Her faith had been shaken, but then, she wasn’t sure how strong it had been to begin with.
She’d wanted it to be strong, because Daniel had always been so certain and committed. His zeal had been infectious, and she had to admit that he had carried the weight of their faith. She’d allowed it because it had been more comfortable than searching her heart and finding out how hollow her own faith was.
While Daniel had asked for God’s will to be revealed, Tessa had simply asked that He reveal Himself to her.
Are You there? That’s what she’d wanted to ask more often than not. If Daniel had suspected her spiritual failure, he’d never let on. They’d prayed together, worshiped together, put their lives in God’s hands together.
But, Tessa’s faith had been a dim reflection of Daniel’s, and when she’d needed it most, she hadn’t been able to find it. She hadn’t felt God’s presence that night of the massacre, but maybe her shock and horror blinded her to it. Her eyes burned at the thought, her throat tight and hot. She’d spent five years feeling alone, running from one town to another to avoid the past and all its troubles. Was it possible that God had been directing her every step? That He truly had intended for her to end up exactly where she was—in Pine Bluff, Washington, with Seth Sinclair?
Being with Seth seemed right when so many other things in her life hadn’t.
That had to mean something.
Didn’t it?
She sighed and paced through the living room, looking out the front window. The police car was still parked at the curb. She waved, but couldn’t quite see the officer through the darkness.
She wanted to go outside and ask if he’d heard anything about the person on the hill. But she doubted he’d appreciate her questions, and he’d probably be unhappy to have her walking across the yard when someone could be skulking in the gloom.
A year ago, she would have packed her bags and run, found a new house in a new town, tried to forget that trouble was following her. She wouldn’t do that this time. She loved Pine Bluff. She loved her house and job.
And Seth...
They had plans. Together.
Thanksgiving with his family.
She had spent one too many holidays alone. Five years’ worth of holidays that had echoed the silence and emptiness of her life.
Last year, she’d spent Thanksgiving serving food at a homeless shelter. She’d needed to remind herself how blessed and fortunate she was to have a house, food, clothes. She’d needed to make sure that she didn’t dwell in the self-pity that seemed to rear its ugly head during holiday seasons.
This year, she could have something different. She could be part of a family celebration. She clenched her fists, worried about just how much she wanted that. It scared her to think of how vulnerable it made her, how easily she could be hurt if she wasn’t careful.
She settled onto the rocking chair, wishing she had the guts to walk into the mudroom and grab a couple of pieces of wood for the fireplace. A little warmth and light wouldn’t be a bad thing. The wind picked up, rattling the windows and blowing icy rain against the glass. Seth was out in this mess, struggling through the forest with an injured shoulder—for her.
While she sat like a lump and waited.
She fingered her cell phone, wanting desperately to call him, to make sure he was okay. But she was afraid that if she did, she’d somehow thrust him into worse danger.
The wind rattled the window again, and she jumped up.
No way could she keep sitting and waiting—she had to do something.
She grabbed her coat and wrapped a scarf around her neck.
“Stay,” she ordered Bentley as he jumped up to follow her. She walked to the back door, yanked it open and nearly barreled into Seth’s hard chest. He grabbed her arms, holding her steady as he walked her backward into the mudroom. He closed the door and locked it.
“What in the world are you doing?” He pulled her into the living room, his eyes such a dark blue they were almost black.
“I was worried. You’re walking around in the middle of a storm with a bad shoulder, and—”
“My shoulder is fine. My temper, on the other hand, is getting the better of me,” he growled. “How do you think I’d have felt if I got back and you were gone—or worse?” He looked tired, his eyes deeply shadowed, and Tessa’s heart responded, opening to him in a way she hadn’t expected it could.
“I’m sorry. I just couldn’t sit still, thinking of you out there in danger because of me.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and lay her head against his chest. She could hear the rapid beat of his heart, feel its solid thud beneath her ear.
She wanted to cry. For everything she missed, for all the things she thought she’d never have again, for what she just might find in the safety of Seth’s arms.
She felt his anger give way as he put his arms around her. “Don’t ever do something like that again,” he said gruffly.
“I won’t.”
“Even if you’re worried?” He slid his hands inside her coat, his palms resting against her back.
“I’m not going to make any promises.”
“Tess—”
“Did you find anything in the woods?” She cut him off, because she didn’t want to ruin the moment with an argument.
He frowned but switched gears. “I followed the light up to the service road and heard a car driving away. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a look at it.”
“Maybe Logan—”
“His men came up empty, too. He’s calling in a search-and-rescue dog, hoping to pick up a scent, but unless we find something that belongs to the perpetrator, that will be tough to do.”
“Too bad. I was hoping that this nightmare was finally going to end.”
“I know, and it will. Soon.” He dropped a quick kiss on her forehead. “Until it does, Logan is going to keep several patrol cars stationed on your street. There’s an officer out back, too. You’ll be safe as long as you stay inside.”
“Are you leaving?”
“I wish I didn’t have to,” he frowned, his finger skimming along the tender flesh beneath her eyes. “But, you’re exhausted, and I have work to do.”
“What kind of work?”
“I want to see what else I can find out about your brother-in-law.”
“You really think there’s a chance that he’s alive, don’t you?”
“Yes, and if he is, he’s the person we’re looking for. Stay safe, okay?” He kissed her tenderly, and walked outside, closing the door and leaving her there, his kiss still warm on her lips.
Tessa sighed and flicked off the foyer light, whistled for Bentley and went into her room. She kept the light off as she changed into flannel pajamas and dropped onto the bed. The hallway light shone under the door, casting the room in shades of gray and black. It was early, but she was exhausted, her brain foggy from too many sleepless nights. Bentley lumbered up beside her, circled around and finally settled down, his heavy body taking up half the bed. She didn’t have the heart to nudge him away. Besides, it felt good to have her friend back.
She closed her eyes, thought about the light Seth had seen on the hill behind her house and opened them again.
Someone was stalking her, biding his time, waiting for the right opportunity to finish what he’d started.
Could it really be Andrew?
Seth seemed to think so.
What if he was right? What if Andrew really were alive? Maybe he’d just been biding his time, waiting for an opportunity to get rid of some loose ends. Jack. Anna. Tessa.
Was it truly possible that her own brother-in-law—the brother of the man she had dedicated her life to—was coming for her because of what she knew?
Of course it was.
If Andrew had been willing to use children to
do his dirty work in Kenya, there probably wasn’t much he wouldn’t do. Including killing her.
She frowned, turning on her side, Bentley moaning as she jostled him.
She pulled the covers up a little higher, listening to the silent house and wishing that she was still standing in her kitchen, safe in Seth’s arms.
SEVENTEEN
Tessa woke to the sound of howling wind and ice splattering against the roof. The house lay still and silent. No light from the hallway shining in under the door.
No hum of the heater.
Nothing.
She pushed aside the blanket, shivering in the frigid air, realizing that Bentley was no longer next to her. She looked to see what time it was. The alarm clock was out. No glowing lights to tell her whether it was night or morning. Had the electricity had been knocked out by the storm?
If it hadn’t...
She wasn’t going there. There was no sense panicking until she was sure there was something to panic about. She stood, calling for Bentley, and was relieved to hear him pad across the floor.
He bumped his nose against her hand, and she scratched his head. If he wasn’t barking, everything was fine. That should have been comforting, but she still felt uneasy, her heart beating just a little too quickly. She glanced at her cell phone display. Three-thirty. Not even close to dawn. Was Seth awake? Still working on investigating Andrew?
She thought about calling, but what would she say? That the electricity had gone out, and she was wide awake? Bored, scared and lonely?
No. She wasn’t going to disturb him over something so silly. Especially not when there were police officers outside, guarding the house.
But, she was wide-awake now and sure that she wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. Too bad. She’d rather sleep through the power outage and wake up when the sun was up. At least then she wouldn’t be imagining danger lurking in every shadow of the room.
“What do you think, boy?” She scratched Bentley’s head again, more to comfort herself than to please him. “Should we go downstairs and make some tea? Maybe start a fire?”
Bentley whined impatiently, and she opened the door, letting him precede her into the hallway. The darkness was almost complete, just hints of gray light spilling in through the windows on either side of the front door. The kitchen was silvery black, the old wood floor creaking as Tessa flicked on the gas burner and set the teakettle to boil.
She grabbed candles from a cupboard above the refrigerator, lit them and set them on the counter. A little light always made things less scary.
She walked into the mudroom, grabbed newspaper from the recycling bin and two logs from the stack near the door. She carried everything back to the fireplace. A few crumbled up sheets of newspaper and a quick flash of the match, and the flames shot up, greedily eating at the dry wood. Bentley settled down on the bed she’d made him.
The teakettle whistled, the sound mournful and haunting against the backdrop of the storm and crackling fire. Tessa hurried into the kitchen and turned off the burner, poured boiling water over a tea bag and carried the mug into the living room.
She sat in the old rocking chair just as Bentley shifted, then stood, growling low in his throat as he stared at the front window. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end, and Tessa crept toward the window, her hand shaking as she pulled back the heavy fabric.
She didn’t know what she expected to see. A face? A gun? She saw nothing but the icy yard. Beyond it, the road glittered, the police cruiser parked at the curb, spitting white exhaust into the darkness. A truck was parked in the field across from it, headlights off, the gleaming hood of the vehicle the only hint that it was there.
Seth’s truck?
She thought so, but the storm and the darkness made it difficult to be certain.
She wanted to be certain, though, because if Seth was out in his truck, he may as well join her in the house.
She reached for her cell phone but Bentley barked. She dropped the curtain and jumped back.
“What’s going on, Bentley?” she asked, her voice shaking.
He padded to the front door and barked again as the doorbell rang.
Someone banged on the door, and Tessa’s heart jumped. She screamed, and then clapped a hand over her mouth, willing herself to be quiet as terror took over and she froze.
* * *
“Tessa?” Seth called through the heavy wooden door. He was ready to break it down if he had to, her muffled scream still echoing in his ears. He’d seen the light of a fire flickering through a crack in the living room curtain, and he’d known she was awake. He’d assumed she was safe, the house locked up tight.
Now, he wasn’t so sure.
“Hold on,” she responded.
The lock turned, the bolt sliding open.
Seconds later, Tessa peered out through the crack in the door. “What in the world are you doing out there?”
“Checking on you.” He gave the door a gentle push, and she let it open wider. “You screamed.”
“After you rang the doorbell and nearly scared me to death.” She sounded both shaky and relieved, her face parchment pale in the dark foyer.
“I saw that you’d lit a fire. I figured you were awake. It stood to reason that if we were both awake, we may as well be awake together.”
“You’re not supposed to be awake in your truck outside my house. You’re supposed to be home. Researching Andrew or sleeping.”
“I was home. Changed my clothes and came back to stake out the house. I wanted to keep an eye on the hill. See if our guy showed up again.”
“You can’t guard me twenty-four hours a day. It’s not practical.” Even in the darkness, he could see the circles beneath her eyes and the tension in her face.
“I’m not worried about practical. I’m worried about you.” He pulled her into his arms, smiling as her hands slid around his waist and rested on his back. It felt so natural, so right for her to respond to him this way. “What are you doing awake at three in the morning?”
“The electricity went out. The quiet woke me,” she mumbled against his chest.
“So how about we sit by that fire you made? Maybe that’ll make you sleepy again.” He sat on the sofa, pulling her down next to him. “You’re a regular Girl Scout, Tessa. The fire looks great.”
“I was never a Girl Scout.”
“Never a Scout? I thought that was a prerequisite for every girl and boy when we were kids.” He pressed her head to his shoulder, running his hand through her silky hair.
“My parents were too busy partying to take me to meetings. After they died, I was in foster care, and the families I was in had way too many kids to worry about things like Girl Scouts.”
“I’m sorry, Tessa.” He couldn’t imagine what it was like to grow up without a family who cared, to not have that support system, that safety net.
“There are worse things a kid can miss out on, Seth. Scouting isn’t that important.”
“I’m not talking about scouting. I’m talking about family. Love. The things every kid deserves.”
“You still don’t need to be sorry. I survived, and I turned out just fine.”
“Better than fine,” he said, and she laughed softly, her body heavy against his, her warmth seeping through his coat. He’d wanted to share a moment like this with her as much as he’d wanted anything in a long time, but he didn’t speak. He just watched the firelight flicker across her fair skin. She deserved so much more than what she’d been given in life. He wanted to make sure she got it. He kept the thought to himself, not wanting to chase her away.
The moment was too nice.
The fire too perfect.
And, Tess... She was just about perfect, too.
She shifted, sitting up so that she could look him in the
eye. “You’re too good to be true, you know that, Seth?”
“I’m not good, Tessa. I’m just me.”
“And I’m me, and that makes me cautious.” She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. “When I met Daniel, I was desperate for a family. I’d been in foster care for eight years, and I wanted someone to love me. He did.”
“You don’t have to talk about this, Tessa.”
“I want to, because it explains who I am. Why I can’t just believe that everything is going to work out the way I hope.” She shrugged, her hair sliding like red silk around her shoulders. “Daniel and I were good friends. We loved each other. I thought we’d have forever together. The thing is, I accepted Andrew because of Daniel. I wanted to believe that we would be the big happy family I’d always wanted.”
“You can’t blame yourself for not seeing through Andrew’s lies.”
“Sure I can. Andrew and I were never close. He and Daniel got along great, though. They were really close. When they were kids, they did everything together,” she said, her words wistful. “But Daniel told me stories about Andrew. About how he’d gotten into trouble when they were kids.”
“What kind of trouble?”
“He shoplifted a couple of times when he was in high school and got caught. Once, he stole a car. The way Daniel and his parents told it, he was a typical kid and kids make mistakes.”
“Those are some pretty big mistakes.”
“I thought the same, but I never saw any sign that he was planning to go back to...” Her voice trailed off, and Seth thought that if the light was better, he’d see her cheeks flush.
“His life of crime?” he offered.
“If that’s what you want to call it.”
“What else is there? Sure, kids get into trouble, but most kids aren’t arrested several times before they turn eighteen.”
Defender for Hire Page 15