Playing With My Heartstrings

by Chloe Brewster

  Yeah, Luke was credited with a lot more kindness than Joel could dare to pretend - I wisely assumed that my priorities knew where they lied.

  "Are you feeling better?" Luke asked, taking a quick look up and down my flushed face.

  I nodded, as an ache painfully twisted in my stomach. An aftershave/apple shampoo-scented embrace might have been a signal of a happy ending in anybody else's eyes, but I still had a fair old long trip to go before my conscience, filled with doubt and exhausting anxiety, would be thankfully cleared empty.

  "I still have some things to explain, Luke, so I'm not quite finished," I spluttered out, a shrug reflexing my stiff-as-cardboard shoulders.

  "I know," Luke said, with a curt nod. "Come on," he added, offering me his beckoning hand, "let's get out of here."

  My eyes almost popped out of my head. "Where?" I demanded.

  Luke shrugged. "Dunno, somewhere around town, I suppose. It's becoming a little bit... hot in here, don't ya think?" he included, in a low, joking murmur.

  "And I thought I was the only one."

  I scooped up my red lip-shaped bag lying beneath my ballet pump shoes and awkwardly got out of my chair, which creaked as loudly as a terrifying floor in a haunted, middle-of-nowhere house, then followed Luke to the closed door, catching up with his conversation.

  "Sadie, do you know how long this explanation is going to take?"

  I flew into a panic. "Is it because you have to go home soon?"

  Luke smirked. "I only just got here! It's because, you, um, sometimes chat for a while; I just like to know what I'm expecting."

  A smile played on my pouting lips, as previous hard-hitting, lengthy and mouth-drying discussions flooded my memory, usually ending with Luke begging to get up and buy a bottle of water, whilst I was strongly adamant to carry on talking about the number of fashion disasters that sweaty footballers create. This time, an honest warning was justified in advance of our intense heart-to-heart.

  "If I explained just half of what has happened in my personal life over the past few weeks, it would fill the timeslot for a programme on one of those documentary channels," I said.

  "The short ones?"

  I shook my head. "More than an hour, maybe two at a desperate push."

  Luke blew his mouth into a whistle. "Wow, until I met you, I never realized that girls had the ability to talk for so long."

  "And until you came into my French fried-satisfied life, my head had never accepted that there were boys who whole-heartedly cared about their female friends and treated them the way they wished. You were the one and only exception," I stated, a soft edge melting my voice like butter.

  Luke beamed proudly, as though he'd just picked up the winning ticket for the Lottery (albeit illegally, as he was only fifteen like myself), and was clearly bursting to his t-shirt's seams, pride lighting his face as brightly as a moonlit sky.

  "You're full of wonderful words, Sadie Thompson," Luke said, as his hand reached for the door handle, leaving me in a glorious spell of sunlight, love - spell-binding and heart-poundingly real -beginning to rise on the horizon once more.

  Chapter 12

  Lying underneath a large, aged tree just outside of the old, empty church situated at the bottom of the high street, I breathed a sigh of relief as I finished telling my recount to a beyond-amazed Luke, whose eyes I feared would pop out of his overwhelmed head at any moment. Reciting an incident where one lost almost all essences of their sanity in the middle of a Blair-Witch-Project-alike forest was never going to be a job that anyone would find easy, even a maths-bunking rebel like myself.

  At least all of my worries had flown out of my mouth, into the warm August breeze, and had been shared with the most important person in my life right at that moment, more-caring-than-a-Care-Bear Luke, and unlike some wimps who would either avoiding thinking about anything related to emotions for the rest of eternity or leap into the air with fright whenever a spooky shadow appears at Full Moon, I'd placed my entire faith into Luke believing in me and to my secret delight, he never doubted my honesty for a second. That meant a whole lot more to me than excitedly clawing open a present at Christmas and discovering a pair of denim blue Converse inside the box - was this how love made you feel, as soft and gooey as a just-baked chocolate chip cookie? Mmm, I strongly thought so, as I took Luke's hand into mine, tracing the long lines with the tips of my claws (no, I meant nails, which were totally in need of a razor-sharp filer immediately).

  "What are you doing?" Luke asked, then exploded into a booming fit of laughter. "You're not ticking me, are you?"

  I smirked, exposing my immaculate killer white set of teeth. "You're ticklish, huh?" I playfully ran my spiderlike fingers up his lengthy-as-a-branch arm, sending waves of uncontrollable giggles through Luke's amused mouth.

  "Stop it!" he shrieked, his trainer-clad feet kicking into the air, narrowly missing the tip of my head.

  "Careful, you nearly hit me!" I ducked, cowering behind my protective arms securely covering my reddened face. "Maybe this is why you never play games with me?"

  Luke guffawed, then calmed down by sprawling his legs back on the emerald-green grass. "I'm not sure, there aren't many games that I like to play."

  My ears flicked with interest. "Oh, really? Which sorts? I was under the impression that all boys love games - aren't they supposed to be fun?"

  "If you mean video games, then sure, pass me the latest version Fifa and I'll play it for hours on -"

  "Are you saying that you don't have a break at all?" Luke nodded, as if it wasn't a massive fuss at all. Well, it was a big deal, in my opinion, as I gasped with utmost horror. "Really, how can you lie on the floor - "

  "Black beanbags, actually - " Luke interjected, with an amused snort.

  I ignored him. "- for, like five hours, and be completely sucked into a game revolving around football?"

  Luke casually shrugged, with an emotionless expression. "I don't know, the game is just fun, I suppose."

  "You suppose?" I whooped. "That game better take your mind off everything else if you're going to waste around a quarter of a day sipping Pepsi and watching Lionel Messi kicking a ball on a virtual pitch!"

  Luke diverted his attention to his can of Pepsi lying beside his burgundy-coloured hoodie, taking a quick sip of the ice-cold drink before offering a reputable response to my anti-football/video games rant.

  "Anyway, if I'm correct, over the past five minutes I've discovered your powerful hatred of -"

  "Don't use the word 'hatred'," I pleaded, without a second thought.

  "Why?"

  I mumbled, "Mum always told me to never hate anything or anyone, even if it applied to a football-themed video game." A rosy tint flared on my dismayed face, as I dreaded a foreseeable smirk, submerged with sarcasm and irritating jokes that would make my blood pressure rise through the roof. Or tree, as I was scrawled around daisies in the open air.

  Luke countered, his index finger pressed to his lip balm-smooth lips. "Yeah, I'm sure my mum said something like that when I was little - another thing we've got in common, isn't it?"

  I flushed scarlet, though this time with an ecstatic glow, which I wasn't afraid to weakly disguise.

  "As I was saying, over the past few minutes I've discovered, to my utter amazement, your powerful loathing -" he exaggerated the word specially for my benefit - "of video games, football and coach potatoes." Luke beamed. "Is there any more homework you need to give me?"

  "Hmm, I think your hands are full enough already, though you may drop everything for one last thing," I grinned, my discreet, flirty side - often concealed beneath a layer of spot-disguising foundation and a killer slick of 60s siren lipstick - boldly rising to the surface.

  "And what may that be?"

  I turned my head away, deliberately gazing at the sky behind my round, Prada-inspired pair of sunglasses. "Something that we've both been waiting for a while," I said.

  Suddenly, Luke realized what I meant, as a large, animated grin lit up hi
s enthusiastic face. "Are you sure?" he breathed, his heart ferociously pounding like wildfire. "We don't have to do this if you don't want -"

  "Luke," I said, whipping my head around in a rapid blur to face his. "For a long time, I was never sure about what I wanted or a lack of confidence was preventing me from taking a further step, in fear of being rejected." I blinked my wet eyes, watering with impressive passion. "I won't open my mouth if I don't have any worth saying, but you're worth so much to me - I'm ready, OK?"

  And Luke's answer, instead of a confused jumble of words, arrived in the impressive form of a mind-blowing kiss, shooting pounding waves of elation throughout my body, and setting my heart alight with a burning fire.

  Our kiss tasted a remarkable mixture of tears, gut-wrenching heartbreak and furious fear, which raged as powerfully as the sugary-sweet flavour of love, admirable affection and powerful passion, and I instantly craved for more once the bittersweet moment came an end, breathlessly panting for a burst of ice cream-cold air.

  "For a moment, I feared that you weren't going to be ready, but you definitely proved me wrong!" Luke exclaimed, stretching his hand towards his Pepsi, gratefully taking a well-deserved swig of the drink.

  Actually, I wished to admit, I proved myself wrong. Yes, I truly did doubt that my charade of confidence would burst like a bubble once Luke placed his lips on mine and waves of embarrassment would follow shortly after, which I'd never be able to live down. Instead, Luke affectionately touched my untameable waves of hair, soothing my fearful nerves, and leap into the show-stopping action, and I moved along with him, having a seriously good time the only agenda crossed upon my mind. And you knew what? I'd just had the greatest opportunity to let my hair down and reveal myself, both equally strong and fragile, in my most personal state, and I loved every second of it. Even loved didn't seem the perfect verb to describe the intense feelings; worshipped was far better suited, as appreciation flooded inside of me as Luke planted each kiss and I followed, never placing a step in the wrong direction.

  "I think we've both proved a few things today," I admitted, in a sheepish whisper.

  "Yeah, of course we have. Had we really known that both of us had been bottling all of these amazing feelings?"

  I nodded. without muttering a single word. Nothing had to be said, really.

  "So." Luke put his fingers into his pockets, staring at the squirrel animatedly racing on the high branches above us. "What do we do next?"

  "It doesn't matter," I confirmed, as the chestnut-coloured squirrel placed its tiny yellow eyes on mine, "as long as we're together."

  Luke squeezed my hand, his heart-melting eyes twinkling more brightly than a midnight sky.

  **********

  "Wow, that really happened?" Tara blurted, spitting out her words at an alarming rate.

  Revelling my strictly private As-if expression, specially reserved for very important occasions (this one, although simply recounting my whirlwind of a day to romantic know-it-all Tara, had definitely earned its title), I rolled my eyes i.e. drama queen-style, and picked at a loose thread on my t-shirt, mumbling 'Uh-huh' every ten seconds in order for Tara to remember that I was still on the other side of the line.

  As Cassie was still relishing her parent-free afternoon at Mae's house, I decided to return home after savouring Luke and I's very first kiss - no words could describe the thrills of elation that made my heart race like a Formula 1 car, though maybe even faster, as flashbacks of the memorable caress popped into my head every so often - which allowed me to gather my thoughts and finally realize that everything, from the gentle stroke of my hair to the lip-tangling embrace, hadn't been a figment of my over-used imagination.

  Besides, whilst Luke was fiddling with zipping up his hoodie, an ear-splitting rendition of 'Need U 100%' (ironically, my ringtone of choice a few months before) rang through the air and brought Luke's phone to life. He stuck his hands in his jeans' pockets and fished out the phone, abruptly answering the impending call from his mum, complaining about his lack of punctuality.

  "Sorry, Mum, I came up to see Sadie," he said, publicly flushing a cherry tomato shade of red.

  My pacing legs came to a halt, as smugness replaced the easy-going smile carved on my coral-red lips. At least I was no longer the only one who could blush for the whole of England!

  After listening a while longer and obviously avoiding some pretty embarrassing questions - my Cluedo-taught mind could tell by the way the colours on his face varied, from an England kit-inspired red to a Shrek-like ogre green - Luke hung up and sighed, his breath warm on my shoulders.

  "What's up?" I asked.

  Luke shivered with ice-cold grimace. "Have to go home," he grumbled, sounding exactly like an angered grizzly bear. Totally out of his usual caring character. "It ruins the rest of my plans."

  "What plans?" No pieces weaved together in my confused mind, so I was solely relying upon Luke's honesty.

  "I was planning to walk you home and maybe, well, meet your parents for the first time." Luke frowned disappointedly. "That's what couples do, right?"

  I nodded, mentally jerking in surprise of the word 'couple'. Even fifteen minutes on, my body hadn't completely relaxed into its meaning.

  Luke sighed. "Now I won't be able to do that with you, especially today was utterly perfect."

  I tugged at my gold chain, my mind driving speedily to come up with an answer. "And today has been utterly perfect, Luke - you don't need to make it any better."

  "But I could -"

  "Hey, go easy!" I proclaimed, with a soft laugh. "Rome wasn't built in, what was it, two days and the same applies for relationships as well - we have plenty of time ahead of us to get around to walking one another home -"

  "Not me, because I live around twenty miles away," Luke reminded, then grinned. "It'd take you ages to get back home afterwards."

  "- and the thing about relationships is that they can be manageable, so nothing is impossible," I concluded. "Besides, what would our parents think if we walked through the door, loudly declaring our profound love for each other?"

  "Have you told them anything, Sadie?"

  I tried to stammer back a reply, but my heart wasn't in it at all. Oops. My forgetting to casually mention my on-going relationship with a guy who I met in a McDonald's a few weeks ago to my overprotective parents on la notte di pasta (pasta night, for those couldn't be bothered to check its meaning on Google Translate) was seriously going to cause a heck load of unnecessary problems. Alongside with my untouched History papers, which were gathering thick layers of dust in the corner of my wooden desk.

  "Um, not exactly," I blurted out, tentatively. When Luke responded with an overbearing glower, I flew into a raging panic. "Well, what could I have said, Luke? It wouldn't have seemed normal if I announced, out of the blue, that I was dating someone, a short while after being caught up in a horrible mess with Joel!"

  "Joel is no longer part of the equation," Luke remarked, flatly, "so there are no masks to disguise behind now. Wouldn't you like your parents to meet me?"

  "Yes, of course, I'd love my dad to lie on the sofa with you one afternoon and my mum to cook her legendary Sunday roast, whilst fussing over how tall and lanky you are for your age in her typical motherly way - I couldn't wish for anything better!" I threw my hands in air, frustration coming into power. "But, most importantly of all, I feel inclined to be careful with my actions in case I do something foolish in a forest once again." I snorted. "Camping is undoubtedly off my last-things-to-do-before-I-die list for good."

  "I know," Luke said, bearing in mind the details I'd filled him on a while ago. "Just don't leave too long, will you, Sadie? If you're right about your mother's cooking, I'd rather come around sooner than later - I'm growing increasingly bored of my mum's constant ordering of chicken curries every other night." He scowled. "Even milkshakes and fries are getting on my nerves, which I never believed were possible."

  "Anyway, don't fear about meals just yet - I'll get my parents a
round things within no time," I promised, though a flicker of panic lit itself inside my stomach. Ooh, did Amazon sell any self-help books regarding how to break the seemingly tragic news that a daughter's parents may very well fly into a fearful rage after discovering that their darling little girl has started to date shortly after being dumped in the most terrible way? Probably, if I was sad enough to waste an entire afternoon scrolling page after page through badly-written books, but time wasn't to be thrown away into a rotting bin, half-eaten; not anymore. "I'll see you soon, OK?"

  "Yeah, see you later," Luke replied, giving me a warming bear-hug, his aftershave smelling better than ever.