The Truth About My Scratches (The Carolina Killer Files #3)

by Kiersten Modglin

  Both mothers looked uncomfortable. I spoke up softly. “Yes, it is.”

  He looked down. “Mom, can we please go?”

  “Of course, sweetheart,” she said dotingly.

  “Good to see you, Mrs. Thomas. Jaicey.” He ducked his head and walked away quickly before we could say anything else.

  Rebecca looked at me sadly. “You’ll have to excuse him. He’s been having a really rough time with everything. I know he was glad to see you, honey. We’re all just so glad that you’re all right.” She looked to my mom. “Call me sometime, Jen. We’ll meet up for brunch and catch up.”

  Mom nodded. “Take care.”

  With that she was off, chasing after Derek, who had already disappeared. Mom led me out of the store quickly. Once we were in the car and on our way home, I looked to her.

  “Mom?”

  “What, honey?”

  “What did Mrs. Anderson mean when she said that Derek and I aren’t together anymore?”

  “What are you talking about?” she asked, turning down the radio.

  “She told me to call her Rebecca. She said that just because we weren’t together anymore, Derek and I, that I should still call her that. What did she mean? Derek and I were never together.”

  My mom was quiet for a moment, pursing her lips. “I’m sure you just misunderstood her.”

  “No. I don’t think so. That’s not all. Derek has been acting really weird toward me lately.”

  “Sweetheart, I’m sure you just misunderstood. You know Rebecca and I went to school together. We were very close. You and Derek used to play together as children and have grown up together. I’m sure she just meant that you don’t have to call her Mrs. Anderson like you’re a stranger. That’s all.”

  “So, you didn’t hear her say that?” I asked.

  She was quiet, staring ahead.

  “Mom?”

  “No, Jaicey. I didn’t hear her say that.”

  I sighed, staring out my window, not completely sure I could believe her.

  ***

  When we got home that night, I called Brayden. “Hey, guess what I did today?”

  “I don’t know. What?” he asked, sounding distracted.

  “I bought my dress for the prom,” I told him, excitement filling me. “Oh, and it’s beautiful. You’re just going to love it.”

  “I’ll love the girl wearing it,” he cooed.

  I laughed. “I’m serious. It’s amazing. I can’t wait for you to see it.”

  “I can’t either. Saturday’s the big day.”

  “You could come over before that, you know. Whenever you want. If you want to see it sooner, that is. I mean, I could ask about you coming tonight.”

  “Actually, I’m in the middle of something here. Maybe another day though.”

  “Oh, okay,” I said quietly.

  “I do want to see it though, Jaice. I wish I could be there right now.”

  I smiled. “Want to hear a secret?”

  “Of course,” he said.

  “I’m actually kind of excited for prom. Really excited, honestly. I never thought I’d say that.”

  “Well, look at that. You are normal. I’d been worried about you for a while,” he joked.

  “I’m serious.” I laughed at him, my stomach dancing with every word he said.

  He laughed back. His laugh made me smile brighter. “You’d better be. Believe it or not, I actually have quite a night planned for you.”

  ***

  4:04 AM. I shot up in bed, heart pounding. My throat was dry and itchy. I looked around the room, checking carefully for shadows. There was nothing. I pulled the covers back, shivering as the cool air hit my body. I stood up, tiptoeing toward the kitchen to get a drink. As I got closer to the end of the hall, I noticed my parents’ bedroom light shone underneath their door. What on earth were they still doing up?

  As I drew closer, I could hear their hushed tones.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say, Jenny. You know what the doctor said. We have to stick to the plan. This was our decision, not just mine. It’s what is best for all of us, and more importantly, it’s what’s best for her. We don’t have a choice in this now.”

  “It’s just so hard, Chuck. It wasn’t supposed to take this long; they never said it would be years. Days, weeks, even months, sure, but this? How am I supposed to keep it up? And for how long? Forever? Do you really think we can do that?”

  They were talking about my dad’s tumor again; I was sure. I didn’t want to eavesdrop but I just had to know what was going on. I knew there had to be things they weren’t telling me, things they thought would be too hard for me to hear.

  “We will keep it up for however long it takes, however long she needs us to. Doing anything different than what we have been could just set her back even further. We’re doing the best we can for her.”

  “Chuck, you didn’t see her today. You didn’t see how confused she was. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, lying to her like that.”

  “I didn’t see it today, no, but I’ve seen it before. I know how it is. Why is this any different than any other time?”

  “Because it was Rebecca and it was Derek. And how I am supposed to explain to them what’s happening? They love her as much as we do. It’s just not fair.”

  “I know you love the Andersons, Jen, but this is not about them. This is about our daughter. This is about what’s best for Jaicey. They understand that.”

  “How can they possibly understand that? I don’t even understand it. How can I be expected to lie to our daughter every single day of her life? Possibly for the rest of her life. How can any of this be the right thing?”

  “You know what the doctor said. She said we have to let her work through it. We can’t force her. We couldn’t force her then and we can’t now. It’ll only be worse on her. Besides that, as far as I’m concerned she’s better off not knowing.”

  “You can’t believe that.” My mother’s hushed tone sounded as if she were crying.

  “You’re damn right I can,” my dad snapped at her.

  “Chuck, she doesn’t remember anything. It’s not just what happened. She doesn’t remember a thing about who she was.”

  “She’s our daughter, Jenny. That’s all she needs to know. We made this decision over a year ago. You can’t just change your mind now. It’s done.”

  I heard footsteps then and rushed from the door, careful not to make any noise. I huddled in the kitchen, trying to come up with an excuse as to why I was up. After a few moments, the kitchen light flicked on.

  “Jaicey?” my mom asked.

  Keep your voice calm. “Hey.” I faked a yawn.

  “What on earth are you doing in here?”

  “I was thirsty. I came to get a drink.”

  “In the dark?” she asked, her eyebrows raised.

  “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

  She walked to the counter and grabbed a glass, flipping the faucet on.

  “Sit down, Jaice,” she told me.

  I did, my heart hammering. She brought my glass over to me and sat it down, scooting it toward me. “There you go.”

  I took a sip, careful not to let her see my hands shaking.

  “Are you sure everything is all right?”

  “Everything is fine. I just woke up thirsty.” I smiled, taking another sip.

  She watched me drink until the cup was empty, her face saying she didn’t believe me. She took the glass back, refilling it and bringing it to me once again.

  “Feel better?”

  I nodded.

  “Why don’t you go on up to bed then? Take the cup with you in case you get thirsty again.”

  I nodded, grateful for the chance to leave. I picked up the glass, hurrying back to my room.

  When I got to my room I shut my door, sliding down the wall. My whole body shook with fear. What on earth was going on? What were they talking about? Had I really forgotten who I was? How could I? Who was I?

&
nbsp; Questions swam in my brain as I began to drift off to sleep again. When I woke up the next morning, the cup was gone from my nightstand and the prior night was a bit of a blur. Had it all been just a bad dream?

  Chapter 10

  Tuesday at school, Mallory found me after third period. “Jaicey Thomas, girl, please tell me what I’ve been hearing is true.”

  I smiled, already knowing what she’d heard. My smile was enough confirmation.

  “You and the new kid, huh? So that’s why you said no to Derek then? I always knew you knew how to keep a secret! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” Her smile was playful as she waited for me to spill the latest gossip.

  “No, it wasn’t why I said no to Derek. I swear. Brayden and I are fairly new. It definitely hasn’t been a secret.”

  “Budding romance? Oh, our Jaicey is back. This is so exciting. You have to tell me everything. Every detail. You know how I am.” She held her hands out, wiggling her fingers as if pulling information from me.

  “I will.” I nodded.

  “You have to. Today. After school then?” she begged. “I’ll just die if I don’t know soon.”

  I started to make an excuse to say no, thinking quickly.

  “Please don’t say no. Please. Just one night, Jaice.” She pushed out her bottom lip.

  “Okay,” I said, regretting it immediately.

  She stifled a scream, hugging me tight and jumping up and down. “Yes! We can just ride home after school together. We’ll take my car.” She ignored my flinch, for which I was grateful.

  “Oh,” I said, “actually, Brayden usually takes me home.”

  She winked. “Oh! Of course he does. Duh, Mallory. Okay, I’ll pick you up around five then?”

  I nodded. “Sure, five will be fine.”

  “This is so exciting! I’ll see you this afternoon, girlie!” She hugged me once more and then she was gone, leaving only a cloud of perfume.

  ***

  After school, as I was walking toward Brayden’s car, Derek ran into me, literally.

  He stumbled backwards and turned around, still laughing with his friends. When his eyes met mine, he fell silent. “Oh, hey, Jaicey.” He rubbed his hand through his hair casually.

  I smiled at him, looking at the pavement awkwardly. “Hey, Derek.”

  “How, um,” he looked back to his friends and then back to me, before leaning down and speaking softly, “how are you?”

  “I’m fine,” I told him, kicking a rock around. Walk away.

  He leaned down so that only I could hear his voice. “I know that you are his now, but I’m not giving up on us, okay? Five years isn’t going to be lost because of what happened. I refuse to lose you like this.” He gritted his teeth as the last sentence came out. I stared at him. God, he was gorgeous. Before I knew what was happening, his lips were on mine, his hands on my neck.

  I pulled away, my cheeks burning. “Derek!” I wiped my lips off harshly. “What do you think you are doing? You can’t just…kiss me like that. You have no right.”

  Before he could answer I turned and ran away, straight toward Brayden’s car. Brayden was nowhere in sight. I turned around to look for him, and when I finally saw him, my heart dropped. He had seen everything and now he was walking toward Derek, fists clenched.

  “Brayden,” I called to him, waving my hand to catch his attention. It was no use. His eyes were locked on Derek, his jaw tight.

  Derek, still watching me, saw that my line of vision was directed just behind him. He turned around to see who I was waving at, just in time for Brayden’s fist to make forceful contact with his face—again and again. Derek wasn’t trying to fight back. He fell to the ground, limp.

  “I’m sorry, man,” he offered, holding his hands up in an attempt to cover his face. I waited for him to swing back, to push Brayden away, but he never did.

  Brayden stomped his foot into Derek’s stomach and leaned down to his face, though I could still hear every word he said. “If we weren’t on school property, you can bet this would be a lot worse. You stay the hell away from her.” Before he stood up, he leaned down once more and spit straight into Derek’s face. Derek lay unmoving as Brayden strutted away, his face cold as stone.

  I had never seen Brayden so mad. He didn’t speak to me the whole way home. Once, I did try to speak, but he turned up the radio, deterring any further attempts. What he had done to Derek was hard to watch and it was harsh, but I knew he did it to protect me. He had seen what Derek did and knew how much it had upset me. He was just doing what he thought I needed. I couldn’t fault him for that. What really bothered me was how Derek hadn’t bothered to fight back. Derek was quite a bit bigger than Brayden, and it would have at least been an even fight, but he had just lay there. At the last second, as Brayden had been walking away, Derek looked at me through his bloodied eyes with only hurt shining through them. I didn’t see anger in his face at all. The complete opposite of Brayden. In that moment, his eyes were locked on mine with only sadness.

  When we pulled up to my house, Brayden turned down the radio and I turned to him, willing him to look at me. “Are you okay? Are we going to talk about this at all?” I asked.

  He grabbed hold of my wrist firmly, squeezing it until I let out a squeal. “I want you to stay away from him.” He threw my arm back at me. I tried to pretend it hadn’t hurt, rubbing my wrist gently as I climbed out of his car without a look back. I walked inside numbly, trying not to look at the spot where I could still feel his finger prints. I couldn’t tell my parents. It would only upset them. Brayden was just upset, and he had every right to be, but this would never happen again.

  I was lying on the couch, listening to Mom bustle around in the kitchen when I heard a knock on the door. I immediately jumped up, hoping it was Brayden. Instead, I saw wavy blonde hair and perfect teeth smiling at me.

  Mallory. Smile. “Oh, hey, Mallory!” I had forgotten all about the plans we had made.

  “Hey, girl! You ready?” she asked, looking into the house behind me.

  I just wasn’t up for hanging out with anyone. “Oh, actually, I totally forgot but I have to—”

  “Mallory?” I heard my mom’s voice behind me.

  “Mrs. Thomas! Oh my gosh, it’s been so long! Oh, what have you done with your hair? You look so pretty.” She beamed, pushing past me and gathering my mom into a familiar hug.

  My mom looked positively warm, hugging her back. “Me? Look at you. I’m so glad to see you. I’d hoped you’d start coming back around. I know we’ve all missed seeing you. What are you girls planning tonight? Will you be staying for dinner?”

  “Oh, I’ve missed you too. I was so glad when Jaicey agreed to squeeze me into her busy schedule, what with the new boy and all.” She squealed. “We were going to go out for dinner. Just to try and catch up, if that’s all right?”

  “Of course that’s all right! That’s just what Jaicey needs. Just remember, girls, it’s a school night. Mallory, please tell your mom I said hello. I hope you all have a great time.” She kissed my forehead and headed back to the kitchen, waving happily to us both.

  “So what were you going to say?” Mallory asked, her perfect smile still beaming.

  “Nothing,” I muttered, grinning smugly.

  She turned to walk out the door, pointing to her car. “Okay then. Let’s go!”

  ***

  When we arrived at Cecil’s, the local hangout spot, Mallory led us to a booth. “Wow,” she said, “feels like it’s been forever, huh?”

  I nodded, writhing my hands in my lap and praying I wasn’t showing how awkward I felt. “Yeah, forever.” Literally, because we’ve never been here before. Or wait…did I just not remember being here? The nightmare from the other night still haunted me. I couldn’t be sure if it had been real.

  A pretty, plump waitress came by our booth and took our orders. Mallory ordered a salad and a water. I ordered a burger and fries. She giggled at me. “Still haven’t lost your appetite I see. I always used to
envy that about you.” She looked down. I nodded. Everyone knew she was a recovering bulimic.

  “So, how’s Tyler doing?” I tried to fill the silence.

  “Oh, you know, he’s perfect. We’ve really been doing so great lately. I know we had some problems before—”

  Yeah, like him hooking up with the entire rest of the cheerleading squad for example.

  “But we’re really, really happy now. I really think I love him, Jaicey. Senior year has been so good to us. We’ve even been talking about getting a place together once we start college.”

  I nodded. “That’s good, Mallory. I’m happy for you. Tyler’s a really good guy,” I lied to her. I didn’t know Tyler at all, aside from the occasional jokes he cracked in Spanish class.

  She smiled at me as our food arrived and we waited for the waitress to walk away. She stared at her salad for a few seconds before saying, like it was a confession, “I just, I really worry about what will happen to us once we go off to college next year if we don’t go to the same one. He’s talking about going to Penn State, but I’d really like to stay around here. I’ve even thought about going to stay with my sister in Charleston. We’ll be so far apart, though, you know? I just don’t know if we’re ready for that. Living together seems like a good idea, right?”

  I shook my head, swallowing a fry. “You guys will be fine. I’m sure. You’ve always been fine. Even after…” I trailed off, not sure where I was planning to go with that statement.

  “Yeah.” She seemed to know what I meant, even if I didn’t. “I know.” She reached up and squeezed my hand on top of the table. I tried so hard not to let her see me flinch. “I’m glad that you’ve found someone to make you happy too, Jaice. I really, really am. I have to say, though, I really always thought you and Derek would be it. You guys were—”

  I cleared my throat. She stopped, looking pained.

  “We were what?” I asked her.

  “Nothing, never mind.” She took a bite of her salad carefully.