The Easy Part of Impossible

by Sarah Tomp

  She started the kiss. But then he kissed her, too. It was both of them. Together. Ria kissing Cotton and Cotton kissing Ria. Not one thing, still two. Each of them moving and shifting and breathing, exploring the other.

  She wasn’t sure how he could knock her over and hold her up at the same time, but he did. In his hands, she felt like something amazing.

  So what if he was easily amazed. She was too.

  Thirty-Three

  Ria still wasn’t ready to see Maggie. Or Sean. She’d been purposefully late to school, then dawdled everywhere, hoping to stay invisible. It wasn’t hard to avoid them. They had so little in common now. And yet, she couldn’t relax, wondering if they’d come face-to-face. It wasn’t until she was in the parking lot with Cotton that she finally melted with the relief of being seen. She felt a warm flutter, thinking about all their many kisses. It was probably good that Jelly had burst into the garage, searching for her roller skates, otherwise they might never have come up for air.

  Now, inside her car, she waited, but he didn’t try to kiss her.

  “I made you a map,” she said.

  “A map? You made me a map?”

  “It’s simple. Not like yours. But yeah.” She grabbed it from the backseat and handed it to him.

  She loved the careful way he unrolled it, bit by bit, inch by inch. He spread it across his lap, gently curling the ends back so the paper would stay open. His finger traced the lines and shapes and colors she’d made for him.

  “We’ve been so many places together.”

  She nodded, even though he had his eyes on the map, not her. She watched his face, serious and thoughtful, shift and react.

  “What’s this?” He pointed to a swirl she’d marked beyond the dry gym, outside of town, past the industrial area, but not so far as the Travis Center.

  That was her biggest surprise. If she was right.

  “I think that’s the cave that might connect with ours.”

  When he turned to her, his gaze felt like he was peeking into her mind. And liked what he saw.

  “Let’s go find it.” He buckled his seat belt.

  She drove, with Cotton giving directions, using a combination of her map and his GPS to guide her to the spot she’d marked on the map.

  When they got there, it looked like someone’s yard, surrounding a small white house, with rose bushes growing by the door. Nice. Ordinary. Except for the barbed-wire fence surrounding it. Metal signs had been nailed into the large wooden posts between the lengths of wire: KEEP OUT. NO TRESPASSING.

  “Too bad. It’s on private property.”

  “Let’s get out and look around.” She buzzed with the maybe of a new cave.

  “We are not allowed here. There is barbed wire.”

  “We’ll park in that parking lot we passed,” she said, turning the car around. “We can go for a walk—outside the barbed wire—and see what we see. They’ll never know we’re here.”

  Even though he looked reluctant, she pulled into an empty parking lot. She drove behind a large cement building and parked. He had his head down, and his fingers fidgeted with the seam of his jeans.

  “We can simply go for a walk.”

  “We can simply go for a walk,” he echoed her words.

  Ria tried to read his quiet as he walked beside her along the road. She wasn’t sure if it was worry or concentration as he scanned both sides of the road. Maybe he was working out the map of it in his head. She imagined his brain taking in each rise and fall of the ground, absorbing the spot where the trees faded into shrubs. At least his shoulders were back now, his head up, eyes wide and bright. It was good to be moving.

  When the fence drifted away from the asphalt, he followed her through the thick and overgrown grass. It felt isolated. It was hard to remember—or even believe—that the road was a short fifteen-minute walk away.

  The barbed-wire fence jutted up against a wall built of stones and mortar. She ran her hands along the rough of it. It was old and crumbling, but she loved the way it felt somewhere between natural and made.

  She turned to ask Cotton about it and found him staring at her. Damn. He hadn’t even touched her, but still her body quivered and tingled. She felt melted and buzzed and tired and wired, all at the same time. Logic not required. She licked her lips with anticipation, waiting for his kiss.

  He looked away. Walked along the line of the wall.

  Ria swallowed. Forced her inner core to return to normal temperature. Misread. She looked up, eyeing the rocks.

  She scrambled up with the rocks and mortar serving as a precarious ladder. At the top, she sat on the damp mossy ledge with her legs dangling.

  “Come down. It’s still their fence. Even if it’s not barbed wire.”

  “Why would they mind us being here? What are they hiding?” She kicked her feet against the rocks.

  “Fences are for protection. They want to keep their family safe.”

  “We won’t hurt anything. Besides, once we’re in the cave, that’s a new place. That’s not what they own.”

  “They would disagree. If a cave entrance is on your property, then it’s yours.”

  “But how far in? At some point it’s not their land anymore.” She wasn’t sure why she was arguing the point. It’s not like she had any reason to doubt he was right. Except it didn’t seem like a cave should be owned. “What if the cave goes on for miles and miles? Where do you draw the line?”

  “There are rules. Property lines.”

  “Come on, Cotton. Let’s take a quick peek.”

  “Squid.”

  Ria stopped, mid-argument. She needed to change the focus. “You know what would be amazing?” She leaned forward, enjoying the dizzying feel of looking down. “Building a house around the cave. So it’s like a room. You could even put a door on it.”

  “It might keep the house cool as well. It would add another level of playing Dungeons and Dragons. I could be the ultimate geek.”

  She laughed, happy he was playing along.

  “Perhaps the rocks mark the end of private property,” said Cotton. “We could check the county development maps for property lines.”

  “Or we could climb over and have a quick look to see if we find a cave. Maybe this isn’t even the right place.”

  “No. This is right. We’re within the correct coordinates.”

  Even though he was firm in refusing to cross the line, he seemed sure she’d gotten it right. That was almost as good as seeing it with her own eyes. She turned at the waist, maneuvered herself down. Now she could feel the moist earth ground into the front of her shirt and the seat of her pants.

  “You should have worn your caving clothes,” said Cotton. “You’re muddened.”

  They were quiet on their walk back. She wanted to take his hand, too much to try, in case he pulled away. She didn’t think hand-holding was something he liked. Especially since he hadn’t even kissed her once all day. If she’d come here with Sean, her lips would be raw from making out by now. They might not have ever gotten out of the car. She didn’t want to be with Sean, but she wouldn’t have minded Cotton pressing her up against that stone wall, either.

  She was relieved to see the large cement building in the distance as they made their way back to where they’d started.

  Except, maybe not. Her car wasn’t where she’d parked it.

  She double-checked the parking lot. Same gray wall, same green dumpsters. And a sign—one that she must have missed—stating CUSTOMER PARKING ONLY. VIOLATORS WILL BE TOWED.

  Thirty-Four

  The parking lot was two cars and one pickup truck away from completely empty. Her car was definitely gone.

  “Where is it? Where is your car? You parked it right here. I don’t understand.”

  It wasn’t fair how utterly bewildered Cotton looked. He was the smart one. She couldn’t help but think he should have noticed the No Parking sign in the first place.

  He paced back and forth along the fence line. His hand flapped and flu
ttered against his thigh. He was upset. More than upset. Flustered. Agitated. Approaching wiggy.

  Ria felt pretty close to wiggy herself. No matter what this place was, it seemed completely unreasonable that they’d towed her car. The longer they stood in the spot where it should be, the more pissed she felt. It would take a while, but she could run home from here. Except Cotton couldn’t.

  They needed to call someone, but they’d left their phones in the car. Along with her money, ID, first-aid kit, maps—all the things her parents wanted her to have, just in case. They hadn’t anticipated the just-in-case being losing her entire car.

  She moved around the corner of the building to the front. Its dark windows were dressed up with iron bars. Above the door, gigantic curly pink and purple letters named it Big Top. Female silhouettes posed in acrobatic moves. Their bodies were wrapped in silver ribbon squiggles that continued along the building. It was circus-like. Sort of.

  “Let’s go inside. They have to let us use their phone.” She looked to Cotton for some kind of confirmation of—or warning against—her plan. When he didn’t reply, she headed to the darkened door and peered through the tinted glass. She couldn’t see anyone, but when she pulled, the door opened.

  Inside, the Big Top glowed with an eerie purple light. As her eyes adjusted, she took in a large carpeted room with silver poles positioned throughout. Some poles had animals—with mouths wide open—at the base. It was like they’d run away from a merry-go-round, only they hadn’t traveled far. Around each pole was a patch of wooden flooring. Some areas were elevated like mini stages.

  “What kind of circus is this?”

  Cotton looked dazed. Frozen, like the animals trapped on their poles.

  “You kids lost?”

  “Did you tow my car?” She dragged Cotton to the man behind the counter.

  “No.”

  “Are you sure? It was parked around the corner, behind the building. Now it’s gone.”

  “I didn’t tow it. But our service did. The lot is only for customers.”

  She looked around the empty space. “I can see why you’re worried about filling up the lot. Sorry if I took someone’s spot.”

  “Company policy.”

  What a jerk. “How do I get it back?”

  “Call this number. You’ll have to pick it up at the yard.” He reached under the counter and pulled out a card.

  “Can’t you tell them to bring it back? Please? My parents are going to kill me.”

  “Sorry, sweetheart. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.” He stared at Cotton. “Is he drunk? You gotta get him out of here.”

  “No, he’s not drunk. He’s . . .” Ria turned to Cotton, trying to see him through the bartender’s eyes. Sitting on a purple stool, he had his head folded over his lap and was muttering something to himself. His hair still managed to look unruly even after the haircut. “Can we get some water?”

  The man frowned but filled two glasses and slid them across the counter. He watched as she forced one into Cotton’s hand.

  “Tell you what,” the man said. “I’ll give ’em a call and see if we can save you the impound fees. You’ll still have to pay for the tow, but maybe they won’t put it in the lot.”

  As he moved down the bar, with the phone against his ear, she turned to Cotton. “How are we with time? How much longer until your mother starts to worry?”

  “Seventy-two minutes.”

  She sighed with relief. That should be enough time to figure something out.

  “She doesn’t watch the time like I do.” Cotton took a gulp of water. “I worry more. I want someone to notice if I’m gone.”

  “They’ll definitely notice. I’ll notice, too.”

  “You know what someone said after Esther disappeared?”

  “What?” She tried to adjust to this new place he was taking her.

  “‘Well, at least you have all these other children.’”

  Damn.

  “They were wrong. People are wrong all the time.” She leaned into him, letting her weight speak for her. He leaned on her in reply.

  “When someone goes missing, they always suspect the family. That’s the first guess. That someone in the family hurt her.”

  “But that’s so awful. And unfair.”

  “It’s based on factual data. Proven situations. Kidnappings, abuse. We are most likely to be hurt by someone we trust.”

  He wasn’t meeting her eyes, but she couldn’t look away from his hard to read, expressionless face.

  “All right,” the bartender said, interrupting. “As long as you get there today, you won’t have to pay the extra fees.”

  She had no idea how she was going to make that happen, but one step at a time. “Can I use your phone?”

  “That’s it? No thank you?”

  “Seriously? You want me to thank you for towing my car? Even if you did it for free, it’s not a great deal.”

  He laughed. “Sweetheart, when you get a little older, let me know if you want a job. I think you’d hold your own around here.” He handed the phone to her, the long curly cord easily reaching from the wall behind the bar. “What’s the number?”

  Neither of her parents answered. There was no point leaving a message since they couldn’t call her back. She couldn’t call Cotton’s parents. He didn’t like talking on the phone and she wouldn’t be able to explain. She wasn’t talking to Maggie, and no way would she call Sean for a ride.

  There was only one other number she knew by heart.

  Thirty-Five

  Outside, the sun seemed unbearably bright. As she held her hand to shield her eyes, she had a panicky moment of feeling lost. But then Cotton was beside her. They sat on the curb to wait.

  The red SUV pulled into the parking lot, driving too fast and taking the corner too short. Benny had always been a terrible driver. He was eternally reckless, completely impatient. He hopped out of the car and ran his eyes up, down, and around the situation.

  “Thanks for coming,” Ria said, getting up. “My parents didn’t answer. I didn’t know who else to call.”

  Cotton stood too, then moved between her and Benny.

  “Nice to meet you,” said Benny, holding out his hand.

  “We’ve met before.” Cotton scowled and tucked his hand behind him.

  Benny stared at Cotton for a minute before he gave up and put away his hand. He opened the back door and gestured for Cotton to get in. Ria headed toward the passenger door.

  “You’re not getting in my car wearing those filthy clothes.”

  She eyed Benny, waiting for the punch line. He’d always been fussy and fastidious. He insisted the team wear matching uniforms from suits to warm-ups at meets. Their bags at the pool had to be neatly lined up against the fence. He liked everything orderly and clean. But.

  “I mean it. You’re not getting whatever is all over you in this car. You can either take them off or walk back to town.”

  Benny had seen her body in her tight, practically skin, swimsuits an infinite number of times. Minutes multiplied by hours by days, weeks, months, years. He’d watched her grow from skinny little kid to awkward preteen, on to where she filled out a bikini in all the right spots. The shape of her body had always been irrelevant. It was the thing that took her from the board into the air and water. But that was before. Her body wasn’t only a tool for diving anymore.

  And it was hers.

  She headed inside the bar again, straight for the bathroom. She took off her shirt and pants, turning them inside out. The mud, some of it dried and some still damp, rubbed against her skin as she returned to the parking lot.

  Without acknowledging the smirk on his face, she went around to the passenger door and got in. She looked back at Cotton, whose cheeks had turned pink. She wondered what they’d talked about.

  “Funny place to start getting modest.” Benny eyed her, looking amused, then turned the key and pulled out of the parking lot, thumping over the curb.

  “He means because we were in
a strip club,” said Cotton.

  “A what?” She looked back and forth between them. Benny busted up laughing.

  She frowned, mostly to hide the fact she’d missed his laugh and wanted to hear it again.

  “It looks like a merry-go-round in there, with all these animals. You mean those poles are for . . .” She trailed off, trying to imagine it. “That guy said I could work there.”

  She’d called Benny because she knew his phone number. And she knew, even after everything else, she could count on him to show up. She hadn’t thought about the ride home, what that might look like. She never would have guessed she’d feel like the odd man out.

  At the Talley home, Cotton opened the door and got out without saying goodbye. She stepped outside, keeping one hand on the door. “Sorry about this hassle. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “You’re staying with him?” His hand tapped his leg and he looked like he’d eaten something sour.

  “I need to get home. I have to figure out how to get my car.”

  He stared at her, not smiling, not heading toward his house.

  “You knew it was a strip club, Cotton? And you didn’t tell me?”

  “Benny told me. It felt inappropriate to discuss further.”

  “Yeah,” she agreed. Then, because she knew he was still unhappy, she added, “I’ll be fine,” then got back inside before he could change her mind.

  Benny pulled onto the road. “Good to see you finally ditched the pretty-boy lifeguard. I guess I had your type wrong. I didn’t know you’d go for . . .”

  “Don’t.” She’d never forgive him for saying anything bad about Cotton.

  “I was about to say your taste has improved. That boy is not a pushover. He has spirit. Like you.”

  She stared out the window so he wouldn’t see her smile.

  “I owe you an apology, Ria. I didn’t know you could do it.”

  “Do what?” she asked, feeling wary, knowing she was caught in a balancing act where she wasn’t sure which way was down.

  “Quit. I never thought you could actually do it.”

  There was nothing to say. Not when he was still talking.