An Officer but No Gentleman

by M. Donice Byrd

  Charlie’s mind began to frantically work. It was one thing to get away with pretending to be male when she had every advantage her father could give her. It was another to be on a strange ship. She already felt panicky. She had been suffering with a full bladder for an hour and could hardly go on deck to relieve herself over the side like the men did.

  “I have to have my own cabin,” she demanded.

  “No. My officers and I are the only ones with our own quarters. The rest are in the fo’c’sle and steerage.”

  “I have earned my rank.”

  Jaxon raised a questioning brow.

  “So has my second mate. What would you have me do, demote my blower and give you the job? No, you’ll have to prove yourself before I would promote you. My men would never blindly follow some pubescent fledgling officer.”

  “I am hardly a fledgling,” she said as forcefully as she did when she gave and order. “As I said, I have lived on that ship since I was six. I’ve worked my way up through the ranks in my sixteen years aboard. The starboard watch ran tighter than the mate’s. My men knew not to dawdle because they knew I would brook no insubordination. I am not a cruel man, but I have seen what happens when the blower tries to befriend the crew. Our captain….”

  “Your captain left you here.”

  “Our captain was killed this morning when an English warship fired on us. That man is no more captain than the rats in the hold. I should have forced the issue and usurped his authority.”

  “You know that is mutiny you speak of,” Jaxon Bloodworthy said in a slow, measured tone.

  Charlie weighed her words carefully before she spoke. If she told him her father owned the ship, he would think she owed her position solely to nepotism.

  “I did not force the issue because I know I’m not ready for the captaincy, but if I had, I would have had the crews’ support and loyalty.” A week ago, she could have made that statement knowing it was completely true. Now she wasn’t sure. However, she was half owner and she could do whatever she felt was in the best interest of the ship.

  They had gotten off the subject. She had to have her own cabin.

  She looked him in the eye and held his gaze. He was the captain, but she knew she would have to become more informal with him than ship’s protocol condoned. Jaxon turned, breaking eye contact with Charlie.

  “It really makes you uncomfortable to have me look you in the eyes.”

  “The people who look me in the face only do it so they can stare at my scars. Most people just look at the floor when I talk to them.”

  “Over that razor nick?” she asked lightly. “Here, look at this scar.”

  Charlie removed her uniform coat, unbuttoned her shirt sleeve cuff and showed him the burn she had suffered as a tot. “My clothes caught fire when I was five years old—my arm, my torso.” The lie had served her well in the past and she was going to use it to her advantage now, only this time the lie was going to be bigger.

  “I’m not…whole.” She gave him a moment to understand what she meant. “I’ll never father a child.”

  The look of shock on his face almost made her crack a smile. She rubbed the back of her crooked fingers on her cheek. “I can’t grow a beard,” she said dropping her hand. “Nor will my voice deepen. That is why I need my own cabin.”

  Silently, Charlie congratulated herself. No longer would she have to pretend to shave or pay a barmaid for her silence.

  “That explains why, when I first saw you I thought you were a wench.” Jax winced realizing that wasn’t what a young man wanted to hear. “Uh, from a distance of course. Up close, I would never make that mistake. I think I may need spectacles soon.”

  Charlie turned around repacking the doctor’s bag to keep him from seeing her expression. He had thought she looked like a girl. Although it amused her to see him flustered, it also scared her to know how close he was to her secret.

  Jaxon now understood why the young man did not shy away from his scars like other people. Charlie’s disfigurement although mostly hidden, was worse than Jaxon’s. He actually felt sorry for him. Criminy! Gelded by fire. Charlie was right; he couldn’t sleep with the other men. But Jaxon already had two sets of officers, one for his ship and one to be in charge of their captured prizes. As it was, they didn’t have cabins for everyone.

  “I’m not going to kick one of my men out,” he said. “I’ll have the carpenter put a hammock in here and we’ll share my cabin for now. I’ll leave when you need privacy.”

  A knock at the door drew Jaxon’s attention. He stepped out into the passageway to speak with his brother, Daniel, first mate of The Dragon’s Lair.

  “We have sails in pursuit. It looks to be the loblolly boy’s ship, coming back for him.”

  “I think I’d like to keep young Charlie with us,” he said pressing his hand to his wound. “Charlie and Jimmy are about the same size wouldn’t you say.”

  “I’d say Jimmy’s a bit stouter.”

  “Bloating….” Jaxon met his brother’s gaze. One corner of his mouth lifted. “Take a couple of men with you in case Charlie gives you trouble. Strip him, put his clothes on Jimmy then send his body to the corsair to give the corpse to his ship. Tell them he wanted to learn to shoot and it misfired killing him. Meanwhile, we go back without the corsair slowing us down. There is no way for that merchant ship to keep up with The Dragon’s Lair.”

  8

  The three men stood outside the door in the cramped corridor eyeing each other. The largest of the three sported a black eye that was rapidly swelling shut. The youngest man rubbed his jaw, opening and closing his mouth to test the hinge. And the third alternately was rubbing his left shoulder and his ribs.

  Suddenly, the three broke out into laughter.

  “Oh, please, you have to let me tell him. I’ve got to see his face when he finds out,” Daniel choked out, his eye barely open.

  “Are you mad? Do you want everyone to know a woman gave you that black eye? I think we should keep this to ourselves,” Romy said.

  Daniel flashed a quick dimpled grin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m sure my baby brother here head-butted me in the melee. I only pretended to get kicked in the face.” He mussed his brother’s hair affectionately. “Damn, have you ever seen anything like that?”

  Levi pushed his brother’s hand aside. “All I know is I’m in love. I lay my claim to her.”

  Daniel shoved him into the wall. “Tis not as though she would be interested in a boy too young to grow a real beard.”

  Romy held out the clothes they took off of Charlie. “So what are we supposed to do with these?”

  Daniel sobered instantly. He guided the men down the passageway and up onto the deck before he spoke. He didn’t want Charlie over-hearing through the door. “Our cousin Jimmy died—“

  “Oh, God, man, I hadn’t heard. I’m sorry,” Romy cut in quickly.

  “I think Jaxon is going to pass off Jimmy’s body as Charlie.”

  “He what!” Levi hadn’t known why they were getting Charlie’s clothes.

  “Look, Levi, we are too far out to take him home to the family plot. He’s going to be buried at sea no matter who does it. If it was you who died, wouldn’t you want to help the ship? We need Charlie and his—her medical knowledge. Quincy might still be alive if Charlie had been aboard a month ago.”

  Levi nodded remembering how Quincy had died from a festering cut on his foot.

  “Jaxon promised me if Charlie wanted to leave when we got to shore, he would pay him and let him go. I don’t think this changes anything.”

  Jaxon Bloodworthy stood on the quarterdeck of The Dragon’s Lair and watched as his cousin’s body was taken by rowboat to the French corsair. The body had been dressed in Charlie’s clothing and sewn into a burial shroud. He was disgusted with himself over it. He hoped the crew of the Arcadia would treat the body reverently, but that was not the crux of his self-loathing. He was no better than the English. Jax tried to convince himself tha
t because the Arcadia had left without Charlie if they had he sailed immediately; he would have never known Charlie’s ship had come back for him. He knew he should tell Charlie, let him decide for himself, but he just didn’t want to risk it.

  As soon as his crew climbed back aboard The Dragon’s Lair, Jaxon gave the order to set sail. He wondered if the Arcadia’s crew would believe the story they concocted. Jaxon had seen the body and knew Jimmy was unrecognizable.

  Before the evening meal, they would have a memorial service for Jimmy. This was part of his job that he hated. Hopefully, having Charlie aboard would prevent this from happening again, but did the ends justify the means?

  Jax watched in the spyglass as the stationary corsair disappeared beyond the horizon.

  “What do you want, Daniel?” Jaxon growled, not turning around. He recognized the sound of Daniel’s footsteps. “I take it you had no problems getting Charlie’s clothes from him?”

  “Actually, he put up quite a fight, which you would know if you turned around and looked at me,” Daniel said, his eye little more than a slit.

  Jaxon looked over his shoulder at his brother before turning around and chuckling. “I should have warned you. He said he could handle himself in a fight, but I thought he was just boasting. He did that to you?”

  “Charlie kicked me in the face.”

  “Kicked you?”

  “Swear to you, kicked me.”

  “Were you on the ground?”

  “I was standing and I’m quite a bit taller than Mr. Sinclair.”

  “Hardly seems sporting,” Jaxon drawled looking disinterested.

  “Neither is three against one,” Daniel conceded as he moved closer to his brother, scanning the horizon for Charlie’s ship.

  “True,” he said, nodding.

  “But I’m not sure your plan is going to work. There’s a bit of a snag.”

  “Are you talking about his burns? He said they’re pretty extensive, but they’re hidden under his clothes. You don’t think they would strip a corpse to check his identity?”

  “Burns? Is that what Charlie told you?” Daniel couldn’t keep a straight face. “Charlie’s got a secret, but it’s not burns.”

  Jaxon could see Daniel’s inappropriate reaction and he didn’t like it. This kind of infirmity was not funny.

  “Aye, I know. He didn’t come right out and tell me, but he implied that he’s….” Jaxon didn’t want to break Sinclair’s confidence, but it was obvious that Daniel already knew. He lowered his voice. No reason the whole ship should know. “…That he’s a eunuch.”

  Daniel didn’t even attempt to hide his smile. This was so much more fun than he had anticipated. “Is that what Charlie told you?”

  “It’s not true?”

  “It’s not true.”

  “Sinclair is not a eunuch?”

  “No, not a eunuch,” Daniel said shaking his head, a crooked smile forcing only one dimple to the surface.

  “So he does, you know, have all his…parts.” Jaxon was beginning to lose his temper. “That son-of-a-bitch lied to me so I’d give him his own cabin.”

  “Well, yes and no,” Daniel hedged. “Charlie didn’t lie to you if he told you he had no testicles. That part is true.”

  “Do you not understand what a eunuch is? It’s a man with no testicles?”

  “Right. Charlie is not a eunuch because to be a eunuch you have to first be a man. My dear, dense brother, Charlie is not a man. She’s a woman.”

  Jaxon Bloodworthy had such a perplexed look on his face that Daniel laughed. His whole body shook with guffaws that started in his belly and exploded out of his mouth like water from a whale’s spout.

  “Charlie, the junior officer from the Arcadia, is not a man?”

  “Do you think her shipmates will notice if we send Jimmy’s body?”

  Daniel’s laughter followed him halfway across the ship. His strides were as long as his uneven gait could accommodate. That had been his first instinct when he saw her and yet it was so farfetched he dismissed the idea immediately. Jaxon cursed under his breath. How had it seemed more plausible to him that Charlie was a eunuch than a woman?

  9

  Charlie wrapped herself in the sheet from Jaxon’s bed after the men who had stolen her clothes left the cabin. She had been terrified when they held her down and began pulling at her clothing. If she had it to do over again, she wondered if they would have waited outside while she stripped, if she had asked. They just walked in unannounced and asked for her clothes. It was only after she refused that they got physical. She had fended them off for a little while until they all tackled her at once. They had seemed genuinely surprised to find she was a woman and had apologized if they had hurt her. But when it was all said and done, they had taken her uniform and left her with only the long strip of cloth she used to bind her breasts, her drawers, woolen socks and boots. It was all so confusing. Why would they take her clothes especially if they did not know she was female?

  Then, only a few minutes later, there was a knock. Rather than answer it wrapped in a sheet, she ignored it. Whoever it was would go away when they realized the captain was not in his cabin. The door suddenly opened, and the carpenter walked in. He seemed surprised by her presence.

  “Can’t you come back later?”

  “The captain told me not five minutes ago to install this hammock now.”

  Charlie scooted to the far corner of the bunk, her knees drawn up in front of her. Only her shoulders and head were not completely covered. She would have liked to have wrapped the sheet over her shoulders, but she needed to keep her arms free in case she needed to defend herself again.

  The carpenter went about measuring for the hammock the captain had promised her. He cast an occasional glance over his shoulder. He shook his head and murmured something that sounded to her like, “Not the way it was done in my day.”

  She didn’t know if he was referring to separate sleeping arrangements or the way he was sent to a room with a nearly naked woman in it or maybe he thought she had slept with the captain without being married to him. That was the way it looked. She blushed to her roots.

  Suddenly, the door shot open, slamming against the wall. Jaxon Bloodworthy stood frozen.

  Charlie was definitely a woman.

  “Arthur? What are you doing?”

  “You told me—”

  Jax cut him off. “I didn’t know there was a naked woman in my cabin when I told you that. I’ll let you know when it’s a good time to finish.”

  Arthur packed up his tools and the hammock and left.

  “Why are you naked and in my bed?” he asked closing the door after the carpenter exited.

  She scooted out of the bunk and stood in front of him, still wrapped in the sheet.

  “Captain, if you don’t know three men came into your cabin and stole my clothes, just what kind of ship are you running here? The captain should always be aware….”

  “The getting naked I’m well aware of. It’s the fact that you’re a woman and you’re still naked I’m trying to get up to speed on.”

  She looked at him like he was daft. “I’d be more than happy to put clothes on—if I had any.”

  Jaxon Bloodworthy stared at her. How the hell had he dismissed his instinct that she was a woman, and a little firebrand at that? She was amazing. Her sable brown hair had come down from its cord in the struggle. It was blunted at the shoulders, the most common length for the men he knew. Her eyes were a most unusual light shade of maple brown. They were large and slightly hooded. Her small nose was perfectly straight and her lips, well, they would be full and nicely shaped if she’d stop drawing them between her teeth as if she was trying not to say something that was on the tip of her tongue. Her face was tan, but her pale shoulders had never seen sunlight. He wanted to touch that alabaster skin, run his fingers over the curve of her shoulders. No scars, except for the large burn on her arm.

  And most amazingly, she didn’t shy away from looking him in the eye
s.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were a woman?” he asked stepping towards her.

  She refused to let herself step back. If anything she leaned forward. She was not going to let him intimidate her.

  “Why are men so obtuse?” she asked rhetorically. “Because I didn’t want you to know!”

  Had Jaxon been paying more attention to her words, he would have lost his temper, but all he could think of was how his body reacted to her. He pulled at his collar. Damnation, it was hot in there. It had been ages since a woman had brought his senses to life like that. He tried to convince himself, it was just the provocative way she was dressed or more accurately, undressed with only the blue sheet wrapped around herself, but that was just part of it. He liked the way she didn’t back down. It had been a long time since anyone other than his family stood up to him. But mostly, it was the way she looked at him as if she didn’t see his scars that drew his notice. Was it possible?

  He couldn’t talk to her draped in a sheet. With the images his mind conjured up, she might as well be standing there stark naked. Jaxon crossed the room, his limp barely noticeable, and pulled a change of his clothing out of his locker and tossed them on the bunk.

  When she turned to pick them up, he saw the remnants of bruises across her shoulders. He felt sick.

  “Did my men do that to you?” His voice rose angrily. He grabbed her by the arms and turned her back toward the porthole for more light.

  She jerked away, instantly ready for a fight, her upper arms tightly against her body, the only thing holding up the sheet, her hands in fists.

  He held his arms up, his hands open. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to grab you like that. I was just trying to get a better look at what they did to you.”

  “Your men didn’t do that. Someone else did.” Charlie slowly released her fists and turned back to the clothing.

  Jaxon ran his hands through his hair, only slightly relieved his men had not been the cause of her injury. He would like to get a hold of the man who hurt her. “My men,” he asked, tentatively, as he continued to stare at her back, “didn’t hurt you, did they?”