The more he got to know Mika, the more he realized how wrong his initial impression of him had been. He wasn’t some mouthy jerk who only cared about himself. He was smart and bold. A little rough around the edges, sure, but also decisive and able to see through bullshit in a way that made James envious.
Mika caught his eye. “Why are you staring at me?”
Abruptly, James looked at the fresh glass of wine in front of him. “Sorry. I was lost in thought.”
“Care to share with the class?”
James paused. “I don’t mean for this to sound rude, I swear, but how come you’ve never had a serious boyfriend?”
“It is a mystery, isn’t it?” Mika waggled his eyebrows. “You’d think men would be lining down the block to break off a piece of this.”
James rolled his eyes, though in his head he agreed. “Seriously, though, what’s the deal? Is it because you don’t want a boyfriend?”
“No, I do. I really do, to be honest. If I’d met the right person, I think I would have been one of those ill-advised twenty-year-olds who gets married way too young despite everyone telling them it’s a mistake. If I could’ve settled down by now, I would have.”
“Wow, I never would have pegged you as a romantic.”
“I’m full of surprises.” Mika finished his beer, and when the bartender came by to ask if he wanted another one, he ordered water instead. Then he turned in his seat to face James. “You surprised me earlier with that coloring book prank of yours.”
James winced. “Sorry about that. I was mad.”
“Don’t be sorry. I didn’t know you had it in you. I’d go so far as to say I was impressed.” His eyes roved over James’s face, seeming almost curious.
The attention made it hard for James to think. After a beat, he replied, “Thank you. I’m proud of that one. It took me a long time to come up with something that was harmless but still brutal. I almost went with this remote-controlled helicopter.”
“What would you have done with that? Dive-bombed my head?”
“No way. I would have had it hover. Right above you, just out of reach. Not touching you, but close enough to be annoying as hell.”
Mika laughed with his head thrown back, exposing his long neck. “Holy shit, that’s good. Here I thought you were a softie, but it turns out you’re an evil criminal mastermind.”
“Is that—” James paused “—a compliment?” He couldn’t quite tell.
“Oh, yeah. ‘Nice’ is overrated. I like people with a little bit of bad in them. Makes them more interesting, in my opinion.” Mika sipped his water. “If we’re stuck here for much longer, we should buy that helicopter. In the wee hours of the night, we could use it to mess with people.”
“Sounds good, but at the same time, I hope we’re not stuck here for that long.”
“True. If we are, I’m sure the airline will start handing out hotel vouchers. We can get out of here.”
James’s pulse suddenly sped up. “‘We’?”
“Yeah. We.” Mika didn’t elaborate further, and he didn’t look away.
James was at a loss for words. He was a little tipsy, and at this point, he wasn’t sure what was going through his head. This whole experience with Mika had been a roller coaster, full of the highest highs and lowest lows. They’d established that they both liked men, and Mika had called him gorgeous earlier, but that could have been a joke. Did it even matter? What exactly did James think was going to happen between them?
It occurred to James that even after all this, there was still so much he didn’t know about Mika. And with Mika always cracking jokes and making smart comments, it was hard to tell what was serious and what was a quip.
Hadn’t Mika mentioned that earlier? His boyfriends had trouble taking him seriously? James was beginning to understand why, though he wanted very much to take Mika at his word.
You could ask him how he feels. Be direct. Like you were with David.
Yikes. There wasn’t enough alcohol in the world to make James brave enough for that. He should sober up before he made any decisions.
When the bartender came by, James ordered a water as well and then chugged half the glass the second it was in front of him.
“You got quiet.” Mika was watching him with his damnably beautiful eyes. “What’s on your mind?”
James had never been a good liar. Might as well use this opportunity to find out more about him. “I was thinking about how you didn’t finish answering my question from before.”
“Hm?”
“How come you’ve never had a serious boyfriend? You said you haven’t met the right person, but there’s got to be more to it than that.”
Mika chuckled. “Damn. I was hoping you wouldn’t notice how I segued away from that. The truth is, I don’t like to talk about my many failed romances.”
“Why not? Is it painful?”
“Yeah, to my ego.” Mika tapped a fingernail against his water glass, looking pensive. “I’ve never had a serious boyfriend for the same reason you didn’t like me when we first met. I drive people away.”
“Intentionally?
“Not all of it is intentional. Sometimes it’s more like a defense mechanism. I reject people before they can reject me, you know? I’ve gotten better about it as I’ve gotten older—especially at work, where I have to watch my tongue—but sometimes it still slips out.”
James nudged him with his knee. “You can’t turn it off?”
“Believe me, I would love to, but snark and sarcasm are a part of who I am. When I meet someone I like, I’m always on my best behavior. At first. But eventually, there’s a disagreement, and then I can’t help myself. I crack jokes and laugh it off to ease the tension, and . . . well, people don’t like to feel like they’re being made fun of. Especially by their significant other. Sometimes I wonder if I know how to be serious.”
When he’d finished, Mika let out a slow breath. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to rant like that.”
“No, I’m glad you told me.” James was overcome by the urge to reach out and touch Mika’s hand where it rested on the bar. “That explains a lot, and to be honest, your exes don’t know what they’re missing. I hate arguing, so if I had someone there telling jokes and breaking the tension, I’d be thrilled.”
“You think that, but not when you’re genuinely upset about something.”
James considered it. “Yeah, okay. I can see how that would put people off. But at least you know what the problem is, right? You’re actually one of the most self-aware people I’ve ever met. That’s half the battle.”
Mika smiled. “Thank you, though I’m not looking forward to the second half. I’m hoping I’ll grow out of it, or one day I’ll find the right motivation. Although, I did get through two whole serious conversations with you without too many jokes.” He winked. “Maybe I’m cured.”
“Maybe.” James smiled back. “I have a different theory, though.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“I think some people bring out different sides of us, especially if those people are our opposites.”
“You mean like how you act differently around your boss or your grandparents?”
“Sort of, but it’s deeper than that. When we first met, I thought you were a jerk, but I also admired you because you were confident and straightforward, two things I’ve always wanted to be. Being around you allowed me to do things I wouldn’t normally do, like come up with that prank and text David. Make sense?”
“I’m with you so far.”
“In the same way, maybe I bring out your serious side. You said you wanted to find the right motivation to stop joking around all the time, but I wonder if what you needed was to find the right person. Someone who made you want to be serious. Maybe that’s why things didn’t work out with your past lovers.”
Mika was staring at him, an unreadable look on his face. “Huh. An interesting theory.”
“I’m glad you think so. I was rambling a bit.” James rubbed the back of
his head. “I’ve had a lot of wine.”
“No, I enjoyed that. Especially the part where you insinuated that you’re perfect for me.”
James gasped. “I did not! I meant— When I said the right person, I didn’t mean—”
But Mika was laughing again, and James couldn’t help but join him.
“So,” Mika said, “we’ve discussed why I’m not with anyone, and we’ve talked about what went wrong in your last relationship, but why do you think you haven’t found the right person yet? All those long relationships, and you never settled down? Why not?”
James shrugged. “Well, I know my theory, and I know David’s theory. And never the twain shall meet.”
“Let’s hear yours first.”
Taking a sip of water to wet his throat, James said, “I think it’s for the usual reasons. I’ve been focused on school, I haven’t found the right person, et cetera. And no offense, but I definitely wouldn’t get married young. Or at least, not before I graduate. I need to spend some time in the real world first, outside of academia.”
“You said you graduate in the spring, right?”
“Yeah. I guess if I meet someone tomorrow and fall madly in love, I can marry them in about a year.” He swept a hand through his hair and laughed, his voice a bit too high. “It seems silly to assign a do-not-open-before date to something like that, but I figure, what’s the rush?”
“Sounds reasonable enough to me. What’s David’s theory?”
James sighed. “Promise you won’t make fun of me?”
“James—” Mika leaned forward and fixed James with his intense hazel gaze “—I will never make that promise.”
James snorted. “All right, fine. He thinks I’m boring, essentially. He says I get into these long relationships, and then I turn into an old man. I don’t ever want to go out or do anything new. To be honest, he has a point. I’m not the most spontaneous person. I’ve never, like, surprised someone with a Hawaiian vacation or had sex in an elevator or whatever. David used to say all my relationships fizzle out because I don’t do enough to keep the spark alive.”
“Hm.” Mika tapped his chin. “I was wrong.”
“About what?”
“Earlier I was wondering why the hell you ever dated your ex in the first place, but it turns out he knows you better than you know yourself.”
James shoved him playfully. “Oh, that’s nice. Thanks for that. For the record, I never said David’s not a good guy. He’s just not the guy for me.”
“Well, I don’t think he should have told you everything’s all your fault—because that’s basically what he did, and it was insensitive, even by my standards—but yeah, he has a point. Sounds to me like as soon as you find someone, you stop trying. People are supposed to grow together, not apart, right?”
James shrugged, reluctant to admit Mika was spot-on. “I guess so.”
“I’m serious. Circumstances change, and people want different things as they get older. You can’t expect a relationship to continue to work if you don’t put effort into it.”
“Says the guy who’s never been in a long relationship.”
Mika frowned at him. “Look me in the eye and tell me I’m wrong.”
James tried to. He really did. But as soon as he locked eyes with Mika, he lost the will to argue. He turned back toward the bar. “Damn it.”
Mika raised his water triumphantly. “Ah, the sweet taste of victory. So, what are we going to do about this?”
“About what?”
“We have ourselves a unique set of problems here. You have no trouble getting into relationships, but you let them die out. I, on the other hand, can’t get people to commit because I chase them away. Though at least I’ve never been accused of being boring.” He smirked. “How do we fix our issues so we can both live happily ever after?”
James lifted a shoulder and let it drop. “Personality dialysis?”
“I was thinking something a little more . . . possible. Your problem seems easy enough to solve. You said you’re not spontaneous enough, right? Do something bold. Unexpected. And preferably a little illegal.”
Frowning, James gestured at the airport around them. “How am I supposed to do that? I’m stuck here, it’s been a hell of a long day, and most importantly, I don’t want to get arrested. Can you imagine me in prison? They’d use me as currency.”
Mika chuckled. “Oh, come on. You pulled a prank in an airport earlier today, and everything was fine. There’s gotta be something you can do that’s low-risk but still outside your comfort zone.”
“All right, Mr. Life-of-the-Party. Let’s hear some ideas.”
“I dunno.” Mika looked around. “Go . . . sock-slide past our gate. Or walk up to a random dude and get his number.” His eyes lit up, and he snapped his fingers. “You should join the mile-high club!”
James blanched. “What?”
“Yeah! It’s perfect. You said you’re a serial monogamist, right? You ever have a one-night stand before?”
“Well . . . no.” James squirmed in his seat. “But there’s a good reason for that. I don’t want to have one.”
“Why not? These are modern times, and you’re an attractive man in your early twenties. According to the media, you’re supposed to be out having wild dirty sex all over the place. Trust me, I’m in advertising. According to my research, all our age group is doing these days is having sex and watching internet cat videos.”
James shot him a wry look. “That’s the worst logic I’ve ever heard. I should have a one-night stand because everybody’s doing it?”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, obviously, but it won’t kill you to have sex for the sake of sex one time in your life. In fact, I bet it’d do you some good. No-strings isn’t your thing, right? What better way to prove to yourself that you can change?”
James was alarmed to discover he was warming to the idea. Still, he shook his head. “Dude, no way. I’m trying to get my feet wet, not dive into the Atlantic.”
“Hey, go big or go home, I always say.” Mika grinned. “You said you don’t travel much. When are you going to get a chance like this again?”
That made a scary amount of sense. James hesitated. “There’s no way. I could never. I would die.”
“That”—Mika jabbed a finger at him—“is exactly why you should do it. Because you don’t think you can. Do you want to be the same old James you’ve always been, or do you want to break out of your bad habits?”
“I don’t know.” He chewed on his bottom lip. “Who would I hook up with anyway? Some rando?”
Mika was staring down at the bar. “Any consenting adult you’d like. Doesn’t have to be your soul mate if it’s just sex.”
James shook his head. “It’s a little more complicated than that, though. To join the mile-high club, I’d have to hook up with someone who’s going to be on the same plane as us. What are the chances of me finding a guy who wants to hook up with me on our flight?”
James honestly hadn’t realized the implication behind what he was saying until the words were out of his mouth. By then, it was too late. They rang in his ears like bells.
He looked up at the same time Mika did, and when their eyes locked, it was electric. For the first time since they’d met, all the jokes and hints they’d made solidified between them. It was so clear to James now. They’d been flirting relentlessly with each other, and yet it didn’t seem as though either of them had wanted to acknowledge it. Until now.
James analyzed his attraction to Mika from a place of complete sincerity, and when he’d finished, he knew there could be no more denying it.
“You . . .” James said, though he had no idea what the rest of his sentence was.
Mika didn’t respond. His eyes were huge and cautious as they searched James’s face.
James wanted to smack himself for being so dense. How—in all the times he’d thought about his attraction to Mika, or when Mika had asked him to get drinks, or when they’d danced ar
ound each other—had it never occurred to him that they might end up right here?
The important thing was, they had, and for once, James didn’t want to back down.
“Did you, um . . . Did you want to—” He gestured helplessly.
To his surprise, Mika’s face turned bright red. “I didn’t— When I suggested you hook up with someone, I wasn’t trying to—”
“No, it’s okay.” James put his hands up, palms out. “I didn’t think anything of it. Not until right then, anyway.”
“Okay, good.” Mika winced. “I mean, not good. It’s just, you know, that would be really scummy of me. I’m the one who talked you into this, so obviously I wasn’t trying to say it should be me.”
“You didn’t talk me into this.” James wet his lips. “I talked myself into it.”
Mika sucked in a breath. “You did? You . . . want to?”
“Yeah. Though from the look on your face, you’d think I had decided to rob a bank. Do you regret suggesting it?”
“Of course not. I just . . . really want to emphasize that I didn’t mean it should be me.”
James flinched. “Does that mean you’re not interested?”
“What? No! I—” Mika looked like he was struggling for words, but then his face smoothed. “Okay, fine. I think we both know I’m not the sort to beat around the bush, so I’ll be direct. I want to hook up with you, James.”
Heat flooded James’s entire face. Hearing it spelled out like that was powerfully sexy. “You do?”
“Why not?” Mika shrugged, looking as calm as if he were suggesting they split an appetizer, though he was still flushed. “Unless you’re having second thoughts.”
“No, it’s not that.” It definitely wasn’t that. James wanted this. He wanted Mika. He was grateful he’d placed his bag in his lap earlier, because as he shifted in place, he realized he was getting hard just talking about it. The desire that rushed through him left him breathless. So, why was he hesitating?
James struggled for words, caught somewhere between shock and eagerness. “Mika, are you sure?”
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