Hollywood Heartbreak

by C. J. Duggan

  ‘Fine,’ I said. ‘Clearly I am not going to get any information out of you so I’ll just ask her myself.’

  Jay nodded. ‘Maybe just go in with the questions a little bit more gently than you did with me.’

  ‘Gently?’

  ‘You did chase me up two flights of stairs and block my path.’

  Oh, yeah, that. ‘I guess I can be a little … over-the-top,’ I conceded.

  Jay scrunched up his face, struggling to keep it together.

  ‘Yeah, just a little,’ he said, closing the door.

  Chapter Nine

  I had planned to sit in a chair, in the dark, waiting for Billie to arrive home. I didn’t have a cat to stroke like your typical Bond villain, but I could click the lamp on next to me for added dramatic effect. The thing was, I never knew when Billie was coming home, and I’d definitely get bored waiting for hours in the dark. Instead, in an effort to distract myself from memories of my embarrassing afternoon, I opted for Skyping Ziggy; her effervescent, unwavering belief in me was always my go-to. However, her vibrant, manic hello soon turned to business.

  ‘Now, honey, I’ve booked you in for an acting class on the fifteenth – write that down.’

  Acting class?

  ‘Oh, I kind of thought I would just hit the ground running.’

  Ziggy cut me a look up through her funky red-framed glasses. ‘Have you met with your dialect coach yet?’

  Oh shit.

  I would have to act the shit out of this corner I was being backed into; truth be known, I had been too scared to navigate Hollywood without Billie showing me around.

  ‘The fifteenth should be okay. I’ll pencil it in,’ I said, looking intently at my diary.

  ‘Abby.’ Ziggy’s tone commanded attention. She never freaked out, and was the first person to tell me everything was fine and I was doing great, so when her voice took on that tone I got worried. ‘Abby, sweetie, your cute little Aussie accent may get you a free drink from a hot American in a bar, but it’s not going to land you a coveted role anytime soon.’

  ‘Yeah, I’m sorry. I completely forgot about calling Faye. I’ve just been so flat out.’

  Sunbaking by the pool.

  Ziggy stared at me for so long that I thought the screen had frozen. ‘Ray – his name is Ray.’

  Double-shit.

  I coughed. ‘Ray, yes, of course. I’ll call him first thing.’ I wrote down a note.

  ‘Well, make sure you do. I’m not going to organise any meetings until I get there next week. I expect some serious groundwork done by then; I know you’ve been settling in but it’s time we got to work.’

  I nodded. ‘Absolutely. I am dying to get into it.’

  I would do whatever Ziggy wanted: acting, elocution lessons, work on my posture, diet, Kabbalah, anything. I was kicking myself about how distracted I had allowed myself to become. This wasn’t a holiday, this was my career, and now was the time to start taking it all a bit more seriously.

  ‘I’ll do anything, Zig, you name it!’

  ‘Excellent, because I have organised a lunch date with Sienna Bailey. She’ll be an invaluable connection while you’re there.’

  Anything but that.

  Sienna fucking Bailey, my nemesis. Having lunch with Sienna at some avant-garde restaurant while she told me all about her success and her social life was cruel and unusual punishment. I thought maybe Ziggy was trying to end the conversation on a bit of a zinger, but she was deadly serious.

  I wanted to protest. I wanted to scream that a huge part of Sienna’s success was due to luck, because it surely wasn’t based on her talent. I bit the inside of my cheek. Sienna had never had a single acting class, and had learned her American accent from watching hours of 90210 reruns. She was an utter fluke, and it killed me!

  I forced a smile, knowing that Ziggy could see right through it. ‘Sure, I’d love to catch up with Sienna. It’s been ages.’

  ‘Great, I’ll send you the details. I think you can learn a lot from her.’

  Her words were like a dagger to the heart: not only did I need acting lessons, but now Sienna fucking Bailey was going to be my mentor. This conversation was meant to make me feel better, not worse. While she’d stuck to our agreement – that is, not mentioning the aftermath of the complete shitstorm that brought me here – by the time we signed off I was eating ice-cream straight out of the tub.

  So, Billie was keeping something from me, I’d flashed the neighbour, been told I needed acting lessons, and now I had a lunch date with my nemesis. What would tomorrow bring?

  The sound of the front door and the jingling of keys halted my pity party.

  ‘Honey, I’m home! I also hunted and gathered for us.’ Billie appeared, dumping her make-up travel kit that she took everywhere with her – which I now eyed suspiciously – before dumping some takeaway bags on the counter.

  ‘In-N-Out burgers!’ she announced.

  How could I stay mad at her? I quickly placed the lid back on my ice-cream, thinking it probably wouldn’t be long before Ziggy suggested I join a gym. No one wanted a gal with a gut; I would have to watch my ‘holiday’ mode. Tomorrow it was back to business.

  ‘How was work?’ I asked, with genuine interest. It was hard to gauge Billie’s reaction when I was staring at her back, but her voice seemed even enough.

  ‘Crazy, but good crazy,’ she said, unloading the chips from the bag. I snared one, munching on it thoughtfully as I rounded the counter.

  ‘Well, I had an interesting day. You won’t believe what happened.’

  ‘You got an audition?’ Her eyes lifted with hope.

  ‘Ah, no, nothing like that; I ran into our favourite neighbour, Jay.’

  Billie’s demeanour changed instantly and she sighed. ‘You weren’t weird, were you?’

  My memory flashed to chasing him up the stairs, blocking his way, harassing him at his front door and inadvertently flashing him.

  ‘Define “weird”.’

  Billie scrunched up the empty takeout bag. ‘Goddammit, Abby, what is your problem with Jay?’ she snapped.

  I was taken aback; her defence of him was rather over the top. I paused.

  ‘Wait, do you like him?’

  Billie did a double-take. ‘What? No, of course not,’ she croaked.

  ‘You clearly do – you’re always defending him.’

  ‘I am not. I just think you have been a little judgemental about somebody you don’t even know.’

  ‘Ha! Judgemental? He judged me from day one!’

  ‘And you haven’t done anything to be judged on?’

  I couldn’t believe this; Billie was supposed to be on my side. We were meant to roll our eyes and bitch about boys, sisters before misters and all that. I felt kind of betrayed.

  ‘I know you probably think he’s just some cocky guy, but he’s not. He’s really helped me out.’

  My interest piqued, while something strange twisted in my gut; why should I care if Billie and Jay had a thing? I completely didn’t care. Really, truly.

  ‘Have you been listening?’

  My mind snapped back to the present.

  ‘Sorry, what?’

  ‘What did you do today? What was so weird?’

  I cleared my throat, reaching for my chips, avoiding her questioning eyes at all costs. The whole spectacle wasn’t even about me, so I wasn’t going to start making it that way.

  ‘Nothing, really; Jay just alluded to something, and when I pushed for more information, he shut down.’

  Billie shifted uneasily. ‘What did he allude to?’

  Here was the moment to confront her. But now, seeing something in her eyes, I didn’t feel so confident about it. I knew what it was like to be questioned. But if Billie was keeping something from me, how long would it be before it built up into something else?

  ‘Is there something you’re not telling me, Billie?’

  Her face told me everything I needed to know. She was definitely keeping something from me, and it was
something big.

  All of a sudden, I felt nervous. What could cause such a look? Were she and Jay lovers? Ex-lovers? Was this condo really a gift from a sweet old actress or had Billie murdered her and hidden her body in a laundry chute? What was it?

  Billie’s chin began to tremble, and I instantly felt like shit.

  ‘Damn Jay, why couldn’t he just keep his mouth shut?’ she said, moving to the lounge and flopping onto it like a moody teenager.

  ‘Well, h-he didn’t actually say anything,’ I said, following her out and panicking at her tears. Now I was the one defending Jay. I sat next to her, touching her shoulder as she buried her head in her hands. ‘So I guess he really is a good guy because, believe me, I tried to get more out of him.’

  ‘And what did he say?’ Billie sniffed.

  ‘He said to ask you.’ I winced.

  Billie shook her head. ‘I didn’t want to say anything. I wanted you to want to come here, to think that I had my shit together.’

  I didn’t press – I felt bad enough as it was. I grabbed an In-N-Out Burger serviette from the counter so she could blow her nose, and then sat quietly, waiting for her to go on, if she wanted.

  ‘I don’t have a job … well, not the job you think. I came here thinking that I would be this big-time make-up artist to the stars, that I would be riding golf carts around the back lots of studios and be lining up for buffet lunches with crew members, but it’s not like that – it’s never been like that. I’ve applied for everything from make-up artist in a dodgy-ass “glamour” photo place to theatre restaurant work, and I’ve got squat. My biggest gig was the one with Molly White. If it weren’t for her and Jay, I would have come back home with my tail between my legs long ago.’

  My brow creased in confusion. ‘But I don’t get it – your Instagram …’

  Billie laughed, so maniacally I thought she had truly lost it. ‘Oh, Abby, please. Haven’t you heard of fake it till you make it? Crop a pic, chuck on a filter and sell the lie. Everyone back home thinks I’m this big success, living the dream, but I’m a big fat failure.’

  I could hardly believe what Billie was telling me; for the past week she had left with her make-up bag, talking about clients and her long days; the effortlessness of her lies was disturbing. I looked at her broken demeanour and wondered how long she had been living this way.

  ‘Jay is the only person who knows the truth, and he has never judged me for it.’

  ‘And that’s why you defend him, because he’s been a really good neighbour, a friend to you,’ I said. It all made total sense now.

  Billie shook her head. ‘He’s so much more than that,’ she said, and my chest clenched like a vice. Billie and Jay were a thing; despite all her woes, she had actually bagged herself a sexy-as-hell man, who was successful to boot. Something primal surfaced in me. I really didn’t want her to tell me, to confide all the sordid details, and yet, despite the voice screaming inside me, I pressed her for more.

  ‘Oh?’ I said, cocking my brow.

  Billie’s mouth curved as she looked at me with bloodshot eyes.

  ‘He’s my neighbour, my friend … and my boss.’

  Chapter Ten

  ‘Your what?’

  ‘I work for Jay … at the Saloon.’

  I stared at her, waiting for her to tell me she was joking.

  ‘Yep, the big-shot make-up artist waits tables on the Strip – and that is the look I’ve been wanting to avoid.’

  I blinked, trying to gather my thoughts. ‘Sorry … It’s not a bad thing, I am just – why didn’t you tell me? I don’t care, Jesus, it’s not like you’re topless table dancing or anything … you’re not, are you?’

  ‘Abby!’

  ‘I’m sorry, of course you’re not.’

  ‘I work on the Strip, I don’t do it.’ She half-laughed.

  ‘Okay,’ I said, kind of embarrassed. I’d heard enough about the Saloon Bar to know it wasn’t that sort of club.

  ‘It’s actually a really cool place; I mean, if I’m going to be a failure and have a plan B, it’s a pretty funky plan B.’

  My shoulders slumped. ‘Billie, you are not a failure, you’re just taking a detour until you get to where you’re going, that’s all. I mean, you’re still here, surviving; that’s a success story.’

  ‘I’m just lucky in a lot of ways.’

  ‘That’s what everything is based on in this business – pure luck.’

  ‘You being here isn’t about luck – you worked for it. You are driven and talented, and I just know that you’re going to get what you want.’

  Ziggy’s voice echoed in my head. I expect some serious groundwork done.

  ‘Maybe. Ziggy thinks I need acting lessons.’

  Billie frowned. ‘I’m sure she meant that as a positive – you know, to hone your craft.’

  Maybe that was what she meant, but there is always a part of you that believes you’re a natural, a regular Marlon Brando. I bet that Sienna hadn’t spent time clucking like a chicken or doing mime work to develop her acting diversity.

  ‘Yeah, well, whatever it takes, right?’ I sighed.

  Billie nodded. ‘Whatever it takes.’

  ‘So now that we have all that sorted, can we make some house rules?’

  ‘Sure,’ said Billie, hesitantly.

  ‘No more secrets, okay? After all that I have left behind, the one thing I can’t stomach is people keeping secrets from me.’

  Billie knew what I was referring to. I had told her about how things had gone down back home, knowing I wouldn’t be able to move forward unless I was open with her.

  ‘Oh, Abby, I’m sorry – of course, no more secrets.’ She nodded adamantly.

  ‘So if you are secretly waitressing topless in your spare time, speak now or forever hold your peace.’

  Billie laughed, almost shoving me off the couch. ‘Shut up.’

  We laughed, feeling the tension lift from us; there was a lot to be said for keeping it real between friends. I kind of wanted to ask her about Jay, if there was ever anything more between them than just neighbours and colleagues, but I figured we’d had enough drama for today.

  ‘So what about you – anything you want to tell me while we’re clearing the air?’

  I bit my lip. I wanted to recoil from the vision that haunted me but, seeing as we were being honest, I thought it was better to come from me than Jay.

  ‘Well, speaking of being topless …’

  I had thought Billie might offer me some comfort, some friendly reassurance to make me feel better, but instead she fell to the floor, flailing around in complete, hyperventilating hysterics.

  ‘Oh my God, I wish I could have seen his face,’ she breathed, wiping a tear from her eye.

  ‘Oh, shut up – I hope you get carpet burn,’ I said, making for the kitchen, hoping to soothe my sorrows with a microwaved burger, but Billie rolled over and grabbed at my ankles.

  ‘Wait, wait, tell me more,’ she giggled.

  ‘What’s there to say? I never want to speak of it again; in fact, is there any chance we can relocate to the Hills where we will never, ever run into Jay?’ I pulled my legs from her grasp.

  Billie rolled over and rested her head on her hand. ‘Nope, no chance, sorry.’

  ‘Well, can you give me his work hours or something, so I can avoid him?’

  ‘Sorry, doesn’t work like that, especially for Jay; his hours are all over the place.’

  ‘So, he’s the manager?’ I asked, placing my plate of burger into the microwave and grimacing at how disgusting and soggy it was going to be.

  ‘Ah, owner-manager; he’s the “big” boss, remember?’

  I was curious; Jay couldn’t have been any more than, what, thirty? How had he landed on his feet? What was his story? The microwave beeping pulled me out of my reverie.

  ‘He’s really great to work for, firm but fair. I can’t believe you two don’t get along.’

  ‘I wouldn’t say we don’t get along.’

&nbs
p; Billie snorted. ‘Are you kidding me?’

  I thought about our track record in the short time we had known one another; the foundation of our acquaintance was built on shoddy ground at best.

  ‘Well, the man has seen my nipple, which is the basis for all good friendships. I’m sure we’ll get along just fine.’

  Chapter Eleven

  Most aspiring actresses would have given their right arm to receive a phone call for a lunch date from Sienna Bailey. I, on the other hand, wanted to fake my own death and enter a witness protection program.

  The call came far sooner than I anticipated; luckily, Billie and I had discussed tactics prior.

  ‘Meet her on your turf! Don’t let her whisk you to one of her fancy locals – bring her to you,’ Billie had said.

  It sounded like we were gearing up to stake a vampire through the heart, which, all things considered, wasn’t too far from the truth.

  Billie’s eyes were alight. ‘Get her to meet you at the Saloon.’

  ‘I don’t know.’ I wasn’t sure that was even neutral ground for me.

  ‘Come on, I’ll be working and I will totally serve you; it might just stop you from committing self-harm.’

  I was about to ask if we could make it a day Jay wasn’t around but thought better of it. Apparently, he could do no wrong, and I had made a conscious decision to be mature about all things Jay. Meanwhile, I secretly hoped I could avoid him for the rest of my life, so going to the place he owned was not the brightest move. I had stayed noncommittal, until Sienna rang.

  Despite my scheming with Billie, Sienna caught me off guard and I panicked. I found myself not only agreeing to meet her but also uttering, in an animated, high-pitched voice, ridiculous phrases like, ‘Can’t wait!’ and ‘It’s going to be epic!’ Billie simply shook her head, looking at me like I was a stranger. I rolled my eyes, cupping the receiver.