Now that the wound was open his repressed feelings on the matter spilled out. “The old bastard wouldn’t let his new dream family be shattered. He said that I was only doing it to make us all unhappy. He even told me that if I pursued you, your life here would be ruined. I knew he would make sure of that, and I couldn’t do that to you.”
“Are you saying you left because of me?” Her expression said it all. She was incredulous.
There was no point in denying it. “Yes.”
“Rex, no.” She looked shocked, disturbed even. She turned away, looked back. “We wondered why you left, and I thought you got fed up because...” She gave him a sidelong glance. “Well, you know, we’d taken over your home.”
“I tried really hard to be what he wanted me to be, for your sake. I didn’t want him to punish you just because I couldn’t play your brother. Right until the end of the year I stuck it out, then I lost it. I did try. At that age, I felt I could deflect it by being with someone else. But no other woman could drive you out of my mind for long.”
She shook her head. “That Christmas was your last visit,” she whispered.
Rex nodded. That Christmas, when he’d told his father he would not participate in his fake family scenario any longer, and then he’d bedded Amanda out of sheer frustration. “I talked to him again. Told him I didn’t care whether he liked it or not. He was angry. He said that I’d ruin your life. I had to walk away. I didn’t want him to reject you, as well, because it was more than a stepdad for you—you’d have lost your mum, as well, and he told me he’d make sure Sylvia knew. It spilled out, right through the house.”
“You never came back. Because I’d seen you with Amanda, I thought it was because you wanted other girls instead of me.”
“No.”
Her hands went to her face, and she covered her mouth. It twisted the knife inside him. She was shocked. More shocked and upset than he thought she would be.
“Rex,” she whispered. She looked shattered. “I’m so sorry. I never knew that it was my fault, that I’d come between you and Charles.”
“Christ, no, it wasn’t your fault. The old man ruined everything for everybody.” He sighed. “It’s ironic, but I never expected him to leave me any part of it, not after I walked out on him that way. But he must have come to terms with the fact that it was you I had to leave, not him. None of this meant anything to me, not without you.”
He swallowed hard. In saying it aloud he’d admitted things he’d never truly acknowledged before. “I couldn’t live with those boundaries, not when it came to you. I refused to compromise, refused to play the happy family.”
He was going to say more, but suddenly she was right there in front of him and her hands were resting on his chest as she looked up at him, her lips softly parted as she studied his expression. “Rex.” Her voice faltered when she reached up and stroked his hair back. “Oh, my God, Rex. I had no idea.”
The contact was good, and she was soft and warm. It made him want to share it all, the deep subconscious thoughts he’d refused to acknowledge over the intervening years. “Walking away from him was about walking away from what he wanted—the ideal family he’d never had. With you and Sylvia here, he got closer to something he’d always dreamed of, and when I came back I was expected to fall in line and play the dutiful brother. But believe me, that was the last thing I wanted to play when it came to you.”
He gave a gruff laugh. “Selfish bastard. He couldn’t impose his will on me that way. All he cared about was having the perfect family and he didn’t care whose emotions he screwed with.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? You should have told me back then. When you walked away you didn’t even say goodbye. I thought you didn’t care.”
“I cared too much. That was the problem. And I didn’t want to say goodbye. Not ever.”
She’d reached out for him. The way she touched him, the way she looked at him, made him want more.
“It was my fault.” Her frown deepened, her expression deeply regretful.
“No, it wasn’t. It was his fault.”
The way she stared up at him, lips softly parted, expression disbelieving, moved him, and he closed one arm around her waist. “I was crazy for you.”
“That’s why you never came back?”
He nodded.
“Oh. Rex.”
“It’s okay. I got over it. Although I never got over wanting you, but you know that already.” He smiled at her.
She didn’t respond with words. Instead, she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him, her hands wrapping around the back of his head as she did so.
For a moment all Rex could do was experience it.
She was holding him so tightly. Her hands on his head, then on his back, clutching at him. There was no resistance and no resentment. She wanted him, openly, eagerly. Her hands were all over him, her kisses hungry and desperate.
“Please, make love to me,” she begged as she broke the kiss.
Rex lost the ability to think rationally.
Grappling with his clothing, she tugged him against her, kissing him again. He reacted. A few steps and he had her up against the work surface that she’d been sitting on earlier. His cock was hard for her. He tugged her skirt up, groaning audibly against her mouth when he felt her bare buttocks, the slender line of lace that rested between them a flimsy barrier.
Lifting her, he rested her onto the wooden surface. He put his hands on her knees, swinging them apart. Carmen shoved her panties down and he tugged them off. Tossing her hair, she maneuvered closer so that she was on the edge of the work shelf, ready to receive him.
Rex held back, looked at her for maybe ten seconds to absorb her eagerness, and then his hands were back on her, one on her hip, the other reaching between her thighs to stroke her there.
Her pussy was warm and damp in its crease, and his cock grew stiffer still. At the base of his spine, the muscles grew taut. When he opened her up, her clit stood out, a firm ridge under his thumb.
She moaned loudly. “Please, Rex, I need you inside me.”
He didn’t need any more encouragement. Undoing his belt, he was ready in a flash. Before his jeans dropped, he pulled a condom packet from the pocket.
“You should have done this to me, right here, all those years ago.”
The surge of power that swept through him when she said that made him desperate to be inside her. “I couldn’t agree more.”
Carmen took the condom packet from his hand and opened it. She leaned over and purred her approval when his cock moved readily into her hand. The touch of her fingers on his erection—so eager and willing—made him whisper her name. He wanted her so badly it hurt.
She tore the condom packet open, even while Rex moved one finger inside her. She was so wet that the movement of his finger made a sound. Rex nodded at her, and pushed another finger inside.
Rex’s cock jerked against his belly, and his hands moved on her soft thighs. Her hips undulated. “Let me get this bloody condom on, Rex.”
He huffed a laugh.
She got the condom into position on the head of his cock, and slowly rolled it on. Then she grabbed him with her hands around his head and kissed him passionately, one hand then guiding his erection to her, her body wriggling onto the edge of the surface to give him access.
Rex was against the work unit, the head of his cock just inside her.
“Give me more,” she begged.
“Whatever you want.” He clutched her around her hips, manipulating her as he gave it to her an inch at a time, stretching her open to take his full length.
Whimpering, her hands dug into his shoulders, her body clasping him tightly. His cock was home, deep, pleasured. Rex widened his stance for balance.
She rocked her hips, her spine straightening, her mouth open in a ru
sh of pleasure, a loud moan escaping her. She bore down on him, pivoting on the edge of the work unit.
He cursed. The hot, moist grasp of her flesh on his was pushing him into another level of experience. Her fingernails roved over his back, sparking his libido. He had to hold on to her. He ran his hands down her spine, and curved them around her buttocks.
“I wanted you so badly, and I never knew,” she said, her tone needy, echoing the eagerness he felt in her every move.
Rex had to fuck her harder. He grasped her around the waist, and eased her upper body back so that she lay back on the work surface. In that position, her cunt felt like a fist around his cock.
Ragged sensation shot up the length of his spine. With effort, he focused on her, stroking her splayed pussy. Pleasure pulsed from his cock as he rode in and out in shallow thrusts.
It was intense, almost painful, his balls aching for release.
“Oh, oh. So good.” Her voice was garbled as she tried to get the words out, and her hands reached for him.
Her body was primed for him, and seeing her that way made something inside Rex fracture. “I’m going to come soon. You’ve got me.”
“More.” Her head rolled back. Her body undulated, and she gripped his shoulders for purchase while she moved against him, fucking him hard, encouraging him to let rip.
He gave a husky laugh and found his rhythm, thrusting in and out of her, the muscles in his arms and neck cording with effort.
“Oh, fuck,” she cried out. “This is too much.”
His cock seemed to get even harder when she said that.
Carmen moaned, indicating that she felt it, too.
Rex shifted, sliding out and then in again.
The hot fist of her cunt closed around him, rippling as she came, hot juices spilling from her sex. Her whole body vibrated and her moans were long and loud.
“That feels so damn good,” Rex whispered. It was because she wasn’t submitting this time, and that was key. She was mirroring his lust, equaling it, and after his confession, that hit him hard.
She lifted her head and locked eyes with him.
He thrust deep again, then paused. “Never felt anything like this.”
His chest grew tight. Tension was fast building in his balls. He exhaled loudly. The room seemed to darken completely while his balls tightened and released, and pleasure exploded through him.
He reached for her, holding her, encouraging her to put her arms around his neck, staying inside her for as long as he could.
* * *
THAT NIGHT CARMEN didn’t go to sleep. Instead, she lay there in Rex’s arms while he slept, facing everything that had been revealed.
He’d been so honest, and every aspect of what he’d told her had shocked her. Rex seemed to think she’d known, or had guessed. How could she have known? Should she have guessed? No, not after Amanda. That was a cold slap and it would have appeared that way to any woman. And Rex never attempted to get in touch afterward, to explain.
Most importantly, Charles Carruthers had shielded her from the information. It all fell into place now. Every time she’d asked about Rex, Charles simply told her that Rex would rather spend time with his mother during vacations, and then he changed the subject.
Knowing how much Rex had wanted her, and how he’d tried to defy his father’s expectations, made her heart ache. It also made her desperately needy for him, unable to shield her emotions. Hard lust had come upon them fast in the wake of his confession, as if fulfilling the past had removed some ghostly barrier that still stood between them.
The significance of the evening’s revelations was immense for them both. She’d seen the truth of their long withheld desire for the first time. She understood why he’d slept with Amanda. The truth had come out and it had created a new dynamic between them, resulting in unbridled mutual passion.
But for Carmen it also brought a new set of fears and complications.
Guilt swamped her. It was her fault that Rex had been disinherited as a youth. Charles had gone back on that and changed his will more recently, thankfully, but the rift between father and son was because of her. No matter how Rex tried to turn the blame on his father, it came down to her.
She’d broken their bond.
It made her want to hand the house over to him, fully, as recompense. But he didn’t want it, not really. He’d lost it all because of her, but that’s not why he’d come back. Rex admitted she was the forbidden fruit he always wanted.
He’d also revealed so much else. Clearly the battle with his father was still important to him. “The old man couldn’t stop me forever,” he’d whispered. “When I heard the will, I saw the way to do what should have been done a long while ago.” He laughed, as if he’d won some old game that was still being played with his father.
Carmen squeezed her eyes shut. Why hadn’t he just found her after she’d left the manor? It wouldn’t have been hard to do. An email. A phone call. No, it had just cropped up. The opportunity was suddenly there and he wanted to win his oldest game of all. The confession had revealed that deeper truth.
In a while, he’ll move on. Just as he always did, leaving a trail of heartache in his wake. He didn’t want the house; he wanted to defy and beat his father, even after Charles had reneged on his promise to disinherit him.
Carmen closed her eyes and savored his strong arms around her and the feeling of his warm breath on her shoulder, because she knew it wouldn’t last. Precious as it was, this moment was all the more transient because he’d now achieved the lingering goal his father had forbidden him.
And the house? For a while there she was sure she saw him begin to love the place again. At the party he’d seemed proud. Even that first weekend, she could see his expression change as he looked around and familiarized himself. But now she saw the truth of it. He’d never expected to inherit, and he’d only used it as a ploy to get the one thing that he did want, to get one over on Dad.
And I’ve let myself become emotionally involved. Reel it in, she told herself.
CHAPTER TEN
REX ALWAYS WOKE early. Previously he’d left Carmen sleeping, but he couldn’t, not this morning. He kissed her awake.
She jolted and blinked.
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”
“I fell asleep,” she murmured. “I didn’t think I would.”
“I didn’t want to sleep, either.” He kissed her shoulder. “Knowing you wanted me, and the way you were last night.” He could hear the hoarseness in his own voice. “It’s made everything different. It’s made it so much better.”
She looked at him, her eyes wide and yet strangely unreadable.
He drew her fingers to his lips, kissing them. “There’s so much I want to do with you. I could spend a lot of time this way.”
She tipped her head back and eyed him warily. “Last night was about the truth of the past.”
“And now it’s out we can enjoy each other and make up for lost time.”
“For two more weekends after this one, yes. Our arrangement can’t go on indefinitely.”
Rex didn’t want to hear that. “Of course it can.”
He shifted and kissed her neck, tenderly grazing her jaw with his teeth.
She sighed deeply, then grasped his head between her hands, stilling him. “Ever the privileged playboy. You’re just trying to get more out of this deal than we agreed. Typical Rex, greedy and demanding.”
She was still thinking about the deal? That surprised him. Was it still just about that for her, even though they’d discovered the truth together, the night before? Unwelcome doubts crowded in on him.
Was that why she liked him to take charge? Because she was only doing it as a means to an end? If she was engaging in sexual role-play in order to endure the deal, he had to know. A memory wh
ispered in his mind. Her voice. “Easier, this makes it easier.”
“Not at all.” He responded cautiously, warily lifting his head to look at her again. “But there’s something I do have to know. It’s been bugging me. Why the sub act? Why the whole role-play thing?”
Carmen stiffened in his arms.
Before he had a chance to undo that, she pulled away from him and sat on the edge of the bed with her back to him. “So, I call you on being a greedy playboy and you turn it on me and make me feel embarrassed about my sexuality. Nice.”
He reached out and rested his hand on the soft curve of her hip. “No, for fuck’s sake, Carmen, no. I want to know everything about you, especially now that things have changed between us.”
She rose to her feet and wandered the room.
Why was she pulling away now? Was it the question about her submissive nature or something else? What else had he said? The suggestion of more time together than what was originally agreed upon. Of course. She didn’t want more than that. Other than the bloody house, of course.
Frustration ratcheted inside him.
What the hell was it about this woman? He stared at her, both irritated and offended. Never had a woman resisted him like this. If one would have, he’d have simply shrugged and moved on. Why did it have to be her, the one he really cared for? It annoyed the hell out of him.
Carmen walked away across the room, naked. The bright morning sunlight behind her body made her seem even more surreal and unobtainable than ever, slipping her in and out of focus.
She was looking for clothing.
Rex didn’t want her to dress. He leaped out of the bed and crossed the room to her side. Grasping her wrist, he drew her to him. “Why? Why were you like this with me, why did you let me dominate you?”
The Burlington Manor Affair Page 14