The Happiness Show

by Catherine Deveny

  ‘Jules,’ said Lizzie, filling their glasses with wine, ‘I like the way you think. Seriously. You are coming from a place of love and logic and I’m grateful for it. But we are dealing with unbridled lust here. Nothing logical, nothing tameable. When you’re hot you’re hot and you’ll do whatever it takes. Think about that second before you come. You will do anything to resolve the situation.’

  ‘That might be true, Lizzie. But just think about whether the bang is worth the buck.’

  ‘I will, Jules. Now if I’m not mistaken, haven’t you just pulled another triple-word score out of your arse?’

  ‘Yes indeedy. STILETTO. One hundred and thirty-four. I win.’

  Lizzie, Jim and the kids finished lunch and wandered back to the bemo stop. As they waited, Lizzie realised that they were standing in front of a movie theatre. She was momentarily surprised, and then surprised that she was surprised. Of course they had cinemas. Everywhere in the world has cinemas. There were Indonesian and English movies advertised and she saw that Lost in Translation was screening on Friday night.

  ‘Look, Jim. I never saw it when it came out. I might come down on Friday.’

  ‘Great idea. I might come with you if we can get a babysitter. Bill Murray is the funniest sad clown in the world.’

  At the Shangri-La, the four of them fell in a pile and slept until dinner time. Then they got up, had a swim, ate pizza next to the pool and went back upstairs to bed. They hadn’t seen any of the barmy army, as Jim had dubbed them, all day. Tom and Felicity had taken Celia to see Balinese dancing, while Keith and Becky were lying low with the twins. It was actually rather peaceful.

  The days seemed to melt together into one long afternoon of eating, swimming, chatting and flirting. At one stage Lizzie even thought Felicity and Jim were flirting with each other.

  ‘So, Jim,’ said Felicity, playing with her hair. ‘Almost a week in Bali and you haven’t been in the pool once.’

  ‘How observant of you. I see you’ve been wearing the same hat for a week, too, and I’ve been polite enough not to say anything. If you want me to take my clothes off, all you have to do is ask.’ Lizzie had forgotten how charming Jim could be when he felt like it. ‘No, I don’t swim. I’m far too cool. But I do drink. Anyone for a Chardonnay?’

  ‘Sounds lovely,’ said Flick.

  ‘How many glasses? Can I see by a show of hands?’ said Jim, going into schoolteacher mode. ‘Four. I’ll be back in a sec.’

  Jim went to the bar and Felicity leaned in conspiratorially. ‘So what’s the deal with Jim and water?’

  ‘Bad experience when he was young. Held under by his brothers. Won’t immerse himself.’

  ‘Oh, I see. Very interesting. Sorry – I’m such a nosy parker.’

  ‘Oh, don’t worry,’ said Lizzie. ‘Me too.’

  ‘He’s a lovely man, your Jim. Wonderful with the kids.’

  ‘Yes, I know … But if it’s any consolation, he has a very small penis.’

  Felicity looked at her in horror and then roared with laughter.

  ‘Oh, Lizzie, you’re outrageous!’ When they finally calmed down, Felicity looked at Lizzie and raised one eyebrow. ‘So – seriously?’

  ‘No. Hung like a horse, I’m afraid.’

  The holiday was unfolding in ways Lizzie couldn’t have imagined. The sexual tension between her and Tom made everything glitter. They were both more patient with their kids, more charming with their partners and more conscious of themselves. All the usual rules were suspended: the kids ate junk food and stayed up late, the parents started drinking earlier, and each day they woke to the same flawless blue sky. On the very first morning, Lizzie had asked the pool attendant how the weather would be. He’d smiled, but his eyes had laughed at her. ‘Hot, sunny,’ he said. ‘Hot, sunny every day.’

  Since that night by the pool, they’d barely seen Helena, and Keith had been transformed into the most diligent and co-operative partner. ‘The more you put in, the more you get out,’ he said as he strapped the two babies into their stroller and took them upstairs for a sleep one afternoon. ‘I may even have a little kip myself.’

  Tom woke first every morning, grabbed an early breakfast in the deserted restaurant, then went down to the beach to take photographs of the kite flyers. Bright-eyed and buzzing with coffee, his Leica over his shoulder, he’d pass the others on his way out as they trooped in blearily. He couldn’t wait to get back to the flying patches of colour and the beautiful boys who launched these magical wind catchers. He tried to capture the joy of it all – the unalloyed delight of these kids with their kites. If a kite got tangled or damaged, half a dozen of them would gather around and sort out the problem together. And when the kite took flight again, they’d all cheer.

  Tom loved the weight of the camera in his hands and the gentle clack of the shutter. He decided to sell all his other cameras when he got back to London. This was the only one he ever wanted to use.

  When he got back home, he decided, he would print up his best shots and hang them in his office to remind him of this feeling: the incredible peace and satisfaction that he had found here on the beach. This was what he needed. This was what he had been missing. He hadn’t had a chest pain since he’d arrived. No indigestion. Nothing. The chatter in his head had subsided and he felt a clarity he hadn’t known in years.

  Maybe it had been the diet of HobNobs all along. But he couldn’t help but wonder if it was Lizzie who was propelling him. The holiday was helping, but he couldn’t avoid the thought that Lizzie was it. Lizzie was what made him feel himself.

  As the adults lay in the sun one afternoon, Felicity broke the silence. ‘I tell you, I feel so relaxed. When I first arrived I didn’t know what time it was. Now I don’t even know what day it is.’

  ‘It’s Friday afternoon and it’s almost 3.30,’ said Tom.

  ‘And we leave on Monday. Is that right?’ Felicity took off her sundress and lowered herself into the pool.

  ‘Yes, after lunch. Lizzie, when do you Antipodeans head back down under?’

  ‘Sunday. What did you say it was today? Friday?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I almost forgot. I was going to go to the movies tonight. Lost in Translation is on in town.’

  ‘Really?’ asked Tom.

  ‘Yes. We saw a sign the other day. It starts at 7.30.’

  ‘I saw that. Brilliant movie,’ said Felicity.

  ‘Is that the one set in Tokyo?’ asked Becky.

  ‘Yes, Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson.’

  ‘I’d love to go with you,’ sighed Becky. ‘I haven’t seen a movie since the twins were born. But it’s Helena’s night off.’

  ‘Get Keith to look after them,’ chipped in Felicity.

  ‘I suppose I could,’ said Becky, putting on some lip balm. ‘But he’d whinge about it all day tomorrow.’

  ‘I wonder if we could get a babysitter, Flick,’ said Tom. ‘I’d love to go.’

  ‘I’ve already seen it. You go with Lizzie.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ He knew she’d never see a movie twice but he had to make the gesture. ‘We could ask that carer from the kids’ club, the one who braided Celia’s hair.’

  ‘No, you go. You both lived in Japan. Did you know each other there?’

  Tom and Lizzie were both reminded of the same thing. The moment with their backpacks at the baggage carousel. They looked at each other.

  ‘No,’ said Lizzie. ‘We didn’t.’

  ‘I can look after your kids if Jim would like to go too,’ Felicity offered.

  Tom’s heart sank and so did Lizzie’s.

  ‘That’s kind of you, Felicity. I’ll ask Jim.’ Lizzie waded into the pool.

  ‘Where is Jim?’ asked Tom.

  ‘Upstairs, sleeping. He ended up watching some movie on cable unti
l 3.30 this morning.’

  Lizzie fooled around with the kids for a while. She toyed with the thought of her and Tom, together. Alone. It was just too perfect. She tried to push the possibility out of her mind before she got too attached to it. She reminded herself that Jim had said he was keen to go.

  When it got to five o’clock, the parents started to round up the inflatable toys and the whinging kids. The boys Reuben had been hanging out with had left that morning, so he had taken arsehole pills and spent the afternoon annoying the girls.

  ‘But MUUUUUUUUUUM! I don’t want to go back upstairs. This is so unfair,’ he protested.

  ‘No, it’s not. Get your crocodile and pull your finger out, mate, quick sticks. And if you don’t do what you’re told when you’re told, someone will be going to bed early. Now move.’

  As Lizzie gathered her bits and pieces – book, snacks, water bottle, sunglasses, sunscreen and fractious children – Tom approached her.

  ‘So, this film is on at 7.30. Should we take a cab?’

  ‘Yeah, I reckon. The bemo goes there but a cab will be far more benli,’ said Lizzie, dredging up the Japanese word for ‘convenient.’

  ‘So I’ll meet you in the lobby at seven?’

  ‘Sounds great.’

  Tom gave Lizzie a huge, elated smile. She felt woozy. She looked around and saw Felicity and Celia in the distance, dropping their towels into the large laundry hamper near the pool attendant. Lizzie looked back at him with a trembling grin, took a deep breath and bit her lip.

  ‘This’ll be fun. I’ll see you at seven.’

  ‘I’ll have to ask Jim, you know.’

  ‘I know, I know. Seven.’ And Tom grabbed his hat and walked away.

  After physically removing a tired and cranky Reuben from the pool, Lizzie managed to get them all upstairs. Jim was in the toilet.

  ‘Hello!’ said Lizzie.

  ‘No need to sound so fucking cheery. Don’t come too close. Touch of tropical tummy.’ The smell hit Lizzie and she recoiled when she reached the bathroom. ‘Oh dear. So I take it you’re not up for the movie tonight?’

  ‘Oh, I forgot about that. No way. I’m not going anywhere. Not without a commode, anyway.’

  ‘Is it okay if I go? Felicity has already offered to look after the kids.’

  ‘Sure, you go,’ said Jim, grunting. ‘I’ll be fine with the kids but I’ll call her if I get stuck.’

  Reuben and Scarlet were ensconced in front of the television. They looked brown and gorgeous and tired, just the way Lizzie liked them.

  ‘Room service for dinner, Jim? What do you think?’

  ‘Great idea. I’ll just have toast and tea. Thanks. Can you bring me my book?’

  When she got to the door of the bathroom, she was hit by the smell again. Jim saw her face. ‘Just chuck it from there, mate. I don’t want your hair to fall out with the fumes.’

  She called room service, ordered dinner for the kids and toast for Jim and then stood on the balcony, watching the sun go down. She picked up Jim’s tobacco pouch and rolled herself a smoke. She lit up and felt everything churn inside her.

  As she put the Tally Ho papers back into the Log Cabin packet she saw a name and a number written on the back. AMBER 98635222.

  ‘Who’s Amber?’ Lizzie yelled from the balcony.

  ‘What?’ Jim yelled back.

  ‘I said, WHO’S AMBER? You’ve written her name on the back of the Tally Hos.’

  ‘Oh, Amber?’ Jim came out of the bathroom, belching and pulling up his shorts. ‘She’s one of the mums from school. I was going to get her the name of that guy who writes the stuff on single parenting.’

  ‘Amber,’ Lizzie said, rolling the name around her mouth. ‘Sounds like a porn star.’

  The doorbell rang. Room service. With the kids fed and entranced by some weird Indonesian cartoon, Lizzie set about getting herself ready. She hopped into the shower and Jim sat back down on the toilet. ‘Sorry, Lizzie. Nature calls. Jesus, it feels like my intestines will be coming out next.’

  ‘You never know, you might find the remote control.’

  Jim’s smell wafted into the shower and Lizzie was repelled.

  ‘Will you be okay on your own?’ he called.

  ‘On my own? Oh, no. Tom’s coming too. Felicity has already seen it.’

  ‘Oh, okay. Make sure you leave Felicity’s room number, just in case I do need help. I don’t even know her surname.’

  ‘It’s Shorebrook. I think they’re on the fourth floor. I’ll find out.’

  Lizzie cleaned up the kids’ dinner mess and piled it all outside the door for room service to collect. It was five to seven. ‘Jim, the kids are in their pyjamas but Scarlet hasn’t brushed her teeth. Are you okay for me to go?’ she asked, halfway out the door.

  ‘I’m fine. Feeling a bit better, actually. Must have been the toast. Might go out and have a durry.’

  ‘Okay. I’m off, then. Good night, kids.’

  Scarlet and Reuben ignored her and she closed the door behind her. She could hear her own footsteps as she walked along the corridor to the lift. She felt young and beautiful and she ached for Tom.

  The lift opened and it occurred to her that Tom might be inside. He wasn’t. Instead there was a family. A miserable-looking family – Dutch or German, she guessed. Lizzie prided herself on being good at guessing where people were from before they even opened their mouths. They looked healthy, strong, brown and serious.

  ‘It’s four tew erly two teke a borth. Whay wore yew teking a borth at dunner tarme?’ the husband said. South African. What’s a borth? Lizzie wondered. She worked it out as the lift doors opened and she stepped out into the lobby.

  Tom was standing in the middle of the room and her heart skipped a beat. He looked gorgeous. Like the travelling Tom she’d fallen in love with but better dressed. He turned to her, almost as if he could smell her or recognise her footsteps. She strode towards him, beaming. He looked quite serious, she thought.

  ‘Jim couldn’t come. Bali belly.’

  Tom opened his mouth, but before he could say anything Keith appeared, grinning like an idiot.

  ‘Hello, darling. Mind if I tag along?’

  CHAPTER 25

  Lizzie tried as hard as she could to disguise her massive disappointment. ‘No. Um, fine.’ She looked to Tom.

  ‘I bumped into Keith in the lift. He was on his way to the bar.’ Tom looked how she felt.

  ‘And I thought I’d make it a ménage à trois,’ said Keith, ‘So, taxi, anyone?’

  One of the island’s blue cabs pulled up and Keith opened the back door for Lizzie before climbing in next to her. ‘You be alpha male and sit in the front, Tom. You know where we’re going.’

  ‘Actually, I have no idea. Lizzie knows.’

  Lizzie leant forward. ‘The movie cinema on Jalan Watunu, near the market.’

  The driver nodded and they were off. Tom and Lizzie sat in grim silence, but Keith seemed not to notice.

  ‘The missus gave me a night off. I’ve been doing the right thing, what with Helena unwell and all.’

  ‘Has she been ill?’ asked Tom.

  ‘Yes, touch of Bali belly. I had it earlier in the week. You two haven’t had it yet?’

  ‘No,’ said Lizzie. But then neither of us has pashed you, she would have said normally. But she was too disappointed. ‘Jim’s on the tail-end of it.’

  ‘We’ve manage to dodge it so far. Celia was a little off-colour when we arrived. But I suppose I shouldn’t speak too soon. We still have a couple of days to go.’

  ‘It was rather tame, I must say,’ said Keith, winding down the window. ‘Mind if I smoke, chief? Marvellous.’ He lit up a clove cigarette. ‘I spent six months in India with the shits. I tell you, not much fun. But I looked very pale, t
hin and interesting when I got back to Old Blighty. Never had so many shags in my life.’

  Tom and Keith managed some chit-chat about their mother-in-law while Lizzie gazed out the window.

  She knew it was wrong. She knew she was being greedy. She had enough luck and happiness for ten lifetimes. If she’d heard about someone like her, she’d have hated them. She had it all, fucking all, and still it wasn’t enough. She knew it was selfish and she did feel guilty but she couldn’t help it. She needed a fix.

  The air-conditioned cinema was an oasis after the dusty humidity of the street. As they sat down – Keith, then Lizzie, then Tom, despite Keith’s best efforts to wrangle the middle seat – Tom’s hand brushed Lizzie’s. This might be the closest they’d get, she thought, and she was determined to make the most of it.

  As the trailers began, Keith gasbagged on. ‘You know they shot the shagging scene but they left it out in the end?’

  ‘Hey, shut the fuck up,’ hissed Lizzie. ‘I’m really looking forward to this. Don’t ruin it.’

  ‘Ooooohhhh, someone’s cranky.’ Keith sat back in his seat and shovelled peanuts into his mouth.

  ‘Too right I’m cranky. I didn’t come here to have the story spoilt.’

  ‘It’s a great movie. You’ll love it. Especially if you’ve been to Tokyo.’

  ‘Have you seen it?’ asked Tom.

  ‘Yes. Twice. I love it.’

  Lizzie was fuming. Keith was crashing their date to see a movie he’d seen not once but twice already?

  As the opening credits rolled, Keith leaned over. ‘I’ve stayed in that hotel,’ he pointed. Lizzie snapped.

  ‘Keith, no offence, but I hate people talking during movies. So I’d really appreciate it if you could keep your comments to yourself and we’ll have a chat about it afterwards.’

  Keith looked through the dark for support for Tom but Tom just stared at the screen. So Keith did what he was told and sat the fuck back and shut the fuck up for the rest of the film.

  It didn’t take long for Tom to press his leg against Lizzie’s. And it wasn’t much later that they had their hands under the armrests, resting near each other. And then Tom was rubbing her hand gently with his. Finally Lizzie grabbed his hand and they held on tight. She could feel his breath on her neck and she so badly wanted to turn around and kiss him. Tom had a massive hard-on and he put his hat over it. Lizzie saw. And she was flattered.