The Good Neighbour

by Beth Miller

  ‘All right Davey, thank you very much, I know what I said. I made a mistake, OK? Lola, stop damn well winding me up. Get out of my sight for a minute, please.’

  Lola retreated to the living room and Cath heard her crying.

  ‘Mum, please,’ Davey said. ‘I want to be upstairs, with everyone else.’

  ‘Look,’ Cath said, opening the door to the dining room, ‘I think it’s bigger than your room.’

  Cath dropped the kids off at school and nursery, then went back home and lay down on the bed. She was exhausted, no wonder she’d made such a stupid error. She thought of the children as Davey and Lola now, but clearly their original names could still come out under pressure. She was aware of some early warning signs – shortness of breath, a hollow sensation at the back of her head – that meant she was starting to get overwhelmed. If left unchecked, these could lead to ‘the wiry feeling’. She couldn’t describe it any more clearly than that. It was as if the nerves in her body, particularly in her arms, were made of thin metal wire, the sort you get inside pipe cleaners, and the wires were lifting up inside her, straining towards the surface of her skin, threatening to burst it open.

  She’d explained it to Gina’s mum, Fay, years ago – she’d just been a young kid then, fifteen or sixteen. ‘Anxiety,’ Fay called it, and suggested various coping strategies, including breathing exercises, focusing on a small task, visualisation and having a bath. But nothing soothed the wiriness down as successfully as Cath regaining control of a situation. Like that time when she was so worried about little Libby going home and not getting the treatment she needed. Cath stepped in when no one else was willing to, had taken charge, and the wiriness had tamped right back down. Or what about when Darren, no, don’t think about Darren.

  Another of Fay’s suggestions, which sometimes helped, if the wiriness wasn’t too far advanced, was to sleep it off. Cath tried that now, falling asleep quickly and luckily not having any dreams. When she awoke forty minutes later she felt refreshed, the feeling little more than a fading tingle now. She updated her notebook with some more details about Josie next door, Liam’s wife. She’d been chatting to her this morning. Josie was thirty-three – she mentioned this twice – and asked Cath how old she was when she’d had Davey. Cath locked her notebook away, then called round for Minette, inviting her to come for a swim. Exercise sometimes helped, too.

  ‘You were so clever to find out about this,’ Minette said, as they took Tilly into the crèche at the leisure centre. A smiling young woman in a brightly coloured jumper distracted Tilly with a Fisher Price activity centre, so that she didn’t even notice Minette leaving. ‘I can’t believe it’s so cheap. I’ll be here all the time now.’

  Despite having lived here for only six weeks, Cath knew considerably more about the local facilities than Minette. She’d told her about the baby-friendly café in the North Laine, and the weekly film screenings you could take under-ones into. She’d also introduced Minette to the exciting possibility of getting your hair done while someone looked after your kid. There was a lot to admire about Minette, but she was sometimes a bit wet. Ha, good one, Cathykins, cos she was currently soaking, doing that fancy front crawl with the proper breathing on each side. Cath moved up and down the pool with her slower, more splashy crawl, breathing randomly every three or four strokes.

  Afterwards they sat with coffees in the leisure centre café. Cath put her stats into her phone. ‘Twenty lengths, not too bad. Got to build up to thirty.’

  ‘You’re doing well.’

  ‘It ain’t fast but I get there in the end,’ Cath said. ‘But hey, you’re a really good swimmer. You should do the triathlon with me.’

  Minette shook her head. ‘I’d love to help you with fundraising. But I can’t do the actual race. I don’t like cycling.’

  ‘I don’t either. Go on, we could train together, it’d be a laugh.’

  ‘I got a bit put off bikes when my friend Ros broke her wrist.’

  ‘Oh yes, I remember you saying. She your best mate?’

  ‘Yes. She and her husband moved to Bristol so I don’t see much of her.’ Minette looked a bit sorry for herself.

  ‘Listen, speed doesn’t matter at all. You can cycle slow and careful like me. Long as you finish, what’s it matter?’

  Minette said, ‘I did run a bit before Tilly came along.’

  ‘You’d help me raise so much more. And I’ll tell you one massive advantage of training for something like that.’

  ‘Lose my baby belly?’

  ‘You haven’t got one. You do get fit, sure, but more important, the training gets you out of the house. Legitimate excuse to have a break from the chores.’

  ‘That’s true. I could train when Abe gets home from work.’

  ‘Lunchtimes too. Didn’t you say he comes home for lunch?’

  Minette nodded thoughtfully. ‘And I could do mornings, it’s not like he goes into work early.’

  Cath knew when to leave an idea to percolate. ‘How much longer we got?’ she said.

  ‘Fifteen minutes.’ Minette leaned back in her chair. ‘Oh, this is bliss. I might have another coffee.’

  ‘It’s not that nice.’

  ‘I know. I don’t even like coffee much. But it’s a hot liquid I can drink in peace.’

  ‘Yep, I remember that stage. I’ll get them.’ Cath fetched two more lattes, or the brown soap bubbles that passed for them. Then she asked Minette if she would help design a poster.

  ‘Sure! What’s it for?’

  ‘I’m organising a quiz night at Davey’s school, next Friday.’

  ‘God, Cath, your schedule’s exhausting. It takes me half the day to work up to going to the shops.’

  ‘I was like that when Davey was little.’ I was never like that, Cath thought.

  They collected Tilly and went to Cath’s house, where she showed Minette the start she’d made on the poster. ‘Can you do something with this? You’re the publicity professional, after all.’

  ‘Oh, I’m not! I just did a bit of marketing for the Pavilion.’

  While Minette worked on Cath’s laptop, Tilly at her feet, Cath went up and downstairs, shifting Davey’s things into his new room, formerly the dining room. She was standing on a stool putting up his green-and-blue racing car curtains when Minette came in with a print-out.

  ‘Oh, that’s perfect,’ Cath said. ‘I’m going to have you do all my publicity.’

  Minette looked pleased. ‘Anything else I can do?’

  Still bored at home, lovie?

  ‘Well, I’ve took out the drawers, could you help me bring down the chest?’

  They went upstairs, and together began to squeeze the empty shell of the chest of drawers through the doorway.

  ‘It’s heavier than it looks,’ Minette said. ‘You prefer to be back or front?’

  ‘Is that what you say to all the boys? I’ll go backwards, it can land on me if you drop it.’

  ‘How are you going to move the rest of Davey’s furniture?’

  ‘I don’t know. I done my back in this morning.’

  ‘God, you shouldn’t be doing this, in that case.’

  ‘It’s all right. Swimming loosened it up. The only problem for tonight is his bed. It’s well heavy, proper hospital bed that you can crank up and down. Took two big mover blokes to get it up there.’

  ‘I could ask Abe to come round this evening?’

  ‘Ah, that’d be fantastic. I’m sure I can get someone else to give him a hand. Talking of neighbours, I been meaning to ask,’ Cath said, ‘any recent sightings of ol’ blue eyes next door?’

  ‘Um. I can’t remember.’

  ‘Yes, he is so very unmemorable.’

  Minette laughed. ‘I think his eyes are brown, actually. Let’s get this thing downstairs first, I’m out of puff.’

  They manoeuvred the chest into the dining room, and pushed it against the wall. Tilly was still sitting where she’d been left, though she’d managed to tip over some books Cath had pile
d on the floor.

  ‘Oh, Tilly, you monkey.’ Minette started to put the books on the shelves, then she noticed a framed photo on the desk. ‘Is that your husband?’

  ‘Yes,’ Cath said. ‘That’s Davey’s favourite picture.’

  The photo was taken a couple of years ago at a park, Andy on the swing with Davey on his knee. They were both laughing, Cath remembered, at some daft joke of Andy’s.

  Minette said, ‘He looks nice.’

  ‘Well, he used to be. It’s a bit complicated.’

  ‘Relationships are, aren’t they?’

  ‘He was nice yesterday, though. He was in Germany. It was cold there, he was wearing a massive jumper.’

  ‘Do you talk regularly?’

  ‘We Skype every week.’

  ‘When’s he back?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Cath felt it was time to open up a little. ‘I think maybe we’re having a bit of a break.’

  ‘Oh Cath, I’m sorry to hear that.’ Minette put the picture down.

  ‘It’s all right. Don’t say anything to the kids. I haven’t told them yet.’ Cath finished hanging the second curtain and stepped off the stool. ‘It was love at first sight when we met, if you can believe it.’

  ‘Was it really?’

  ‘For Andy, not for me.’ Cath giggled. ‘No, he wasn’t looking his best. I was working nights in Birmingham.’

  ‘As a nurse?’

  ‘No, lovie, as a hooker. Yes, of course, as a nurse, at the old Queen Elizabeth hospital. They’ve built a new one on top of it now with the same name. I liked that old building though. Knew it like the back of my hand.’ Cath began lining up soft toys on top of Davey’s chest of drawers. ‘I was on the children’s ward but they was short-handed one night on medical. And there was Andy, in a right old state with a ruptured appendix.’

  ‘Painful.’ Minette picked up some books.

  ‘Yes, he was feeling pretty sorry for himself. He fixed onto me, kept grabbing my hand, going, “Nurse, nurse, am I going to die?” I said, “Only if you keep grabbing me, lovie.”’

  ‘He fell for your smooth bedside manner.’

  ‘You don’t know the half of it.’

  Minette looked up. ‘Ooh, tell me!’

  Cath smiled. ‘You tell me something first.’

  ‘About Abe?’

  ‘I’d rather know about Liam.’

  Minette cast her eyes down. ‘Oh god. I feel awful about it.’

  ‘Pretend I’m your Mother Confessor.’

  ‘I wouldn’t tell this to my own mother. In fact, she’s the last person I’d tell. Jesus. OK. Well, we, uh, have, um, got to know each other a bit better. Shall I put these big books on the lower shelf?’

  ‘Does that mean you’ve shagged?’

  ‘Cath!’

  ‘But does it?’

  ‘Mmm.’

  ‘Well, good on yer, lass.’

  ‘We’ll all be dead in a hundred years, after all,’ Minette said.

  ‘Ah, Grasshopper, you have learnt well.’ Cath checked her watch. ‘I got to collect Lola in a minute. She’s only doing a half-day today. Want to walk with me, give me the gory details?’ She knew Minette would jump at it.

  ‘That’d be great!’

  Once Tilly was settled in her buggy with a bottle of milk, the two women walked along the street.

  ‘So, tell me,’ Cath whispered.

  Minette looked round to check they weren’t overheard.

  ‘It didn’t end too well.’

  ‘That’s surprising. He looks like he’d be pretty good at, well, everything.’

  ‘Oh I don’t mean that. The actual, er, time we spent together was amazing. Cath, it was unbelievable. Right up until the minute Abe walked in, unexpectedly early.’

  ‘Holy moly!’ Cath put her hand over her mouth.

  ‘It was all right, we were dressed and in the kitchen. But I practically had a heart attack,’ Minette said. ‘I’m not cut out for the cloak and dagger.’

  ‘So, are you seeing him again?’

  They crossed over, into another street. Minette said, ‘I don’t know. He texted today. I’d give anything to see him again. But I mustn’t.’

  ‘Tough call, I can see that. Will you have mind-blowing no-strings sex with your gorgeous neighbour, or won’t you?’

  Minette laughed. ‘I know, but it’s not no-strings, is it? I feel awful about his wife, and terrible about Abe. I was really feeling all, let’s go for it, “we’ll all be dead”, etc., but when Abe walked in on us I realised I’m not the type to be unfaithful.’

  ‘Is there a type?’

  Minette shrugged. ‘Trouble is, Liam’s having a crazy effect on me. I keep drifting off, daydreaming. Yesterday I even forgot to put Tilly down for her morning nap, that’s how addled I was. Couldn’t understand why she kept grizzling. Then she fell asleep in her lunch.’

  Liam must be incredible in the sack to be messing with Minette’s army-style baby routines. ‘Hasn’t Abe noticed you’ve been a bit distracted?’

  ‘No, he’s not the most observant chap. Once, not long after we moved here, I went out for the day. He was at home, unpacking. When I got back in the evening he hadn’t realised I’d been out.’

  ‘Didn’t he think you’d been a bit quiet?’

  ‘We probably had some really interesting conversations while I wasn’t there.’

  Cath laughed. ‘Anyway, don’t you think Liam’s daydreaming about you, too?’

  ‘I doubt it,’ Minette said, going red. ‘So, what was that about your bedside manner with Andy, then?’

  Minette had a lot to learn about deflecting awkward questions, but Cath decided to let her get away with that unsubtle shift. She knew enough about Liam for now, anyway. ‘Oh glory, I’ll be struck off if you tell anyone.’

  ‘Lips are so sealed.’

  ‘OK. One night, when there was only me and one other nurse on, I drew the curtains round Andy’s bed and, shall we say, gave him some oral relief from his pain.’

  ‘No! In your nurse’s uniform? No wonder he married you.’

  ‘Well, you know the old saying. A cook in the kitchen, a nurse in the bedroom …’

  ‘I don’t remember it going quite like that.’

  ‘Here we are.’ They’d arrived at Busy Tigers Preschool. ‘Handy for you, soon, for Tilly.’

  ‘That’s a great idea! I’ll ask about their waiting list.’

  Cath introduced Minette to Sharon, the manager. While they were talking, Cath went over to Lola, who was sitting on the carpet listening to one of the gormless young nursery assistants read Little Red Riding Hood. She wasn’t even really reading it, she was playing a tape of someone else reading, while she held up the book on the relevant page. She couldn’t have looked more bored. But Lola was nonetheless enthralled, and pouted when she saw Cath.

  ‘I want to hear the end.’

  ‘I’ll listen with you,’ Cath said, sitting on the floor next to her. She became aware that the tingling in her arms had started up again. A couple more pages were lazily turned – the assistant was actually chewing gum – and Cath started to feel a rising panic. Her breathing was all wrong, her arms felt wiry. The story was up to ‘What big eyes you have!’ when Cath gave a yell that made every head turn in her direction.

  ‘What the hell’s this?’ Cath screamed, holding up a sweet packet. She jumped to her feet. ‘Oh my god, who gave this to Lola?’

  Sharon ran over and turned the story-tape off. ‘What’s wrong, Mrs Brooke? What has someone given Lola?’

  ‘Look at this, what Lola was holding.’ She held up the packet. ‘Peanut M&Ms!’

  ‘Oh no,’ Sharon said. ‘Lola, did you eat any of these?’

  Lola started crying.

  ‘Lola, we need to know,’ Cath said. ‘Why was the packet in your hand?’

  ‘I don’t know!’ Lola wailed. ‘I didn’t know it was.’

  ‘Mrs Brooke,’ Sharon said, ‘we take Lola’s allergies very seriously. We don’t allow peanuts on th
e premises, we …’

  ‘Yes, I can see that,’ Cath snapped. ‘I’m going to have to take her to casualty straight away.’

  ‘No!’ Lola sobbed.

  ‘I’m sorry, lovie, if you’ve eaten peanuts …’ Cath got the epi-pen out of her bag. ‘Does your tongue feel swollen? Is your mouth itching?’

  ‘I don’t know! Maybe a bit itchy.’

  ‘Oh god,’ Minette said. ‘Can I do anything, Cath?’

  ‘Phone for a taxi, Minette, would you? I don’t have time to get the car, and I know how long an ambulance will take.’

  Minette moved away to make the call. Cath looked up and saw that a little circle of gaping toddlers and nursery staff was gathered round her. She knelt next to Lola. ‘I’m sorry, lovie, better safe than sorry.’ The wires were just below the surface of the skin, threatening to burst through.

  Lola was shivering, her tears still pouring, but she was quiet now, waiting. Minette reported that the taxi was on its way, and she held Lola’s hand while Cath banged the epi-pen into Lola’s thigh. Lola yelled, as usual.

  ‘All over now, Lolly.’

  Sharon handed over Lola’s bag and coat, looking worried. ‘Shall one of us come with you, Mrs Brooke?’

  ‘I’ll go,’ Minette said.

  Cath went outside with Lola to wait for the taxi. She could hear Sharon giving Minette a load of explanations and justifications. Worried that Minette wouldn’t apply there now, probably. She ought to be worrying about getting sued instead.

  Minette came out as the taxi arrived. ‘Oh,’ Minette said, ‘I hadn’t thought about a car seat for Tills.’

  ‘You can hold her on your lap,’ the driver said.

  ‘That’s not very safe, though, is it?’ Minette said, hesitating.

  Cath rolled her eyes. ‘Minette, we’ve got to go.’

  This is not all about you.

  ‘Oh god, sorry, yes.’ Minette got in, and put the seatbelt right round her and Tilly, holding her tight, like that would really help if they crashed.

  At A&E, a nurse gave Lola some chlorphenamine and hooked her up to an oxygen-saturation probe. Lola sat quietly as the staff whirled about her.

  ‘We’re all right now, Lola,’ Cath soothed. ‘Everything’s going to be OK.’ The wiry feeling had gone, and she relaxed for the first time in days. Hospitals were so homely and comforting. When she was little, and had to go to hospital to have her tonsils out, or her appendix, she’d never felt sad or scared to be away from home. Her mum was always so kind to her when she was ill. And she loved being looked after by the nurses. She smiled now at the pretty Chinese nurse looking at Lola’s readings. And then, of course, working as a nurse had been a joy. Happiest days of her life, mostly.