Shattered & Scarred: The Sacred Hearts MC

by A. J. Downey

  “I second that motion.” Reaver said and she laughed.

  “I don’t know if I should feel bad that you just watched…” She said.

  “No, God no… You two are fucking hot as hell.” He said.

  I raised her up and kissed her long and languorous. I was so proud of her for being brave, for flying in the face of convention, for trying things outside her comfort zone… but truth be told that was the magic of a lake run. People did things here they would never normally do. What happened on a lake run usually stayed on a lake run. It was like a mini Vegas experience.

  “Again.” She whispered into my mouth and I smiled. That was my girl…

  Chapter 22

  Ashton…

  I felt amazing. Sexy, beautiful, empowered and all because I’d made love to one man and let another watch. Reaver stayed a respectful distance but I could feel his eyes on me caressing every curve with his gaze as he stroked his cock in his hand.

  I was so turned on that I asked Ethan if we could go again. He smiled against my mouth and sat up, with me still straddling his boxer clad hips all though admittedly the crisp cotton was pretty well soaked from us.

  “You want Reaver to stay?” Ethan asked me and I looked over to him. I held out my hand and he raised his eyebrows. He got up and came over to me. I turned my face up and asked him with my eyes to kiss me.

  “You got a condom bro?” he asked Ethan.

  “Don’t need one as long as you’re clean.” I murmured and his eyebrows drew down into a frown.

  “Why not?” he asked.

  “Sterile.” I whispered and I felt Ethan’s hands rub up and down my body in comfort and reassurance.

  “I’m sorry.” Reaver said and brought his lips gently to mine. I carefully wrapped my hand around him. He was soft and needed some coaxing to get hard again. Ethan had slipped out of me but I could feel his cock stiffening between us.

  Ethan sucked a nipple into his mouth and I gasped into Reaver’s, he moaned back into mine and grew harder in my hand. I stroked him and he thrust into my hand, the moisture from his come coated my palm and made it easier for him to slick through my fingers. He broke the kiss and threw back his head, Ethan turned me and devoured my mouth with his and I moaned a little helplessly into it. Ethan broke the kiss after a time and whispered for me to get on my knees in the middle of the bed. He slipped off and took off his boxers. He and Reaver murmured back and forth and the bed dipped on either side as they both climbed on.

  “Do you trust us?” Ethan asked me.

  “Yes.” I murmured and I did.

  “Okay Babe.”

  Reaver got in front of me and Ethan behind me. He slicked the head of his cock through my folds and sank into me slowly, deeply…

  “Will you suck me?” Reaver asked softly and I nodded, taking him into my mouth. He moaned and held my hair gently back from my face. I rolled my eyes and tipped my head back to look up the length of his body into his deep blue eyes. He gasped and the look of adoration he cast down on me warmed me to my toes. I moaned around Reaver’s long cock as Ethan gently and carefully thrust into me from behind. God it felt so good.

  Their hands, caressed and massaged their way across my body and I closed my eyes, and just felt them. Reaver pulled his hips back and freed himself from my mouth. I swallowed and closed my eyes as Ethan slipped free of my vagina. I felt their loss keenly. Ethan propped his back against the headboard and pulled me against him, my back to his front. He held my arms across my chest and wrapped me in his embrace. He whispered encouraging things in my ear, telling me I was beautiful and how much I pleased him.

  Reaver knelt between my thighs and Ethan claimed my mouth in a kiss. I expected Reaver to push his way inside me, I wanted him to, but instead he lowered his face to my curls. He found my clit with his tongue and lapped at it with gentle teasing strokes. I writhed but Ethan held me fast. A finger slid into me and I cried out into Ethan’s mouth. He smiled against my mouth and I felt Reaver smile against my pussy.

  Reaver sat up and came forward on his knees. He was at a bad angle to enter me so he lifted my hips, fingers digging into my ass.

  “You’re sure?” he asked and I loved that he did. Ethan freed my mouth and I gasped…

  “Yes!”

  It was all the encouragement he needed. He pressed to my opening and pressed deep, the wetness of my arousal making him glide effortlessly inside.

  “Oh god yeah!” he said and threw his head back.

  “Harder please.” I begged and he indulged me. He drew back and surged forward and I was pressed back further into Ethan’s arms. Ethan kissed my shoulder and Reaver set a powerful rhythm. I felt my arousal heighten and I clenched down around him.

  “Ohhh fuck…” he breathed.

  Ethan held me with one powerful arm, the other drifted down my body, gliding against my skin, his fingers found their mark and he teased my clit gently. I shuddered in his embrace and with a cry came apart. Ethan locked his mouth to mine and kissed me deeply while Reaver pulled out of me with a final cry and hunched on the mattress, breathing hard. Ethan hauled me up higher on his body and guided himself into Reaver’s place of a moment before.

  I sank down on to his familiar length and he rolled his hips. I gasped and he moved a bit to get a better angle, his arms sliding beneath my thighs so that he could lift me better.

  “God I love that I can do this!” he growled into my ear and I laughed which broke and turned into a cry of pleasure as he thrust up into me over that spot. Reaver watched us smiling and put his fingers against my stomach, playing the pad of his thumb over my clit. I jerked in Ethan’s arm, the nub still over sensitive from my last orgasm. Reaver let up on the pressure just a little and I felt that growing warmth and heaviness in my womb signaling another build. I tightened around Ethan and my breath came faster. The feel of him slipping and pressing against my walls was incredible and I couldn’t get enough. I cried out his name and could hear his smile as he encouraged me.

  “That’s it Baby, come for me just one more time.” He crooned next to my ear in a low sexy growl and it was all I needed. I felt myself tighten, and my whole body shudder as wave upon wave of pure blissful energy swept across my body, radiating out from my core. It took Ethan just a few strokes more before he was crying out, crushing me against his body with near bruising force. He bit into my shoulder and I pulsed around him with an aftershock.

  The three of us collapsed against the bed gasping and boneless, lazy with satiation and satisfaction.

  “We need showers.” Reaver stated succinctly and Ethan laughed.

  “Better let Ashton go first,” he said, “Bathroom’s not big enough for all three of us and I want to make sure she has some hot water.”

  “I need to get my legs back first.” I groaned. I was pretty sure if I tried to stand right this second I wouldn’t be able to keep my feet under me. I closed my eyes and reclined against Ethan who held me lightly. I felt a hand caress up my calf and I opened my eyes and smiled down at Reaver who was on his back sprawled across the bed where there was room for him.

  “Thank you.” He said simply.

  “For what?” I asked.

  “Sharing yourself with me.” He said simply and I smiled.

  “I should be the one thanking you two.” I said softly.

  “For what?” Ethan asked.

  “For giving me one of the wildest experiences of my life and not making me feel dirty for wanting it is a good start.” I said. Ethan kissed me on my shoulder over the stinging impression of his teeth. Reaver kissed the side of my knee.

  “Nothing dirty about what we just did,” Reaver said, “You’re a beautiful, wild lake nymph, and as such we did our duty as a mere mortal men and worshiped you accordingly.” He said matter-of-factly, patting the side of my leg and I laughed a long peal of laughter that made both of them laugh too. He was ridiculous, sweet and ridiculous.

  “Shower before we get any ideas.” Ethan said grinning and I rolled off the bed and l
anded in a crouch beside it, standing slowly. I was sore, happy but sore. I picked out a pair of shorts and a tank top, bra and panties out of the bag and went for the door.

  “I’ve created a monster.” Ethan mock bemoaned and I shot him a grin over my shoulder before padding barefoot and naked down the hall and into the bathroom. It was early enough yet that the common areas of the cabin were still deserted.

  I showered and dressed and was rubbing my hair briskly with my towel when the door opened and Ethan slipped in.

  “You doin’ okay Babe?” he asked and I smiled up at him he smiled down at me and kissed me.

  “I’m better than okay.” I breathed and he laughed.

  “I’m glad.” He gave me a swat on the butt.

  “Coffee on the kitchen counter. The sun on the lake is pretty spectacular, good view from the porch swing.” He smiled and I ducked out of the bathroom. It was a lovely suggestion. I poured myself a cup of coffee and added cream and sugar. I slipped out onto the porch and sat at one end of the long porch swing and kicked my feet which didn’t touch the ground.

  It was peaceful and cool out here and I sipped my coffee and appreciated the view. It was beautiful and comfortable and idyllic… I sighed in contentment and the ugly of the last few weeks slid off my shoulders and ran like sand between the cracks of the wooden decking of the cabin’s wrap around porch.

  The scrape of a boot in the door way had me looking up, I expected Ethan or Reaver but it was Dray. He looked a mess, one eye and cheek bruised, the crust of a scab at the corner of his mouth. He held one arm tight against his side as if it pained him. He wore a black tee shirt with the sleeves and sides cut out and more bruising peeked out of the gaping holes along his ribs. His deep night-dark eyes looked sorrowful and I went to stand.

  “Please no, don’t get up.” He put out a hand the movement too swift, and winced.

  “Careful.” I intoned. He looked at me gravely.

  “I was wondering if I could talk to you.” He said. I opened my mouth and shut it. Finally I nodded. He came around and sat down on the opposite end of the swing leaving a healthy distance between us.

  I took a drink of my coffee.

  “I am so sorry Ashton.” He said, and his eyes closed as if the apology pained him. I raised an eyebrow and before I knew what I was going to say it was out of my mouth.

  “I don’t get it, why don’t you like me?” I asked softly. He looked at me startled.

  “You don’t think I like you?” he asked, surprised.

  “Well no… you’ve never been nice to me, you’re always glaring at me or mad at me and I don’t even know what I did to offend you.” I shrugged.

  “Oh.” He said and sounded thoughtful. I looked him over, I mean really looked at him and realized he was a lot younger than I gave him credit for initially. I thought he was twenty-five or twenty-six but now I wasn’t so sure.

  “How old are you Dray?” I asked softly.

  “Twenty-one.” He said, and again I’d caught him off guard. His anger made him seem a lot older. I thought about it then decided nothing ventured, nothing gained…

  “Why are you so angry?” I asked.

  “What, with you?” he asked frowning.

  “With me, with the club, your dad, at the whole damned world… You’re just pissed off all the time. Why?” I asked.

  “Because I miss my mom…” he said and I could see the answer surprised even him. We looked at each other for a long time.

  “Tell me about her?” I asked carefully.

  “Promise me something first.” He said and the look on his face, so lost and scared made me want to promise him anything. Dray Trujillo was hurting, a lot…

  “What?” I asked.

  “Promise you’ll still sing at my mom’s thing tonight.” He said.

  “Of course I will.” I said, softening.

  “My mom was small like you but she was a pint sized power house.” He started, haltingly, he looked up at the porch ceiling.

  “She always had the answers, to everything. She helped me with my homework, fixed my cuts; drove me to my sports, always made sure I had food in my stomach and clothes on my back. She was just everything, my mom, my best friend… Dad was out on runs a lot so for a good chunk of me growing up it was almost like living with a single parent.” He shrugged a shoulder.

  “Can I tell you something?” I asked cautiously.

  “Not sure why you would want to after what I did.” He said and the look he gave me was full of remorse and misery. I ignored the comment and said what I had to say…

  “It was just me and my mom. My dad skipped town when I was three, I don’t even remember his face.” I shrugged. “I was nine when they first diagnosed the breast cancer. They did surgery and radiation and we thought she was okay but it came back when I was ten, she died by the time I was eleven.” I looked at him.

  “Sorry.” He said.

  “I finished growing up in foster care,” I whispered, “I didn’t have a dad, or an adoptive family of rough around the edges motor cycle gang members to lean on.” He smiled and I smiled and huffed a laugh.

  “They didn’t protect her.” He said with a shrug.

  “I still don’t fully understand what happened…” I admitted.

  “Uhhh, it was five years ago. My dad and the club were into some heavy shit back then. I was sixteen and on the verge of going from hang-around to prospect. My mom, me, a bunch of other guys… we were all sitting in the old club house.” He shifted in his seat and took a minute before he got started again.

  “I guess a buy went south and some of the buyers got busted but my dad and the guys doing the sell got out, no one got identified or arrested so these buyers, some of their people decided to get some retribution. Sayin’ shit like my dad and the others were rats, which is why they didn’t go down in the bust. They drove out to our club house. I was behind the bar pouring my mom a drink when they opened fire on the place with automatic weapons.” He swallowed.

  “I hit the floor, all this glass and booze and shit raining down on top of me. My mom took two hits in the initial onslaught. Hit her…” he choked on a strangled sob.

  “Hit her heart. She was dead before she hit the floor.” He looked at me and his loss was sharp, agony radiated from his dark eyes and I waved at him.

  “C’m ‘ere.” I said and he just sort of fell over sideways on the bench laying his head in my lap, looking out over the water. I smoothed his chin length hair out of his face while his tears soaked the top of my leg.

  “So why are you mad at me?” I asked.

  “I’m not.” He sniffed. “You’re just small like her. I don’t know, if I had to guess, I’d say I was tryin’ to scare you away from this mess. I don’t think you need to get hurt anymore.” I was quiet. “I know it doesn’t make any sense…” he said.

  “Actually it does.” I said softly. It was a child like mentality or logic but grief does funny things to people, especially when a parent is involved. For years I secretly harbored the belief that my bad grades had stressed my mom out which was what had allowed the cancer to win. It’s what had turned me into an instant over achiever. Like by getting better grades, going to college, I would somehow atone for the bad grades that had helped end her.

  Stupid? As an adult, yes… but as a confused child that had just lost her only parent it had made perfect sense at the time. By the time I had reached high school I had just wanted to keep busy, keep my honors status and thought by doing so I would make my mother proud where ever she was. My success was how I measured being a good daughter for my dead mother, and then it became all about being a good wife for Chadwick.

  Now… with Ethan’s help, I was figuring out how to live for me, love for me, and just be a better me for me. That didn’t mean I had to stop being there for other people or doing things for other people and with that realization some of the shattered shards of me fell back into place.

  “How can you get it when I don’t even get it myself?” he
asked, and sniffed.

  “Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual Dray, plus I’ve had a little more time to figure some things out.” I said softly. I was definitely living proof of that. The rustle of cloth had me turning my attention to the doorway. Ethan stood there glowering. I smiled faintly.

  You okay? He mouthed in my direction and I smiled genuinely and nodded my head. Dray sighed, he hadn’t noticed Ethan yet, his dark eyes troubled and far away as he looked out over the water. I was still petting his hair and startled when I realized how soft it was.

  “I should have done something, anything that day.” He said, the guilt lacing his voice a caustic thing. Eating away at him.

  “So what? Your father could be here mourning two deaths instead of one?” I asked softly. Dray jolted at the harshness in my tone.

  “Your father loves you Dray. More than you probably realize. He’s proud of you, but hearing you talk, I think you two just don’t know how to relate to one another.” He shook with a fresh sob and more tears wet my leg.

  “He won’t talk about her with me. I need that.” The younger man said.

  I looked up and over startled at a soft swear. Dragon stood just behind Ethan and I frowned. Dray sat up startled and I could tell it hurt.

  “Easy.” I said.

  “Sorry.” He said and looked embarrassed, “Look what I did and here you are listening to me spill my guts like a fucking pansy.”

  “Do you feel better?” I asked as he raked a forearm over his eyes.

  “Yeah.” He said startled.

  “Then that’s all that matters.” I said softly and stood up. I went and took Ethan’s hand, my cup of coffee in the other and stood square in front of Dragon.

  “You and your son need to talk.” I said pointedly and dragged Ethan back into the cabin.

  “What was that?” he asked me once we were safely out of earshot and in the kitchen.

  “Do you trust me?” I asked him softly.

  “Yeah babe of course I do.” He said.

  “Then it’s none of your business.” I said and grimaced at how sharp I sounded. Ethan laughed gently and pulled me against him.