Shattered & Scarred: The Sacred Hearts MC

by A. J. Downey

  “Who’re you?” she asked, eyeing me speculatively.

  “Ashton.” I murmured. She was taller than me, which wasn’t saying much, most of the world population was. I am five foot even but she, she was easily five foot nine, taller with the red heels she was wearing. Her long legs went up forever before stopping in the shortest pair of army fatigue patterned shorts I had ever seen. Her midriff was left bare and she wore a cut off white tee that stopped just below her breasts. The sleeves had been removed somewhere along the way too.

  She swept long platinum blonde hair with dark roots which had been processed to within an inch of its life over her shoulder and looked me over with muddy gray-blue eyes. She was older than me, maybe late forties early fifties to my thirty. Fine lines and wrinkles bracketed a mouth that was used to smiling and eyes that had spent too many summers squinting under the sun.

  “I’m Chandra,” She said, followed by, “Got any coffee?”

  She sat at the end of the bar so she could see into the kitchen and pulled out a cigarette. I set down a cup of coffee in front of her and blinked.

  “Should you be doing that?” I asked softly.

  “Private club sweetie.” She lit the end and sucked on it, the tip flaring bright orange.

  “You the one Trig brought in last night?” she asked, exhaling a plume of smoke in the direction of the ceiling.

  “Trig… Trig… Trig…” I repeated softly, searching my memory…

  “Yeah Trig, Trigger… Blonde haired pile of delicious muscle. You can’t miss him honey.”

  “Oh! You mean Ethan.” I blushed and she arched a dark eyebrow.

  “Ethan?” she asked, “Who the hell is that?”

  “I am. How you doing Chandra?” The small room was letting out and Ethan was one of the first out the door. His eyes locked onto me and I tried to look smaller, because I was rooted to the spot.

  “Trigger! Why’s this bitch calling you Ethan Baby?” she asked. I recoiled at being called a bitch but kept my mouth shut.

  “Take it easy on her Chandra, she’s had a bad night.” Doc came out from around Ethan and went to Chandra and kissed her.

  “Ashton.” My name brought my eyes back around to Ethan.

  “C’mere Sunshine.” He crooked a finger at me and I swallowed and shuffled forward to comply.

  “Dray and I want to talk to you.” He put a hand on my shoulder and I cringed out of habit. He dropped it to his side and indicated I should go into the room they had just been in. I went in and Ethan shut the door behind me. Dray sat at a large metal slab of a table, a booted foot on top of it. He looked positively stormy.

  “Sit down.” He shoved a chair out with a boot and I jumped at the sound it made scraping across the floor.

  “Damn it Dray go easy.” Ethan growled. I sank into the chair and licked my lower lip, the cut on it stinging faintly.

  “What’s your story Princess?” Dray asked me.

  “I… I… I don’t have a story.” I whispered. Dray’s eyes narrowed.

  “Uh, yeah, you do.” He said.

  I fixed my eyes resolutely onto the scarred table top and thought to myself this was a funny set up for a chapel before the thud of Dray’s booted feet hit the floor. I near came out of my skin. My breath coming faster and faster as my anxiety ratcheted up yet another notch.

  “Who are you?” he asked after a moment of silence.

  “Ashton, Ashton Granger.” I whispered ashamed.

  “What were you doing out on the road?” he asked.

  “Accepting my husband’s correction, that’s what he calls it when I… overstep my bounds.” Which sounded a lot better than ‘when I misbehave’, still the sting of humiliation burned my eyes.

  “You want to go back to him?” he asked and I looked up sharply.

  “He’ll kill me! This time for certain. Please don’t send me back there?” I couldn’t stop the pleading desperation from creeping into my voice.

  “Well what the fuck am I supposed to do with you!?” he demanded. He shot a look over my head at Ethan when I didn’t answer immediately.

  “I… I can cook, I can clean…” he slapped a hand onto the table top and I jumped.

  “Fuck man! You know the rules. Only club bitches and old ladies in the club house. Last night was a one off thing but we can’t keep her here!” Dray turned his smoldering dark eyes onto me and I went back into my seat as far as it would allow.

  “Can you fuck any brother who wants you?” he asked.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Will you…”

  “Dray man fucking stop! You’re scaring the shit out of her!” Ethan knelt down next to my chair.

  “I’m not asking for her to stay here permanently just until I can get a place, like a week man. A week max. I’m not taking her back to that fucker.” He speared me with his gaze and I blinked stupidly at him.

  “Let me call Dragon.” Dray said finally.

  “Fine.” Ethan said.

  “I don’t think he’s going to like it any more than I will.” Dray said dryly.

  “I’ll take my chances.” Ethan seethed.

  “Yeah. Get her the fuck out of here and find her some fucking clothes.” Dray waved his hand in dismissal and I stood up and blew past Ethan and out into the main room.

  “Easy Sunshine.” Ethan said, voice low behind me.

  “Is he always that… intense?” I asked quietly.

  “Dray? Yeah. Usually I am too.” He admitted.

  I sat heavily in a seat near the window. The sun streaming through the venetian blinds warming my skin.

  “I don’t have anything.” I murmured staring out over the gravel drive.

  “I know, but hey, I’ve been there. It’s not so bad.” Ethan slid into the seat across from me.

  “What isn’t?” I asked.

  “Starting over. “ He replied and something loosened in my chest.

  “I’m really free?” I asked.

  “For the most part… I mean you are still married to the man.” He folded his hands on the Formica tabletop.

  I pursed my lips and closed my eyes breathing in a long slow breath.

  “I’m scared.” I admitted.

  “Yeah. I figure you are.” He said and neither of us said anything else for a long time.

  Chapter 3

  Trig…

  I sat across from her and realized that she was probably one of the most heart stoppingly beautiful creatures I’d ever laid eyes on. We sat in silence for a long time, her golden eyes trained out the window while I just drank her in. She needed a shower her hair needed to be combed and she needed some clothes of her own.

  I wondered what she was used to wearing. Did she wear dresses or jeans? Did she usually put all that thick auburn hair up or did she leave it down? Was she a woman who wore make up every day?

  I needed to stop thinking like this. I closed my eyes to block her sun soaked image out and went back to last night on the side of the road and that god awful sound she made. That bone chilling wounded animal sound that had turned my blood to ice water in my veins. I took a deep breath and tried to get her attention without scaring her.

  “Ashton.” I said, and there was a slight flinching around her eyes but nothing else. I tried again.

  “Ashton, Baby look at me.” She turned slowly, her face moving first, her eyes reluctantly following.

  “You need a shower. I’m gonna try and scare up some clothes for you then we’re going to go buy some of your own to get you started.” I said.

  Her eyes dropped to her hands where they rested in her lap. When she brought them over the lip of the table she had her engagement and wedding ring clutched between her thumb and the side of her index finger. I looked at her and she looked at me.

  “I don’t have any money but you could pawn these…” she murmured. I covered her hands with mine.

  “Naw, I got this. You keep those so you always have an insurance policy. So you know you can hock ‘em if you ever need to. I may n
ot be able to afford much more than Wal Mart when you’re used to a bunch of fancy shit but…”

  “No, don’t do that Ethan.” She said sharply but gently.

  “Look, let’s get you cleaned up, get you some of your own clothes and then we can go from there but I’m not taking your rings. So put them back on your fingers and let me go find Doc so he can look at those feet after you get out. Okay?” I searched her face.

  “Okay?” I asked and she nodded, sniffing back tears. I wondered, as I led her up the hall to the bathroom and found her some towels, how long it would be before I would see her smile.

  While she was in the shower Dray moved up the hallway like a thunderhead.

  “Call Dragon?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” He answered and the look he directed at me was heated and I knew that I had won my way.

  “One week you fucking prick! You undermine me in front of the rest of the fucking crew like that again over a fucking gash and I’ll nail your god damned balls to the fucking bar.” I loved our VP as much as I loved the thought of having a VD when he was like this, but he was young so I gave him a pass.

  “Sir, yes, sir!” I handed him a half assed salute and his expression darkened.

  “She stays in your room and pulls her weight around here.” My back straightened.

  “Cooking and cleaning not necessarily on her back.” He intoned, “All though I sure wouldn’t mind those eyes lookin’ up at me while she sucked my cock.” He grabbed his crotch and shook it up and down once and I took a step forward.

  “Watch it there Trigger man!” he warned.

  I nodded once and he finished going up the hall, moving around the bend and out of my line of sight. I continued standing sentry outside the bathroom door and sighed.

  Dragon, our club president was Dray’s daddy and the only reason Dray was VP. Dragon kept hoping Dray would come around to the rest of the club’s way of thinking but I saw that happening, oh say, about the time hell froze over. Dray had a thing about damsels in distress and keeping them as far away from him as possible. Probably wasn’t a bad policy. Women tended to complicate things. I could attest to that myself.

  The noise of the shower stopped and I straightened. A few minutes later Ashton poked her wet head out into the hallway.

  “C’mon Sunshine, Doc is waiting.” She looked up at me.

  “Bandages are wet, kind of hard to avoid in a shower and I didn’t want to take them off.” She murmured. I could barely make out what she said but nodded just the same and scooped her up before she could protest.

  Her arms tentatively went around my neck and I kind of relished that I could do this. Not often you encountered a woman as lush and small as her that was also light enough to carry if you wanted to. The movies were full of bull shit. Doc was waiting in the common room at the bar and I set Ashton down on it, admittedly, a little reluctantly. Doc immediately went to work.

  She was wearing a clean shirt of mine. A light blue button down with the sleeves rolled back that had come from the depths of my closet. Last time I’d worn the damn thing was for a court date. It wore on her like a dress.

  “Found these, they might fit her.” Chandra came in with a pair of shorts and a ladies cut Sacred Hearts tee that was a size small.

  “Where the hell you get those woman?” Doc asked looking over his half-moon glasses.

  “They’re Desiree’s.” she said by way of answer then told Ashton by way of explanation, “That’s my eleven year old granddaughter.”

  “Oh, thank you… you know I think they just may fit.” She murmured taking the two items from Chandra.

  “I’ll wash them before I return them.” She promised solemnly.

  “I’m going to go see about borrowing the truck.” I said.

  “Don’t bother, Dray’s panties are in a wad.” Chandra said, cigarette bobbing between her lips. She pulled a set of keys out of her cleavage and handed them to me.

  “Take mine, it’s the gold Taurus.” She crossed her arms.

  “You’re all being so nice to me…” Ashton whispered brokenly, hiding behind a curtain of her lank, damp hair. She brushed away a tear.

  “A lot of lost souls find their way here sweetheart,” Chandra said, taking a drag. “You ain’t the first.” She blew out a long stream of smoke and I was just about dying for one of my own. I pulled out the unsatisfying e-cig and she smirked at me. I frowned at her but sucked on it anyway blowing out a weak ass cloud of vapor.

  “There you go darlin’. Go get dressed.” Doc leaned back and I lifted her down off the bar gently, but damned if Ashton didn’t go into the kitchen. She came back out with a bottle of kitchen cleaner and a roll of paper towels and deliberately cleaned the bar where she’d been. Chandra laughed and I fought not to grin.

  “Sunshine that bar is cleaner than it’s ever been even after you’re pretty little ass has been on it. Go get dressed so we can go.” I said and she stood there and blushed all the way to the roots of her pretty auburn hair. Her eyes welled with tears.

  “I’m sorry, sir.” She whispered.

  “Hey, no. It’s Trig or keep callin’ me Ethan. There is no ‘sir’ here. Not anymore.” My lips compressed into a thin line and she nodded, eyes wide and bolted for a different room. She came back a minute later. The tee fit, the shorts were a bit tight and she wore the button down open over it all. It wasn’t the best look but it wasn’t enough to land her on the Walmartians website or anything.

  I nodded, satisfied. Chandra threw down a pair of oversized leopard print flip flops onto the floor and Ashton jumped at the sharp slap but obediently stepped into them. She looked like a child playing dress up.

  “How old are you Ashton?” I asked. She looked up sharply.

  “Thirty, why?” she asked. Shit I was only six years older than her.

  “Just curious. Ready?” she sucked in a long breath and let it out slowly.

  “I suppose.” She said nervously.

  That made two of us.

  When we got to the store Ashton looked around herself dubiously and her small hand found mine as soon as we set foot inside. Didn’t take me long to figure out she’d never been to a Wal Mart. We went into the clothing section she stopped cold.

  “What?” I asked, startled.

  “I haven’t bought my own clothes since I graduated college… since Chadwick and I got married.” She whispered.

  “Get what you want babe.” I said as soothingly as possible.

  “What would you like?” she asked and I could tell it was an automatic trained response. It made my heart heavy to hear it and I touched her shoulder lightly. She flinched and turned looking up at me with those wide golden eyes.

  “Doesn’t matter Sunshine, you just pick what you want.” I nudged her towards the racks of clothes and she turned back to me.

  “I don’t know what to get, I mean what…” she looked near tears and I couldn’t help but smile. She didn’t know what I could afford.

  “Just get what you need baby. I’ll figure it out.” I said.

  She selected a pair of those black stretchy work out pants, a pair of jeans and some other things. I stopped paying attention. She got herself bras and underwear and socks and a pair of running shoes and a pair of sandals. She looked so damned solemn and lost moving through the aisles and I was doing a slow burn.

  One I wanted to kill her asshole ex. Two I just plain wanted her, which was fucked up all on its own. I scrubbed a hand over my face and asked if she was done. She looked at me and asked softly about a toilet and I looked at her confused.

  “What?” I asked.

  “I asked if I may please go to the toiletries section… tooth brush, tooth paste… that sort of thing?” she was trembling again and I found myself nodding.

  “Yeah, yeah whatever you need babe,” and I was surprised to find I meant it. I mean I was no rich fuck like her hubby but I wasn’t no slouch either. I could afford this trip and I was surprised to find that I really didn’t mind paying for her things.
Just something about her, I wanted to fix it. She was too pretty, and from everything I had been able to see so far, too sweet, to have something like this happen to her.

  I took her over near the pharmacy and she picked out an inexpensive tooth brush and some toothpaste on sale and I smiled. We rounded to the shampoo section and she went immediately to the brand I’m pretty sure she’d always used. She opened the top and smelled it, she closed it and put it back on the shelf and seemed to be at war with herself.

  “What’s wrong Sunshine?” I asked in the way I’d used on the road, Jesus, not even twenty four hours ago…

  “I can smell like whatever I want now right?” she asked.

  Jesus fucking Christmas, he’d even controlled what she’d smelled like? I looked at her and blinked and before I knew what I was saying it was out of my mouth,

  “Sunshine, if you want to smell every fuckin’ soap, shampoo and lotion in this fuckin’ place until you find what you like well then I’m going to stand here and wait until you’re done. Go to it.” I leaned on the cart and watched my words sink in, and I gotta tell you…

  So. Fucking. Worth. It.

  Because she fucking smiled, and it was like the sun had come out from behind the clouds, lighting up her whole face to the point she fucking glowed. I knew right then that one man’s loss had just become my treasure because there was no way I knew what I was doing but at the same time there was no way I was letting her go, the attraction was just that strong.

  I told my inner cave man to get back in his hole and I smiled back at her and made myself as good as my word. I stood there and waited for her to figure out what she wanted to smell like, although when I’d carried her from the shower, smelling like my body wash hadn’t been a bad thing. I’d kind of liked my smell all over her. Way more than I should have for having just met her. Hell I think I was sunk the moment she’d looked at me with those bright golden eyes of hers. I sighed. I watched her move carefully up and down the aisle and decided to make it a priority to learn more about her.

  Finally, satisfied with her decisions she returned to the cart with a bottle of shampoo, conditioner, body wash and I think lotion and hairspray or some shit. I didn’t really care. I smiled at her again and asked if she was ready to go. She nodded carefully but I could tell she thought she was forgetting something. Her face was an open book.