Here/Now

by D. D. Lorenzo

  “Tell me why,” he growled menacingly low. He was fighting against his inner animal, the one she’d previously baited and poked. This would end one way or the other tonight, he’d decided. He would either walk away or he would sink into her forever.

  Her gaze softened. “I was scared… I didn’t know… wasn’t sure if… if you… or I… I didn’t have anything…” She trembled, stammering with lust and emotion.

  Afraid? Aimee?

  He crushed his lips to hers. He never wanted her to be afraid of anything, at least not where he was concerned. His hands cupped her head, coaxing her to kiss him with equal intensity. She moaned and whimpered when he wouldn’t let her go and the sounds she made encouraged him. Her body melted and relaxed against his, the mounds beneath her sweater now pressing into his chest. On his lap her legs relaxed, her knees collapsing until the soft crotch of her jeans met the stiffing of his. He broke their kiss for only a moment. Her breath was coming hard and fast, but he didn’t want to misinterpret her willingness.

  “Aimee…,” his voice rumbled. He wanted to give her one last chance to back away, when all he wanted to do was pull her closer. “If you don’t stop this now I won’t be able to…,” he breathed. “I have something… I’m sure of it… and I don’t ever want you to be afraid. I’ve got you.”

  Searching his eyes, she found her answer there. She placed her lips against his, the tip of her tongue licked against his.

  “I want you…”

  It was the moment all reasoning expired. Her permission gave him tunnel vision. He didn’t give a damn about anything but her. She held around his neck as he reached for her legs. When he stood the chair rolled back, crashing into the wall. Wrapping her legs around him, his fingers cupped the roundness of her curves firmly as he carried her to the bedroom. He kicked the door with his boot. Placing her on the dresser, his hands pushed her sweater up and off. He nuzzled behind her ear as he was saturated by her sweet scent. He kissed her neck, nipping as his hand undid the clasp of her bra and threw it to the side. With hands that firmly cupped her breasts, he rolled his thumbs over the tips, remembering that earlier it fed her desire. He teased them taut as she made soft whimpers. He licked and kissed his way down from her neck, finally closing in to suck her sweet skin, the flat of his tongue firming her nipples until they were brutally stiff. Her back arched, desire filling her, driving her. He reached down and unbuttoned the top of her jeans. As he fumbled for a zipper he discovered the jeans were the old button fly type—sexy as hell! Passion coursed through him like molten lava and his sole purpose was her pleasure. Nothing else mattered. Moving again to her mouth he kissed her deeply, exploring her mouth with his tongue. His hands pushed down against the jeans, rolling them to the soft curve of her hips. Still enjoying her mouth, he lifted her around the waist with one solid arm, freeing him to push the jeans to the floor. He held her naked body to him as he walked to the bed, laying her on her back. Standing back for a moment he couldn’t help but enjoy the sight before him. She was like a golden goddess splayed out on the bed. Her hair fanned out all around her and her eyes were pools of passion. He found himself drowning in her gaze.

  “You are so beautiful…” he said aloud.

  He wanted to explore every inch of her, committing to memory her responses to his touch. He allowed his hand to roam from her shoulders to her hips, and he planted hot kisses there as he made his way down. He urged her onto her stomach where he marked every inch of her with his teeth, his lips, or his breath. Roaming from the soft hair at her neck and down her back, he glided over her pretty curves. She evidenced her enjoyment by the way her hips swayed against him.

  She wasn’t at all familiar with the sounds she made when he touched her. He enticed a pleasure that was something deeper than she’d ever felt. Never having been completely naked and bare against him, she found she loved his hands against her bare flesh. They felt so big, so strong, and everywhere he touched, she burned. She craved him from a place deep inside. A pulsation, a drumbeat, pounded between her legs. It was stronger than she’d ever felt, and it was sinfully wicked. Beating in time with her heart it caused the delicious throbbing to amplify, extending from her head to her sex. The scorching heat burned away any fear. It ignited her senses, taking her breath. Somewhere she thought she heard a zipper. She barely had time for the sound to register when he pushed her forward, separating her knees. Sucking in a breath, she felt a pleasurable searing sensation as he took himself in hand and slipped just the tip of himself inside her folds, slowly exploring the embers within. Up and down he branded her with his sex, the friction intensifying as the fire begged to be quenched.

  He played her body masterfully, skillfully, while eliciting the most beautiful sounds of passion. She thought she would be, but she wasn’t afraid. She was completely at his mercy and she felt safer than she ever had.

  Lying there, shoulders and knees positioned for his purpose he struggled to hold himself back from taking her immediately, gratifying his need. Instead he guided himself for her pleasure and she moaned as he made her sex cry for him. He was soaked in her passion. He pulled himself away for just a moment as he ripped open and crumbled the foil.

  Once he’d covered himself, his hands circled around her waist as he pulled her against him. He positioned her, spreading, then pulling her until her bottom wedged against him. He could think of nothing but silencing the moans and whimpers that continued as he stoked the source of her cries. They were foreign and forbidden and made him as hard as stone.

  As he moved against her she turned her head and watched him, looking deep into his eyes. She reached back and cupped him where they joined. He almost lost control, fighting to keep himself from taking her unrestrained. His own ache was building so extravagantly and he longed to feel every part of her, to remember that which he claimed. He guided himself into her, and for a moment he felt her tense from his size. Fear briefly fluttered across her face. He sensed it and pulled out. He let his fingers disappear in her folds where he strummed and stretched until he was confident she was ready. It wasn’t long before she felt the fullness of having him inside her, and a pleasurable pain as he stretched her.

  He couldn’t take his eyes from her. She was breathtaking, a siren of sex, an ivory beauty. Her thick mane laid wildly over her shoulders and down her back. He gripped and fisted her hair so his vision wasn’t impaired. He wanted to watch as he took her, wanted to see her face as she felt him claim her. She groaned with pleasure until he felt resistance. He couldn’t be certain, but it didn’t matter. She instinctively pulled back and his suspicion was confirmed. He refused to stop, and held her shaking legs, pulling her into him. A forceful thrust pressed through the barrier. She cried out and he stopped, folding himself over her back and whispering into her ear.

  “It’s okay baby…”

  She heard him, heard his soothing words and the feeling of safety once again washed over her.

  His deep, rich voice an aphrodisiac. She felt the abrasiveness of his chest hair as it brushed against her sensitive skin. The stimulation reignited her passion and drove the ache upward where it comingled with other pleasurable sensations that she didn’t understand. She forgot all about the pain. He nipped her shoulder, kissed a path down her spine. His hands wrapped around her thighs and he moved slowly to increase her pleasure. As he detected her ratcheting lust he drove harder. He felt as she gripped him from within. Completely consumed with passion, he watched her face as she fell apart. Dragging out her pleasure, she moaned loudly and he felt himself struggle to withhold his own climax. His breath bathed her ear with comforting words.

  “…no more pain, love… trust me.”

  His voice was thick with lust and she shuddered with sensation. Pleasure and pain. He traveled the feelings with her in the midst of sweet torture. It tested the limits of her sanity as she felt ripples turn into waves.

  Her back arched beautifully as her release gripped him mercilessly. She cried out while she clutched the sheets, driving he
r fingernails into the tightly woven threads. Her breasts heaved and her skin glowed with sweat. When he could hold back no longer, he groaned and drove himself as much as he did her. They both surrendered to the sweet violence. Her body pulsed with pleasure as she cried out.

  He held her firmly against him as he thrust them both through the final propulsions.

  They laid there, nearly spent. He was careful not to crush her to the bed as he pulled away. She whimpered as he disconnected them. Turning her over, he lifted her like a child. Her legs trembled. He laid behind her, pulling the comforter over them both. He needed to hold her to him. It felt right to hold her in his arms. As he buried his nose in her hair, the tugging in his chest exploded, and for the very first time in his life he loved authentically.

  They drifted into asleep. He didn’t know for how long, but when he opened his eyes her cheek was against his heart and she was softly breathing. The small sounds she made filled him in a way words couldn’t articulate. When did he ever feel that he was enough for someone, just the way he was? It was when she kicked that he saw blood on the inside of her thigh.

  Soaking a cloth with warm water, he laid it against her, gently cleaning her. She opened her eyes and an understanding passed between them. He kissed her and returned to the bathroom to take care of his own needs. He had rolled off the latex before falling asleep, but he was so engrossed in her that he left it tied in a knot on the counter. It was when he picked it up to throw it in the trashcan that he saw a tiny puddle. He squeezed it lightly and saw a drip. The condom had a small tear.

  Damn it!

  He slammed the defective rubber into the can and hit the lid. Splashing cold water on his face he was assaulted by a million thoughts.

  Breathe Sinclair… breathe.

  How long had it been in his wallet? Since Lacey?

  This was his fault. He told her he was prepared. He told her not to worry. He’d have to tell her the truth—but not tonight.

  Turning off the light he watched as she slept in the moonlight. An all too familiar clenching gripped in his chest. He didn’t have to wonder any longer because he knew it was his heart. It had happened before, but because of tragedy—an end. This time was different; this time it felt good—a beginning. He knew tonight wasn’t a decision she’d made lightly and he had no doubt she wanted it as much as he did. A smile crossed his face. A beautiful woman like Aimee could have anyone she wanted—and she chose him.

  Giving him a very sleepy smile, she moved close to him when he laid down beside her. The now familiar scent of her hair seduced him as she snuggled back against him. He closed his arm around her and pulled her close. At this very moment, he was experiencing something he’d never felt with Lacey.

  Contentment… and it scared the hell out of him.

  She stretched, and it felt… yummy! Deliciously sore she turned on her side in his huge bed, and saw Carter was no longer beside her. Damn! At first she thought maybe he’d gone to work, but then the aroma of fresh coffee filled the room. What was it about the smell of coffee that made you feel so “at home”?

  Swinging her legs over the side of the bed she went into the bathroom. She smiled when she saw fresh towels and a new toothbrush sitting on the long counter just waiting for her. Going into the shower, the steamy water felt good against her aching muscles. She felt like she’d had the most intense workout—and she had. In any direction she moved, her muscles reminded her of every detail.

  Every. Single. Hot. Detail.

  Drying herself with the plush towel he’d laid out for her, she rubbed the soft fabric against her skin until it glowed. Once she finishing brushing her teeth she pulled her damp hair into a messy bun. It was a beautiful day and she felt as warm as the sun shining brightly through the bedroom window. Her clothes had been neatly folded and placed on the overstuffed chair by the window. As she stepped into her panties and bra, she took in the beautiful view. It was autumn in the mountains. Color was everywhere. Trees were just giving hint of every color and hue as they stood in formation around the Crystal Lake. There were two chairs at the end of the pier simply begging for someone to relax in them, while a Coleman patio warmer towered above. It was so scenic it could have been a postcard. Taking mental note, she thought she’d bring her camera over next time.

  As she bent over to step into her jeans, her canine friend sauntered in. She head- butted Aimee’s leg as she buttoned up the jeans and slipped her sweater on.

  “Knock it off, silly! Give me a minute and I’ll pet you,” she said laughing. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Cody stayed in the same exact spot until Aimee gave her a dose of affection, then they both made their way to the kitchen. The only warning Carter had of the intruders was the sound of Cody’s heavy paws.

  “Mmmm, I smell coffee!” she said as she walked up, hugging him. He reciprocated with a kiss as he fried up some bacon and eggs.

  “Sleep well?” he asked.

  She poured coffee into one of the mugs hanging underneath the cabinet. “I did,” she answered, then went about fixing it the way she liked.

  “I slept very well—very well,” she answered.

  She took a long sip of coffee as she smiled at him. “Are you cooking for me?”

  He kept his attention on the pan in front of him. “I’ve been warned about your cooking.”

  “What? My cooking? I’m a good cook!” she defended, as she sat in a chair at the counter. She wanted to watch him cook.

  “It seems there are others who would debate that, sweetheart. Apparently, you’re not a good cook as far as they’re concerned.” He winked at her. “But you’re a damned good baker. I’ve never tasted pound cake as good as yours.”

  In no time he had both plates full, placing one in front of her. He took the seat next to her while she dug in.

  “Mmm, my gosh!” she mumbled. “Where did you learn to make eggs like this?”

  He shrugged. “My mother. She was a really good cook.”

  “They are really, REALLY good!” she looked up. “Thank you Momma Sinclair!”

  He laughed and neither spoke much until they’d finished. She reached for his plate. He pulled it away.

  “I’ll do it sweetheart. Just sit and enjoy your coffee,” he said as he cleared the mess.

  She followed him, leaning against the counter as he washed dishes. “Thank you,” she said. “You know, for making me breakfast,” she cooed, and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Last night… it was amazing.”

  “Yeah, about that. We need to talk.” He started searching for the right words to explain what happened.

  She stiffened. In her entire life, whenever someone said we need to talk, nothing good ever followed. A knot was forming in her stomach.

  He rinsed the last dish, placing it on the drain board, and dried his hands with the towel. She watched, not looking into his eyes.

  He placed his hand under her chin. “Sweetheart, something happened last night. It was something which shouldn’t have.”

  Her knees shook ever so slightly. She felt something in her stomach. Tension? Fear? She wasn’t sure but she felt sick. Something told her this wasn’t going to be good, but he was so relaxed about it. Was she just a one night stand?

  He reached out and placed his hand on hers. “First,” he said looking into her eyes, “I want to tell you I’m sorry. It was my fault…”

  She grabbed her mid-section as the stabbing pain hit, and made a dash to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She barely made it to the commode when the contents of her stomach revolted.

  Oh my God! This was a one night stand? How stupid! He’d probably been with other women since his wife died. What the hell was she thinking?

  Her mind raced uncontrollably.

  He said it was a mistake. What’s next? They were just friends? It had been so good these past few months—and now he was going to tell her it shouldn’t have happened.

  She heaved until everything was gone and she was shaking. She couldn’t believ
e she read more into this than there was. Pulling herself up on shaky legs, she went to the sink to brush her teeth. Her face was streaked with tears from the strain. Splashing some water on her face, she prepared to face him again. There was no way around it. She couldn’t stay in here all day. Looking in the mirror, she cleaned up around her eyes and put a cold cloth against her flushed cheeks. Even after all their time together she felt disposable.

  He’s just another guy who wanted to bang a model. Good for him. He got what he wanted. Just walk away now! You’re a tough girl!

  She took three deep breaths, then she took three more. Slipping her feet into her Uggs she avoided looking at the bed.

  Why did she think she meant something to him?

  She needed to get the hell out of here. Once she walked out the bedroom door she would tell him it didn’t mean anything to her either—he was right; no attachments. It never should have happened.

  Steeling herself, she slowly opened the bathroom door. His back was to her. She watched, waiting for him to turn around, but he didn’t. Something had his attention but she wanted to get this over and done. She walked up behind him. He was obviously deep in thought, because he didn’t hear her.

  “Carter…”

  He spun around. Frowning, his face looked tense. She looked down at his hands. He was holding a picture of him and Lacey.

  She looked from the photo to him as she felt tears threatening to burn her eyes. Not trusting herself, she said nothing and walked toward the back door. All she wanted to do was go home. He was right, something happened that shouldn’t have… because he still wasn’t over his wife.

  “Aimee stop. Can we talk for a minute? I think you misunderstood what…”

  She stopped him mid-sentence.

  “Save it! I don’t need to hear it. It’s not your fault it’s mine. I should have realized you were playing me.”

  He was shocked. “What? I wasn’t playing you. I was trying to tell you…”

  She interrupted. “You know what? You should get an award. I really believed you…” A sob escaped. “I don’t know what I believed.”