A Mother by Nature

by Caroline Anderson

  She closed her eyes and looked away. ‘I don’t know. Yes, of course you can come round.’ She gave a tremulous sigh and met his eyes again. ‘Of course you can. I’ll see you later.’

  She stood up and brushed the crumbs off her tabard, then without another word she left him there, went into the nearest ladies’ loo and shut herself in, flushing it to drown out the sobs that wouldn’t be suppressed.

  Give him time, she told herself, blowing her nose and scrubbing tears from her cheeks. Give him time.

  She washed her face, patted it dry, dug in her pocket for her rescue kit and went back to the ward, patched up and ready to go.

  ‘Hell, again?’ Josh said, cornering her in the kitchen. ‘What now?’

  ‘He doesn’t need a wife.’

  Josh smiled. ‘Good. He’s thinking about it.’

  ‘No. I said his children need a mother. I’m thinking about it, not him. He put me right.’

  Josh let out his breath on a harsh sigh. ‘So you won’t be joining us for the ball, then?’

  His bleeper squawked, and he went into the office to use the phone. He came back a moment later, a wry smile on his face. ‘Curious. That was Adam—he asked if I’d got the ball tickets. He’d like to buy two. Apparently, he’s under the illusion that you’ll still go with him.’

  Her humourless little laugh was cut off in its prime. ‘Oh, I will—he’s right. I can’t refuse him anything. I love him, Josh, and he needs me. That’s the long and the short of it. I love him, and I’ll take any crumbs he throws me—and that’s all he can spare. Crumbs…’ Her voice cracked on the word, and she bit her lip and turned away.

  ‘Hey, hey, don’t be so pessimistic,’ Josh said encouragingly. ‘Lots of people fight shy of commitment, especially if they’ve been burned before. If he says he needs you, Anna, he’ll relent in the end. Take my word for it. You hang in there and make yourself indispensable to him. He’ll come round. Lissa did. You just have to wait him out. Withhold privileges or something,’ he suggested, laughter in his voice.

  ‘I can’t be so calculated,’ she protested. ‘And anyway, I need him, too.’ She let out a soft sigh. ‘I know I’m going to get hurt, whatever happens, but I can’t walk away.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said gently, and laid a kindly hand on her arm. ‘Look, if you need a shoulder to cry on, you know where we are, any time, day or night. Just come round. Lissa’s there most of the day, and we’re always in in the evening. You know you’re welcome.’

  She dredged up a smile. ‘Thanks, Josh. You’re a good friend.’

  ‘Any time.’

  She went out into the ward and found Allie, and her friend shot her a searching look.

  ‘Don’t ask,’ she warned. ‘Please.’

  ‘Oh, Anna! Come on, you need to be busy,’ she said briskly. ‘Damian needs turning—want to give me a hand? And then we need to check the dressing on Kate’s leg.’

  Together they turned Damian again and made him comfortable, and then went to see Kate, who was just starting the leg-lengthening procedure.

  She was in a little pain, but she seemed relieved that the operation was over and the real business of stretching out the short leg could begin. Adam had showed her how to turn the key, and how far, and she would be doing it herself, an important part of the process.

  The wounds looked clean and healthy, and Anna was impressed at the neatness of the incision and the almost invisible stitching. It would heal beautifully, she realised. Just another of Adam’s many skills.

  Then she checked the little girl with pneumonia and made sure she was comfortable and breathing as well as she could. She was being monitored frequently, and her vital signs had been improving over the last hour or so that she had been in.

  ‘Dr Lancaster’s ever so kind, isn’t he?’ the child’s mother said, and Anna agreed.

  He was kind. Kind and thoughtful, and he’d moved heaven and earth to convince Lissa to marry him when she’d been expecting their first child. When he talked about patience, he was at least talking from a standpoint of personal experience. Perhaps he was right.

  And perhaps pigs flew.

  The doorbell rang at a quarter to ten, and Anna opened it to find Adam there, flowers in his hand and regret in his eyes. ‘Can I come in?’

  ‘Of course you can. I said that.’

  He put the flowers down, and drew her into his arms. ‘I’m sorry I hurt you,’ he murmured. ‘I just didn’t want you building up unrealistic dreams. I’m sorry if I was too late.’

  You were too late the moment I first saw you, Anna thought, and hugged him gently back. ‘Don’t be silly. Do you want a drink?’

  He shook his head. ‘No. I just want you.’

  Without a word she turned and led the way upstairs.

  It was strange, the rest of that week. She was looking forward to the ball, but she was too busy to think about it much, and Saturday was rushing up like an express train.

  ‘Have you got a dress?’ Allie asked on Friday, and she nodded.

  ‘A strappy cream thing—it’s quite slinky and it’s split all the way up to wherever, but it suits me and I own it and I don’t have time to go shopping.’

  Allie laughed and shook her head. ‘You ought to spoil yourself. Don’t you want to impress him?’

  Pain stabbed her. ‘I don’t think a dress will do it,’ she said drily. ‘Come and give me a hand with Damian. I want to move him out into the ward. He’s bored and fractious, and I think he might be better with something to look at and someone to talk to. We’ll need to do something ingenious with mirrors so he can see the television, but I’m sure we can cheer him up.’

  They were just moving him into his new position when her senses went on red alert. She lifted her head, and Adam was standing in the entrance to the ward, watching her. He was too far away for her to see his expression, but she had known he was there. How strange, and yet not strange at all. She felt she knew everything about him. Why would she not know when he was near?

  He came towards her, every step echoing her heartbeat, and a fleeting smile quirked his lips. ‘Hello, all. Hi, Damian. How are things?’

  ‘Boring,’ the boy said.

  ‘We’re moving him so there’s more to see and do,’ Anna explained. ‘We’re going to rig up mirrors so he can see round the ward, and watch the television and so on.’

  ‘That should make things better for you, Damian. Good—’ He turned to Anna. ‘Could I have a word, Sister, please?’

  ‘Of course.’ She left Damian in Allie’s capable hands and followed Adam into the vacated side room. ‘What is it?’

  ‘Apart from the fact that I just wanted to see you?’ he said with a wry smile. ‘I’ve got a six-year-old child with osteogenesis imperfecta who’s just moved into the area recently and is supposedly coming in for correction of bowing and multiple fractures of both femurs. She’s very small—tiny for her age, no bigger than a toddler—and she’s very frail. She’s got a pigeon chest and scoliosis, and very limited limb growth. I don’t know what I can do for her, I suspect not a lot, but she’s fallen and broken her arm and leg this morning and she’s coming up in a minute.’

  ‘Are you going to pin and plate her?’

  He shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I can’t decide. I have to say I’m not very hopeful. I think she’s too fragile to treat except very conservatively, and I’m wary of going in and doing more damage. There’s nothing to screw anything to, it’s all too fragile, and really I don’t know how she’s survived so far. I’ve never seen such brittle bones.

  ‘It’s a collagen problem, of course, and the brittle bones are just a symptom, so I think we might try to treat the collagen deficiency long term, but for now we might have to put her in a very lightweight cast so, please, make sure the nursing staff know how fragile she is.’

  ‘I will,’ Anna promised, wondering how they would manage her. ‘She’ll need a Propad mattress and sheepskin. I’ll see to that. She’ll need a cot as well, I think—I don’t want
to risk her falling out of bed. We’d better pad the bars. Is her mother coming with her?’

  ‘Yes. She’s the one that’s got her through so far, so I would use her whenever possible. She’s used to handling her and they have a system, apparently. I have to say, I think we might lose her. She’s really brave apparently, but, of course, every fracture hurts as much as another, and just because it happens to her all the time that doesn’t mean it isn’t painful.’

  Adam sighed and ran his hands through his hair. ‘I thought I had some time this afternoon to catch up on my paperwork, but it doesn’t look like it now. She’s come to the top of the list in a major way, but I don’t think I’ll do a lot before Monday. I’ll come and see her once you’ve got her settled and I’ll decide then. I’ll go and have another look at the pictures and see what I think. I might ring an old colleague.’

  He was just leaving the room when he turned back. ‘Still all right for tomorrow?’

  ‘I am—what about you?’

  He closed his eyes and grunted with laughter. ‘Helle can’t babysit. She’s going to London again. My parents have said they’ll come and stay—that means I’ll get the third degree if I stay out after midnight.’

  ‘Really?’

  He laughed again. ‘Maybe. I don’t know. I haven’t tried. Knowing my mother, she’d be delighted to know there was a woman in my life. She’s insatiably curious as it is. She knows I’m taking someone to the ball, she just doesn’t know who—and she certainly doesn’t know we’re having an affair. She’d be over the moon. She thinks I’m a recluse.’

  No, just a lonely, generous man who’d given his heart to his children and sworn to protect them no matter what the cost.

  ‘We’ll just have to go home early, then,’ Anna said with a smile, and his eyes darkened fractionally.

  ‘Promises, promises,’ he murmured, and walked away, whistling softly.

  ‘You look stunning.’

  Anna laughed and stroked Adam’s satin lapel. ‘You don’t look so bad yourself. I like the bow-tie—very professional.’

  ‘And it’s real,’ he told her smugly. ‘None of your elasticated nonsense.’

  He helped her into her coat, dropped a quick, hard kiss on her lips and then had to wait while she wiped the lipstick off his mouth with a tissue.

  ‘Why did you do that?’ he asked. ‘I thought I’d set a trend.’

  ‘Very fetching. It’s not your colour. You’d look better in plum.’

  ‘I’ll bear it in mind.’

  It was only a short drive to the hotel where the ball was being held, and it was moments before they’d handed over their coats and were inside, surrounded by red roses, silver hearts and romantic music.

  ‘St Valentine, eat your heart out,’ Adam said softly in her ear. ‘Right, where are the others? Do we need to meet up with them?’

  ‘Over there—I can see Josh waving. They’re all there.’ And, please, she thought, don’t let Josh grill him about his intentions or let on that he knows anything. Anything at all!

  He didn’t. He stood up to greet them, and said, ‘I expect you know most of us. This is my wife, Lissa, and Sarah Jordan, Matt’s wife, from A and E, and you know Matt and Mark and Allie already. We’re still waiting for Nick and Ronnie Sarazin—they might be late. One of the children was ill, apparently. Now, can I get you two a drink? I’m just going up to the bar.’

  The meal was wonderful, and as they lingered over coffee the master of ceremonies called for everyone’s attention, thanked them for supporting the cause and ordered them to dance. The band struck up, and Adam turned to Anna with a challenging smile.

  ‘You wanted to party,’ he said slowly. ‘Let’s party.’

  She returned his smile, stood up and took his hand. ‘Excuse us, folks. We’re here to dance.’

  She followed him onto the empty floor and went into his arms. It was a pacy number, with a heavy beat, and he slotted one thigh between hers, laid a guiding hand on the small of her back and led her in an intricate series of swoops and swirls that left her laughing and breathless and everyone clapping.

  It was followed by another, and another, with everyone joining in, and then the band slowed down and he locked his arms behind her back and smiled down at her. ‘Enjoying yourself?’ he asked.

  ‘Absolutely. You’re an exhibitionist,’ she said in amazement, and he laughed. ‘And a liar,’ she added. ‘You didn’t tread on my toes once!’

  ‘Ah. I asked if you had strong shoes—I didn’t say I was going to tread on you! You’re pretty special, you know that? You didn’t miss a single beat.’

  ‘Nor did you. I’m stunned. So many men have two left feet.’

  ‘Ah, well, you know what they say about good dancers.’

  She tried to stifle a smile. ‘If you’re fishing for compliments on your technique in other areas, you can fish,’ she teased.

  ‘You’re a hard woman.’

  ‘I wouldn’t want you to get a swollen head.’

  ‘No danger of that. I’m sure you wouldn’t allow it for a moment.’ He drew her closer and sighed in her ear. ‘You smell good,’ he murmured.

  ‘So do you. I could breathe you in all night.’

  ‘Not a chance. I think Josh is back with our drinks, and I’m gasping after that lot,’ he said, and eased away from her with reluctance. ‘Shall we go back to the table?’

  ‘We ought to, or they’ll complain that we’re being antisocial.’

  Needless to say, they were teased about the dancing.

  ‘Very sexy,’ Lissa said, eyeing them with interest. ‘Tell me, were you actually screwed together, or was that just an illusion?’

  ‘Lissa!’ Josh exclaimed, and everyone laughed aloud.

  ‘Just an illusion,’ Adam assured her with a smile.

  ‘I just wondered if, being an orthopaedic surgeon, you could lend a whole new meaning to the term “joined at the hip”.’ She turned to her husband and eyed him speculatively. ‘Josh, can you dance like that?’

  ‘Not in public,’ he said reprovingly, and Anna laughed, still on a high from the best dance she’d had in years.

  ‘You’re just a stuffed shirt. Your wife wants to dance, Josh, take her up on it. You might not get a better offer all night.’

  ‘Later. I need to get a bit more tanked up before I make an ass of myself.’

  They all laughed, and the conversation settled down and became more general. Adam was asked about his house, and he told them about the general state of it and the vast amount of decorating that needed to be done.

  ‘You ought to have a stripping party,’ Lissa suggested. ‘They’re always lots of fun.’

  Everyone laughed, and Adam shook his head. ‘I’d worry about your wife, if I were you, Josh,’ he said with a chuckle. ‘I think you’ve got your hands full there.’

  ‘Wallpaper,’ Lissa said firmly, trying not to laugh. ‘You get everyone round and hire wallpaper strippers and get loads of food in and, Bob’s your uncle, it’s all stripped. Fun. We’ll come.’

  ‘You haven’t been invited yet,’ Josh reminded her, and she rolled her eyes.

  ‘I’ll have you know I’m a dab hand with a wall-paper stripper,’ she said proudly.

  ‘I’ll think about it,’ Adam promised. ‘And now, if you’ll excuse us, I’m going to take Anna back to the dance floor and find out what else she can do.’

  ‘This I have to see,’ Mark said with a chuckle. ‘You’ve been hiding your light under a bushel, Anna.’

  ‘You’ve all had your chance,’ she reminded them. ‘It’s not my fault you didn’t know a good thing when you saw it.’

  ‘Stop flirting with them, they’re all taken,’ Adam said, towing her to her feet. ‘Come on, woman, I want your body. The night’s awasting.’

  It couldn’t get any better, she thought, but she was wrong. They danced together, they danced apart, they danced around each other, they jived, they tangoed, they waltzed, and then finally, with the last and most romantic number to wi
nd up a valentine ball, they stood almost still and swayed against each other.

  Anna thought she’d never been so in tune with anyone or so aware of them in her life. She rested her head on Adam’s shoulder, her arms round his waist under his jacket, and wished the evening didn’t have to come to an end.

  Finally, though, it was time to go, and they said goodnight to the others and walked back to the car, his arm slung round her shoulders, their hips bumping with every stride. It was a cold, crisp night, but they were warm from the dancing and still running on adrenaline, so they hardly noticed.

  He parked outside her house and cut the engine, then took the keys from her and opened her front door, closing it behind them and drawing her back into his arms.

  ‘Where were we?’ he asked gruffly, and slid her coat over her shoulders. His own followed it to the floor, then he kicked off his shoes, shucked off his jacket, tugged the bow-tie loose and slid the cuff-links free.

  Anna turned and walked towards the stairs, kicking off her shoes as she went, and he followed her, catching her by the ankle and placing a kiss in the centre of her foot.

  She laughed and pulled it away, turning round and watching as he stripped off his shirt and dropped it on the hall floor. The trousers followed, and the socks, leaving him in nothing but wholly inadequate briefs. She backed up the stairs, trapped by the fever in his eyes, and went into the bedroom.

  She’d set the scene tonight, placing candles on the chest of drawers, putting fresh linen on the bed, his flowers in a vase on the dressing table. It probably gave away too much, but she didn’t care. She was no good at hiding things, she never had been, and he might as well know the truth.

  She lit the candles, and while she stooped over them, Adam bent and laid his lips against the bare, heated skin of her shoulders. ‘You’re beautiful,’ he murmured, sliding down the zip on her dress and easing the fine spaghetti straps off the shoulders.

  It puddled round her ankles, leaving her dressed in nothing more than a pair of slinky tights, and he slid his hands round from behind her and cupped her breasts, their reflection in the mirror pearly in the candlelight.

  ‘Beautiful,’ he said again, and turned her into his arms. His kiss was tender, slow and lazy, belying the heat that raged between them.