Broke and Famous

by Elizabeth Gannon

  “That’s your department, Darlin’, I’m just here to add a gentlemanly charm to your family’s business.” He paused for a beat. “And to keep the damn wolves away. I’ve got a Westgate breeding program goin’ now and I’m not about to let anybody risk that.”

  “We’ve got this.” She nodded, certain now and anxious to get to work. “The future is going to be fantastic.”

  Epilogue

  “So, I must be taken as I have been made. The success is not mine, the failure is not mine, but the two together make me.”

  - Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

  Kurtz Westgate hit the ground in a heap, letting out a startled gasp.

  He wasn’t sure how long he’d been falling or where he even was, but he was sure that it wasn’t in front of the Westgate building anymore.

  He was in a small clearing, surrounded by a thick forest. There were rocky mountains in the distance, and the sky overhead was… not blue.

  But at least his invention had worked.

  His father had doubted that particular gizmo, saying that nothing from an old cartoon show was worth spending a million dollars to develop, but Kurtz had seen the promise of the idea.

  Unfortunately, that didn’t mean he actually understood it enough to get home.

  And even more unfortunately, he was surrounded by aliens and some of the Triumph Industries security forces.

  He shifted on his feet. “This is awkward.” He finally said, feeling like someone needed to break the tension. He popped a cigarette into his mouth. “Hell of a day, can tell you that.”

  The tall red alien woman prowled towards him dangerously. “What did you do!?!” She screamed, stepping over the broken wreckage of her landing craft and assorted debris from the street in front of the Westgate Foundation building. “Where did you send us, you stupid human!?!”

  He lit his cigarette, then flicked his lighter closed. “Well, we sure ain’t in Reichelt Park, sweetheart.”

  From the forest around them, came a deep angry sound. Like a million monsters waking to find intruders in their midst.

  The woman immediately took on a defensive posture, preparing for an attack from all sides.

  He automatically took a step towards her, putting his back to hers. “I’ve been in these kinds of situations before. Way I see it, we’re either gonna kill each other Hunger Games style or…”

  One of the guards on the edge of the clearing let out a shrill cry and was yanked into the darkness beyond the tree-line.

  “Yep.” He nodded, expecting that. “Predator. Gotcha.”

  The trees around them started to move, the noise getting louder.

  “Aw, shit…” Kurtz took off running, pushing the red alien woman along with him. “RUN!”

  Author’s Note/Commentary on book

  “Growing up, Lizzy's favorite dwarf was Grumpy. Her favorite Care Bear was Grumpy. Her favorite Muppet was Oscar the Grouch. Her favorite Smurf was Gargamel. She voted for Cobra. She watched Return to Oz an unhealthy number of times. And she always named all of her toys after herself. Psychologically, I'm not sure what any of that means, but it's probably not good.”

  - My sister Cassandra’s description of me.

  Broke and Famous has a history which dates back to when I was writing The Mad Scientist’s Guide to Dating. I considered adapting Wuthering Heights in a similar superhero romance style, but ultimately I decided against it because I’ve always felt that the story structure of that novel is problematic. Plus, I’ve never especially liked Cathy as a character. I had some ideas for it though, which were almost included in the Pride and Prejudice section of the book as a cautionary tale (“Careful, Mary, or you’ll end up like the Westgates. And no one wants to be in the Window Seat Tribe.”), but I took it out because it would have placed the downfall of the Westgates into a definite time period, and since I wasn’t done conceptualizing it yet, that could be a problem. Generally speaking, I try to be careful with world-building elements, because once something is “built” it’s very hard to unbuild if you don’t like it. Unless you’re sure you want something right where you place it, it’s almost always better not to mention it at all.

  As time went on, the story began to take more inspiration from Southern Gothic romance novels from the 1990s (remember those?), maudlin 1960s movies about Southern family legacies dying off (see following: The Long Hot Summer, anything by Tennessee Williams, etc.), and 1960s science adventure comics. I’ve always liked the Fantastic Four, and I read an article about how odd it was that they were Marvel’s first real successful superhero comic and defined how a generation saw the medium, but now their movies bomb and their comics don’t sell. Their franchise has fallen on hard times and is no longer the biggest title around. And that idea tied back together with the idea of the fading power of crumbling Southern family dynasties. Because both were once the most important people in their respective communities, but now the world has left them behind. And I find that idea really interesting.

  To be honest, they’re all telling basically the same story. And I mean that. Once I started thinking about those genres as being the same, the book basically wrote itself. They’re both the story of the same family at different points in their lives. Their height and then their decline, and hopefully, their reemergence as a power. The only difference is that the vague “business” or planting in the traditional Southern Gothic romance novel or maudlin Southern parlor room drama, is replaced with over-the-top adventure science in the comic book style. But the family itself is basically the same.

  Oh, and I was also inspired by the song Worthless from The Brave Little Toaster soundtrack. Seriously, have you ever really listened to those lyrics? Jesus. It’s like animated cartoon cars writing their suicide notes and singing about how useless they are now, as they’re crushed to death in the junkyard. Literally, I’m not making that up. It’s so dark and depressing and cool. And it fit with the overall theme of a crumbling social group and a family on the decline, plagued by failure. I used to listen to it all the time when I was little, which my brother and sister think is creepy. But whatever. I liked the song. Sue me.

  As a romance genre, Southern Gothic stuff is moody, and languid, and depressing. With moral greyness, and incredibly inappropriate pairings which are frowned upon by the couple’s society. Scandalous and smutty. It’s a sordid, depressing little genre, filled with mystery and a sense of both looming danger and a change to the current order of things. We’re almost always seeing either a family on the decline, or a family which represents the old ways. They either control the town now or they once did. Our hero/heroine represents a new way of doing things, exemplified by their love interest, and is stymied by the guardians of the old. That kind of thing. Parlor room drama mixed with some mysterious “other” who has now arrived into their closed social sphere, and how that impacts their world. Oh, and it’s always hot. I don’t know why, but the heat is a vital plot-point in almost all good Southern Gothic novels.

  Science Adventure comics, on the other hand, are characterized by optimistic exploits (usually of a family or group), who are explorers rather than fighters. To put it into movie terms which readers might understand better than the comics themselves: Ant-Man is a Science Adventure film. Inner Space is a Science Adventure film. The 1953 version of The War of the Worlds is more Science Adventure than Science Fiction, and Ghostbusters, I’d argue, is a Science Adventure film. Science and how science can be used to solve life’s problems are the center of the drama, not necessarily fighting or super-heroics. Even if it’s not realistic science (that would be more Science Fiction), the science itself is still the vehicle which drives the story. That has a completely different feel than something like Armageddon, for example. Armageddon might feature science, but it’s simply as a background to the action. And it doesn’t go deeper into that science and the cool adventures which result from it, like something like Inception might do.

  As a genre, Science Adventure comics were really big in the 1960s.
Superhero comics were basically seen as unsaleable for years before that, but the Fantastic Four showed the comics industry how it could be done. Because it focused more on the characters and their dynamic, giving them real emotions and genuine problems. As time went on though, readers didn’t like the crazy science stories as much anymore, and the Fantastic Four fell out of favor, overshadowed and replaced by more traditional superhero tales, like the X-Men and Spider-Man. Even Batman began to rely more on his fists than his detective science in the modern era. Characters who were more counter-culture and rebellious became popular, while the Fantastic Four were hopeful and generally well liked by the other citizens of the Marvel Universe. This really drove down their popularity in reality, and Marvel actually stopped publishing them for a while. The movies tried to solve this problem by either making them over-the-top camp, or making them grim and gritty. Neither of these two interpretations understands that the core of the Science Adventure genre is, obviously, having a science adventure. Preferably with your family and friends.

  Today, I guess the main Science Adventure franchise in pop culture would be Rick & Morty, maybe? But that’s showing the dark side of the idea. It’s taking the 1960s concept of science as magic which can solve any problem, and showing the kind of fallout that would have on a life.

  And… I have no idea why I’ve just spent a page explaining this to you, since I seriously doubt you care. Most of you are just skimming now, I can feel it. But, in any case, that’s the cultural basis this book is drawing from.

  As for the book itself, Thraex has always been Thraex, but I sort of combined him with another unrelated character who never quite made an appearance in the Consortium series. He almost did a couple of times (it was actually all written out in an early chapter of Not Currently Evil, where he had a conversation with Oz in the hospital), but he didn’t really have anything plot related to do, so I cut him for time. But the older woman and student romance, and the Freedom Squad fight scene were originally that other character’s. But they work better with Thraex, so no matter.

  To be honest… I’m not sure Thraex’s decision on the machine was the correct one. I think some really compelling counterarguments could be made for using the machine in a responsible way. But that’s just not what he was going to do. He’s dead-set against it, so that’s where the story went. But if you want to view it as him making a whole lot of people continue to live out miserable lives here, then I think that’d probably be a fair read. He just wouldn’t care about that, because he’s a surprisingly optimistic and idealistic guy, deep down. I think that’s why he gets along with Oz.

  Sasha was not the heroine of this book in the beginning. I had planned to go with an alternate, more obstinent version of Colby, who would always be trying to regain control of her family’s legacy from Thraex. Our “forbidden romance” there would have been that he’s her older step-brother/uncle/whatever. I had it all planned out. And Sasha was going to be Colby’s depressed and kinda boozy mother, who had accidently killed her husband and son in a science accident and was now barely hanging on, for Colby’s sake. But as I was planning out her backstory, I randomly wrote out a conversation she was having with Thraex… and he was nicer to her than to any character in the story. WAAAAAY nicer, in fact. And that confused me, since he was exceptionally mean to everyone else, Colby included. But in the space of the four or five paragraphs where Sasha told him about her life, I realized that Thraex really wanted this woman. He respected her more than anyone else in the story. And I didn’t understand why he did that, so I took a couple of years off from the story so that I could decide on who the heroine of this book would be. Ultimately, I had to go with what Thraex wanted, since he was the leading man. If he wanted Sasha, then Sasha it would be. But it meant that I had to retool a lot.

  As a side note, Nash predates the rest of the cast. I wanted to add her to the cast way back in The Guy Your Friends Warned You About. And then I wanted to add her to Not Currently Evil, but decided against it because she wouldn’t have anything to do. But yeah, she’s been around a while.

  Fact check:

  - I’m not a “car” person. I don’t even drive, to tell you the truth. But I did do a lot of research on forward-thinking cars which would fit the Westgates well.

  In 1937, Pontiac did indeed produce a “Ghost Car” for the World’s Fair, with clear exterior panels so that people could see all of the interior parts of the car. It was otherwise a stock automobile just like you could buy in a showroom, but it still cost them $25,000 (almost $500,000 in today’s dollars) to produce. The car ended up being the coolest looking car you’re going to find, and there are some awesome pics of it online. I’d suggest checking it out, if you ever have a free minute. The car survives to this day and it sold at auction a few years ago for over $300,000. If one of my readers wanted to buy it for me, I’d promise to dedicate the next book to them. Just sayin. ;)

  The rest of the details about the Westgate’s old car come from the 1964 GM-X Stiletto. It was a concept car GM did to show the World’s Fair what cars of the future would look like. It did indeed have that many dials and switches, an aircraft yoke instead of a steering wheel, and the whole cab was hinged and opened up like that. The prototype was destroyed, but there are still photos of it around. Awesome looking car, if highly impractical, but also worth a quick peak if you’re bored and listlessly searching for something to do online. The engine in the prototype was not a V-12, obviously, but the facts given about engines of that size are accurate.

  - Sparko the Dog is real. It was built by Don Lee Hadley in 1940 for the World’s Fair. It performed basically as described in the book, with the exception of the fact that the real Sparko did not feature any kind of offensive weaponry.

  - Their Home of Tomorrow is based almost entirely on Disneyland’s House of the Future. It was exactly as described in the book, except the flatscreen TV on display there was fake and didn’t turn on. The interior of the little house is really nice looking though, if you like retro modern design. The workers’ inability to tear the house down is also real, but the real house was finally done away with in 1967, by squeezing it apart with heavy chains. The foundation is still in the park today though, forming the base of the Pixie Hollow Character Greeting area (right between Sleeping Beauty’s Castle and Tomorrowland).

  I did alter the kitchen for the Westgate’s version of the house though, because I prefer the look of the one seen in 1954’s “Design for Dreaming,” a short film sponsored in part by Frigidaire. Their “kitchen of the future" is so delightfully over-designed and impractical. I love it. It’s public domain now, and it’s on YouTube and is worth a look. Did I mention the entire thing is sung in opera and ballet? Oh yes. It’s the film that keeps on giving.

  And much like Thraex, I have no idea why Disneyland’s “House of the Future” was a separate attraction from Disneyland’s “Bathroom of Tomorrow.” That just makes no sense to me. The bathroom in question was a Disneyland attraction from 1955 until 1960, and it showed visitors… well, a bathroom. Not one they could actually use, mind you, as it was behind glass. They could look at it and *think* about using it though, which sounds terribly exciting. And yes, it was done in those garish colors. Why did I go out of my way to include that detail in the book? Because there was once something called “The Bathroom of Tomorrow” and people need to be told about this. Tell your friends.

  - Franz Reichelt is a real person, who died exactly as described. I wanted to include a tribute to an actual inventor who died testing their invention, since so many of the Westgates met that fate. Someone in 1912 actually filmed his jump for a newsreel, but I wouldn’t recommend watching it as it’s pretty brutal. There is no neighborhood in New York City named after him, sadly, but it’d be cool if there were. I have so much respect for people who believe in themselves that much, even if it ends up as a disaster. That’s how great things are done. So hats off to Franz Reichelt for trying to bring us all the future, at the cost of his own life.

>   - I was on vacation a couple years ago and wandered into a historic hotel in the middle of nowhere, and they had a gift shop very much like the Westgates. Complete with 20 year old calendars for sale (yes, I absolutely bought one and that’s not even a joke) and dust on the shelves. It was… odd. Like a place out of time. I was really inspired by that, I think. And by a 5 & 10 I used to visit as a girl, which had an old soda fountain in it, complete with stools and counter. But it was all closed off and never opened during my lifetime. The old 5 & 10 became a real estate agency a few years ago, so there’s no chance of ever sitting at that counter and having a meal now.

  - The Jungle Road Builder is real too, it was shown as a concept at the World’s Fair in 1964. Which is just… wow. I want to drive that horrible, horrible machine. It’s like someone set out to design something that should be used to fight Captain Planet.

  - It would indeed take you 38 minutes to fall through the earth.

  I have no idea why they’re named what they are. Usually I go for good old-fashioned superhero alliteration or references to something when naming characters. In this case though… no, I don’t remember them meaning anything. Well, except for Kurtz, but that’s a really obscure tribute and it surprisingly has nothing to do with Heart of Darkness. And Baxter, obviously. And there are a couple of other names I chose for specific references, but Thraex, Sasha, and Colby mean nothing, as far as I remember. And most of the other names I used are just generic Southern Gothic staples, because what else would they be named?

  Alternate names for the Westgates that I tried and then rejected: “Atwater,” “Devereaux,” and “Dixon.” Sasha was going to be named “Grace,” “Truth,” or “Alison”