads to forking."

  She bucks again, pressing into me. "Care to make that statement a reality?"

  Challenge accepted.

  I roll her over so quickly she blinks in surprise. It's a look that's quickly replaced by lust.

  As fast as I can, I pull on a condom and sink into her. She hoists one leg over my shoulder.

  Okay, this time we're fucking.

  I did it.

  I was the creeper who watched Autumn sleep. I couldn't help it. Those full, pretty lips, parted in slumber. Steady, rhythmic breaths, lifting her breasts up and down. The sheet was bunched at her waist, and as much as I thought maybe I should pull it up for her, I didn't. She looked like a painting.

  I left her sleeping and went to make coffee. I'm not sure what she'll eat for breakfast, but given the groceries she has been buying for her mom, I'm thinking a veggie scramble on whole grain toast. Hold the cinnamon rolls.

  I'm buttering the toast when Autumn comes into the kitchen wearing last night’s clothes. Disappointment trickles through me. I'd hoped she'd pull on one of my shirts, and then maybe I'd take it off her after breakfast. That romper thing she's wearing is more difficult to navigate—although I did discover the quick access to her breasts.

  Maybe the romper isn't so terrible.

  "Good morning," I say, cautious, afraid that the sun has shone light on more than just the morning. Please don't let her tell me last night was a bad idea.

  "Coffee," she mumbles, looking around, bleary-eyed. Once she spots the carafe, she grins in relief and says, "Good morning."

  I grab a cup and pour, handing it to her. "When did you start drinking coffee?"

  "College," she answers, lifting the cup to her lips, inhaling quickly before taking a drink. "You?"

  "Same."

  She peers around me to the stove. "What're you making?"

  "Veggie scramble. I thought given the kale situation at your place you'd want something healthy."

  She chuckles softly. "Kale situation … getting her to eat it hasn't been so bad." Autumn pulls a chair from the island and sits down. "It's funny how we've changed roles, in a way. Me cooking for her, trying to guide her diet. Her being problematic. When I hand her a juice, she turns into a petulant teenager."

  I load the plates with our food and slide it across the island, one to Autumn and one to the spot beside her. "I think she's actually enjoying the attention."

  "Yeah." Autumn's voice grows small as she scoops a bite onto her fork.

  I know why, and it reminds me of what I said her first night back in Sedona, how I told her it was about time she came home. Even ten years later I'm still putting my foot in my mouth when I'm upset. Maybe I should work on that.

  "I shouldn't have listened to her when she told me not to come before," Autumn says between bites. "Why did I listen to her?"

  I sense the question is rhetorical, so I keep my mouth shut. I don't have an answer to give anyhow.

  We keep eating, until Autumn scrapes the tines of her fork across her plate and looks at me. "Last night…" A blaze of pink blooms on her cheeks.

  My muscles clench, readying myself for the words was a mistake to come from those delicious lips.

  "…was amazing," she finishes.

  My entire body melts like a snowman in a hot yoga class into the chair. "Yeah?"

  "Oh yeah."

  I fist pump close to my chest in celebration. An incredibly dorky thing to do, yes, but I'm too relieved to care. Autumn smiles.

  "Are you almost done with breakfast?" Her eyes dart back to my bedroom.

  I stand quickly, the legs of my chair making protesting noises against the floor. Grabbing the arm of her chair, I yank it, causing it to rotate toward me. She laughs as I lean in, lifting her from the seat and over my shoulder in a fireman's carry.

  I’m just about to take her to the bedroom but the doorbell ringing stops me. My stomach sinks.

  There’s no one else who drops by this early without calling…

  Naomi.

  “Expecting anyone?” Autumn slides down my chest, plants her feet on the floor, and looks up at me.

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

  I’m so fucked. I can’t breathe. I don’t know what to say. The doorbell rings again and I’m standing there frozen like an idiot.

  “Owen?” Naomi’s voice comes through the door and Autumn’s eyes go from sexy sultry to axe murderer in two seconds flat.

  I gulp. “So … I had a casual thing with this doctor friend, but I haven’t touched her since you got home,” I ramble, trying to explain the situation.

  Autumn looks so angry, I swear she’s going to turn into the Hulk. “Okay … should I go?”

  My head reels back in sho
ck. “No! Are you crazy? No. I’ll tell her what’s up.”

  I hurry to the door, praying my hard-on goes away in the next eight seconds before I open the door and tell Naomi I’ve moved on.

  I feel like such an asshole right now. Yanking the door wide, I see Naomi in her doctor scrubs, looking tired but smiling wide now that I’ve answered.

  “Hey, I have an hour to burn if you’re up for it.” Her voice drops three octaves and her fingers reach out to stroke my chest.

  Autumn clears her throat behind me and Naomi stills.

  Oh shit.

  Can I just die of a heart attack and not have to deal with this? As a physician, you would think I could deal with conflict and stress well, but apparently it doesn’t extend past hospital walls. I hate this stuff.

  “Naomi … can we talk?” I step outside and she backs up, her face falling when she sees Autumn behind me.

  I leave the door open a few inches as Naomi steps out onto the front porch. She hugs her chest and tries to look cool, but I can see the hurt all over her face.

  “I should have called first.”

  I run my hands through my hair and try to think of what will hurt the least. Maybe just the truth.

  “That woman in there … is my high school sweetheart. She came back home and … I didn’t expect it to happen.”

  Her body relaxes a little when she hears that I haven’t just hooked up with some random chick. “So … is she moving back to town?”

  I realize she’s asking me if she and I can continue our hook-up once Autumn leaves.

  “Yeah…” I hedge. “She lives here for now and I’d like to see if she and I can work things out.”

  Her unemotional doctor’s mask slips down over her face. The hurt leaves her eyes and is replaced with a cold, stern glare. “Okay, well, this was … fun. I’ll see you around, Owen.” Spinning on her heel, she walks to her car and I cringe at the thought of seeing her at work now.

  “I’m sorry!” I yell after her, unsure if I hurt her or not.

  She just waves, jumps in her car and peels out, the tires sending a screech through the entire neighborhood.

  Yep. I hurt her.

  When I spin back around, I catch a glimpse of Autumn’s brown hair dashing away from the door.

  She heard everything.

  I step inside and prepare for a fight. Fifteen-year-old Autumn was incredibly jealous, and I expect nothing less now. I just hope I haven’t ruined things.

  The second I step inside, she’s standing there in my entryway awkwardly.

  “Shit, Autumn, I’m so sorry that just happened. I … well, she and I aren’t serious. We had … an arrangement, if you know what I mean. But I just ended it and—”

  She steps forward and cuts my words off with a kiss. “It’s cool. I heard everything,” she says as she pulls away.

  I’m shocked. Legit floored that she didn’t just smack me and walk out. “Really?”

  She nods calmly. “I had a little friend-with-benefits in New York as well. No worries.”

  Just like that, jealously flushes through my veins. “I’ll kill him,” I say loudly, and only kind of joking. A peal of laughter leaves her beautiful mouth.

  “I believe we were busy before we got interrupted?” Her gaze is hooded, and just like that her fuck buddy and mine are gone from my mind. Reaching out, I lift her into my arms and she straddles my waist.

  I’m just glad Autumn didn’t marry anyone. I walk only a few feet, just around the side of the kitchen island, and I set her down on top of it. "The second I saw this island, I thought about having sex on it."

  Autumn throws her head back, laughing, her long hair brushing the cool granite. "Don't let me stand in the way of making your dreams a reality." She pulls down the straps of that complicated piece of clothing she wears, shifting her hips and removing it completely. She leans back on her forearms, her legs splaying open. She is so familiar, her dips and her curves, her center, but she is also new to me, this person she has become while we were apart.

  I want to discover every inch of her.

  And, with the sunshine streaming in, illuminating us both in ways that make it impossible to hide, I do.

  Chapter 16

  Autumn

  "Thank you for driving me home. I know you're late for work," I tell Owen as he pulls his car into my driveway.

  Owen waves away my words with his hand. "I called and told a nurse I'm running behind, and she told me my nine o'clock already called and said the same." He grins impishly. "She said there must be traffic in town, and I let her think that."

  I rest an elbow on the console and prop my chin on my hand.

  Owen brushes his fingers across the back of my palm and thoughts of last night flood my mind. And this morning. We'd always been compatible in the physical department, but this was on a whole new level. Everything was better, heightened by being unafraid, certain of what we were doing and how to do it. And even though it was beyond enjoyable, I appreciate what it was when we were teenagers. So sweet, so innocent. Kids stepping into adulthood.

  Aside from his friend-with-benefits dropping by this morning, it was an incredible night with Owen. I was mad about her at first, but then I realized with what I had with Matt, I didn’t really have room to talk. After hearing him completely cut things off with her in order to see where he and I could go, I was totally on board.

  Last night was purely adult. And this morning was … just wow. Owen had dipped his head between my legs, staying there until my back arched off the cool granite beneath me and my vision blurred.

  That was new. Something we hadn't done before…

  "What are you thinking about?" Owen asks, and when he sees the flame that sweeps across my face, he smiles proudly. He leans in, his breath tickling my ear. "You better believe I will be thinking about that today," he says in a low voice.

  I turn my head, my lips dusting over his. "Do you want to come over for dinner tonight?"

  He nods, his lips rubbing up and down mine. "And I'll see you at the hospital in a few hours."

  What?

  Oh. Chemo day. I hadn't forgotten. It had just been misplaced in my brain.

  "Right." I sit back. Owen kisses the knuckle on my middle finger, then releases me. I grab my purse and the door handle at the same time. "I'll see you soon."

  As I open the door and put one foot out, Owen says, "Last night meant something to me. Is that okay?"

  I freeze, turning back and looking into his eyes. Apprehension pools there, but it's not alone. I see hope in there, too. "It meant something to me too, Owen."

  It’s scary and exciting, but true. This man is capable of bringing me untold joy and also dropping a bomb on my heart and obliterating it.

  We smile at each other across the confine of the car, then I climb out and shut the door, waving at him as I walk to my front door.

  The key turns the lock and I open the door quietly. My mom probably isn't still sleeping, but if I'm lucky I can sneak to my room undetected and change, then come out as if I came home late last night and am just now getting up.

  As I tiptoe down the hallway, I’m quiet as a church mouse. Just before I reach my bedroom, I smell something out of place in the house. Men's cologne, maybe? Or aftershave? Something manly. I tuck my chin, smelling the fabric at my shoulder. It definitely smells like Owen, which makes me smile. I reach my bedroom door and hurry in, taking great pains to let it softly fall into the doorframe. Moving quickly, I change my clothes, then duck across the hall into the bathroom to wash my face. When I emerge, I look like everyday Autumn, not Autumn who had mind-blowing, reality-altering sex three times in the past twelve hours—with her high school sweetheart—who she is supposed to hate … but no longer does…

  Is it time to call my therapist? Or maybe just Livvie? I need a reality check to make sure I’m not going insane.

  I find my mom out back, sitting in a chair with a book open on her lap. Birds chirp, hopping from branch to branch of the nearby tree.
<
br />   "Hey, Mom." I walk toward her. She looks up at me, shielding her eyes from the sun.

  "Good morning, hon. You must've come in late."

  I sink down into the chair next to hers. "Yep."

  So late. Like, five minutes ago.

  She closes the book and sets it on the table bedside her. "Don't keep me in suspense. How was your date?"

  I think back to Tlaquepaque … El Rincon … walking around, eating ice cream. "It was pretty great. Incredible, actually."

  A pleased, knowing smile pulls up the corners of my mom's mouth.

  "He has never stopped loving you, Autumn."

  I fidget with the frayed hem of the jean shorts I changed into. "I hurt him, Mom."

  "You were hurting too, remember?"

  "Yeah." It doesn't feel the same though. Pain you cause yourself cuts differently than pain you experience at the hands of someone else.

  "I think you're being given a second chance. You can do what you never did before: let one another heal the wound." She folds her hands in her lap.

  "When did you get so wise?"

  She winks. "You've already asked me that question.”

  “I know.” I shrug. “I guess I’ll just wait for the day when I’m wise like you.”

  “You’re wiser than you think. And braver too.” Mom reaches out and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. "And I love you."

  A little piece inside me cracks at her words. "I love you too, Mom."

  She nudges a dry leaf under the table with her foot. "Can you make me breakfast? You slept in and I don't know how to use the juicer."

  I stare at her. "For real? You're asking for juice?"

  "Don't make a thing of it," she tells me, squinting at me.

  I stand. "Yes, I will make you juice. And then we'll get ready for chemo, okay?"

  Mom sits back in her chair, closing her eyes and letting the sun drench her face in light. "Mmm hmm," she agrees.

  I go inside and whip up a lean, mean, and green juice for the both of us. Just before I step outside with a drink in each hand, I notice a man's two-tone gold watch peeking from behind a basket on the counter.

  I walk outside, hand her the drink, and ask about the watch.