His Melody

by Nicole Green

  “Can’t you let me wallow in my misery in peace?” he asked. “I’ve heard it all already.”

  “Not from me, you haven’t.” She took a few steps into the room.

  “And what do you have to add?” To my self-loathing, he added silently.

  “You love that woman. Anybody can see that. Heck, I bet even your thick-headed brother Donnie can see that.”

  “Please,” Austin mumbled. “I barely even know her. She wasn’t here for more than a couple weeks.”

  “What, there’s a maturation date on love now?” she asked in a scornful tone. “Sure, love grows over the years, but it has to start somewhere, and it started between you two. That is, before you messed it up.” Regan twisted her lips in a disapproving fashion. She stood there, legs akimbo, one black cowboy boot tapping on the floor, and glared down at him. She looked like she was accusing him of a crime and about to drag him off to jail.

  “Even if that were true, I would’ve messed it up eventually anyway. Better sooner than later,” he said, looking down at his black sheets. “I mean, look at what happened between you and me.”

  “If you don’t stop holding that against yourself, I’m going to—I don’t know—shake you until I shake some sense into you. I don’t even hold that against you.”

  “I’m not the greatest guy.”

  “Well, knock me over with a feather. You’re not perfect.” She laughed a small humorless laugh. “You act like such a thing is possible. You screwed up, and you’ll screw up again. That is, unless you sit here, wasting your life away, afraid to make any mistakes.”

  He laughed.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. You sound like Mom is all.”

  “Good. She’s a smart woman, that mother of yours.” Regan squatted down so that they were at eye level. “Just answer me one question. Don’t you think she’s worth it?”

  “Maybe I’m not,” Austin said, once again avoiding Regan’s eyes.

  “Maybe that’s a decision you ought to leave up to her,” Regan said. “After all, she knows about just about all your demons, and she’s not the one who ran. No, you did worse than run. You pushed her away. You used some silly excuse to push her right on out of your life. Didn’t you?”

  Instead of answering, he lay back in the bed and stared at his desk across the room. He thought about the notebook he’d ripped to shreds last night and tossed in the trash.

  “I think I’ve made my point,” Regan said.

  He didn’t turn toward her, but he heard her leave the room.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Melody drove straight through, stopping only for restroom and coffee breaks. Driving was good because it kept her mind off things she had no business thinking about. She shut out thoughts of Austin kissing her, the way his skin looked and felt against hers, how good making love to him had been. No. She couldn’t have those kinds of thoughts. If she did, she wouldn’t be able to make it from one day to the next.

  Once she made her way back o the interstate, she made excellent time. She got back to Midtown around one in the morning on Thursday.

  Melody had rented an apartment in one of the new high rises in Midtown just a few months before Saeed had been hired and her job had become endangered. It was a nice place, and she’d been excited about the deal she got on it, but since she’d been fired, she wondered how she’d continue to afford it as her savings dwindled. Hopefully, she’d have a job soon. But all she had was a hope of a dream of a chance at the moment. No prospects. She had a lot of work ahead of her.

  She dragged her suitcase and overnight bag into the apartment. She set her purse on the bar that separated the kitchen from the dining room and looked around the apartment. She had left a few things in the car that could wait until tomorrow. She’d left the suitcase Austin had bought her for their night together behind in Sweet Neck. She wasn’t going to do that to herself. She’d learned the painful lesson in the past that it was best not to have things around that would only remind her of past heartbreaks she’d suffered.

  Jen had been a good apartment sitter. She’d watered her plants and picked up the mail. There was a neat pile of it on the dining room table that could also wait until tomorrow. In fact, everything could wait until tomorrow—well, later that day anyway. She turned off the living room light after locking her front door. She kicked off her shoes on the way to the bedroom. She fell onto her bed, fully clothed, and crashed.

  Melody awoke around ten Thursday morning, slowly blinking. Daylight streamed through the half open Venetian blinds. She smiled. That would be Jen’s doing. Jen and her affinity for sunlight. Melody noted that all of her blackout curtains had been shoved aside.

  Melody sat up slowly in bed and groped around for her phone. She was pretty sure she’d brought it to bed with her earlier that morning. Her fingers closed over it somewhere down by her ankle. She grabbed it and dialed first her mother’s number and then Jen’s.

  “You’re back you’re back you’re back!” Jen shouted into the phone. “Right?”

  Melody laughed. “Yes. I’m here.”

  “So what are you doing today? Want to meet for lunch?” Jen asked.

  “I have to deal with things over at New Face. I need to pick up my things, do some paperwork, all that fun stuff. And my last paycheck better be ready,” Melody said with a grimace. “Wait a minute, we? Aren’t you at work?”

  “You need me,” Jen said. “I’ll take a half-day and meet you at your place at one, okay?”

  Melody smiled. “Thanks.”

  “Of course.”

  After she got off the phone with Jen, Melody took a shower and dressed in a gray business suit and a light blue blouse. She paired the outfit with black heels. She didn’t have to look like she’d let them win even if they had. Then she went through her mail, triaging the most important things, until Jen showed up.

  Jen wore her dark chocolate brown hair up as she did most of the time for work. She wore a ruffle neck yellow blouse with a beige skirt and matching neutral heels and purse. Her oversized sunglasses rested on top of her head. She reached out for Melody with her short, thin porcelain-like arms, and Melody gratefully accepted the hug.

  “Oh Mel,” Jen said.

  “It’s such a long, crazy story.”

  “Tell me all about it,” Jen said.

  “Okay. On the way over to New Face.” Melody grabbed her purse and keys and started telling Jen the story as they headed out of the door. She started with the night of the farewell dinner as that was where the updates Melody had been giving Jen over the phone had ended.

  By the time they parked on the street in front of the building that housed New Face Records, Melody had told Jen the entire story.

  “Mel, no,” Jen said, her face showing her devastation. “I was so hoping things were going to work out for you two.”

  Melody smiled wryly. Jen, ever the optimist. “It’s okay, Jen, really. It’s not like I’m going to cry over it or anything.” She refused to. “What’s done is done. Time to move on.” She sighed. “Speaking of which.” She gestured up at the tall, downtown building. “Let’s go.”

  They went in and were buzzed up to the floor where most of the New Face offices were. Everybody gave Melody sympathetic looks and goodbyes. Some added hugs.

  “You will be missed. Sorely,” said Melody’s former assistant. She rolled her eyes at the door to Melody’s old office. One of Melody’s former colleagues, who’d always coveted the office, had taken it over according to the new name etched into the glass on the door.

  “So will you,” Melody said, giving the woman a hug.

  “Call me if you strike out on your own,” the woman whispered, shoving a business card into Melody’s hand. Melody had mentioned doing so a couple times, but she might not ever have the money for such a thing even if it might otherwise have one day conceivably been a possibility.

  “Sure will.” Melody slipped the card into her purse. No point in crushing the woman’s hopes.

 
; When Melody got to Saeed’s office, they signed all the appropriate paperwork, including that for the severance package that was Melody’s right, whether she was fired or she quit, by contract.

  “I’m sorry things couldn’t be different,” Saeed said.

  “Me, too,” Melody said, signing the last of the papers and pocketing her last paycheck, which was separate from the severance package.

  “That demo you sent me really had promise.” Saeed actually looked remorseful when he said that.

  “I know.” She tried to ignore the stab of pain she felt at the reminder of Austin.

  “No hard feelings, just business,” Saeed said, holding out his hand.

  Melody shook his hand and nodded. “Where are my boxes?”

  “Downstairs with security,” Saeed said.

  Melody walked to the door and was about to open it when Saeed called her name. She looked over her shoulder and said, “Yes?”

  “There’s no chance he’ll be at the showcase Saturday, is there?” Saeed asked, a note of hopefulness in his voice.

  “No,” Melody said, forcing her voice not to waver. “I really don’t think so.”

  Saeed nodded. Melody left the office and collected Jen from the waiting room. They went downstairs and retrieved Melody’s boxes from security. After the boxes were in the trunk, Melody said, “I want to go somewhere. Do something. I can’t sit at home all day.” Alone with my thoughts, she added silently.

  “That’s why I took the rest of the day off,” Jen said.

  “And why you’re the best friend there is,” Melody said.

  Jen laughed. “Of course.” She said, “Where do you want to go?”

  “I don’t know. Anywhere. I’m kind of hungry, though. So maybe we’ll start with lunch?”

  “Excellent idea.” Jen rubbed her hand over her non-existent, concave stomach. “What do you want to eat?”

  She almost said soul food, but then she thought of Rose’s and Myrtle’s. No. Nothing to remind her of any of that. “How about Caribbean? There’s that new Haitian place that opened in the Highlands right before I left. I never got a chance to go. Hope it’s still open.” The spot the Haitian restaurant had taken over seemed to be cursed. No restaurant lasted there more than a few months.

  “Yeah, it’s still open.” Jen said. “Let’s go.”

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Melody started up the car and darted out into the flow of traffic. She was experiencing a temporary culture shock while she readjusted to life in Atlanta. Atlanta was a Southern city, and somewhat spread out and laidback as a result, but even so, everything was still so much bigger and faster paced than in Sweet Neck. She’d missed her home, sure, but she also missed Sweet Neck.

  She missed walking to Main Street and waving to people sitting on their front porches on the way. Knowing everybody by name after just a few days of being there. The way Leigh Anne had stopped her truck in the middle of the road to have a conversation with a friend she hadn’t seen in a while and nobody had seemed to mind. Regan’s horse farm and how peaceful everything out there had been. She would love to go back one day if only it wasn’t completely and utterly out of the question. She couldn’t risk being that close to him ever again.

  Jen patted her arm. “Mel, where you going? Slow down, you’re going to miss the restaurant.”

  “Oh, right. Sorry,” Melody said. She pulled into a metered spot that was a few blocks away from the restaurant. “All that Southern fried cooking back in Sweet Neck.” She patted her hip. “I need to walk some of it off.” That wasn’t completely a lie. She needed to get back in the gym and soon.

  “Oh, I’m thinking you worked all that off just fine,” Jen said in a knowing tone.

  Melody laughed. “Shut it,” she said.

  They walked to the restaurant.

  Once they were seated, Jen asked, “What are you going to do about the showcase?”

  “What do you mean?” Melody sipped her water. Kompa music played in the background, and brightly colored murals depicting scenes from the Port-au-Prince marketplace decorated the walls.

  “Are you still going?”

  “It’s over, Jen. What would it matter?” Melody picked her menu up and flipped through it, letting her eyes skim over the words.

  “You’ve always loved going to showcases. Even before you started working in A&R, you loved going to them. Plus, you have to start job searching at some point, and you know it’s a good networking opportunity.” Jen sat back in her chair and angled her head. “I’ll come along for moral support.”

  “And to meet cute guys,” Melody said.

  They laughed.

  “Of course. You always have to be on the lookout for those you know,” Jen said.

  Melody tapped her menu on the tabletop. Jen was right. She couldn’t remain a hermit in her apartment for the rest of her life as much as she would’ve liked to. After all, she had to pay for that apartment somehow.

  “Okay,” Melody said slowly. “We’ll go.” Hopefully Saeed wouldn’t be there. She couldn’t bear the thought of looking at him again so soon. She counted on the fact that getting Saeed out to showcases was like pulling teeth. The only thing harder was getting him to listen to a demo. He’d listened to Austin’s, though.

  Austin.

  Melody opened her menu again and tried to concentrate on the words that time. What did she want? So many choices. Maybe some griot. Or stewed goat. Whatever she got, she knew she was getting red beans and rice to go with it. And pumpkin soup.

  She was back in the city where she belonged, having lunch with a friend at a new restaurant. This was her life. That other thing, whatever it had been, was just a detour. It would be best if she forgot all about anything having to do with that.

  #

  That evening, Melody made the call to Leigh Anne’s house that she’d been putting off all day. She had to let everyone know she’d made it home safe, though. After she’d spoken to Donnie and Avery and Leigh Anne got back on the phone, Melody finally got the nerve up to ask.

  “How’s Austin?” She sat back on the couch and tucked her feet under her.

  Leigh Anne didn’t answer right away. Eventually, she said in a low voice that was almost a whisper, “He won’t admit it, but I know he misses you.”

  Melody nodded even though Leigh Anne couldn’t see her. “It’s okay, Leigh Anne. You don’t have to do that.”

  “Don’t give up on my boy, please. He cares about you and he needs you, but he’s difficult. Stubborn like his daddy.”

  Melody thought about what Blanche had said on the last day she’d seen the older woman in town. “I have to go. I just wanted to check in real quick, let you know I made it back okay and that I love and miss you all.” Her breath caught in her throat. Taking a deep, calming breath, she said, “Tell Regan I made it back okay, and I said hello, okay?”

  “Okay,” Leigh Anne said.

  Melody hated the sad note in Leigh Anne’s voice, but there was nothing she could do about that.

  “I’ll talk to you soon,” Melody said.

  After a short pause, Leigh Anne said, “I sure hope so.”

  Melody put her phone on the coffee table and her head in her hands. So much had happened so quickly. She couldn’t believe it was still Thursday.

  She had a lot to do, and she didn’t want to do any of it. First and most importantly, she had to update the resume. She hadn’t touched that thing in so long, she didn’t even want to think about how much of a pain that would be. Then she needed to get the dress that she wanted to wear to the showcase dry-cleaned. She would have to take it across town to the only next-day cleaners she trusted first thing tomorrow.

  She also needed to make some calls and see who planned on being at the showcase and do her research on the industry people who’d be there as well as the acts who would be on stage. Now that she was jobless, every social event was also a business event. She had to network, get her name and face out there again. She had a ton of calls to make. She al
so needed to renew her subscriptions to a few industry journals and take care of some lapsed memberships as well. And she needed new business cards. All. Too. Much.

  At least that should be enough to keep her from thinking about a certain someone. She knew that from experience. Just like after the divorce, she had to keep moving forward. Had losing her ex-husband hurt this much, though? With him, she mostly remembered feeling hurt pride that he would have the audacity to cheat on her. For better or worse, she loved Austin Holt with her whole heart. She was pretty sure she’d never felt anything this deeply for anyone. Ever. Not even her ex.

  She forced herself up from the sofa because otherwise she would fall asleep on it. First things first. A hot shower and then bed. One step at a time.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  When Austin opened his eyes Friday morning, his first thought was that the showcase was the next day. His second thought was that everything had been riding on that showcase for Melody. His third was that she’d been right and so had everybody else but him. His fourth was that he’d been a horse’s ass.

  He sat up on the side of the bed and rubbed a hand over his head. He’d done everything he’d done out of fear and a selfish sense of self-preservation. The garage was his father’s dream, not his. He’d thought that could be enough for him; he wanted it to be because he felt like he owed that much to his dad. Maybe it would’ve been, too, if he’d never met Melody.

  She’d changed him forever in a few short weeks. She woke him up and made him realize what was most important to him. He resented her for it, but he also loved her for it.

  Loved?

  Yes, he loved her. She needed to know that no matter what else happened. Even if she slammed the door in his face when he got there, he was determined to get those words out before she did so.

  He went across the room, grabbed his duffel bag from the closet, and tossed it on the bed. He then began rifling through his closet for clothes to toss in the duffel.

  There was a knock on his door. “You up yet?” his mom called.