Chasing Forever

by Lisa Cardiff

  Parker swiveled on his stool to face her and captured her hand in his. “Hey, don’t be sorry. I’m beyond excited that you finally agreed to go on a date with me. I won’t be picky now that I finally have you to myself, even if it’s only for an hour.”

  “Is this a date?” she asked, suddenly nervous.

  “I want it to be,” he answered, lightly running his thumb back and forth over the top of her hand. “But it’s up to you. I won’t push. I’ll wait until you’re ready.”

  Regan sighed heavily. Maybe she should date Parker. It couldn’t hurt to put herself out there again. He was attractive, smart, interesting, and pleasantly laid-back. He could distract her from Lucas. For some reason, despite not seeing him for over a week, his emails had somehow become more personal. Yes, the emails focused on work and cases, but their banter back and forth had gradually twisted into something similar to six years ago, which unsettled her more than she wanted to admit. “Okay.”

  He chuckled. “Okay? That’s it. I’ve been trying to get you to say yes for over a year. I didn’t realize it would be this easy.” He shook his head. “I should have forced the issue a year ago.”

  The bartender slid two drinks in front of them. Parker held up his drink. “To our first date, the first of many…or at least I hope.”

  Smiling, Regan lifted her glass and tapped it against his. She could do this. This would work. Being with Parker was easy, uncomplicated, comfortable. Then what exactly was bothering her? She shook her head and took a sip of her drink. She’d enjoy being with Parker tonight. She didn’t have to analyze every little detail and interaction in her life. Not everything had to be complicated. Simple would be a nice change.

  “Regan?”

  She knew that voice. Setting her glass on the burled walnut counter, she turned her head.

  “Lucas?” Her voice was a little more unsettled than she liked, every nerve ending in her body on high alert. Why did he still have that power over her?

  His gaze moved to Parker and then back to her. “Now I see why you stopped responding to my emails.”

  Annoyed by his insinuation, the muscles in her back tensed. “It’s almost eleven at night. I didn’t think you’d mind. I think I’ve earned a little personal time.”

  Parker put his hand on Regan’s thigh and squeezed. “Do you two work together?”

  She flinched, then smiled almost immediately to cover her reaction. She wanted to forcibly remove Parker’s hand from her leg or at the very least glare at him, but she wouldn’t do it, not with Lucas standing there, his eyes taking in every movement, every gesture. “Parker, this is Lucas Evanston, my mentor for the summer at Martin and Black.”

  Parker leaned forward and shook Lucas’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Likewise,” Lucas responded, tilting his head in her direction, studying her intently. He looked pointedly at Parker’s hand still resting on her thigh. “How do you know Regan?”

  “We go to law school together.”

  “Really? She’s never mentioned you.” Lucas stuffed his hands into the pockets of his tailored gray pants. The same tailored gray pants that had the bad habit of emphasizing every angle and contour of his athletic build—not that she noticed.

  “I wouldn’t think so considering she just started working with you a couple weeks ago, and you are her boss.”

  Regan cleared her throat as she slowly stirred her drink with a short red straw. This conversation was rapidly accelerating into the uncomfortable zone. She didn’t understand Lucas’s interest in her relationship with Parker. And she didn’t understand Parker’s sudden possessive behavior. He always seemed so relaxed. It was as if she’d stepped in the middle of some testosterone, chest beating, I’m-cooler-than-you contest.

  “Why are you here?” she asked Lucas.

  “I meet Drew here once a week for drinks.” Lucas took a drink of his beer. “You remember Drew, right? He went to college with us.”

  Regan cocked her head to the side pretending to jog her memory. Of course she remembered Drew. Drew was the asshole who sent her to Lucas’s room that day, the last day she saw Lucas. The day she officially became a total laughing stock. “Um, maybe. I’m not sure.”

  “Wait,” Parker interrupted. “You went to college together?” Parker’s gaze moved back and forth between them.

  “Yes,” Lucas responded. “We—”

  “Just briefly,” Regan interrupted. “We hardly knew each other. I transferred after my first semester.” She didn’t like the direction of this conversation one bit. Once she left Texas, she never breathed a word of what happened between her and Lucas, not to her closest friends, not to her dad. Only her mom knew what happened and as far as she knew, her mom never shared it with anyone. Regan had made up some excuse about needing a change of scenery and switching her major. She refused to relive the whole thing in front of Parker tonight or any other night.

  Lucas’s eyes narrowed in silent rebuttal of her words. “Actually—”

  Hell no. He better not contradict her. “I need to go to the bathroom.” Frantic, she jumped up from her barstool intending to disrupt the conversation before Lucas opened his big fucking mouth and vomited their regrettable history in front of Parker.

  Unfortunately, she caught the edge of her heel on the brass foot rail of her barstool, and flew forward right into Lucas’s chest and his nearly full glass of beer. Lucas instantly wrapped his arm around her waist, forcing her face into his firm chest.

  Do not inhale, she instructed herself.

  And then she felt it. Cold beer dripped down the front of her white dress shirt and she winced. “Fucking awesome,” she mumbled as she tried to untangle her foot from the foot rail without touching any part of Lucas other than those parts of him that were already pressed against her. Could she be more of an idiot? Nope.

  Lucas laughed as he ran his arm up and down the length of her back before he released her. He tipped her chin up and smiled wickedly. “I think I remember another time when your shirt became a party casualty.”

  Regan rolled her eyes and stepped back. She knew exactly what he was referring to, but she wouldn’t dignify his comment with an answer. She’d never admit that she remembered that night. Instead, she pointed at the stack of cocktail napkins as she held her shirt away from her body with her other hand. “Napkin, please.”

  Parker grabbed a stack of napkins and handed them to her. “I’ll walk you home. It’s late and you only wanted to stay an hour.”

  Regan nodded as she patted at her shirt. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Parker dropped some money on the counter for their drinks. She had promised Parker she would pay tonight, but she wouldn’t object now. She wanted to get the hell out of this bar and away from Lucas.

  Smiling, Parker grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together. “Let’s go.”

  “I’m sorry about the drink,” Lucas said, pointing at her shirt, a big fat grin on his face.

  She looked down and saw the white lace of bra was on display for everyone in the bar. A string of curse words floated through her mind.

  “Not your problem,” Regan answered. “See you later.”

  As she walked past him, he grabbed her arm, his eyes intense and determined. “Stop by my office in the morning before you start working. I need to talk to you.”

  “All right,” she answered after staring at him for a few long seconds. The heated tone in his voice confused her. What had she done? What did Lucas want?

  Chapter Nine

  At six-thirty the next morning, Lucas sat in his office waiting for Regan. He knew she would be there any minute. After her first day, she matched her work hours to his schedule. Regan always liked to compete, and he suspected she wanted to show him she could work as hard as him. She didn’t have to convince him. He already knew that.

  He’d spent over a week avoiding her, and it worked just fine and completely in accordance to his plan. He communicated by email, voicemail, or text unless it was absolutely unavoidabl
e to speak with her in person. He didn’t argue with her. He absolutely refused to reference their past together. He avoided thinking about touching her lips, her hair, her long toned legs or any other part of her body.

  For the most part, his mind behaved and followed the plan. She finished all of her work on schedule with hardly any questions, and he couldn’t complain about the finished product either. They never argued and he rarely referenced the past. He only thought about touching her when he was in his house alone without the ability to do anything about it, but after seeing her out last night, he didn’t want to avoid her any longer. Seeing Regan with someone else shouldn’t have bothered him, but it did. When he thought about Regan, he remembered all the ways they were great together and in his mind, she would always be his. She was meant to be his, but his stupidity and Olivia’s sadistic plan ruined everything.

  He heard a light knock on his door.

  “Regan, come in.” When she sat down in the chair across from his desk, he handed her a drink from the coffee shop in the lobby. “Double shot cappuccino and one raw sugar, right?”

  “Yes. Thanks,” she answered, eyeing the drink with a mixture of longing and distaste.

  He tried to hide his smile. She didn’t like that he remembered her drink preference, but she wouldn’t reject it either.

  “I thought you worked on Thursday nights,” he commented as he organized some papers on his desk. He shouldn’t pry, but he didn’t like the idea of her leaving work at five every Thursday for a date. He could deal with another job. After all, law school was expensive, but he didn’t want to think about her with another guy.

  “I do.” Regan folded her arms across her chest. “My shift ends at nine-thirty.”

  “Thursday is work night and date night?”

  Regan’s lips thinned in anger. “Sometimes. Are you implying my second job or my social life is a problem? Because I’ve finished all my work in a timely manner and you haven’t complained once.”

  “No. I don’t have any complaints about your work or your work ethic.” Lucas shook his head. “I was making conversation, trying to get to know you. I didn’t mean to imply anything.”

  Regan unfolded her arms and removed the lid from the cup of cappuccino. “Okay.”

  Lucas exhaled. “We’ve hired a company to appraise the value of the mines in the Jennings case next week. Richard and Jack want us to take a look at the site and make sure everything is in order before that happens.”

  “When do you leave?” Regan lifted the cup to her lips to blow on her drink.

  “We leave next Wednesday,” Lucas answered distractedly, unable to take his eyes off her pouty red lips. Damn. Those lips still drove him crazy.

  Regan set her yellow notepad on his desk and started taking notes. “Would you like me to do any research for your trip?”

  “Our trip.”

  Regan’s hand froze and she looked up from her notepad. “By our, I assume you mean you and Richard, not you and me, right?”

  Lucas chuckled. “No, I mean you and me.”

  Regan rapidly tapped her pen against her notepad. “Why?”

  Lucas stood up, and walked to his door to close it. “For starters, it would be a great experience for you. Jack will be there, which will give you more client experience and exposure, but most importantly, I’ll need your help.” It wasn’t entirely true. Richard had mentioned the possibly of sending Regan with him last week because she had impressed him and Lucas suspected the firm planned to make her an offer at the end of the summer contingent on her passing the bar exam. Originally he objected, but now he liked the idea of spending two days with Regan in a mountain town.

  Regan eyed the closed door. “I don’t know. I have to work next Thursday night, and I don’t want to give them a reason to replace me. I’ll need the extra income during the school year. Textbooks are expensive.”

  “It’s just one shift and you have plenty of notice to find someone to cover for you. Besides, if you want the partners to offer you an associate position, you have to demonstrate that you’re a team player, that you’re willing to go the extra mile.” Lucas smiled and leaned against the wall, crossing his ankles.

  Regan exhaled loudly. “Both of us know it’s unlikely I’ll be offered a permanent position here. Tell me what’s really going on. I don’t trust you.”

  Lucas’s smile faded. “Wait.” He pushed away from the wall. “What do you mean you know you won’t be offered a permanent position?”

  Regan stuffed her notepad in her briefcase and stood up. “I’d love to be offered an associate position in the corporate litigation department, but that would mean we would work together on a somewhat permanent basis, and neither of us wants that. We can hardly stand each other, and like I said, I could never trust you, not for a minute. I don’t want to work with someone I can’t trust.”

  Lucas lifted his head toward the ceiling and shook his head. “Wow. I don’t know what to say.”

  “There’s nothing to say,” Regan shot back and started walking toward the door.

  “Listen,” he demanded as he loosely grabbed her arm. “I would never interfere with you receiving an offer at Martin and Black. If you’re qualified, and you are, I want you on my team, not sitting at the opposing counsel’s table.”

  Regan pulled out of his grip and averted her gaze. “Give me one reason why I should believe anything that comes out of your mouth.”

  Lucas cupped her chin with his hand, forcing her to look at him. “Regan, I’m really sorry about what happened between us.” He could see the glassiness in her eyes, and his gut twisted. He never wanted to hurt her. What happened wasn’t about her. He agreed to help Olivia because she was upset, and at the time he was bored with college. Classes, parties, dating—it all seemed repetitive. None of those excuses justified inferring in Regan’s life, but when Regan walked through the door at that party, he wanted to talk to her and Olivia offered the perfect ploy to act on it.

  “Sure, you are. I can tell you’re devastated by the whole thing,” she said sarcastically. “But that doesn’t mean I’m stupid enough to trust you again.”

  He released his hand from her chin, letting it trail down her neck. “I never thought you were stupid, and for the record my feelings for you were real. It ended badly, but that doesn’t erase what happened before.”

  “Seriously?” Regan scoffed. “I guess I’m confused or maybe my memory is foggy because I’m pretty sure Olivia painstakingly explained that you were never interested in me, that it was just a game, and you didn’t contradict her. You didn’t say one fucking word. Not one. Not even when I confronted you. You shrugged like you couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge my insignificant appearance.”

  Lucas lowered his voice so they couldn’t be overheard in the hall. The staff would love to gossip about the drama unfolding in his office, but he couldn’t let that happen. He had worked too hard to let a partnership offer slip through his fingers. “You don’t know how many times I wanted to tell you about Olivia’s plan before that night.” He ran his hand through his hair for the hundredth time. “Then when she confronted you, I didn’t know what to say. I knew I fucked up. I had waited too long, and I didn’t think you’d give me another chance.”

  She balled her hands into fists at her sides and her chest heaved with rage. He wouldn’t be surprised if she tried to strangle him. “You’re right! I wouldn’t have given you another chance then and I won’t now. Let’s stop talking about it. It’s pointless.”

  Shaking his head, he exhaled loudly. There was no way he could explain himself because nothing he did six years ago made any sense. He’d like to blame it on his youth, but that was a poor excuse for his behavior. “When Olivia set up the whole thing, I agreed to talk to you, take you out for dinner, but that was it. I never intended to go through with Olivia’s plan. After that first date—actually, from the first second I talked to you—everything was real. I was with you because that’s what I wanted.”

  “No, it wa
sn’t real. You asked me out as part of some convoluted plan to help Olivia hurt my dad by making me a laughing stock and guess what? You succeeded in ruining my life.” Regan choked on a sob, but she quickly forced it back down. She would never allow herself to fall apart in front of him. She had too much pride for that. “I had to transfer schools. I was everybody’s favorite punch line. I couldn’t step foot on campus without people talking about it. Olivia posted a video on YouTube called how to seduce a freshman in twelve weeks with details only you could have known.” She pointed her finger at him. “You told her everything. You made me look like a fool.”

  Her words gutted him. Lucas had no idea why Regan left school. Nobody said a word to him about the YouTube video or Regan after that night. In fact, he hardly talked to anyone after the incident except Drew, and he specifically told him the topic of Regan was off limits. Within a few weeks, he accepted an offer of admission to law school, and he pretty much kept to himself after the whole thing unfolded. He was done with college, his fraternity, and Olivia’s games.

  Sure, he still talked to Olivia on occasion, but only because of the connection between their families. He couldn’t avoid her when their families spent every Christmas in Vail together and every Fourth of July week at his parent’s ranch in Napa Valley. But Olivia would never mention Regan’s name. She knew better than that. He didn’t talk to her for a year after it happened, and he only forgave her because they had known each other since they were kids. For the sake of both their families, he decided he needed to bury the whole incident and move on. Besides, by that time, Regan was long gone and he didn’t think he’d ever see her again. “Regan, I had no idea any of that happened. You have to believe me. I would’ve never let that happen. I never intended to hurt you.”