An Officer but No Gentleman

by M. Donice Byrd

  “So you do love me?”

  “Stop making fun of me.”

  He could hear the frustration in her voice. “Why do you think I’m making fun of you?” he asked gently.

  “Because you know I like you more than you like me. I keep throwing myself at you and you keep pushing me away. I’m not stupid.”

  Jaxon let his head fall back on the pillow. This was not going the way he wanted. He needed her to tell him because he wanted to tell her he loved her back, but she wasn’t ready to say the words he read in her eyes.

  Damn it, maybe Daniel was right. Maybe this was like Millie Adams again. Maybe he was just seeing what he wanted to see. That was why it was important for her to say it first, so he could see his feelings were returned and it wasn’t just in his head.

  “Don’t mistake my restraint for not caring. I’m trying to do the right thing and not take advantage of you.”

  Charlie crossed the room and poured herself some water and took a couple of sips. “Jax, you need your sleep if you’re going to heal.”

  “You need to get some sleep, too.”

  She turned out the lantern, but went back to the chair rather than get in the hammock.

  “Do you want to share the bunk?”

  Remembering the humiliation of being kicked out of it the last time, she declined.

  “I’m still on duty. I’ll sleep after your fever breaks.”

  16

  Jaxon’s fever broke before sunrise. He woke up feeling better than he had since he was injured. Charlie had been up most of the night. Now that Jaxon was truly on the mend, she wanted nothing more than to climb into her hammock for a few hours, but he convinced her to wait until after breakfast. He scooped up her hand in his and kissed the back of her hand and didn’t let go of it until he pulled out the dining room chair for her. Daniel, his face still bruised and swollen, was already seated at the table and stood up while Charlie was being seated.

  Jaxon leaned over and whispered in his brother’s ear.

  “The deed is done.”

  He had convinced himself if Daniel believed he had bedded Charlie, Daniel would understand his interference would be moot. Jaxon knew in his heart, if things were allowed to progress naturally, he and Charlie would eventually marry, assuming she would accept when he proposed. But he had to get Daniel to butt out.

  Jaxon took his place between Charlie and Daniel and picked up his cup of coffee.

  Daniel narrowed his eyes at them as looked back and forth between the pair making Charlie wonder what exactly Jaxon had said to him.

  “How are you this morning, Charlie?

  “Tired mostly. I didn’t get much sleep last night. Jaxon kept me up nearly all night.”

  Jaxon choked on his coffee. When his coughing subsided, Daniel stood up and began hitting the hilt of his knife on the table until the crew turned to him and quieted.

  “The captain has just informed me that he and Charlie have decided to wed at the earliest possible opportunity. Keep a lively watch for sails so that they do not have to wait ‘til we get back to shore.”

  “Three cheers!” someone shouted. “Hip, hip…”

  “Hoorah!” the men cheered in unison.

  “Hip, hip….”

  “Hoorah!”

  “Hip, hip….”

  “Hoorah!”

  Jaxon’s look shot daggers at Daniel. Reluctantly, he stood up and pulled Charlie to her feet as well.

  “Thank you,” Jax began. “Charlie and I are extremely pleased to have you be the first to know of our future marriage. No one is more surprised than we are at this turn of events. When The Dragon’s Lair set sail to seek our fortunes as privateers, this was certainly not the treasure I was seeking. But I would not trade this woman for all the riches in the world.

  “However, despite what my brother has said,” Jax continued. “Charlie has expressed her wishes to not be wed while wearing breeches, so we would prefer to wait until we are ashore to get married. You are all invited to the nuptials.”

  Jaxon turned to Charlie. He wore an uneasy grin. His eyebrows lifted as he lowered his mouth to hers. His kiss was lingering and deep and Charlie couldn’t help, but respond as whoops from the crew faded from her ears and were replaced by the sound of her blood rushing through her veins. She was unaware that anyone was still in the room as her breathing increased. Her fingers wove into his hair preventing him from breaking the embrace.

  “Leave off,” Daniel said into his brother’s ear. “Save some for the wedding night.”

  Jaxon took Charlie’s wrist and gently pulled it away until he could break the embrace. Her eyes fluttered open, languidly. Then suddenly, remembering where they were, her eyes darted around the room and she quickly sat down and turned beet red.

  During their meal, Charlie fixed a smile on her face she didn’t feel, knowing they were the topic of many conversations. She had no idea what just happened, but was stunned out of her gourd over the whole matter. Instinctively, she knew Jaxon was as taken off guard as she and that Daniel was to blame for this. Jaxon and Charlie only ate half of the food on their plates before getting up to leave.

  “In my quarters,” Jaxon gritted out in Daniel’s ear as they left the table.

  Jax paced the floor of his cabin. “Charlie, I don’t know what to say. I didn’t know he would do that. This is my fault. I just thought…. Damn.”

  He raked his fingers through his hair. Jaxon took her by the hand and led her to the bunk. It was the only place they could sit together without moving the chairs around.

  “This is not the way I wanted to do this, but Daniel has forced my hand. Charlie, will you marry me?”

  “You’re asking me to marry you because Daniel told everyone we were getting married?”

  “I’m asking you now because of that. But I had already decided to ask although I intended to wait a more respectable amount of time.”

  Charlie paled.

  “Do you want time to think about it?” Jaxon asked, worried her pallor was an indication of her answer.

  “No,” she said. “I don’t need to think about it.” Charlie couldn’t look at him. She kept her eyes on their clasped hands. She felt the tears spilling over her lashes and the lump in her throat.

  “Oh, baby. Don’t cry. I’m sorry this isn’t a romantic proposal with flowers and a long talk with your father.”

  She couldn’t help it. Charlie had always assumed she would be alone her whole life, sitting in the captain’s quarters of the Arcadia, pretending to be someone she wasn’t. There was no hope of ever finding love. Charlie frowned. He never said he loved her.

  “Do you think you might grow to love me?” she asked.

  Jaxon silently cursed himself when he realized he had not told her how he felt. People married for all sorts of reasons, but a love match was what every woman wanted. He raised her face to meet his.

  “Charlie, I have been in love with you since the moment I saw you in my bed wrapped in the bed sheet. Or maybe it was when you didn’t back down even though you were nearly naked. And when we kissed the first time, I knew I would ask you to marry me.”

  When she looked down again, Jaxon’s brow worried and he knew she was going to refuse him. Charlie always made eye contact with him, but now she couldn’t do it. Now, Jaxon silently cursed Daniel for making him do this before Charlie was ready and cursed himself for telling him he had bedded her. Daniel should have known it wasn’t true because Jaxon wasn’t the kind of man to brag about that sort of thing. And now Charlie was crying.

  “This is hard for me. All my life I have been told not to think like a girl or have emotions like a girl. I know you don’t understand what my life was like aboard the Arcadia. How could you? I am used to being treated like one of the men. I’m not demure or coquettish and I would be a terrible wife because I don’t know the first thing about life on land or marriage. But I am not a man and all I ever wanted was to be in love with someone who loved me back. This is all I ever wanted, but I am
not prepared for it. I don’t know the things girls know and you will have to be patient with me while I learn.”

  “Is that a yes?” Jaxon interrupted.

  “Aye, of course.”

  “So you do love me too?”

  “Aye.”

  Jaxon was about to kiss her when Daniel knocked and let himself in.

  “Damn it, Daniel,” Jax shouted shooting to his feet. “You can’t just walk into my cabin when Charlie’s here.”

  “You ordered….” Daniel stopped midsentence when he saw the tears streaming down Charlie’s face. “What did you do, Jaxon? Did you tell her you aren’t going to marry her? By God, I’ll see he does right by you, Charlie.” His hands were clenched into fists.

  Charlie jumped between them before anyone could throw a punch.

  “Daniel, you dolt. I thought since you announced to the whole crew we were getting married; maybe Charlie might like to be asked. She was accepting my proposal when you barged in.”

  “Oh.” Daniel’s tensed frame relaxed. “Don’t you think you should have done that before you bedded her?”

  “I haven’t bedded her, Daniel. I just told you I did, so you’d leave off. Stupidly, I assumed if you thought the deed was done, you’d stop trying to keep us apart.”

  Charlie turned to Jaxon. “You told him that?” She turned back to Daniel. “To set the record straight, I told him the first night I wouldn’t be his mistress. But I’m an adult and what we do is none of your concern.”

  “You didn’t?”

  “No, brother, we didn’t. And now because of your meddling, you have rushed us exactly where you didn’t want us.” Jaxon moved up behind Charlie and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I’m actually rather pleased with this turn of events.” He kissed her neck. “Do you want to set the date, Charlie? How does one week after we get back sound?”

  “Not as good as one month. Can you wait that long?”

  “Aye. I’ll wait for you as long as it takes.”

  17

  Seven short days was all it took for the Baltimore Clipper to make it to their homeport of Chimerical Cove, Maryland. Charlie was so nervous; she felt sick to her stomach and barely touched her breakfast that morning. She stood at the deck’s railing schooling her expression out of habit. Don’t let them see weakness, she said to herself.

  “Are you sure it wouldn’t be best if I stayed on the ship.” Her life had changed so drastically, she clung to anything that seemed familiar. Charlie vaguely remembered the last time she slept ashore. The Arcadia sat in dry-dock being refitted and having its hull scraped. She was probably ten.

  “Charlie, I’m sending Daniel back to escort the corsair to the Admiralty so, no, you can’t stay here.”

  “Oh.”

  Secretly, she was relieved Daniel wouldn’t be there when she met the rest of the family. Although they had been getting along better, there were plenty of embarrassing stories he could tell about her. She wanted to make a good first impression and did not want them judging her on circumstances that had been out of her control.

  “Jaxon,” she hesitated. She didn’t know how to broach the subject of her wardrobe. If she had had any money with her, she would have just told him she wanted to go to the dressmakers, but without any, she must rely on him to lend her the money. “Is there any way we could go to Charleston before I meet your family?”

  He smiled. Her mind worked in strange ways and her logic always amazed him.

  “Why do you want to go to South Carolina first?”

  “That’s where I’m from. I’d like to have some dresses made before I meet your family.”

  Jaxon was going to miss seeing her dressed in trousers. He loved to look at the curve of her bottom when she didn’t know he was looking. But he also looked forward to seeing her in dresses and tried to imagine what women’s clothing would do for her décolletage.

  “We have dressmakers in Chimerical Cove just as good as the ones there.”

  “But my money is in the bank in Charleston,” she said in an unhappy tone. She was uncomfortable broaching the subject because it felt like she was angling for him to spend his money on her when she had ample funds in the bank in Charleston.

  Now he understood. “You’re going to be my wife. I’ll buy your gowns.”

  “I’ll pay you back.”

  Jaxon laughed. “Charlie, I don’t need your money. I own this ship and my own home. I’ve done quite well.”

  So had her father and their only overhead was the day-to-day running of their ship since they didn’t own a home. Even without her father’s money, Charlie had saved a tidy sum herself. “I suppose when we’re married, everything I have becomes yours by law anyway,” Charlie said.

  “It’s your money, baby. Spend it as you will.”

  “Do you know anything about what I need to do to move the money from Charleston to a bank here? Do I have to have my father declared dead?”

  “We should ask my brother Grayson. He’s the lawyer in the family. He’ll know what you need to do.”

  “Grayson is your twin?”

  “Been talking to Daniel?”

  “He called you Jacob.”

  A look of annoyance crossed his face. “That shows how little he understands. I don’t want my brother’s birthright. I just don’t want to be a twin. I hated having to share everything with him. We shared a birthday and a birthday dessert and sometime even birthday gifts. It sounds stupid now that I’m an adult, but at the time it was monumental.”

  “If I ever had a birthday, I wouldn’t have wanted to share it either.”

  Jaxon wondered if she was using Charlie logic or if she really didn’t observe her birthday each year. “Everyone has a birthday.”

  “Aye, but it always passed without notice. Well once, when I corrected Morty about my age, he bought me a pocket pie because he missed it.” She put her arms around his waist when she saw him frown over the mention of Morty. “This was long before he knew I was a girl so don’t be mad.”

  “It’s not that. I feel bad for you that no one made a fuss over your birthdays. Sometimes you have a way of putting things in perspective for me.”

  The Dragon’s Lair dropped anchor while still a quarter mile from shore. They weren’t loading or unloading cargo so it was easier to drop a dory in the water and have a couple of men row them in. Jaxon helped Charlie into the boat while two sailors held the boat in place. Charlie would have liked to have told him she didn’t need help, but she accepted it without comment. She sat down next to Jaxon and blushed when she recognized one of the men who had stripped her. He was young with black hair and blue eyes.

  “Are you related to him,” she whispered in Jax’s ear.

  “You haven’t met Levi?”

  She had seen the two men who had helped Daniel, but had avoided them. It was only now that she couldn’t avoid him that she really looked at him and noticed the same Bloodworthy coloring that Daniel and Jaxon shared.

  “Not exactly.”

  “Charlie, this is my brother, Levi.”

  Levi had the good grace to turn scarlet and not to mention their previous meeting.

  “Let me be the first to welcome you to the family, Miss Charlie.” He stopped rowing long enough to extend his hand to her. She shook it quickly.

  “Thank you, Levi. I hope the rest of the family will be as welcoming. Just how many brothers and sisters are there?”

  “Five brothers, four sisters. I’m the sixth oldest.”

  “Fourth youngest you mean,” Jaxon teased.

  “Better than being seventh youngest,” Levi shot back.

  “Shut up and row.”

  “Tell me everyone’s name in order,” she said to Levi.

  When he looked to Jaxon for permission, she nudged Jaxon with her elbow. Luckily, she was sitting on his uninjured side because she hadn’t given his wound the least consideration before elbowing him. Jaxon nodded.

  “Imelia, Grayson, Jaxon, Daniel, Jayne, me, Grace, Sloane and Eli. Ther
e were three others, but they died.”

  “Another set of twins was stillborn and another brother died when he was six months old,” Jaxon explained.

  “Twelve. I can’t imagine.”

  “Do you have brothers and sisters, Miss Charlie?”

  “No,” she said shaking her head.

  Levi thought about what that must be like as he rhythmically pulled the oars. He had friends who had only a handful of siblings, but none of his classmates had been only children. “Were you spoiled?’

  “Levi! What kind of question is that?”

  She leaned forward. “I was before my mother died.” Her father, on the other hand, was so worried that someone would say he was treating Charlie with favor, that it was almost the polar opposite. She sat back and leaned against Jaxon.

  No, she had not been spoiled. Jaxon knew the answer to that. What kind of parent didn’t make a fuss when their child had a birthday? It wasn’t as if a ship’s captain did not have the means. It made him mad to think about it. He was going to spoil her on her birthday.

  “So when is your birthday, Charlie?”

  “I will turn twenty-three in February.” She wasn’t entirely sure of the day of the month. Her father had been out to sea when she was born and if he’d ever known the exact date, he had forgotten.

  Charlie got her first view of his townhouse in the late morning sunshine. He unlocked the doors and began pulling dust covers off the furniture and opening curtains.

  “News of the ship’s arrival travels fast, so I need to go talk to Aunt Pru promptly. Make yourself at home. Look around. This is your home now. Feel free to open doors, and drawers. I’m going to stop by my Imelia’s house and get her to come take you to the dressmaker’s shop. And then I’ll get my mother to go with me to talk to Aunt Pru.” He gave her a quick peck. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  The knock on the door startled Charlie. Jaxon had only been gone a few minutes so she wasn’t expecting his sister so soon. She must live close by, Charlie reasoned.

  Charlie was so excited at the prospect of owning and wearing gowns, she practically ran to the door and flung it open.