“It was a Constitutional Amendment passed in California to ban same-sex marriages,” Tweedle Dum said solemnly.
“Why, that’s abhorrent!” Alice proclaimed. “People should be able to marry whomever they want to!”
“We agree,” said Tweedle Dee. “But this country is still firmly stuck in Puritan times when it comes to sex. Did you find the Walrus and Carpenter poem offensive?”
“No. I thought it was lovely. Though the meter was off a few times.”
“It’s a hastily written parody,” said Tweedle Dum. “No one is trying to win a Pulitzer here.”
“There’s no danger of that happening,” said Alice. “But I do have to ask you something. It’s about my boyfriend, Lewis. I dumped him because I caught him wearing my underwear.”
Tweedle Dee gasped and fainted, falling into Tweedle Dum’s arms. Then Tweedle Dum stood him back up, and he gasped and fainted, falling into Tweedle Dee’s arms. They repeated this an irritating number of times until Alice wanted to club them both to death.
“Enough!” she finally demanded.
“You hate us, because we’re gay!” Tweedle Dum decried.
“No, I hate you because you’re annoying little bastards. How about trying to teach me about tolerance instead of playing around?”
“Dear Alice,” said Tweedle Dee, his face a picture of serenity. “Human sexuality is a strange and beautiful thing. No one knows where we get our preferences. Could be our genes. Could be early life experiences. Could be from viewing too much Internet porn. Sexuality, no matter what type, is completely natural as long as there is mutual consent. But when we start condemning others for their choices? That’s evil.”
Tweedle Dum pointed a finger in Alice’s face. “It is none of your business where I stick my dingus, unless I’m trying to stick it in you.” He sidled up to her, slipping a hand around Alice’s waist. “Is that something you’d like?”
“I… I… I don’t know,” Alice stammered. “What about diseases?”
“We’re both regularly tested. Plus we use condoms.”
(Of course, in Alice’s fantasies, no one actually used condoms, but in real life, she recognized the need for them and was very responsible.)
“I… I thought you were gay,” she said.
Tweedle Dee shrugged. “We swing both ways.”
“But, aren’t you married?” she asked, looking at their ring fingers and seeing gold bands.
“We just told you we swing.”
Oh yes, Alice had learned about swinging from the kings and queens. “Do you only use the missionary positions?”
“Were you sent by the Red Queen? Are you here to spy on us?”
Both the Tweedles’ members shriveled and shrank right before Alice’s eyes, like helium balloons on a cold day.
“Heavens, no! The Red Queen banished me to the courtyard.”
“But you’re not in the courtyard now,” Tweedle Dum said.
“I escaped with The White Queen’s help. I’m trying to expand my mind so I can become a queen myself.”
“When you’re a queen, will you regulate fantasies and sex acts?”
“Heavens to Betsy! No, of course not!”
“You’re not judgmental about the sexuality of others?”
“A thousand times no! Why would you even think something like that? I am very open-minded and tolerant.”
But either Tweedle Dum or Tweedle Dee didn’t believe her, or the specter of the Red Queen’s rules had frightened them deeply, because both of their members hung flaccid and sad beneath their bellies.
Then Tweedle Dee (or perhaps it was Tweedle Dum) said something that made Alice feel even worse. “You do realize that the only people who declare they are open-minded so adamantly are those with closed minds, right Alice?”
Alice didn’t know how to answer that, so she looked down at her pumps and tried not to cry.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I don’t want to be closed-minded. And I feel terrible that I’ve ruined your charmingly curved erections.” She sniffled. “Is there any way I can I help you get them back?”
Tweedle Dee looked at Tweedle Dum, and Tweedle Dum looked at Tweedle Dee.
“We have an idea,” the said in unison.
Alice brightened. “You want me to suck one of your stiff quarter rolls while the other one slides into my slot of riches from behind?”
“No,” said Tweedle Dee. “I’m afraid that won’t cut it.”
Disappointed, Alice pondered for a moment. “I know! You want to stick one of your love rockets into my bottom while the other one plunders my secret garden with his shaft of pleasure?”
“No,” said Tweedle Dum. “I’m afraid that isn’t good enough either.”
“And also,” said Tweedle Dee, “Your euphemisms are annoying. Why must you purposely be annoying, Alice?”
Now Alice was getting frustrated. Again she found herself wanting to kill the odd little Tweedles, but due to the lingering heat of Gnat’s teasing and her own lascivious suggestions about what she could do with their charmingly curved members, she didn’t want to bludgeon the strange little men any longer. Now she wanted to hump them to death.
Alice unbuttoned her thin white blouse and cupped her breasts together, nipples jutting excitedly at the duo. “How about mammary intercourse?”
“Don’t be silly,” the Tweedles said.
Alice stood there, feeling like an idiot, holding her bare breasts in her palms. “What then?”
“Stand there, just like that,” said Tweedle Dee.
“Just like that, except spread your legs apart,” said Tweedle Dum. “And lift your skirt.”
Alice did as they asked, tucking the front hem of her skirt into the waistband to reveal the shaved area between her legs. She still felt a little silly, but that was overridden by the anticipation of what they might do, now that her breasts were bare and her thighs were open.
“Now what?”
“Watch.” And with that, Tweedle Dee took ahold of Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dum took ahold of Tweedle Dee, and with two strokes of each other’s lengths, both the curve up and the curve down were stiff as could be.
“Are you ready now?” asked Alice, and she spread her legs farther apart, the cool air caressing the (very!) wet heat between.
“Keep watching,” said Tweedle Dum, and he fell to his knees and took his partner’s shaft deep into his mouth.
Tweedle Dee moaned, and his eyes turned back a little in his head.
Alice pinched her nipples, rolling the sensitive nubs between her fingers as she watched the show, wondering when they’d get to her.
Dum cupped Tweedle Dee while he sucked and licked and did all manner of appealing things with his (very!) talented tongue. And as he bobbed and weaved, putting his energy into the task, his own member bobbed and weaved and swayed heavy between his legs, and Alice found herself wanting desperately to take him into her hands.
“Don’t,” said Dee, as if reading her thoughts. “We’re not at all ready for you yet.”
So she stood there while they traded places, Tweedle Dee doing the sucking and flicking and bobbing and weaving, his curved upward tool stiff and glistening and hanging temptingly like delicious fruit waiting to be eaten.
And Alice slipped one hand from her breast and glided her fingers into the wetness between her open thighs.
Now the two returned to penis fencing, rubbing one hard length against the other. And as Alice caressed herself in small circles and played with one soft mound of breast, she could feel building that sense of pressure and heat and emptiness. And she was looking at two things that would be perfect to fill it.
“May I please?”
“Please?” said Tweedle Dee.
“Please, please, please?” begged Alice.
“Please, please, please?” echoed Tweedle Dum.
Alice had no idea what else to say. In all honesty, she’d never had to try too hard to get men interested in making love to her. Never had to try at al
l, really. Not on either side of the looking glass. And now she was standing in front of these two erect and ready shafts with her nipples protruding and her special place dripping with want, and these two men she’d hadn’t even found attractive refused to let her touch them.
And yet, she wanted nothing more. Somehow, while watching their coupling, these unappealing little men had become very appealing indeed.
This land through the looking glass really was a backward kind of place!
She cleared her throat. “May I please put your long, hard cocks in my mouth and lick them with my tongue?”
The Tweedles stared at one another and then looked back to her. “Certainly! Why didn’t you ask that in the first place?”
And although Alice definitely should have felt put out and frustrated and longing to kill them both over that last remark, instead she got down on her knees in the green, green grass and began to lick the two crossed shafts as they rubbed against one other.
She ran her tongue over Tweedle Dee’s ridge and underneath to his swinging sack. Then she worked her way back to the place where they crossed and lavished her attention on Tweedle Dum. Pretty soon she couldn’t tell Dum from Dee or Dee from Dum, it just seemed like one big pleasure pretzel that existed simply for her pleasurable pleasure.
Each man grasped a breast and played with her pulsing nipples. Tweedle Dee would moan, then Dum would moan. Tweedle Dum would groan and then Dee would groan. With each flick of Alice’s tongue, the men would respond. Each lick of their balls, they’d bellow like elk.
Finally Tweedle Dum caressed her hair, causing her to look up at him. “Let’s try this,” he said, and he poked the tip of his shaft between her lips.
She took the down curve in her mouth, sliding all the way to Dum’s root. And while she sucked and played with her tongue, the up curve’s head rested against her cheek, as if waiting in turn. After several strokes, she moved to the other, working back and forth between the two. Then she took them both, their heads rubbing one another inside her mouth, their tastes mixing and mingling into an intoxicating cocktail.
Sweat slicked her skin and her breasts bounced and swayed and her nipples brushed against the men’s legs. If her mammaries could talk, they would have asked to get in on the fun, but since that was ridiculous, even on this side of the looking glass, Alice had to see to their satisfaction herself.
She took one man’s shaft between her mounds, licking as his head surfaced, then plunging him down to be encased in her flesh. The other moved around behind her, and she could feel her short skirt lifting, cool air quivering over her wetness, and an upward curve probed her slick opening.
Alice spread her thighs wide and reclaimed the down curve with her mouth, and Tweedle Dee sank into her, filling her just as she’d imagined while using her rabbit in front of the mirror.
“Oh, that feels so good,” she said, then sucked Dum hard.
Tweedle Dee gripped her hips and started pumping, his balls slapping her sensitive nub with each plunge.
“Now this is fun!” Dee called. “Are you having fun, Alice?”
“Mmmph,” came her best reply.
“Yes, this is fun,” said Dum from above her. “Are you enjoying yourself, Alice?”
“Mmmph,” she answered again.
But if they could understand her words, they would have heard her say, “Oh my heavens, yes!” Because with a cock in her mouth and a cock in her slot, Alice was having a WONDERFUL time. And all of her reservations about them being gay or being round and unattractive or being annoying as all hell seemed petty and silly and nothing but a distant memory.
When Tweedle Dee got tired, he sat down on the grass. Alice climbed upon his lap, and sank onto his stiff upturned pole. Then Tweedle Dum stood over Dee, his manhood thrusting into her mouth.
“Oh, what a view,” rhapsodized Dee. “Dum looks so sexy thrusting into your sweet mouth. I can see his balls swing against your chin. Don’t you think that’s a lovely view, Alice?”
“Mmmph.”
Tweedle Dum stared down at Dee. “Oh, what a view,” he said, “I can see Dee driving up into you and making your tits buck like you’re in a rodeo. Don’t you think that’s a lovely view, Alice?”
Alice pulled her head back and glanced up at Tweedle Dum. “Look, you want me to talk, or suck?”
“I’d vote for the sucking,” helpful Tweedle Dee offered.
“Agreed,” said Tweedle Dum. “Please get back to it, Alice.”
“Gladly.”
Alice took him as deep into her mouth as she could, all the way to where her tonsils would have been if they hadn’t been removed when she was seven. Soon she found the perfect rhythm, sucking on Dum while bouncing on Dee, her breasts jostling freely and the pressure building inside her like a boiler about to explode.
And so she did, the feeling growing and growing until she couldn’t ram down on Dee fast enough or suck Dum hard enough. And she shattered and screamed out, and wave after wave of orgasmic contractions hit her.
When the waves of ecstasy ebbed, she grabbed ahold of Tweedle Dum’s love handles and sagged against his legs.
“You’re not tired, are you, Alice?” he asked.
“You’re not tired, are you, Alice?” echoed Dee.
And together they said, “Because we have a lot more fun in store for you.”
So although Alice was tired, she couldn’t deny they were still hard. Really hard. And if she’d learned anything in her time beyond the looking glass, it was that she had to do her best to pleasure others if they took the time to pleasure her.
“Bring it on, boys,” she said with a smile.
And they did.
They tried all manner of combinations, those three in the field that day. Dum on Alice and Dee on Dum. Dum on Dee with Alice underneath. Alice sucking Dum and Dee sucking Alice.
And the best part? Alice was pretty sure none of it was approved by the Red Queen.
Finally Alice lay back in the grass almost too tired to move, and Dee and Dum were on either side of her, kneeling on the grass, their members still hard as could be and stretching full length over her when Dee announced, “I’m ready to come.”
“I’m ready to come, too,” agreed Dum. “And I have a grand idea. We just need you to do something for us, Alice.”
Alice propped herself up on her elbows and eyed their everlasting erections. She’d lost count of her orgasms, but these two odd little men had given her so many that she felt limp as a dish rag. Still, she wanted this to be just as fabulous for them as it had been for her, even if she wasn’t sure how she’d find the strength to see them through.
“What would you like me to do?”
“Just take off your blouse and lie back in the grass, Alice dear,” said Dee.
That sounded like a grand idea, and Alice shrugged the open blouse off her arms and relaxed in the grass. “Now what?”
“Now raise your skirt to your waist and spread your thighs wide,” said Dum.
Alice did as he asked.
Dee looked down at her exposed center and nodded approvingly, his upturned shaft following the bob of his head. “Now pull your arms tight to your sides and fluff up your tits.”
“Fluff them up?” Alice repeated. “How do I fluff them up?”
“Kind of squeeze them together a little with your arms.”
“Yeah,” added Dum taking hold of Dee’s hard member and stroking. “Make your nipples point right up at us.”
“Yeah, like they’re begging,” Dee said, grabbing ahold of Dum.
Alice did as she was asked, her arms acting a bit like a pushup bra. Her mounds surged together, looking and feeling more voluptuous than she ever remembered. Her nipples were incredibly hard, but Dee and Dum pinched and teased them anyway, until they strained upward, as if (indeed!) begging to touch the men’s vigorous poles.
“Now bring both hands between your legs and touch yourself,” said Dee. “Make yourself come.”
Alice hadn’t been sure she cou
ld make herself come again, as tired as she was, but all this tit fluffing and nipple begging was making her feel hot and wet all over again. She slid her fingers on either side of her clit, then dipped two fingers into her special place, clit, special place, clit, special place, imagining it was both the Tweedles penetrating her at once.
Above her, the Tweedles pumped one another with their hands. Faster and faster their fists flew, one curving up and one curving down, until one and then the other began to thrust with his hips and moan.
And then Alice started moaning too, the quiver between her legs escalating as she watched the curved shafts and tight balls bob above her. And a wave of ecstasy crashed over her, seizing her muscles, and shuddering and quaking, and she didn’t stop but pushed for another.
And then the Tweedles cried out, one after the other, and their essence streamed from their stiff rods and kissed her breasts, warm and glossy and smooth. And then they were rubbing their hardness over her, cock against nipple, slick skin against slick skin.
And another wave crested and crashed, and Alice added her cries to the mix.
And when they were done, Alice knew without a doubt what her nipples had been begging for, because it was exactly what they got.
“Well, thank you for a wonderful time, you sexy gentlemen,” she said, still out of breath.
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum each wiped off a breast, taking great care to flick and pinch and toy with her nipples while they were doing it. “You have lovely feminine parts, Alice,” said Dee.
“Thank you,” said Alice.
“Yes,” said Dum. “All your parts are quite lovely.”
Alice sat up, but the two kept wiping, their members thick and ready once again, only this time Dee’s was turned down and Dum’s was facing up.
Curious.
“Have you ever thought of showing off your lovely parts with a bit of sparkly jewelry?” Dee asked.
“Oh my, yes. That would be divine,” concurred Dum.
Alice remembered Rose’s sparkly nipple rings and the beautiful golden gleam brightening Daisy’s clit.
“It would be beautiful, that is for certain, but I’m not sure I’m daring enough to try something like that.”
Fifty Shades of Alice Through the Looking Glass (Second Book of the 50 Shades of Alice Trilogy) Page 6