by Carol Voss
“In the display tent.” Clyde pointed.
“Thanks, catch you later.” Tony strode across the rough field, returning hiyas and how-you-doings on the way. He knew some of the people. Others just seemed to assume he belonged there.
The display tent held lines of booths and tons of people, their voices rising and falling in a jumble of neighborliness. Posters and signs advertised everything from puppies to crafts and baked goods and produce. And of course, plants and flowers.
Bright yellow signs covered with eight-by-tens of landscapes and flowers announced ’Scapes by Design and Magnolia’s Blossoms. Directly beneath the signs, he spotted copper curls bobbing in conversation.
People and commotion disappeared as he walked toward her, intent on covering the ground between them.
She wore a green dress that usually gave her brown eyes pizazz, but today, her eyes were rimmed with red as if she hadn’t slept last night. Or had been crying. Looked like whatever was wrong last night was still bothering her.
She raised her hand in greeting. “Hi,” she said.
“Hi, yourself.”
“How’s work on your grandmother’s Victorian coming along, Tony?”
Seemed most of Noah’s Crossing knew what he was doing. He turned to the tall, lean man in jeans and blue plaid shirt Maggie had been talking to. Good old Jim, Nonna’s physical therapist and Maggie’s trusty adviser on all things medical. “The work is moving slower than I’d like.”
“Stella sure is fired up to get home,” Jim said.
“Sure is.” About run out of conversation, Tony glanced at Maggie.
She bit her lip, worry in her eyes.
Tony frowned, anxious for Jim to leave so he could ask Maggie what was wrong.
Jim cleared his throat. “I guess I’d better pay Della for that chocolate pie she put my name on. See you.”
“Yeah.” Tony gave the guy a parting glance.
Maggie laid her hand on Jim’s arm. “Thank you for stopping by.”
“Sure.” Jim walked slowly away, a resigned look on his face.
Tony almost felt sorry for the guy. Loving Maggie was a hard thing to live with. He fought the urge to haul her into his arms to prove to Jim and everybody else she belonged to him. Instead, he met her eyes. “You feeling okay?” he asked.
Her eyes flinched. She swallowed as if she had something she wanted to tell him.
“Morning, Maggie.”
“Morning, Sheriff,” she said.
Great. Good old Sheriff Bunker. Another one of his favorite people. If he was ever going to find out what Maggie was worrying about, he was going to have to get her away from all these interruptions.
“Good to see you, Tony,” Bunker said.
Tony frowned. Had he heard right?
“I hear you’re doing right by your grandmother.” The sheriff stuck out his hand.
Tony stared at it, considered shaking it, decided to be honest instead. “I think you owe me an apology for accusing me of assaulting and robbing Doc Tilbert ten years ago.”
Lowering his hand, Bunker squinted. “I never apologize for doing my job.”
Tony should have known the man wouldn’t be able to wrap his small mind around an apology.
“Planning to stay long?” Bunker asked.
“As long as I need to.”
“I’ll probably see you around then.” The sheriff walked away.
Tony glared after him.
Maggie touched his hand. “He doesn’t just enforce the law, Tony. He thinks he is the law. Everybody knows it.”
“Then why do people keep electing him sheriff?”
“They credit him with the fact that we have very little crime.”
“Maybe he is good for something.” Not that he’d ever like the man. But as long as he was being honest, if Sheriff Bunker’s accusation hadn’t given him the push to leave town years ago, wouldn’t he have found something else?
“You should have seen the look on your face when he wanted to shake your hand.”
“You could have knocked me over with a feather.” He clasped her hand, her skin warm and smooth. “Can we get out of here? I’m starving.”
“Just a minute.” Turning on her heel, she walked over to her display to say something to a young woman, then came back to him and slipped her arm through his. “Let’s go get some breakfast.”
They began pushing through the crowd toward the smell of food. He loved feeling her at his side, loved the rush of adrenaline being near her gave him. But something was off, and he needed to find out what it was. “Leave with me after we eat. We’ll take the day off together.”
“The benefit will last a couple more hours, and then I need to help clean up. I’ll meet you at home then. Actually, I…I need to talk to you.” She looked very serious.
He nodded. “Good.” She wasn’t having second thoughts about that kiss last night, was she? Was that what was bothering her? He hoped not. He didn’t want to talk about that kiss. He wanted to repeat it. “I’ll pack a picnic to take to the lake. Let’s just swim and soak up the sun this afternoon.”
She gave him a little frown. “We’ll see how we feel after we talk, okay?”
That comment did nothing to ease his mind.
“Tony, just the guy I want to see.”
Dragging his gaze from Maggie’s frown, he turned to face Harold Phillips.
“Did you find anybody to haul those roof trusses?” Harold asked.
“Not yet. You anxious to get them off your place?”
“It’s not that.” Harold hitched up his jeans. “Me and my sons will bring them over when you need them. Just give me a call.”
“Oh?” When Tony bought the trusses, Harold had stipulated that Tony was responsible for delivery. “How much will it cost me?”
“Delivery’s included.”
Surprised, Tony decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. “I appreciate it.”
“I’ve got a stack of pretty good lumber taking up space in my machine shed, too. If you can use it, I’ll bring it along.”
“How much do you need for it?”
Harold shook his head. “It’s not for sale. Neither is my labor. My sons’ either. I figure you’re going to need some able bodies to help you get those trusses in place.”
At a total loss for words, Tony stared at the man. “Why are you doing all this?”
“Clyde just told me you need those trusses for Stella Stefano’s house. She fed our family for weeks when a tornado took our farm last year. I’d appreciate it if you’d let us help.”
So Harold wanted to repay Nonna for her help when he and his family had needed it. Feeling humbled and very grateful, Tony thrust his hand to pump Harold’s. “I sure could use it.”
“I’ll spread the word. Good people are always glad to help out a neighbor when they can. That’s how things work around here.” Harold slapped him on the back and walked away.
Tony stared after him in amazement. “What just happened?”
“Only being neighborly.” Maggie gave him a pinched little smile.
“Tony…”
He turned to see Clyde Billings again.
“I’ve been thinking…I met a young guy the other day who moved here from Chicago. He’s trying to build a house for him and his daughter on Rainbow Lake. Trouble is, he’s a newspaperman. Owns the Courier. And I get the idea he doesn’t know much about building. I was wondering…you think you could find the time to talk to him, maybe give him some pointers?”
Tony squinted. Apparently, Clyde figured Tony knew what he was doing. He liked that the man wasn’t just handing out charity, but giving him an opportunity to help someone else, to pay Clyde’s help forward. �
�Sure. I’d be happy to help. I’ll stop out there.”
“Good.” Clyde gave him a thump on the shoulder. “His name is Ben Cooper.” With a nod to Maggie, he walked away.
“If you keep impressing everybody around here, they’re going to make you stay in Noah’s Crossing,” Maggie said.
He reached for some variation of his usual quip about the town. Over my dead body. A fate worse than death. But he couldn’t get the words past his lips.
Somehow, he didn’t feel like the same man he’d been when he’d thought those things. He was so tired of being that man. So tired of going it alone.
Maggie gave him a questioning look. “Don’t look so worried. I’m teasing.”
He nodded. But he didn’t much feel like teasing back.
He loved her with his whole heart. She had helped him make peace with the confusion and anger that had weighed him down. Had given him a reason to anticipate each new day, had helped him realize how satisfied he could be working with his hands again. She’d made him feel loved. And freed him to love her.
He had been asking himself the wrong question. He’d been asking himself if he could stay. The real question was how could he leave? “You know, for the first time in my life, staying in Noah’s Crossing with you is beginning to look like it could be really good.”
Maggie’s smile went out. She looked…stunned. “Teasing me about staying is not something you can do, Tony.”
He held her gaze. “I’ve never been more serious.”
Frowning, she shook her head.
Not even close to the reaction he’d been going for.
* * *
Maggie’s entire system shifted into overdrive, her mind flying in a hundred directions at the same time. Tony really said he was considering staying in Noah’s Crossing? With her?
But of course he wouldn’t. Would he?
But there he was, smiling down at her, waiting for her to respond in a sane, rational manner. Impossible.
Dear God, I love him. But she’d never dared dream he’d consider staying here with her. Never dreamed there was any hope they could build a long-term relationship. She couldn’t go on being dishonest one more minute. She had to tell him about the baby right now.
She glanced around. She couldn’t tell him in the middle of all these people. They needed someplace private where nobody would interrupt them. Grasping his hand, she strode out of the tent with him in tow. “We need to talk.”
“My bike is that way.”
She gave her head a shake and kept walking.
“Where are we going?”
“To that little woods ahead. I have something very important I need to tell you.”
Tony walked beside her, his head down. “You don’t want me to stay?”
“You know better than that. But…maybe you won’t want to.”
He pulled her around to face him. “Why wouldn’t I want to?”
She glanced back to the tents. “We’re almost there, Tony.”
He silently let her lead him.
Panic threatened to overwhelm her. She’d prayed most of the night, and she still didn’t know how to tell him. Please give me the words. Please help him understand. Please keep him from blaming himself. Please let him blame me instead of himself.
Finally, the smell of cool, damp earth enveloped them, and trees shaded them from the sun and from curious eyes. Normally a place of respite, but not today. Today, the glen held an ominous, foreboding quality.
Gathering her strength, Maggie turned to Tony. She looked into his trusting face and pushed on. “When you went away…I didn’t know how to find you. And I had something very important you needed to hear.”
His eyes winced as if anticipating the pain her words would inflict. “Tell me.”
Feeling pain, she realized she was twisting her necklace around her fingers so tightly that she was cutting off her circulation. Breathing in, breathing out, she slowly unwound the chain. When the locket was free, she grasped it and snapped it open. With shaking fingers, she held it up for Tony to see. “This baby isn’t me, Tony.”
He looked at the tiny picture, then frowned at her, confusion in his eyes. “Who is it?”
Her heart pounded so hard she had trouble breathing. “This is the only picture I have—” a sob betrayed her “—of our beautiful baby girl.”
Chapter Sixteen
The tiny picture wavered before Tony’s eyes. He tried to take a breath, but his lungs seemed to have shut down.
He looked at Maggie. All he saw was the torture in her tear-filled eyes. All he heard was the pain in her voice.
He struggled to wrap his mind around her words. Our beautiful baby girl.
Oh, God. Please. No. Maggie had been only fifteen. Fifteen. He couldn’t find words. He pulled her into his arms.
She slipped her arms around his waist and clung to him.
“You were just a kid.”
“Oh, Tony…” Sobs shook her body.
He held on to her, wanting to absorb her pain. But he felt numb. He wanted to deny her words. Pretend she hadn’t said them. That they weren’t real.
Our beautiful baby girl.
She’d said the words, all right. He squeezed his eyes closed, but he couldn’t stop his tears from leaking through. Oh, God. What have I done? “I’m so sorry, Maggie.”
His words sounded lame. Pathetic, really. What good were words?
“I had to give her away,” she whispered.
Pressing his forehead to hers, he nodded dumbly, a wave of pain rendering him speechless. Where was he when she’d needed him so desperately?
“That’s why I was living with Mom’s aunt in Eau Claire when my parents were killed.”
It made no sense. “Why?”
“To attend classes with other pregnant girls. They gave us counseling to help us decide whether to keep our babies or to give them up for adoption.”
His whole body ached with a bone-deep weariness. But she was only fifteen, he wanted to scream until somebody heard him. She must have been scared out of her mind. Why would her parents send her to a relative?
She dragged a breath. “I would never have given her away if there was any way to keep her. You have to believe that.”
“I do, Maggie.” She was explaining? She was concerned about his feelings? He shook his head. “But you were fifteen years old. How could you take care of a baby?”
“She was our baby, Tony. I would have done anything.”
He stroked her hair. She would have done anything, he had no doubt.
“And my parents finally agreed they’d help me raise her. But…they were on their way to be with me when—”
“Don’t.” He’d thought he’d heard the worst of it, but he hadn’t. He gripped her closer, needing to hold on to her. “I’m so sorry.”
Her sob tore his heart. “The nurse let me hold her for a few minutes. She was so tiny…so amazing.” Another sob. “She had black hair just like yours.”
A chill shook him. They had a little girl somewhere in the world. Dear God, please take care of her for us. He kissed Maggie’s hair. “Do you know where she is?”
“No. I tried to find out, but I’d signed papers agreeing her records would be sealed until she’s eighteen. I don’t know if she’s happy or well cared for or—” Her voice broke.
He stroked her shoulders. He didn’t know what to do to comfort her. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t have failed her more completely if he’d tried.
“I didn’t tell anybody. Not even Jessie or Dixie. I just couldn’t talk about her.”
“Does Nonna know?”
She nodded. “My parents’ lawyer asked her about my relatives. Stella knew I had nobody and i
nsisted she go with him to bring me home.”
“Thank God for Nonna.” He hadn’t even begun to understand how much he owed her. She’d taken care of him as a child. And she’d taken care of Maggie when he’d failed to do it. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I—” She shook her head. “Five years went by before we knew where you were. There was nothing you could do by then. Nothing anybody could do.”
“Why didn’t you tell me when I came home? Why didn’t Nonna tell me?”
“She left it up to me. But you planned to stay only a few days, and I didn’t want to cause you pain. I couldn’t give you a reason to leave and never come back.”
Is that would he would have done?
She swiped her tears from her cheeks. “I always found some reason not to tell you. But last night, I was trying to teach Hannah to tell the truth when I wasn’t being honest with you. I couldn’t stand myself. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about later today. But when you said you were thinking about staying…I had to tell you now.”
His limbs felt heavy, lifeless. His chest ached as if an elephant herd was trampling it. He’d been worried she didn’t need him? She’d needed him as much as one human being could need another. And he hadn’t been there for her. “How can you find it in your heart to forgive me?”
“God helped me,” she said quietly.
Tony touched her soft cheek, doing his best to memorize every detail of her face. He loved her. And he wanted to be with her. But he’d hurt her beyond imagining. Would being together only cause them both more pain?
Maggie looked up at him, her eyes swollen with tears. “I’m sorry for hurting you,” she said simply.
He brushed his fingers over his moist eyes and met her gaze. The pain was too fresh, too raw to deny her words. If he did, she’d know he wasn’t being sincere. “None of this is your fault, Maggie. You were so young.”
“So were you.” She laid her head on his chest and held him close.
Leave it to Maggie to give him an out. Even when he didn’t deserve it.
* * *
The sun blinding her, Maggie gulped deep breaths to try to calm herself as she hurried back to the display tent. Her heart felt like it was bleeding after leaving Tony. She couldn’t seem to catch her breath.