Dealing with Demons

by Melissa Haag

  Five guys carried another up the steps then maneuvered him outside. It wasn’t an easy feat since he fought their hold and swore against the sock stuffed in his mouth the entire time.

  Brad pulled out the gag as the rest of the group set him down. The guy came up swinging. Two guys caught his arms, and Brad started fast-talking.

  Brad told him that he could calm down outside and drink some water or Brad would call him a ride. Angry but defeated, the guy slumped onto a snow-covered chair. I cringed, but he didn’t seem to notice the cold.

  Everyone except Brad and the guy in the chair came back in. I closed the doors behind them.

  Beatriz sprinted up the stairs just then.

  “Liquor is locked up,” she showed me a little golden key, “and water is being served.” She looked out the window at her brother. “Can you go to the closet by the front door and grab Brad a jacket while I get Tommy some water?”

  Figuring Tommy was the drunk in the chair, I nodded. The front door no longer stood open, which explained why it felt warmer inside. I stepped over the randomly placed shoes and nudged the closet door open enough to pull out a worn canvas jacket.

  Beatriz took both the jacket and the water outside. I watched through the window as Brad smiled his thanks. He took the water from her and offered it to Tommy. Tommy didn’t appreciate the effort and started swearing again. With a dark look at Tommy, Brad sent Beatriz back in.

  “He’s going to be in for it in the morning,” she said as she closed the doors.

  “Which one?” I asked as I looked over the snacks. They’d been thoroughly picked through. Broken chip remains littered the bottoms of several bowls.

  “Tommy. Brad’s using his phone to record him.” She snickered to herself and then caught my confused look. “He was swearing at me. Brad is way overprotective. But, he’ll wait until Tommy’s feeling better to talk to him about it. I’m betting I get breakfast out of this.”

  I checked the clock above the sink.

  “I think I’m going to head out.” Beatriz started to protest, but I cut her off with a hug good-bye. “I have to work in the morning. Thank you for inviting me. It’s been fun.”

  “But we didn’t get to challenge the drunks to air hockey...”

  I laughed and shook my head.

  “Next time.”

  “Promise?”

  “Sure.” I doubted there’d be a next time soon, though. She walked me to the door and helped me find my shoes. Grudgingly, she retrieved my jacket, too.

  “Do you need to call the hottie?” she asked as I bundled up.

  It was a good question. I’d assumed he’d give me a ride home, but we never talked about it.

  Something in my face gave away my thoughts because Beatriz gave a slow shake of her head. “You need a ride home, don’t you?”

  “I forgot to ask him. Can I use your phone to call my mom?” I didn’t relish the idea but knew she’d come get me.

  “Are you serious? This is an under-age party. She’ll freak out. I don’t want to get Brad in trouble.” Beatriz started to look panicked.

  “Don’t worry. My mom’s not like that at all. She already knows where I am and what I’m doing.”

  Beatriz didn’t look convinced.

  “You don’t have that guy’s number?”

  “Morik,” I said, supplying her with a name. “And no, I don’t have his number. He always seems to show up just when I need him.” At that moment, we caught the distant rumble of a motorcycle.

  “You’re not kidding.” She smiled at me triumphantly and pulled open the door.

  We both watched the single light turn into her driveway.

  “Thanks again. It was fun.” I left her at the door as Morik parked.

  He handed me the helmet and didn’t offer to help but watched me closely to make sure I put it on correctly.

  As soon as I settled on the seat behind him, he started down the drive. I hid behind him as we sped down the salt-melted roads, but the pins and needles in my legs were inevitable.

  He pulled in front of my house, killed the engine, and helped me from the back. Frozen and wanting to hurry inside, I handed him the helmet. But I hesitated when I noticed his eyes through his yellow sunglasses. Streaks of vibrant orange swirled in their mercury depths.

  “Did you find what you were looking for?” he asked quietly.

  “Looking for?” As I said it, what I’d done became clear, and I wanted to kick myself.

  He’d spent a long time tracking me down. When he’d found me, he had waited to show me his true form because he’d been afraid that he would scare me, which he had, a little. Then, after I’d proven I could touch him and see him without fear, which had probably given him hope that I saw him as a choice, I had gone to a party where I could continue to search for an alternate choice.

  “I don’t know what I’m looking for,” I admitted honestly. “None of this feels right to me. I know you’re a choice. I’m not discounting you. I’m not discounting anyone.” I stuffed my hands in my pockets in frustration. “I can’t do what the women before me have done. They tell me to just pick someone. I don’t want a stranger. I’m sorry my going to the party hurt you. I didn’t mean it that way. I just don’t want to die and am looking for a way to make everyone happy.”

  He studied me for a moment. The orange in his eyes dimmed, but didn’t recede completely.

  “Need help getting to sleep?” he finally asked.

  “Please,” I said gratefully, not just for his offer but also for his understanding.

  We walked together to the door. I let myself in. However, when I looked back, he was gone. The house was quiet, but my mom waited in the living room with Aunt Danielle.

  “Everything go all right?” Mom asked quietly as she stood and unwrapped the knit blanket from her shoulders.

  “From Beatriz’s point of view, it did. Nothing much happened for me, though, but not from lack of trying,”

  “I’m sorry you haven’t connected with anyone yet, Tessa. I do worry about that constantly, but I want you to be happy, too.”

  I nodded and hugged her good night before I headed to my room. Behind me, Aunt Danielle’s soft voice broke the silence though I couldn’t hear what she said.

  When I flicked on my light, I wasn’t surprised to see Morik at the desk or that the puzzle was complete. I nudged the door closed with my heel and sat on the bed to peel off my socks. Everything was cold. My toes didn’t want to move.

  Picking up my pajamas, I went to the bathroom to change and brush my teeth. I let the water run hot just so I could warm my hands when I rinsed. The warmth didn’t last long. Wet fingers in a cold house didn’t have a chance. The good news was that I wouldn’t be awake much longer to notice it.

  I hurried back to my bedroom, ready to get under the covers. Morik waited beside my bed. As soon as I entered, he started the chant. I barely made it to the bed before I felt the first pull of sleep. He helped me sit then lifted my legs in. The bed and blankets were already warm as if they’d just come out of the dryer. I smiled sleepily.

  “Thank you, Morik. I love being warm.” Then, I was out.

  Chapter Eleven

  Like the day before, I woke up late and had to scramble to get ready for work. However, everyone seemed more relaxed when I strode into the kitchen. Morik and Mom sat together at the table, and the lingering aroma of fried eggs hung in the air. My stomach growled, and I briefly wished I’d woken earlier.

  Morik stood as I entered.

  “I can’t be late,” I said instead of a polite good morning.

  “Do you want to eat first?” Even as he asked, he moved with me.

  “Can’t.” I called good-bye to my mom and rushed out the door.

  Moments later, we raced through the streets. When he pulled in front of the Coffee Shop, I ripped off the helmet and dismounted. My hurried moves nearly tipped us over, but Morik quickly braced his feet on the ground and kept us upright.

  “Sorry,” I said, tossing h
im the helmet. “Lunch is on me if you want to stop in again.” Not waiting for his answer, I raced inside.

  “Tessa, I wish I had your luck,” Mona said from behind the counter.

  I hurried to the back hall and put my things away. “What do you mean?”

  “To have a guy watch me like that...” The wistful note in her voice caught my attention as I pulled my hair back.

  “Like what?” I glanced at the window across the shop, but Morik was already gone.

  “Like he just saw something he had to have and was plotting a way to get it. It’s the same look my ex had in his eye when he saw the pickup truck he now owns,” she said with a grin.

  I didn’t want Morik to look at me like that. It made me feel guilty for going to the party last night. Thankfully, I didn’t have time to dwell on it as customers filled the shop.

  Toward noon, the rush died off until most of the tables were empty. The lull before the lunch crowd, if you could call it a crowd, gave Mona and me time to regroup. While Mona went to restock some of the sandwich ingredients in the back, I started wiping down the counter.

  The bell above the door rang. I looked up with a ready smile on my lips. The smile grew when I saw it was Brad. His warm brown gaze found me, and he smiled in return as he made his way to the counter.

  “So, you made it to work.”

  “Yeah, but barely. Thankfully, I have a friend who’s willing to give me a ride.”

  “Well, you did better than half the people who came last night. The last one woke up and left about an hour ago. Beatriz, Tommy, and I just finished cleaning up.”

  “How’s Tommy doing this morning?” I asked, remembering how drunk he’d been.

  “He’s good. Groveling for Beatriz’s forgiveness.”

  I could imagine Beatriz’s reaction to the groveling and gave a small chuckle.

  “What did he say that got him in so much trouble?”

  Warming to the conversation, Brad leaned against the counter. “Ah, the lipping off wasn’t as bad as throwing up in her bathroom.”

  I laughed. Just then, the bell rang again. I looked over in time to see Morik paused in the doorway, completely focused on Brad. It took effort not to let my worry show in my expression as Brad followed my gaze and nodded a brief greeting, not noticing Morik’s intense regard.

  Inwardly cringing over how this probably looked to Morik, I turned to Brad again. He appeared completely unaware of the tension he’d just caused.

  “Are you looking for coffee to take back for everyone, then?” I didn’t look up at the sound of the door closing.

  “Sure, I’ll have a cup to go. You choose the flavor. I’m not much of a connoisseur.” As I started making his order, he added, “I actually just stopped in to make sure you got home okay last night. Beatriz told me how your friend picked you up on a motorcycle. Pretty dangerous, given the snow and how cold it was. No frostbite or spills?”

  I kept my eyes on my task instead of checking on Morik’s progress through the nearly empty room.

  “I trust him completely or I wouldn’t have gotten on the bike.” I didn’t say anything about the frostbite, though.

  Brad nodded, seemingly satisfied, and I handed him his coffee in exchange for a five. When I moved to the register, he told me to put the change in the tip jar.

  “I’m glad you and Beatriz are friends. See you around.”

  After Brad walked out the door, Morik stepped up to the counter. It was hard to guess his thoughts with his eyes covered. When he didn’t immediately say something, I stretched forward, reaching over the counter to nudge his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose. He didn’t try to stop me.

  His usually multi-colored silver irises had disappeared in a sea of red with orange, stormy centers. No liquid silver remained. I didn’t know what it meant, but I knew that whatever emotion those colors were tied to was a strong one. And, probably not a good one.

  Thinking of Clavin’s broken leg, I reached out with both hands and cupped Morik’s face.

  “Brad was just being nice to his kid sister’s friend.”

  Morik closed his eyes but didn’t move away. I waited, holding his face. He reached up, placed his hand over mine briefly, then pulled away entirely and pushed his sunglasses back into place. He ordered a coffee and sandwich as if nothing had happened then offered to wait to give me a ride home.

  Mona didn’t seem to mind his lingering presence while we cleaned up. Again, she disappeared into the back to count out the tips. When she handed them to me, she told me the Coffee Shop would be closed next weekend so we could enjoy Christmas.

  Unlike the day before, Morik left after he dropped me off at home. I watched the retreating motorcycle for a moment and re-evaluated my plan. Though he’d assured me that he would respect any choice I made, I worried about choosing someone else. He definitely didn’t like other men around me. Despite my limited time, I’d have to hold off on my own search until I found someone for him.

  “Where’s Morik?” Aunt Danielle asked when I walked into the house.

  “Not sure. He didn’t say what his plans were.” I hung up my things and moved to the couch to put my feet up. “Where’s Mom?”

  “Out with her boss, Stephen, again.”

  I sprang up from my relaxed position and swiveled toward her.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Lunch date, I think.” Aunt Danielle became bored with the conversation and leaned back into her chair, closing her eyes.

  My mom was on a date. I sat there frozen, trying to get past the shock. A date. Why didn’t she say anything to me? I felt hurt. All her talk about being honest with each other obviously only applied to me.

  “Don’t be upset, dear. There are only a few short years they’ll be free of obligation to you. Once your husband dies, they will band together again to help you. Don’t begrudge them their happiness.”

  Them? Then, I remembered Gran talking about the elderly neighbor. It explained where she went without a car. Did that mean Aunt Grace had found someone, too? Were they all waiting for me to choose so they could have a normal life for a little while?

  Quietly, I closed myself in my bedroom. There, I lay on my bed, curled on my side as I hugged my pillow and faced the wall. It was too much pressure. How did they deal with this when they were my age? Mom had made it sound like choosing my dad had been unintentional. I wished that would happen to me.

  Part of my problem was the guilt I felt over knowingly condemning some poor man to an early grave. Now, I could add another scoop of guilt that I was holding the rest of the family back from having normal lives. What would happen if I weren’t here? Would it be so bad not to choose? What was I saying?

  Morik wanted a companion. I needed to stop running from it and do what Belinda couldn’t.

  I wondered if Morik really did listen all the time.

  “Morik, what do I have to do to choose?”

  A moment later, the mattress dipped as he sat next to me.

  “Why are you asking?”

  I didn’t turn. Holding my pillow close, I continued to stare at the wall.

  “According to Mom and Gran, it’s not as simple as walking up to someone and saying ‘I choose you.’ But, most of the time, they make it sound like going on a date would be enough.”

  “You have to choose in your mind and your heart.”

  “How can that be? I’ve heard Gran talking about her husband. She didn’t really like him.”

  “She saw her daughter, though. It was enough for her heart to choose.”

  Not a single, potential future I experienced had ever been enough for me. All those cute little cherub faces, even the ones that stayed with me for days afterward, hadn’t been enough to outweigh the guilt I felt over causing someone’s premature death. If it had, I would have chosen.

  The phone rang, stopping my train of thought. Since I was the only one home, I forced myself to get up.

  Morik stayed in my room while I went to answer it. Sitting on Mom’s
bed, I said a quiet hello.

  Beatriz chirped a greeting.

  “I’m bored, you’re done with work, and it’s light out. I think you should have hottie drive you over here. He can join the guys in their air hockey tournament while we spectate.”

  “I heard Tommy christened your bathroom,” I said, ignoring her invitation. Going to her house again wouldn’t be fair to Morik. I’d promised him an hour a day.

  “Yeah, Brad mentioned he talked to you about that. I think he was worried you wouldn’t come by again because last night got a little crazy. He thinks I need more friends.” She snorted in disbelief. “Most everyone in our school is a backstabber or a gossip. No thanks. So, can you come over?”

  I glanced at the open bedroom door and thought of Morik in my room; I knew I couldn’t go. Given his attitude last night and his reaction to Brad’s appearance at the Coffee Shop, it was safe to guess he wouldn’t be happy about a repeat visit.

  “I’m sorry, Beatriz, but I don’t think Morik is in the company kind of mood today.”

  “Aw! That sucks. If you still want to come over, I can get Tommy or Brad to pick you up and take you back home.”

  I twisted my finger in the antiquated phone cord.

  “Thanks Beatriz, but I ditched Morik last night. I can’t do that to him two days in a row.”

  Morik’s hand covered mine, stopping the agitated twisting. I looked up in surprise, not realizing he’d joined me.

  “We’ll be there in twenty minutes,” he said.

  Beatriz squealed loudly through the phone. I jerked it away from my ear with a wince. Obviously, I didn’t need to relay what he’d said.

  I mouthed “why?”

  “You could use the fun,” he said.

  “He’s right, you know,” Beatriz said. “You’re way too serious. Let him know that there will only be a few people here, nothing crazy like last night.”

  I agreed to tell him and quickly hung up the phone. Morik and I stared at each other. I hadn’t forgotten the conversation Beatriz’s call had interrupted but wasn’t sure if I wanted to revisit it. I felt like a failure just thinking about my inability to choose. How could the other women in my family so easily pick someone? Well, not everyone. Aunt Danielle understood.