A Baby for the Doctor

by Stephanie Dees

  “But—”

  They were overbooked. They were always overbooked because who could turn away a sick kid? So they went in order of arrival. Sometimes, though, you had to break the rules. “Marissa, take a look at him.”

  His sweet nurse peeked over the counter and sighed. “Poor little one. He looks terrified.”

  “He’s her new foster son. Let’s get the two of them in a room.” Ash stripped off his white lab coat and tossed it over a chair before picking up Levi’s thin chart. He opened the door to the waiting room. “Ms. Conley?”

  Jordan’s eyes widened and darted around the room to the other moms, but she hastily made her way to the door. Jordan glanced out at the people lining the walls in the waiting room. “I think they’re planning a mutiny. Might want to send out some snacks or something.”

  Ash laughed. “I’ll take that under advisement. We thought waiting in a room might be more comfortable for Levi.”

  “You thought right. Thank you.”

  “Hey, buddy.” Ash reached into his pocket for a sticker. He held it out to Levi, who looked at him from under Jordan’s chin.

  The little boy’s eyes were huge in his thin face and seemed to question Ash’s motives, but he stuck his hand out and took the sticker from Ash’s hand. Ash considered that a victory. “You’ll be waiting in the red room, better known as the Giraffe Room. I’ve got just a couple of patients to see before Levi, but I won’t be long. Marissa?”

  Ash’s nurse showed Jordan to the red room and followed them in. After an eight-month-old with an ear infection and a two-year-old with eczema, Ash knocked on the door. He pushed it open to find that Jordan had sketched roads on the paper cover of the exam table and was showing Levi how to make sound effects for his Matchbox cars.

  When the toddler saw Ash, he pulled his car close to his chest and narrowed his dark brown eyes.

  Tucking the pen and extra cars back into the diaper bag, Jordan smiled at Levi. “It’s okay, buddy. Dr. Sheehan is just going to give you a checkup. Remember how we watched the little girl give her stuffed animal a checkup on TV?”

  “Time for a checkup, time for a checkup!” Ash sang the song from the kid’s show.

  Jordan laughed. “See, Levi? He even knows the song.”

  Ash pulled a couple more stickers out of his pocket, once again the pediatrician’s secret weapon. He held them out to Levi. “We’ll do as quick a check as possible today so I can fill out your form for the caseworker. I’m hoping he’ll get used to me so he’ll let me do a full exam soon without it being too traumatizing.”

  “What do you need me to do?”

  “If you’ll pick him up and put him on your shoulder, I’ll look in his ears.”

  Jordan lifted Levi, and Ash took a peek in one ear and the other.

  “Great job, Levi. Jordan, if you want to hold him in your lap with his back against your chest, I want to get a look in his throat and nose. I’ll try to be fast.”

  Jordan held Levi’s arms and hands still and Ash took a quick look in the little guy’s nose. Just as he was gearing up to yell, Ash got a look in his throat. “All done. Let’s put him on the table and we’ll see how far we can get with an exam. I want to check those burns if he’ll let me.”

  She laid Levi on the table and Ash held his exam light up, pretending to blow it out. No laughs, but at least he got a little smile from the somber little boy. He gently checked one fragile arm and then the other. The burns looked better.

  A quick check of reflexes and he would call it a day. Ash slid his thumbnail up the sole of Levi’s foot. His big toe curved back and his toes spread. Babinski in a three-and-a-half-year-old?

  He tested the other foot. The primitive reflex was not as strong, but it was still there. With long practice, Ash hid his concern, smiling at Levi. “You did awesome, little man!”

  “So, rainbow fingernails are in now?” Jordan pulled a T-shirt over Levi’s head.

  Ash glanced down at his hands and yes, his fingernails were painted in rainbow pastel shades. His face flushed hot, but he laughed and shrugged. “It’s the latest thing, didn’t you know? I have a little patient going through chemo right now. She has specialists overseeing her care, but when I can, I go by to see her. Last night she was bored and her mom needed a nap, hence my new fashion statement.”

  Jordan’s eyes were soft. “I’m sorry. That must hit home for you.”

  “It does, a little,” he admitted. “And she’s a real sweetheart of a kid. I hate it for her. You ready?”

  She pulled some soft knit pants over Levi’s scrawny legs and picked him up. “Now I am.”

  “Good. I want to run a few tests on Levi. Because he’s so small and isn’t crawling or walking, I want to rule out some more serious issues. Marissa will call you once the appointments are set up, okay?”

  Jordan stopped halfway out the door. “Should I be worried?”

  He smiled into her already very concerned eyes. “Not yet. I’ll tell you when to worry. I promise.”

  She nodded. “It’s just—He’s been through a lot, you know?”

  “I do know.” Ash opened the door because feelings were churning in his chest. He saw dozens of patients every day and never had he wanted to take one of the mothers in his arms and reassure her that everything would be okay. He cleared his throat. “Jordan, I promise we’re going to take good care of him.”

  He watched as she walked down the hall toward the reception area, her red head bent toward a dark, curly one.

  “Doc?” Marissa shook his arm, startling him. “You have a patient waiting in two.”

  “Right. I need to make some notes first. And I want you to go ahead and make an appointment for a CT scan for Levi—spine and hips.” Marissa noted his request and walked away. He stood there a second longer.

  Jordan was so different from other girls—women—he’d known. She hadn’t had an easy time of it but she wasn’t waiting for life to come to her. Instead, she took life by the reins, making it be what she wanted it to be. There was a part of him that deeply desired that kind of determination and definitely admired it.

  He called after her, “Jordan!”

  She turned back and he was at her side in a second, before he had time to think about it, consider the consequences.

  “Go out with me. Dinner on Friday?”

  Jordan stared into his eyes as if scrutinizing his motives and he wondered what she thought she saw there. He didn’t even know what his motives were.

  After a long minute, when every eye in the place seemed to be trained on him, she said, “No, thank you.”

  No, thank you. That was what you say when someone offers you Brussels sprouts and you hate them, not what you say when someone you like invites you to dinner.

  Over the rushing in his ears, he heard her say a few more words, and then over it all, the sound of an infant screaming in the room to his left.

  Marissa put a merciful hand on his arm. “Room two is waiting, Dr. Sheehan.”

  He turned and went to the door of the exam room. With his hand on the doorknob, he stopped. Struggling to come up with appropriate words, he finally said, “Okay, then, I’ll see you around.”

  Color high in her cheeks, Jordan nodded and fled.

  * * *

  A week later Jordan was still thinking about that moment. He’d closed in on her with long strides, blue eyes smiling at her, those tiny crinkles in the corners. Stupid rainbow fingernails, making her feel all warm and mushy about him.

  In her mind, when he’d asked her to go to dinner, she didn’t blurt out that he wasn’t her type. She didn’t even hesitate. She smiled slowly up at him and said, What took you so long? Or That sounds like fun.

  Was that so hard?

  She scowled and shoveled fresh pellets into Bartlet’s stall. “Yes, thank you, tha
t sounds like fun.” See, how hard was that?

  “Who are you talking to?”

  She went still. She knew that deep voice. Slowly, she turned around, her cheeks burning. Ash leaned on the door to the barn, a bakery bag dangling from his relaxed fingers. He was absolutely spotless, as usual. Nary a crease would dare to mar his perfect khakis.

  Did the man never get thrown up on? He was a pediatrician.

  In contrast, she was dressed—as usual—in riding pants and flannel. She had mud down her side where one of her young clients used her hip as a stepstool getting off his horse after therapy.

  And she had been talking to herself. About him.

  She stood the shovel on end and raised one eyebrow. “I’m a very good conversationalist, I’ll have you know.”

  “Apparently.” He pushed off the wall with his shoulder and held out the bag. “For you. Double chocolate. Jules said it was your favorite.”

  “It is. And you have perfect timing, actually. I’m done here. Want to share? I have milk.” When he gave her a look, she laughed. “No worries. We ate earlier because Levi can’t hold out until I’m finished with the animals. His babysitter—actually, your sister Wynn—is putting him to bed. He’s finally able to sleep in his room and even goes into his crib without crying.”

  She slid the barn door closed and locked it.

  “You don’t have to put the horses in?” He followed her down the trail around the pond toward her home.

  “It’s warm enough now that I let them stay in the field sometimes. They work hard during the day, so they frolic at night.” Her lips twitched at her horse humor. See, she was funny. She could carry on a conversation. Reaching her front porch, she sat on the small bench outside the front door and shucked her boots, entering the cottage in sock feet, Ash right behind her. “Hey, Wynn, how did he do?”

  Ash’s sister Wynn put her finger to her lips. “Sound asleep. That last bottle did the trick.”

  “He didn’t sleep long this afternoon. I figured he’d go down pretty easy.” Gus nosed his way out of Levi’s room and ambled over, bumping his head against her hand until she crouched down to give him her attention. She looked up at Wynn as she scratched behind Gus’s ears. “Did he eat any food?”

  “A few crackers and some mandarin oranges, even swallowed a little bit.” Wynn pulled the ponytail holder out of her long blond hair, shaking it out to fall down her back. “He’s precious. What time do you need me tomorrow?”

  “My clients are in the morning tomorrow, so Mrs. Matthews can watch him. Thanks, though. You’re a lifesaver.”

  “Pish.” Wynn picked up her purse, a small suede satchel with six-inch fringe, as she walked to the door. “I love that little guy.”

  Ash towered over his petite sister. He put his arm around her. “If you’re looking for something to do while you’re home, I could use some help in the office. My receptionist is on maternity leave as of Tuesday.”

  Wynn gave her brother a light shove. “Good luck with that.”

  He closed the door behind Wynn. “She’s always been mean to me.”

  “I can’t understand why. I know you’re glad to see her. She said she hasn’t been home for more than a day or two in three years.” Jordan grinned and held up the bakery bag, thankful that no awkwardness lingered between them. “Want a piece of the cupcake?”

  He smiled. “There’s an oatmeal cookie in there for me. I was hoping we could talk for a minute.”

  Unease drilled her right in the belly, but she poured two big glasses of cold milk and placed the cupcake on a napkin. “Let’s go sit in the living room and I’ll light a fire.”

  With a long match from the container on the mantel, she lit the tinder under the logs. After watching a few seconds to make sure it caught, she joined Ash on the floor behind the coffee table. Gus settled beside her, his big head in her lap. “You don’t really strike me as a sit-on-the-floor-and-eat-cookies kind of guy.”

  He looked up, surprised. “Really? At home, I always eat cookies on the floor.”

  She laughed. “Okay, okay.”

  The cupcake was her favorite but she couldn’t eat it, not knowing that Ash wanted to talk about Levi. “So what’s going on?”

  Ash picked up the cookie and put it down again without taking a bite. “Okay. Let’s start at the beginning. We know that Levi is developmentally delayed. Trauma can do that. Neglect can do that. But when I examined him, he had a reflex—the Babinski reflex—that should be gone by the time he’s three. Sometimes if a child still has that reflex later, it’s a sign that there might be nerve damage. Because of the nature of the abuse that he suffered, I felt like it would be better to do the tests and find out for sure.”

  “You sound like you’re reading from a report.”

  He made a face. “Sorry. Professional hazard. I usually do better.”

  She threaded her fingers into Gus’s thick pelt, letting the familiarity of his soft fur soothe her. “It’s okay. So the tests that we had done were to see if he has nerve damage. Like to his spine?”

  “Yes. The fact that he isn’t crawling or walking even though his nutrition is better and he’s getting stronger made me wonder if his condition is irreversible.”

  Jordan couldn’t breathe. “And the results of the test?”

  “They were inconclusive.” His eyes were on hers, and the concern in them was so deep that it made her feel exposed, like he could see how shattered she was at the thought that Levi might have suffered permanent damage at the hands of his parents.

  She swallowed hard, trying to process but knowing that she couldn’t really do that until she had some space to grieve. “So what you’re saying is that he may never walk?”

  He stared at the fire for a second before he answered, meeting her eyes again. “I’m saying it’s a possibility. Kids’ bodies heal differently than adults. We just don’t know—won’t know—until we know.”

  Burying her face in her hands, she tried so hard to fight back the emotional response to what he had told her and just look at it logically. She couldn’t. Silent sobs racked her body as she tried in vain to just take in a breath. How cruel was it that the abuse he had suffered strapped in a chair and left there could consign him to a wheelchair permanently?

  Slowly, she became aware of Ash’s arms around her, his lips murmuring against her hair. “It’s gonna be okay.”

  She pushed away from him, scrubbing the tears from her cheeks. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what—I hate to cry.”

  “You love him. That’s understandable.”

  “He’s not even my kid.” She drew in a long, shaky breath. “And somehow that makes it even worse. He deserves a happy, stable life after all he’s been through and I have no way of making sure that happens.”

  “I know. He does deserve that.” He rubbed his temples with his long doctor fingers and she noted that his fingernails were no longer rainbow, but there was a smudge of pink polish on one nail.

  She felt a pang somewhere in the region of her heart as she thought about the fact that he took time to do manicures with little girls with cancer. Maybe he wasn’t quite the playboy that she made him out to be in her mind. He’d also taken the time to come here and talk through this with her because he knew it would be difficult.

  She took another deep breath and tried to focus. Okay, so Levi might be in a wheelchair. At the very least, this information meant that he needed physical therapy immediately. It would be a long, arduous road for him, and she hated that thought. “Is it painful?”

  “His legs? I don’t think so. He doesn’t act like it is. And he does have at least some feeling in his legs. My recommendation would be to do intense physical therapy and reevaluate in six months. There’s a doctor in Atlanta who has done some pretty great work with injuries of this kind, too. It would be good to get a second opinio
n. I’m not a specialist.”

  “It’s going to be hard.”

  “Yes.” He paused. “No doubt about that—it will be hard, on both of you.”

  “I’ve done hard things before.” Claire had been working full-time when their mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It had been quick and it had been brutal and, while they shared the responsibility, it had been Jordan who had been at their mother’s side.

  “When I think about the things in my life that shaped my character the most, it isn’t the things that came easily to me that I remember.” Ash made a face. “Sounds like a cliché when I say it like that, but it’s not.”

  She nodded her head slowly. “It really doesn’t matter how it affects me. I’m an adult and I may not have known what we were facing, but I signed up for this. He didn’t.”

  The fire had burned down to embers. Ash looked at his watch and grimaced. “I should go. I have a patient having her tonsils out in the morning and I promised I’d be there before she goes in for surgery.”

  He got to his feet and tousled her hair slightly. “It’s gonna be okay. You don’t have to do this alone. We’ll all be here to help.”

  Once again, Jordan, who hated to cry, had tears pooling in her eyes. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She heard the door open and looked back. “Hey, Ash.”

  When he turned around, she said, “Ask me again sometime.”

  “Ask you wh—Oh.” He grinned, that all-American smile of his flashing white in the dim room. “Maybe when my pride recovers.”

  The door closed behind him before she could think of a clever retort. He was so confusing to her. She knew him to be a good-time guy, never serious about anything except maybe medicine. Now that she was spending more time with him, she was seeing a sweet, more sensitive side. She couldn’t help but wonder which one was the real Ash Sheehan.

  * * *

  Ash walked slowly around the pond toward his car. The stars were so bright out here, even just a couple of miles from town. The black sky was vast and it seemed like it should be quiet, but it wasn’t. Horses blowing, donkeys shuffling, wind whispering in the tops of the pines and the occasional shout of a child who was supposed to be asleep.