Lonely This Christmas

by Krissie LaBaye

  “Ah ah ah oh oh, it’s just my jealous mind,” the kids sang out loudly as they rocked and swayed to the beat.

  All of a sudden Judy realized that Ian was staring into her eyes as he was singing. She felt her cheeks getting hotter and hotter; and she hoped that the multi colored disco lights would prevent him from noticing that both of her cheeks were now glowing. It was as though they were the only two in the room, and the experience was beginning to make her feel somewhat nervous. As the song was coming to an end Judy hoped that Ian would ask her to dance again, and before the next track had been introduced by Mr. Keddy, Ian had already posed the question.

  “Well, kids the night’s nearly over, so before our final two tracks, here’s one for the teachers to thank them for the hard work they’ve done organizing this disco tonight. Let’s hear three cheers for the teachers. Hip Hip,” began Mr. Keddy, as the entire room completed the interjection.

  “Hooray,” shouted the kids who were eagerly awaiting the ‘teacher’s choice’. They didn’t have to wait long, but there were gasps of amazement followed by mournful protestations as the song began.

  “I’ll have a blue Christmas without you,” warbled Elvis.

  At first there was a collective shout of “Oh no, Sir.” But as the song continued, one after another teenager shrugged their shoulders, as if to say “Why not?” and began to dance along to the music. Before long everyone seemed to be enjoying the melody, and very soon a myriad of new dance styles had been created. Many of the teachers began coupling up and waltzing slowly around the dance floor. It was the moment that Judy spied Mr. Thomlinson the woodwork teacher floating round the dance floor with Mrs. Stokoe the newly divorced cookery teacher, that she realized that teachers were human after all. Waltzing wasn’t Ian’s style, but he pulled Judy close as they smooched on the spot barely moving their feet.

  When the song came to an end it was Miss Aitken’s turn to introduce the final two songs which would be played one after the other.

  “First,” Miss Aitken announced, “we’ll have The Rubettes, followed by the best song of the year in my opinion. I’m not going to tell you what it is, but I’m sure you’ll agree when you hear it. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for coming, and the teachers would like to wish all of you a very merry Christmas. Don’t forget to take your belongings with you, because the school will be closed until after the Christmas holidays. Thank you.”

  Miss Aitken looked rather flustered and was wobbling slightly from side to side. Whilst handing over the microphone to her fiancé' she kissed him on the cheek and moved closer to his ear.

  “I love you Mr. Keddykins,” she slurred quietly, before discovering that the super sensitive microphone was still switched on. The two mortified teachers stared at each other, gritted their teeth and waited for the inevitable humiliating response. Almost immediately there was a chorus of laughter, before one very brave voice shouted out.

  “Go on Sir, give her a kiss.”

  Mr. ‘Keddykins’ threw caution to the wind and planted a huge kiss on his fiancées bright pink lips. A collective cheer echoed around the room, and the penultimate track began to play.

  Ian and Judy were still on the dance floor, and as Judy glanced around the room to see what had happened to Elaine, she spotted her laughing and giggling with Kevin Walker. She also noted that many of the occupants of the grand school hall now looked as though they were aboard a large ocean liner which had no stabilizers.

  “How about giving me the last two dances, or are you too tired?” pleaded Ian in a teasing manner.

  “No, I’m nowhere near too tired,” replied an increasingly cheerful Judy. Judy loved The Rubettes and wanted to make the most of every minute of this most special evening. As for the last song, she was sure that Miss Aitken would have chosen something really special to finish off the evening.

  As ‘Sugar Baby Love’ began to play everyone joined in, including Ian. They gazed into each other’s eyes, and Judy had been smiling so much this evening that her jaws were aching. She was in heaven and she didn’t want the night to end; but soon it would. As the song moved on, some clapped while others did their own little routines. Judy and Ian, however, were in a world of their own and totally engrossed in each other. It was just getting to the talky bit of the song, and Ian rested his outstretched arms on Judy’s shoulders before tilting his head slightly to one side.

  “People take my advice; if you love someone don’t think twice,” mouthed Ian as he stared affectionately at Judy.

  Judy giggled and before she had time to say anything, Ian kissed her directly on the lips. Momentarily stunned and embarrassed Judy looked around quickly to see if anyone had noticed, and although she was sure she saw a girl looking at them from the corner of her eyes, for once she was too happy to care. When the music ended Ian and Judy hugged each other for a moment, then unlocked their embrace and waited for the finale.

  When the final familiar baritone voice followed by the harmonious accompaniment emerged from the giant wall speakers, there was a loud chorus of aahs throughout the school hall.

  “Bom, bom, bom, bom, ooh oohooh, ooh, oohooh, ooh oohooh, ooh, bom, bom, bom, bom.”

  Boys and girls hurriedly jockeyed for a place on the dance floor, before they were too late and there was no room left.

  “You wanna dance?” asked Ian, although he already knew the answer.

  “Ooh oohooh, ooh, oohooh, ooh oohooh, ooh. Try to imagine a house that’s not a home; try to imagine a Christmas all alone…” Mud sang.

  ‘Lonely This Christmas’ wasn’t an old song, but it sounded like it could have been written decades earlier. It was one of those songs that once you’ve heard it you can’t stop humming it, and it was one of those songs that would trigger a memory every time you heard it.

  Once again Ian began to sing every word directly to Judy, who was now totally mesmerized by his eyes. He wasn’t the most brilliant singer in the world, but he was making her feel like the most important person on the planet. As they danced on the spot he pulled her close, offered her his shoulder to rest her head upon, and sang gently into her ear.

  When the song had come to an end, the large strip fluorescent lighting was switched back on and the rainbow of disco lights were turned off. The party was over, and already the teachers were filling the large black garbage bags with discarded plastic cups. A couple of girls sat in one corner clutching empty plastic cups, heads resting on each other, eyes tight shut. Their slouched forms looked somewhat undignified, and their matching wine colored platform boots lay discarded by their feet. When Mr. Smith the sparsely haired geography teacher tried to wake the snoring teenagers, he was greeted by some rather large grunting noises.

  “Uh… I think I’m going to be sick,” moaned one of the girls, before the other girl beat her to it.

  Totally oblivious to the fact that the room was slowly emptying, Ian and Judy were still embracing. They suddenly found themselves to be quite conspicuous. The couple were soon rewarded with a very loud wolf whistle from Kevin Walker, just in case there was anyone left that hadn’t noticed them.

  “Whoop, whoop, go on girl,” giggled a slightly tipsy Elaine.

  “Are we heading for home, Judy, or have you got other plans?” Elaine asked as she nudged Judy and winked at her knowingly.

  “I’m not sure,” Judy replied; glancing at Ian first and then back to Elaine.

  “Well, Kevin why don’t we all go together? We can walk you two home first, then I’ll walk Judy home,” suggested Ian in the same subliminal manner he used when we wanted to get his own way at home.

  “Fine by me,” shrugged Kevin; who was secretly slightly disappointed that the vodka he’d poured into the fruit punch hadn’t delivered quite the fireworks he’d been hoping for. Still, everyone had had a great time it seemed, and who knows maybe he was somewhat responsible for the unusually chilled out teachers this evening.

  Clanking their heels along the ghostly school corridor, the foursome st
rolled down the staircase and out of the school building. They were met by the cold frost air of a December evening. Almost immediately the quartet began to shiver, but not one of them was wearing a coat. They took turns to complain about the cold night air, before agreeing that they should have listened to their parents. Judy in particular was minded to the conversation she’d had with her Mother before leaving home.

  “You’re not leaving hear without a coat, young lady,” insisted Judy’s Mother, Catherine, as she held out the purple and black checked woolen winter coat that she’d just bought for Judy. Catherine had picked out the coat herself, as a surprise for Judy; but although it was fine for trips out with the family, Judy didn’t want to wear it to the school disco.

  “Yes Mum, it is December, and yes it is freezing, but it’s just not cool to wear a coat when you’re going to a party; it’s what old people do,” protested Judy as she hurried to check her hair in the hallway mirror.

  “Well, don’t come crying to me if you catch a cold and have a nose like Rudolph this Christmas. It’ll be your own fault for not listening to your mother,” Catherine backed down as usual, which was just as well as Judy was already half way out of the front door.

  Catherine was used to backing down. After seventeen years of marriage to Judy’s dominating father Ronald, she knew that there was little point in digging her heels in. Anyway, most of the time she preferred to opt for the more harmonious option, which was to give in quickly. At least now, if Ronald saw that Judy had been out without a coat, she could truthfully tell him that she had tried to persuade their daughter to wear one. Of course, Catherine would still have to put up with her loud mouthed domineering husband telling her, ‘she was far too soft with everyone’, and that she should ‘put her foot down and stop being a doormat’; but she would bite her tongue and resist the urge to tell him that, ‘it was him that had turned her into a doormat in the first place’. Being drip-fed insults and put downs over the years had stripped her of any of the self confidence that he kept insisting she should display.

  By the time Elaine and Kevin had been dispatched at the end of their respective streets, Ian and Judy were frozen to the bone. With his arm around her shoulder, they both shivered constantly as they chatted about the forthcoming school holidays.

  “I don’t know what’s on, but do you fancy a trip to the cinema next week?” Ian asked, as though he were suddenly overcome with first night nerves.

  “Yes, I’d love to,” replied a bemused Judy. Was this the same Ian who had serenaded her in front of a large room filled with both friends and strangers? He sounded quite timid now, and she found this sudden change of demeanor rather appealing. Confidence was great, but she knew there was a fine line between confidence and arrogance. The fact that Ian appeared to have a gentle side, after all, set him apart from the other boys.

  As they reached her front door, Ian wrapped his arms around Judy and began to kiss her gently. Her instinct telling her that someone was watching them, Judy glanced to the window, to witness her mother spying through the gap in the floral living room curtains. When Catherine saw Judy had caught her, she darted away from the now twitching curtains. Fearing that her mother might tell father what she had witnessed, Judy quickly made her excuses and invited Ian to call round to see her the next day.

  As she danced through the front door Judy was met by her mother holding her finger up to her lips, gesturing her to be quiet.

  “Shh! your Dad’s asleep. No point in wakening him; you know he’s cranky when he wakes up. Get yourself up to bed; I turned the electric blanket, so you can thaw out. Now don’t you wish you had worn a coat?” whispered Catherine with a wry smile on her face.

  “Thanks, mum, love you,” Judy whispered, before pulling off her unloosened platforms, picking them up, and tip toeing up the stairs.

  Once in her bedroom, Judy quickly changed into her nightclothes and climbed into her delectable warm bed. So this was what falling in love was like, she reflected. Going through the evening’s event moment by moment Judy relived the night she would remember forever, before drifting off into a deep sleep.

  Chapter Twelve

  Judy opened her eyes and realized that she must have fallen asleep with the bedside light still on. She wasn’t quite sure when she had drifted off to sleep; but she was grateful that she had got through till the next morning without even a hint of a nightmare.

  Although she had awoken feeling comfortable and relaxed, it wasn’t long before she was off on another guilt trip. Thoughts buzzed around in her head, and while she easily asked herself the same old questions, Judy still wasn’t sure of the answers. Should she go to the reunion? What if Ian was there? What if Ian wasn’t there? Was she being disloyal to Bruce? Should she have been spending more time remembering Bruce, who she married and spent a happily married life with; rather than Ian, who she had loved and lost all in the space of a few years?

  This last question prompted her to recall her Grandma Brown’s attempt to console her when the relationship with Ian was unequivocally accepted as being over, for good.

  “Never mind love; better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Plenty more fish in the sea, Judy,” Grandma said.

  These words of wisdom did little to help matters, and Judy sobbed as she spluttered out her response in between the wails.

  “But who wants to cuddle a cod? It’s not better to have loved and lost; I’m never going to fall in love again, Grandma, it just hurts too much.”

  The crying lasted for days and the broken heart lasted for almost a year. Then after a suitable mourning period Judy commenced to get back on with her life. Eventually she met and fell in love with Bruce, and the rest was history.

  This last short session of reminiscing had inadvertently provided some of the answers Judy had been searching for. She would go to the reunion. She hoped that Ian would be there. If Ian was there, she would show him that she had got on with her life, and she might even go as far as to give him a piece of her mind for breaking her heart all those years ago.

  All she had to do now was go on a Sunday spending spree with Elaine, pick up a stunning outfit that would make her feel a million dollars, then count the days until the reunion.

  Chapter Thirteen

  By the time Elaine and Judy had entered the eight woman’s clothing boutique, their feet were aching. They must have tried on just about every available style and color in the latest clothing trends, and they were fast running out of options. There is a time in one’s life when clothes have to be chosen carefully, and for Judy and Elaine that time was now. Too young looking clothes and they would look trashy; too old looking and they would look dowdy.

  When the girls reached the third floor women’s clothing section, and spied the mannequin at the end of the aisle, both girls squealed in unison like two teenagers at a live pop concert.

  “That’s it, Judy, that’s the one.”

  Approaching the mannequin Elaine quickly grabbed the price tag and reeled back from the shock.

  “Go on then, how much is it?” asked Judy in eager anticipation.

  “You don’t want to know, honey. Anyway, this is an investment in our happiness, so you can’t really put a price tag on it. You know that old expression ‘live now, pay later’? Well I say, ‘buy now, pay for the dress later’, laughed Elaine, reaching into her purse and pulling out her credit card. Judy had become a lot more cautious with her spending in recent years; whereas Elaine would use a spending spree as a form of medicine, a pick me up, or just plain old revenge when Danny had pushed his luck too far.

  The vision of beauty that stood before the two grinning women, was a knee length ‘illusion dress’, with a sweetheart neckline, and long lace sleeves. The brilliant 21 century invention of the illusion dress allowed women who weren’t blessed with the perfect figure to look amazing. In this instance, it was a deep red body with black panels to the sides, and ornately designed black lace sleeves. It was feminine enough to look classy, but not so rev
ealing that it would make them look cheap. Discovering that there were two color options was just the icing on the cake.

  “How would you feel if I tried the cobalt blue, Judy?” Elaine asked as she held up the cobalt blue and black option. “Just say no if you don’t like the idea. I won’t mind; I’m sure I’ll find some other dress that’s nowhere near as nice as this one,” she whined whilst sticking out her lower lip like a child, in a transparent attempt to feign unhappiness.

  Elaine wasn’t fooling anyone at all, least of all Judy, but there was no need. Judy wasn’t the type to worry about being dressed alike. Indeed, she found it quite reassuring that someone with Elaine’s impeccable taste loved the dress as much as she did. It was settled, and soon the two fifty two year old women were taking it in turn to do a ‘catwalk’ stroll along the full length of the women’s changing rooms.

  With the dresses bought and paid for Judy knew exactly where they would find the perfect new shoes to match their new outfits. She didn’t generally like spending her leisure time in the place where she worked, but she had already seen the perfect shoes and she could take advantage of her staff discount to bring the price down a bit.

  “Oh pinch me, Judy, I think I’ve died and gone to shoe heaven,” Elaine called out, while she wobbled her way past the Christmas shoppers, clutching multiple shopping bags in both of her hands. She let out a loud gasp as she reached the display of glistening party shoes. Dropping her bulging shopping bags at her feet she grabbed a shoe and held it to her face.

  “Oh, I love you,” Elaine murmured gently; clutching the cobalt blue satin platform stiletto to her lips and feigning a kiss.

  “You’re mad, you are,” laughed Judy.

  “I know, but who cares?” Elaine responded; now realizing that most of the nearby customers were watching her antics.