by T. A. Foster
“What? What are you so mad about?” He scratched his head. Sure she was adamant about her sex policy, but all rules were meant to be broken. He tried another approach. “Doesn’t it turn you on to do something that’s just a little forbidden?” He traced her collarbone with his index finger and watched the chill bumps form along her skin.
“I think you need to leave, Ben.” She shirked back, dropping contact with him.
For a second he thought she was joking. No woman had ever thrown him out of bed before.
“You’re kidding, right? We’re having a good time. What’s wrong?” He just wanted to go back to the part where he had her purring and rocking under his hand.
“Because I was stupid to think you were somehow different. I told you this isn’t a game to me. All you’re interested in is sex. You’ve made that clear.”
“And you’re not? Don’t act like you haven’t loved every second of this. You can’t wait for me to undress you.” He stood from the bed and retrieved his clothes. He had undone the agreement, but he thought they were on the same page. She wanted him. “I thought if we had sex now I could prove sooner that I can stick around. I’m not only interested in sex. There is more to me than that.” He pulled his T-shirt over his head and shoved his arms through the sleeves. Now he was getting worked up.
“That is the most backward, twisted logic I’ve ever heard. I should ‘fuck’ you now, as you call it, just so you can prove to me you’re not interested in sex? Get out.” She pointed to the door.
“No problem.” He zipped his jeans and walked to the bedroom door.
He was halfway across the room when his phone started to ring. He glanced down to see who was calling and didn’t hesitate to answer. “Faith, you ok? Hold on a second.” He covered the phone with his hand.
He kept walking, knowing he left Skye naked and angry on the bed. Dammit, Hollywood was right. He wasn’t cut out for this relationship shit. He slammed the door behind him. It didn’t feel good thinking that was the last time he would see Skye Stephens.
“Sorry, Faith. I’m here.”
“Say that again.” Kari spoke the words slowly.
“We were in the middle of a fight, or kind of at the end of a fight, I guess and some girl named Faith called. He answered the call and then he left.” Skye called Kari as soon as Ben slammed the door behind him. She didn’t know what else to do.
“But you told him to leave?”
“Yes, but I didn’t think he would leave-leave. I thought he would apologize, or turn around and say ‘I’m a jerk. I shouldn’t have pressured you, or broken our agreement.’ Something. He could have said something.” Skye slouched into the pillows against her headboard.
After Ben left, she washed her face, brushed her teeth, and threw on one of her frumpier pajama sets. She felt anything but sexy after that fight. What she felt was stupid. The fight didn’t have to escalate like that, but she couldn’t believe the words he used. It made everything they did seem cheap and dirty.
“Kari, I’m afraid he never thought of me as anything but a conquest. And now I know there’s some other girl in the picture. He’s probably with her right now. I’m an idiot.”
“Want me to come over? You don’t sound so great.”
“No, thanks for the offer, though. It’s not like we’ve been seeing each other that long. It was only twelve days. I’ll be fine by morning. I guess you were right after all.”
“What do you mean?” Kari asked.
“You told me to beware of the Miramar pilots, and you were right. I should have listened.” She thought back to last Friday night. “I did pick him up in a bar. I should have known better.”
“I think you should look at this as a positive experience.” Kari’s voice rose.
Skye rolled her eyes. “Are you going for the Pollyanna approach? How can you possibly spin this?”
“You did something outside your comfort zone. You got out there and had fun. Just think if you actually started dating. Let me set you up with someone. I know the perfect guy.”
“Uh-uh. No way. There’s a reason I don’t date. Guys like Ben Hardcastle.”
Kari sighed into the phone. “All guys are not like Ben. Come on, one date. One teeny, tiny, innocent little date with a gentleman. He’s someone I know, so there’s no way he’ll be a jerk. What do you say?”
After what had just transpired in her bed, it was hard to think of opening that door again. “I’ll think about it. That’s all I can commit to right now.”
“I guess that’s understandable. But I’m not giving up.” Kari sounded triumphant.
“I wouldn’t expect you too.” Skye giggled, relieved to know she still had a sense of humor.
“Well, if you can’t sleep call me back, ok?”
It was midnight. Skye hoped as soon as she turned off the light she would be asleep. “I will. Thanks for listening.”
“Anytime. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”
“Night, Kari.”
Skye plugged her phone into the charger on the nightstand and reached for the lamp. It had been a long day. From the weird exchange with Greg, to the blow up with Ben, she couldn’t get a handle on which way her emotions were drifting.
It was impossible to turn her mind off. Was what Ben said true? Did she want him to undress her every time she saw him? Did she somehow lead him to believe they still didn’t have twenty days to go on the time-table? She exhaled, angry that he was making her doubt herself and irritated she thought there might be something to his accusations.
It didn’t matter. He left. He walked right out that door, and probably straight to Faith, whoever in the hell she was.
Faith opened the door. An oversized T-shirt hung off her shoulder and her blond pixie haircut shot in all directions. Mascara streamed down her face.
“Come here.” Bolt pulled her against his chest.
“I—I didn’t know what to do.” She sobbed into his shirt.
“Hey, it’s ok. You can call me anytime. You know that.” He let her cry a few more seconds before unwrapping her arms from his waist and leading her back to the living room.
It never got easier being here. He told Faith he could handle it, but he couldn’t. His chest tightened and a deep hollow opened in the bottom of his stomach. This was Riggs’s house. His best friend. His family. And he was gone.
“What happened?” He handed her a tissue and watched as she blotted her cheeks.
“I don’t know. I was going through some of his stuff in the closet today. I was thinking I needed to start packing it up or giving it away. It’s not doing anybody any good in the closet, right? And really I was doing great. But then I got ready for bed, and I looked in the closet. His side was empty, and I just lost it.”
Bolt prepared himself for the waterworks. Faith was a strong girl, but losing Riggs had chipped away at some of the resilience she once had. He knew it would tear Riggs’s heart to shreds if he saw her like this.
“I’m sure that was hard.” Bolt looked around the room. “Where did you put all his stuff?”
She sniffed. “I made piles. I even made a box for you, if you want it.”
Bolt felt the hollowness almost swallow the rest of his organs. All he could handle right now were the dog tags. He couldn’t bear to go through any of his friend’s belongings.
“Maybe I can pick it up later,” he suggested. “I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”
She nodded, but he wasn’t convinced. Tears seeped from the corners of her eyes every time she attempted a smile. “I’m fine, Ben. Really, you can go back to whatever hot date you were on.”
He shook his head, remembering the way he left Skye. “No hot date. I’m here for you. That’s what Riggs would want.”
She clasped his hand. “Charlie would appreciate all of this, but he wouldn’t expect you to drop everything every time I call. I’m embarrassed I called you so late. I’m a mess.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. I wouldn’t have it any other way,
ok?” He tapped the top of her nose with his forefinger.
“Ok.” She smiled.
“How about I take the couch tonight and maybe you can get some sleep? I’ll be right here if you need me.”
He could tell she was about to protest, probably out of customary response, but she nodded. “Thanks. I think I would sleep better.”
Bolt followed her to the linen closet in the hall and took a blanket and spare pillow from her.
“Night, Faith.” He wrapped a free arm around her shoulder.
“Good night, Ben.” She walked down the hall and closed the bedroom door behind her.
He sighed as he spread out on the couch, adjusting the pillow behind his head. This wasn’t the first night he had spent in Riggs’s house, but it had been awhile. He thought Faith was doing better. He thought he was doing better, but seeing her tears tonight brought a fresh wave of guilt. He hadn’t checked on her lately. He hadn’t stopped by to see if she needed help fixing anything, or if her car was running. Hell, he wasn’t her husband, Riggs was, but he had tried to fill in for his best friend by doing handyman things whenever he could.
Faith always seemed to cheer up when he was around and that made him feel better. Tonight was like she had gone back two years. The grief on her face brought back the pain from Riggs’s death.
Bolt stared at the ceiling. Sleeping on the couch wasn’t much, but he vowed to check in with her more and keep an eye on her. His deployment started in four weeks, until then he would be here for Faith. That’s what Riggs would want. He owed him that.
Skye took a bite out of her sandwich, and sipped her diet drink. Children ran in front of the bench she had acquired. One of the perks of her job was that she didn’t always have to be tied to her desk, though she knew she was guilty of clinging to it more hours than most people would.
“Mommy, please can I get an ice cream? They have zebra striped kind and leopard spotted chocolate flavor. I’m sure they have your favorite too.”
Skye smiled at the little boy. He couldn’t be more than six, but he had already perfected the art of parent persuasion. His mother smiled at him before nodding and chasing him to the stand around the corner. That little boy was fast.
Skye was at the zoo. Greg hadn’t backed out of their agreement. It had been a week since he had offered it to her, and she kept waiting for the strings that were attached to whip her back to reality. He was up to something. She just couldn’t figure out what.
The night Greg offered the zoo file made her think about Ben. She hadn’t heard from him since he left her apartment. After the way the argument played out, she didn’t expect to, but it didn’t keep her from being disappointed that he didn’t call. In only twelve days she had fallen for his baby blue eyes and laugh. She just liked being around him, and she really loved kissing him. He made her feel things no other man had shown her. It was hard to forget nights like those.
She sighed. Kari had convinced her to go out with one of her friends from college, Dave.
Dave sounded like he would be a good date. He was an attorney and lived in La Jolla. They were supposed to meet for dinner Friday night. Skye knew her heart wasn’t in it. She was going through the motions to appease Kari. In the back of her head she hadn’t given up the idea Ben could call. Didn’t he want to apologize?
She looked down when she heard her phone ring, but the sudden surge of hope was stomped out when she saw her mother’s name on the screen.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Honey, they’re here. They’re watching me, and I just need a place to go. Can I come stay with you?”
“Wait. Slow down, Mom. Who is after you?” She tucked the rest of her sandwich in her wrapper and waited for the story.
“You know who. I told you they were watching me. All the time. Watching.”
Skye took a breath. “We’ve talked about this before. There is no one watching you. You are perfectly safe at the house.”
“I can stay with you though, and they won’t know where I am. California’s so far away and so big.”
“No, no, Mom. You can’t stay with me.” Skye thought about the last time her mother visited. They only left the apartment a few times. Her mother accused her neighbor of stealing coupons from her, and tried to claim that she had lost a dog. Skye’s mother never had a dog.
“Why won’t you let me visit? What kind of daughter are you?”
“I’m the kind of daughter who is working and can’t take time off right now. I’m planning a trip to North Carolina in the summer. Remember? We’re going to go to the beach and Aunt Rose is going with us.”
“Summer’s so far away, honey. I’d really like to drive out to California. I’ve never seen the country that way.”
“Drive?” Skye panicked. “You can’t drive here. It’s three thousand miles away. Just wait and I’ll be there before you know it.” Skye’s aunt hadn’t called in a long time, so she was under the impression her mother’s paranoia was under control. Clearly, she was wrong.
“I can drive, Skye. And if it’s the only way I can get out from under them, I will.”
“Who is ‘them’? Just tell me, and I’ll get them to leave you alone.”
Her mother laughed on the other end. “If I knew that, it wouldn’t be a secret.”
Skye watched as the little boy proudly marched in front of her, his zebra cone dripping on the pavement. She wondered why life had to be so complicated. Why did her mother have to have a mental illness that robbed her of her sanity? Why couldn’t she be the mother she was when Skye was growing up? Why couldn’t she just take her medication?
“Right, that makes sense, Mom.” She didn’t know what else to say. She had hundreds of conversations like this one with her mother. With no siblings, it was on her to make sure her mother was ok. Aunt Rose was her biggest ally, but even she had her own children and husband to worry about. “Why don’t I call Aunt Rose and see what we can work out? How does that sound?”
“I guess that sounds alright.” Her mother hesitated. “You’ll call her?”
“Of course I will, as soon as we hang up.”
“Ok. All right, honey. I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye, Mom. Love you.” Skye tapped the red bar to end the call and rolled her head back. She saw a gondola rider skim over the trees above her.
This was why she needed the serenity of the zoo she thought. It brought a sense of peace to her otherwise spiraling family life. Her mother was on the other side of the country and every month seemed to be losing more of her grip on reality. Skye knew the inevitable was closer than she had planned. She was going to have to move home before the end of the year.
She picked up her phone and dialed. “Aunt Rose? Hey, yeah just got a call from mom and I need your help.”
“How does this look?” Bolt steadied himself on the ladder, keeping one finger on the painting. He tried to figure out what the shapes and colors made.
Faith giggled. “Good. There’s no way I could hang that thing by myself. Thanks, Ben.”
He let go of the corner, careful not to let the frame scratch the wall. He descended the ladder until both feet were on the floor.
It was some kind of abstract piece Faith had fallen in love with at an auction. Not only was she an art teacher at a middle school, but she was also an art connoisseur on the side. The house was full of sculptures and paintings.
“How about a beer? I bought a case of that stuff you like.” She nodded toward the kitchen.
“Actually, I have to get going.” He checked his watch again. “I’m meeting the guys. We’re testing out a new pilot.”
He collected his tools and stacked them in the bottom of the box. He had been by her place almost every other day for the past week. The toilet no longer leaked. The pantry shelf was level. The dishwasher didn’t stop mid-cycle. He felt pretty good about checking things off the broken and busted list.
Faith’s smile dropped. “Oh, ok.”
Bolt wished it were the kind of event he could le
t her tag along, but it was a vetting process for the squadron. There were strict rules on the closed nature of the interviews.
Faith needed to get out more. Other than teaching and her weekend outings to scout undiscovered art, she had become a recluse. It couldn’t be healthy for a girl as young and cute as her to hide from the world. But, he knew that wasn’t really his call to make. Riggs would want him to keep an eye on her, but her personal life was none of his business.
“Maybe another time.” He picked up the toolbox. “I’d invite you to go but—”
“No, you don’t have to explain.” She held up a hand. “I remember when Charlie rushed the squadron. He said I couldn’t come within five miles of the bar. I know the drill.”
Bolt chuckled. “Yeah, there is a no guest policy.” He reached for the door. “Can I do anything else before I go?”
“Ben, you’ve done so much.” Her eyes started to mist.
“It’s nothing.” He wanted to leave before she started to cry, but knew it would make him a total asshole if he left her with tears on her cheeks. “How about one beer? I’ve got time.”
“Really?” Her face lit up.
Bolt placed the toolbox by the doorframe. “I’m right behind you.” He followed her along the hall and toward the kitchen.
He paused in front of a picture of Riggs and Faith on the wall. It was one of their honeymoon shots from Hawaii. “I’m looking after her, buddy,” he mouthed at the photo. He shook his head hoping to God his friend would appreciate everything he was trying to do.
Faith twisted the top off a beer and placed it on the table. “Ok, so what’s the latest on your love life?”
“What?” Bolt choked on the beer. “I didn’t know I was going to get interrogated.”
“Hey, it’s me. I’m basically your sister. What’s going on? Any girls?”
Bolt tipped the beer back, letting the cool liquid slide down his throat. “There was one.”
“Was? What happened? She couldn’t handle you?” Faith giggled.
He shook his head. “No, I think I screwed it up. I’m not used to dating. I’m used to—”