Love Survives: The BWWM Interracial Romance Collection (Volume 1)

by Dez Burke

  She’d let Tiana into her studio within her apartment and Tiana sat in a comfy chair nursing a coffee mug while Josie worked on a painting for a client’s young child.

  “You don’t think me too much of a degenerate for hiring a male escort, do you?” Tiana blurted, her cheeks pinking. She’d told Josie everything and her friend and neighbor hadn’t batted a single eyelid. Though Josie did look back from her canvas in surprise at Tiana’s blunt choice of words.

  “It’s not something I’d ever do but there’s no doubt I admire your guts,” Josie said, pushing up her trendy glasses higher on her rounded nose. She was very slender and petite, her skin tone several shades lighter than Tiana’s due to her mixed Eastern Asian and Trinidadian ancestry. Tiana had always openly envied Josie’s girlishly slight figure while Josie complained that she’d give anything to be able to put on some padding to match Tiana’s gifts in the curves department.

  “I know it’s far from common,” Tiana said glumly, staring into her dark brew. “I was just so desperate for a date and then I got in way over my head. I don’t know what I’ve been thinking.”

  “But you did say this Jordan fellow came highly recommended from a friend’s friend,” Josie pointed out as she went on with her painting.

  Her portraiture style was very realistic and Tiana couldn’t help admiring the adorable rendering of the cheeky child as it progressed.

  Deep within, she told herself how she hated being reminded that Jordan had been with other women in his capacity as a gigolo. She tried to convince herself it was similar to meeting someone who just happened to have a lot of ex-girlfriends or past lovers. But Tiana knew this was entirely different. She had men in her past too and most probably in her future but she didn’t indulge in casual sex with them. That’s what Jordan did and though she couldn’t judge him for it she still felt tortured that she was so drawn to him despite his way of life.

  “So we can definitely say you’re not the only one who’s tried it,” continued Josie with a sensible tone. “It’s probably not as popular a market as men using female escorts or call girls but the market exists all the same.”

  “I know that; of course.” Tiana sighed heavily, turning to look out of the window at the bright lights over the city showing from the high-rise apartment.

  Josie glanced at Tiana and then placed her brush down, wiped off her hands and came to sit on the arm of Tiana’s chair, her expression kind. “You aren’t really bothered about the hiring a gigolo part, are you? You’re more cut up about falling for one. So now what are you going to do?”

  Josie had hit the nail on the head, Tiana felt as she shook her head in confusion. “I don’t know if it’s really so much about falling for him but being so struck by him I find it hard to back away. I’m supposed to be attending a function with him next week and yet I’m itching with the thought that I shouldn’t be seeing him again knowing I’m not as immune to him as I should be.”

  “He’s really that hot?” Josie asked with interest.

  Tiana had to smile, though ruefully. “Even you couldn’t resist him.”

  Josie drew back with eyebrows raised high. “Hmmm hmm. I can’t deny I’ve always been curious about the black woman-white male dynamic,” Josie mused, rubbing her chin with impish contemplation. “Never really had the opportunity to be tempted but then there’s that one time seeing James Franco in cornrows got me really thinking: I’d do him in a heartbeat.”

  Tiana elbowed her playfully. “I’m serious here! Jordan’s just so…he’s different. I keep saying that to myself even though I can’t really explain how.” She sobered as she wrapped her hands around her mug. “It’s not even about the race thing – at all. That never came through as an issue even from him.” She closed her eyes briefly and just pictured him the way she remembered. Charming and self-assured with loads of savoir faire but not in an over-smooth way. And his touch – dear heaven, his touch…melted her down like a Dali painting.

  Tiana only had to close her eyes and she could see his face; lean-jawed and cleanly cut with slashes in his jaw when he smiled. His eyes were a blazing dark grey that could cut through her belly with just one look; his blue-black hair so thick her fingers twanged in need to run through the luxuriant locks. His chiseled nose; finely outlined and just as kissable as his lips. Damn, those lips. The things he did with them be it on her mouth above or below…Tiana felt a hidden tremor course through her veins at the memories.

  “I’ve never believed great sex should be a foundation for true emotion,” Tiana said softly, eyes downcast. “A man’s prodigious expertise in bed didn’t automatically buy him a place in a woman’s heart. I’m not saying I’m totally sure, but I feel in my heart that it’s more than just his hot bedroom skills that makes Jordan so captivating to me. I really wish I had the chance to explore where it could lead. But I can’t.”

  Josie regarded Tiana thoughtfully for some moments, before saying gaily, “Why don’t we go out tonight? Check out my new favorite bar and grill. Just picture it: monster burgers – I’m talking eye level size here, plus meatloaf and cream cheese mashed potatoes -”

  “Um…I’m not really hungry…,” Tiana began doubtfully but Josie held up her hand.

  “Now now, Tiana Cole, hold up lemme finish. There’re at least twenty prime beers on tap – and it’s playoff season so you’ll absolutely love the big screens. And oh, best of all it’s very dude-friendly. We’re bound to make some new friends.”

  She wriggled her eyebrows meaningfully, a grin splitting her pretty face. Tiana still felt tentative about socializing especially in her mood but she figured going out beat sitting around in her old sweats and tank going on and on about Jordan. Josie was genuinely fun to be with when they went on. She got along with anyone and had no problem at all meeting people especially guys. Besides they were both young and single so there really wasn’t anything to stop them hanging out in a bar and grill and having fun.

  Just the effort of dressing up and leaving the house gave Tiana something to look forward to though she wasn’t so sure about the ‘making new friends’ part – new friends meaning the male variety, of course. Tiana had been unattached for more than a half-year now but she still wasn’t enthusiastic about diving into the dating pool just yet.

  Giving Josie a smile, Tiana let herself get dragged to her feet. Looking sheepish, she said gamely, “Sorry if I sounded so needy – and I promise not to be a wet-blanket tonight. Let’s do this.”

  “Alright!” Josie hurrahed, patting Tiana’s shoulder firmly. “We’ll have you over your Jordan crush in no time!”

  It sure as hell felt more than a crush – how about a full-on obsession what with daydreaming about him all day and then fantasizing about him all night…But Tiana let Josie’s comment slide and went over to her place to get ready for their impromptu outing.

  Chapter Eight

  Jordan felt the blood course straight from his brain down to his groin at the sound of Tiana’s voice. She’d barely spoken five words, “Hello Jordan. It’s me, Tiana.” And already he got hard as a plank. Her cultured, smooth-lined voice did things to his senses no woman ever could. Just hearing her speak brought the stimulating visual of Tiana saying his name breathlessly as he’d fucked her face to face, bringing her to a headboard-banging climax.

  He was at his desk, and the moment he heard her voice on the line, he dismissed his secretary who’d been taking notes on some correspondence he wanted sent out to clients. Once the door shut behind her, Jordan rose and held the phone to his ear, looking out the window at the cityscape.

  “Hi, Tiana. Great to hear from you.”

  “Thank you.” She paused, and he waited, willing his cock to stop going crazy and diminish from its bulge that had his pants feeling too damned tight.

  “I know I was supposed to email you details about the event on Thursday,” she continued.

  Again she paused and Jordan felt like running his fingers through his hair in a state of disturbance. How the hell had he let t
his female get to him so bad? What was it about her? She wasn’t like any woman he’d ever been with but she already knew that. Was it just to do with the exoticism of being with a black woman? Some might look at it that way. Here was Jordan Hancock, having his first sample of some ‘brown sugar’ and he couldn’t get enough, right? She’d called him on Monday, just days after their first encounter, and he hadn’t hesitated to meet her for a few hours of sex. Paid for, no less. He remembered slipping the money he didn’t want or need into his pocket and feeling like an absolute shit yet telling himself at least, he was giving her what she craved.

  Yeah, sure. Jordan the Good Samaritan to sex-deprived women. How noble, he mocked himself. And the worst part was that if she suggested they meet up again, he knew he’d agree. He’d drop everything again and show up wherever she wanted, to whatever she wanted just to have her one more time. Even though it was all a farce; with him pretending to be what he wasn’t. But then was that so corrupt? He’d become what she wanted him to be for her. No one else. Wasn’t that enough to show he wasn’t a bad guy?

  “Tiana,” he probed when the silence went on and on. “Are you okay?”

  He was worried now. Was she about to call off the arrangement to join her for the charity event? He knew he should be relieved if she did. He still hadn’t figured out how the hell he was going to handle that improbable situation.

  “Yes. I’m fine. It’s just that…well, I didn’t have your email so I went back to the Gents4Ladies site and then couldn’t find your profile there anymore,” she explained in a sudden rush that made him stiffen. “You took it down. Why?”

  Jordan’s brain was trying to work on overdrive. What could he tell her? That he was retiring, getting out of the game? Or why not the truth? That whoever had his details registered on that site had apparently got bored with the prank and deleted the profile they’d set up? Would she believe him? Would she forgive him for whatever slight she might feel?

  Jordan wasn’t ready to admit to himself why it mattered what Tiana thought. “I had it taken down. I didn’t need an online presence anymore.”

  He decided to break it to her gently. And not on the bloody phone. But then she started speaking again.

  “Oh I see. I guess you’ve been getting so many referrals you wouldn’t need to advertise your services as much as before. After all I heard about you from a friend so…”

  Jordan’s eyes narrowed. So Tiana hadn’t just stumbled on his profile and picked him. Someone had told her about him. Jordan was sure he could get to the bottom of this whole fiasco if he could find out more.

  “A friend? Could you tell me who it is? Someone I might know?” He gritted his teeth holding in his impatience for the facts. Dammit he wanted to shake someone! Why would anyone have thought this was a good joke? It was fucking up his freaking life. He’d met this amazing woman he’d have loved to get to know better but it was all messed up because she believed he was a flipping male prostitute!

  “I’m sorry. She distinctly asked that I not mention her name. But you can at least know that she’s not a past client of yours,” Tiana said reluctantly. “Although she did hear glowing recommendations about you from others.”

  Jordan stifled a groan. Great, just great! He had a bunch of women out there claiming they knew him as a commendable gigolo. That was doing a lot for his self-esteem right now. Not. Someone was having fun at his expense and he didn’t like it. One bit.

  “I wish you could just give me a name,” Jordan pressed, his fingertips jabbing into his eyes as he winced. “Give me anything.”

  “I don’t know what to tell you. Does it matter whom I heard about you from? Perhaps the women would prefer to hold on to their privacy the same way as you would.”

  “You’re right,” Jordan said, calmly. He had to cool the fuck down. He could still get to the bottom of this but that was second place right now to what was between him and Tiana. That was all he could really focus on for the moment. “So what do you want, Tiana?”

  “I was wondering if you were still free for Thursday. The charity dinner is at the Ursula Beecroft center. It’ll be for a few hours and its black tie. The event’s to begin at seven pm and is billed to end before ten.”

  Jordan’s head flung back and he stared up at the ceiling. Moment of truth. What could he say? He paused a few moments and tried to think. Think, think, Jordan. You’re smart; you help your clients make billions of dollars every year on well-picked investments. You’ve got a foot-long list of clients to prove how smart and successful you are. What could be hard about thinking up a way to get through this mess you got yourself into?

  ***

  Tiana held her breath as she told herself she knew what was coming. Jordan was going to say no; she could feel it. Had he sensed something the last time? Could he tell she was getting too personally attached to him already? She must have let something slip; something she must have said or done gave her away. Now he was having second thoughts, reluctant to continue any interaction with her since this was meant to be just business. He couldn’t have clients getting too romantically attached to him. That would complicate everything.

  Tiana knew firsthand how complicated it had become. She had proof enough of that - considering she’d called to cancel the appointment. She’d planned to go alone after all, to end her dealings with the dashing, enigmatic gigolo that had managed to get under her skin. But then he’d answered the phone and another thing entirely had come out of her mouth. Pathetic. And damned complicated

  “Tiana. About the charity dinner on Thursday,” Jordan began, and the pen Tiana had been doodling with on her notepad grew more agitated as she waited.

  “It’s going to be pretty hard to explain,” he said with obvious reluctance. “I do want to attend this thing with you – but it’s not something I can possibly do as your gigolo.”

  “I understand,” Tiana said calmly, not really listening. She’d put up a self-defense mechanism the moment she’d heard the finalistic note in his voice. She’d known something was up from the moment she’d found his profile gone from the escort website. And now obviously he was done being her gigolo and she should be glad he was coming right out and saying it.

  She’d screwed up one way or another and being the astute man he was, he had been able to decipher that her feelings were getting involved. He wasn’t a fool; he was probably used to this kind of situation. A client acting too clingy and entitled – becoming too attached. He was wise for backing out and she had to respect him for that.

  “Look, its fine,” she cut in when he started to speak again. “It would have felt weird anyway. I’ll just move on to plan B.”

  “Plan B?”

  She could hear the sharp ring of curiosity in his voice. Tiana hadn’t really had any plan B but her pride was at stake here and she found herself saying airily, “Oh, I just meant about someone I met two nights ago at this trendy bar and grill. It’s been fun messing about with a male escort but maybe I should try getting myself some real dates for a change. You know, one that could actually get to mean something.”

  There was a silence and Tiana wondered why the hell she was going there. What would Jordan care? She was just being silly talking trash but the truth was she had met someone that night she’d gone out with Josie and he’d make a perfect date for Thursday. And he was well interested and kept calling her up to meet again. She hadn’t wanted to give him a second thought but now she was considering the possibilities.

  Tiana didn’t expect Jordan to reply but then he was saying, “That’s good. I’m happy our brief time together has been enjoyable and I hope you feel you got your money’s worth. And I’m sorry you think it would have felt weird to continue.”

  Tiana laughed, making it sound humorous and not as nervous as she felt. “You have to admit we make a peculiar match.” She was trying to be funny but she hadn’t really meant to bring up the race card. She had friends who were dating and even married interracially. She hoped Jordan wouldn’t notice the slip-up.<
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  Looked like he did. “If you knew we’d look peculiar together, then why did you choose me to take to the wedding? You could have picked a black escort or anyone who wouldn’t look so conspicuously mismatched next to you.”

  “Yeah well,” Tiana said, pen gripped tightly and scribbling gibberish on her pad. “I guess I felt like a white guy would really put my boss in her place – and I never thought it would go past the first night. Well, whatever the case it was fun, Jordan. I’m happy I had the experience. I wish you the best and nice knowing you.”

  Tiana hung up with her face burning and her heart pounding sickeningly. She’d never acted like such an ass in her life! It was petty and unworthy of her and she wanted to ring up and apologize – maybe even explain. She was grown up enough to face her emotions and it would have cost her nothing to tell Jordan the truth: that she was getting way too attracted to him and she’d understand why he didn’t want anything more to do with her for professional reasons.

  But the damage had been done. They were parting with him thinking the worst of her and maybe that was for the best. This would keep her from being tempted to call him up again, hoping to book a few hours more of his time. No way he’d ever be interested in getting involved with her again on any level.

  Wow. Dumped by her paid gigolo. Now if that wasn’t just the bottom of low. Tiana shook her head and almost wanted to burst out laughing. She must have been out of her mind, harboring secret wishes that somehow, she could ever be with Jordan for real. Deep down, she’d had that hope; somewhere at the back of her mind she’d imagined he must have felt it too. The way they’d connected like only few people could hope to do. There had been those things he’d said, that last time…when he’d told her he’d never met a woman like her. That she made him want to drop everything each time she wanted him. Well, so much for that, Tiana thought twistedly.