Into Your Hurricane

by Jillian Elizabeth

  “My room, I want you in my bed. I haven't been with you in so long, it won't be hurried or on the floor, Starfish.”

  I slowly climb off his lap and stand. I'm ready to take off for a sprint down the hallway to his bedroom. I need him more than I ever have, I feel like I might combust if he doesn't touch me soon. I'm a live wire ready to explode, these must be the crazy hormones I was warned about.

  Carter gets up in front of me and holds my hand. He's still on his knees before standing. Leaning forward slightly, he does something I will never in my life forget. He places his lips to my stomach as if it's the most precious thing. The hot and demanding Carter Avery is giving the child in my stomach the love he says he always will. The tears start hot and coursing down my face in moments as I stare down at him.

  Looking back up to me, he just gives me his full dimpled smile. Placing my hands on his stubbly cheeks, I try and tell him without my choked words how much he moves me. Placing a final kiss to my belly, he stands and lifts me with him. His mouth fuses with mine as I wrap my legs around his waist. With his hands supporting me under my ass, I pull away and kiss his neck. The spot under his ear that leads down to his shoulder, my spot. The growl that comes deeply rumbling from his throat spurs me further on. Giving a small bite, I feather my hands in the back of his hair. It's then we reach his bedroom door and he all but runs to the bed.

  I laugh as he slams my back to the bed and supports his weight on his elbows on either side of me.

  “Jesus, you're killing me, Starfish. I have to have you now,” he growls as he pulls my yoga pants off with one big yank.

  Laying there in my panties, under his stare, I feel like my skin is alive. His small touch to my ankle sends a jolt I wasn’t expecting straight to me core. I'm moaning as I wait for his next move.

  He stares at me with a fire in his eyes, but the way he holds his lips firmly tells me he doesn't really know what to do. We've never had an awkwardness where our sex life is concerned, but there is now. I've shared myself with another man.

  Carter turns and reaches into the drawer of his nightstand. I see what he's getting and a pang of jealousy hits me. We never used condoms when we were together. He has these for the time we were apart and he was with someone else or others. I don't want to think there were more than just Marissa.

  “Carter, look at me.”

  He turns my way as he holds the small packet in his hand.

  “I understand your hesitation. I get it, and I hate barriers between us. But my life with Trent wasn't what I thought. Until I can be tested, I think you need to be protected. I'm so sorry I made our love awkward now,” I cry out.

  “Shhhhh, I trust you but I think it's best for now. I have forever with you, wearing these is just temporary okay?”

  I just nod. I don't want him to feel strange with loving my body. I'm sure it already will feel different now that I'm pregnant. The small pooch on my lower stomach reminds me that he or she is there.

  Carter leans forward as he unbuckles his pants. He places a kiss to my small baby pooch, then while making eye contact with me, down to the center of my panty covered mound. He blows his mouth over the scrap of material, my back bows and my toes curl. The live wire of my skin is humming again, but I can't take it. It's too much.

  “Carter,” I pant on a moan, “I need you inside me. Right now...ohhhh right now,” I yell out into the darkening room.

  He pulls back and stands up at the end of the bed. Pulling his shirt over his head, I get an eyeful of the fine piece of art that is Carter Avery. Every piece of him has been carefully sculpted, every dip and lickable valley of his body. It was made for my touch, and the fire in his eyes as he looks me over has the wetness pooling between my legs.

  Just as I'm getting lost in the honey brown stare of his eyes to my blue ones, I'm yanked to the side of the bed by my ankles. In one swift move my panties are yanked down my legs and thrown behind him.

  The package he had grabbed from the nightstand is now ripped open and sheathed on his hardness while never breaking the smoldering stare he holds with mine, the glossiness of his eyes knowing I've done this to him. He's almost frantic to be inside me, like he wouldn't survive without being with me.

  Lining himself up, he shoves into me the same time he pulls my legs, sliding my hips to hang off the bed. I'm at his mercy as he holds himself there a moment, his breathing so deep trying to control himself.

  “Let go, Carter, give me all of you,” I beg as my head now thrashes on his bed. I'm frantic to feel his punishing pace inside me. To feel all of him, no control just pure love and lust of the moment.

  Bending down he brings his face to mine as he just lets go. He's thrusting into me like a crazed man finally getting the fix he's been after. The junky in need. In need of me, of what I do to him.

  I'm spiraling higher with each thrust of his hips.

  “I can't get enough of you, I'll never have enough of you. But please, tell me you're okay.”

  “Shhh, don't stop. Oh God, Carter please don't stop I need you so bad.”

  His mouth crashes to mine in a growl and I explode with white light exploding behind my eyes. My pulse is racing through my ears and it's all I can hear. My mouth is open but it's so intense I can't make any sound.

  “That's it, let go. Let go, Starfish, and show me what I do to you,” he grunts, now pushing harder as I hold him closer to me. I can't let him go.

  “Those screams of yours are so goddamn hot, Jesus you're fucking beautiful,” he says as he throws his head back finding his release.

  His pace is slow and gentle as he now comes down from his own orgasm. Even the barrier between us hasn't made this moment any less intense. Bringing his forehead to mine, he just tries to catch his breath, breathing into me as I feel his breath fan across my face.

  “I love you, Carter. I love you so much. Please don't ever let me live without you again,” I cry out now feeling the emotions of our time we missed together. The sadness for what we can never get back.

  “Never, I'll never make you live without me. You're my fucking world and it hasn't been right since you've been gone. I'm so sorry for the time we spent apart, Starfish. I'm so fucking sorry,” he lets out as he breathes into my neck.

  “Just hold me, please, and don't ever let me go.”

  “Always.”

  ***

  The Christmas and New Year have passed quickly. Other than the time we spent with our families celebrating, we've only spent time with each other. I'm off from school and Carter has tried to work as little as has he can. We're making up for lost time.

  I don't have to make love with Carter to know that he loves me, to know that I'm cherished. I've never felt this with anyone else, it only took our time apart for me to realize that.

  My heartbreak had me running for the guy that showed me the first bit of attention and I took it and held it. But I realize now it was so wrong, it was never as right as I wanted to make myself believe it was.

  Amy called me after Christmas to check on me and see how I was. I do miss her, but I can't let myself fall back with her family. Or be near her brother. She does understand and I'm glad for that. She told me her family raked him over the coals during the holidays for how he fucked up. How he hasn't taken his responsibilities like a man or how they raised him to be. They're relationship is strained after Halloween and what happened at Uncle Henry’s house. His drinking has become worse and he's no longer hiding it from everyone.

  Now almost mid January, I’m seeing more changes in my body. My breasts continue to get larger and more swollen. My tummy has become a little more pronounced, which makes not many of my clothes fit.

  Sitting here now, my hand is on my tummy just rubbing it absentmindedly while Carter and I just lay on the couch watching TV. Nothing interesting is on and we've just been trying to find something to hold our attention.

  Little bumps from the inside have me sitting up and taking notice. I've never felt this before.

  The small li
ttle bumps against my lower tummy are little flutters that feel like butterflies trying to break free. A small giggle escapes as I feel the little tickles from inside me.

  “What's got you giggling over here?” Carter asks on a small chuckle as he holds me tighter to his front. He's lying with his back to the couch, my back to his front with his arm around me.

  Grabbing his hand, I pull it to my stomach where I feel the little tickles.

  “Do you feel that?”

  He's silent a moment. “What am I supposed to be feeling, sweetheart?”

  “You can't feel the little bump bumps?”

  “I just feel your belly moving with your giggles,” he says on an amused laugh.

  “I can feel the baby moving, I think that's what I'm feeling. I've never felt this before,” I say, turning my head back to face him.

  His eyes hold mine in this special moment. He's holding me close while together we hold my baby in our hands. Our baby.

  I'm almost eighteen weeks along now and my next appointment is my ultrasound. I'm hoping to find out the sex of this little baby, it's been killing me not knowing. It feels like it's taken forever to get this far so I can know. I just want to name him or her and get everything I need to spoil them rotten.

  My phone chimes on the coffee table in front of us. Picking it up, I see it's a text message from Trent.

  Trent- Hi, how are you? How are you feeling?

  Carter must have read it over my shoulder. The small snort I feel and hear against the side of my head is a big indication.

  “You're kidding me, right?” he says now sitting up. “Why now does he decide to reach out to you?”

  “I don't know.” I sit feeling dumbfounded. I've given him no thoughts as I've built my world back and gotten back to being happy again. To making things right with Carter again. “I need to answer him.”

  “You don't owe him a goddamn thing, Andrea. You hear me?”

  Him saying my name is rare, but it's also when I know he isn't happy. It's like when your parents pull out the full name, you know there's trouble.

  “I know I don't. But I can't ignore him, that's just not me,” I plead with him.

  “You're too kind for your own good sometimes, Starfish,” he says as he lays the side of his head against mine.

  I don't want to answer him, but I feel like I need to.

  Andrea- Hi, I'm fine.

  Trent- Glad to hear. What did you do with the baby?

  Andrea- I’m still pregnant, Trent, if that's what you're asking me.

  He's silent for a few minutes. I feel on edge with anything else he could say and I don't like that feeling. So I go against everything my gut tells me and text him again.

  Andrea- My next appointment is the end of next week. I'm hoping to find out if I'm having a boy or girl. I will let you know. I don't owe you that, but I will let you know.

  Trent- Thank you. Take care of yourself.

  “You're amazing, you know that?”

  “Please don't be upset with me Carter,” I plead as I roll over to lay against his chest. Lifting my chin to look at him, he just gives me his dimpled smile.

  “I mean you're amazing, your heart is so big. There isn't a person on this earth that deserves you or your love. I don't deserve you either. I'm just damn glad you see the good in me and love me the way you do,” he tells me with a kiss to my nose.

  Scooting higher, I just wrap my arms around his neck. “Thank you for loving me,” I whisper.

  TOSSING AND TURNING the night before, I wake up and try and get myself together before my appointment. I stayed at my house last night, I felt I needed my own reflection time. Moments I could steal away for myself.

  My restless sleep from dreams had me unrested all night. Dreams of a sweet little head of dark hair held against my chest, but never being able to make out the face of the baby. Possibly finding out the sex of the baby has my head rampant everywhere. I first thought I wanted a girl, but I'm almost positive this baby is a boy. I don't know why I feel that way, I just do. Either way, a healthy little baby is all that matters to me. A child that resembles the best parts of me and none of the father that is biological. He or she needs to be raised right like that dad that wants to have him in his world. Our world. I don't know how he always knows what I need, but he does. That man has a heart the size of Texas. Who just accepts a baby in their life that isn't their own? Carter does. This baby's dad didn't want to be with us, but Carter takes us and loves us without question.

  My appointment is at 1:00 this afternoon at Dr. Baker’s office. I've been told to drink water and hold it in my bladder, I'm not looking forward to that part. I hope it's not as bad as it sounds.

  Coming down the stairs, I go to the kitchen to get some breakfast. The smell of coffee hits me in the face as I come down. Carter, he must have just come in. Turning the corner I'm met with Trent's smirk.

  “Good morning, sweetheart, sleep well? Why do you look so surprised to see me? We have your appointment today. I made you breakfast,” he says, pointing to the bagel and cream cheese on the table.

  I just stand here a moment. I'm stunned stupid. He takes advantage of that and comes over to me. “I'm home, baby, where I belong. With you and our baby,” he says, kissing my slacked mouth.

  “I can't,” I whisper, finally finding my voice.

  “Of course you can. You love me and I love you. Oh, is it because of Carter? I'm making sure he's happy, honey, don't you worry.”

  He looks down and notices the small bump of my belly showing through my tight T-shirt. He puts his hands to each of my sides and pulls his hands toward the center of my stomach. I just look at the ceiling trying to find the strength I need. He doesn't deserve to have this moment with me.

  “You've done so good taking care of yourself and our baby. Growing so well,” he says as he brings his face to mine. I turn my head away and he dives in for my neck. The tears leak from my eyes, the sadness and sorrow breaking me at the moment. He could have had this, but he messed it up not me. He didn't want us. He didn't want me. Carter, oh God, Carter.

  Finding the strength I need, I push back against Trent.

  “No, you don't get to decide to be back with us. Not after everything you did and said! I'm not this stupid girl, Trent. You can't have us!”

  The sneer crosses his mouth just as he backs me to the wall and reaches for my throat.

  His other hand reaches between my legs to grope me roughly, and he shoves his hardened cock into my lower stomach.

  “You'll take me back, you little bitch, and we’ll raise this baby together. Just like a nice sweet family. You love me, you won't ever get enough of me. You're just lucky I'm willing to take your slutty little ass back after I know you've been with Carter,” he says, sniffing into my chest. He bites my nipple through my shirt while still holding my throat to the wall.

  “I can smell him on you. Oh, this won't do. Time to get my scent back all over you, baby girl,” he tells me as he goes for his zipper.

  It's then I bring my knee up. He catches it under his arm and I'm in an even worse position.

  “Thanks for the help, baby, now I'll get in even deeper,” he says, laughing maniacally. I can smell the alcohol stench on him as he practically spits in my face.

  The front door splinters against the wall as it's thrown open.

  “Get the fuck off her, Zito.” I hear Carter's deep and angry voice yell.

  “No, Avery, you need to leave my family alone. She's mine. This baby is mine. None of what you want you can have. Where's your little treat at? Done with her already?”

  “Nice try, Zito. Marissa isn't a treat and neither is her little friend. I don't need your kinks. Just her,” he says, pointing to me as he grabs Trent and rips him back toward the kitchen table settled in the middle of the kitchen.

  Trent stumbles in his drunken stupor, but recovers quickly to barrel at Carter. Carter backs himself up toward the front door as he blocks Trent's swings. They don't even get near him really, he's
really out of it. He drove over here this way. Amy was right, it's gotten out of hand.

  Carter backs out the door and onto the porch. He's done playing now but wasn't about to wreck my house.

  He reaches forward and grabs Trent by the shirt. Using the motion of rocking back he takes the momentum and practically throws him to the lawn. He's on him quickly, as he rolls him over to subdue him. I've seen enough and I run to call the police. Trent broke into my house, attacked me, attempted to rape me, and now he's violent. On top of it all, he's an alcoholic who has clearly been tipping them back this morning, or through the night.

  I run back to the porch and Carter has Trent pinned to the ground on his back. He's wrestling Trent to flip over.

  “Starfish, get in the house. You don't need to deal with this,” Carter yells back to me. The moment cost him as Trent leans up and head butts Carter right in his forehead.

  Not a second thought is made on Carter's part. The pummeling fist lands swiftly and square under Trent's chin in an uppercut. The boxer in him never left.

  I can't just go inside and ignore them on my front lawn. This is my fault, I brought Trent Zito into our lives. I'm so fucking stupid! All I can do is scream for it to stop, to just sit down on the porch and wish this was all just a horrible dream. But it's my reality, and becomes more real as the police pull up to the scene.

  They jump from their cruiser and run to the scene. Carter starts yelling who he is. “I'm Detective Carter Avery, I'm subduing the man that broke into my girlfriend’s house.”

  Another cruiser pulls to the scene. The police woman gets out and comes to me sitting on the porch. I imagine I look like a loon sitting here with tear tracked cheeks and swollen eyes in my shorts and T-shirt.

  “Ma'am are you okay? Are you the one who called this in? Our dispatch said there was a female that called frantic and screaming.”

  “Yes, I did,” I say as I clear my throat.

  The cop from the first cruiser is helping Carter to get Trent in handcuffs and into the cruiser. It's then that Carter finally turns and runs over to me. He's checking me over and touching my arms and throat.