Spellcheck Witch Cozy Mystery Series

by Morgana Best

  “What charity ball?” I asked him.

  “It’s to raise money for the local koala hospital.”

  “I haven’t heard about that fundraiser,” I said. “It sure sounds like a worthwhile cause. But would a doctor be interested in attending such an event? Isn’t that something that a vet would be more likely to attend?”

  Ruprecht shook his head. “I went to the ball last year and there were plenty of doctors there. All the leading lights of town go. I think we should all go. The tickets are quite a reasonable price.”

  “But won’t it be too late to get tickets? Did you say it’s tomorrow night?” I asked him.

  “This isn’t the city,” Ruprecht said gently. “You can buy tickets at the door. Of course, you don’t get a good table, but you can still get in.”

  “I feel well enough to go,” Alder said. “I think we should, Amelia.”

  After a short discussion, everyone agreed to go to the charity ball. “What will we be looking for exactly?” Thyme asked Ruprecht.

  “If Dr Grant is there, then it will be interesting to see if Jane is, too. We’re not looking for any evidence in particular. Let’s just do a general reconnaissance and see what we can turn up.”

  “And if we end up wasting our time?” Mint asked him.

  Ruprecht shrugged. “The koala hospital will have more funds.”

  Chapter 17

  Purple. That was the one word I could use to describe the room at the charity ball. The room at the back of the local council building had been transformed into a fantasy in purple. That’s the only way I could describe it. The ceiling had been lined with a draped purple fabric, and there were masses of purple balloons ranging from the palest violet to a deep black-purple. After we paid at the door, we were told we would be in the very back section for late comers.

  And while the back section didn’t look anywhere near as posh as the front section, it didn’t look too bad. Besides, after a bit of quick addition, I realised the six of us would have a table to ourselves.

  Large koala sculptures in various bright colours and patterns, attached to timber plinths, were all over the room. The detectives were there, ostensibly examining the paintwork on the koalas, but I suspected they were here to keep an eye on me.

  “You look lovely,” Alder said in my ear. I beamed at him. I had chosen to wear a tight fitting dress that disguised those bits of me that needed disguising. I returned the compliment. Alder looked dashing. The others looked lovely too, and to my relief, Camino wasn’t wearing one of her onesies. I had been afraid she would turn up as a giant koala.

  We took our seats, Ruprecht sitting next to me. “It’s a silent auction.”

  I looked up, confused. “What is?” It was hard to hear, as the noise in the room was loud and the waiters serving drinks added to the din.

  Ruprecht nodded to the stage. “See those things up on stage, and there are other things around the room at intervals? You write down the price you want to pay for something and submit it, rather than calling out bids.”

  I nodded. “Oh, I see.” I looked around the room at sports memorabilia from various Aussie Rules and Rugby League teams, as well as small electrical items.

  “The jewellery will be auctioned at the main auction after we eat. That’s when people will call out bids.”

  I nodded. I wondered why Ruprecht was telling me this, but I supposed he was just bringing me up to speed. “I can’t see Jane yet,” I said. “I can’t see Dr Grant, either, if he looks anything like his photos online.”

  “He’d be right up the front at one of the good tables,” Alder said. “We probably won’t be able to see him from here.”

  Just then, a man stood up and announced his name to a round of polite applause.

  “Who’s he?” I asked Ruprecht.

  “A television personality, I believe,” Ruprecht said, staring at the stage. “I think he’s one of those vets who has gone into reality TV.”

  The man did a PowerPoint presentation of what the charity was doing, and seemed particularly excited by the fact that koalas in different geographical areas had physical differences. He was enthusiastic, and I agreed that it was most definitely a worthwhile cause. The microphone made strange sounds at times, and someone ran up to the stage and adjusted it on every occasion it did so.

  “There she is,” Alder said in my ear, startling me. I had been distracted by all the photos of cuddly koalas.

  “What, who?” I said.

  “Jane. She’s only about five tables away from us, over there.”

  I craned my neck, just as the waiters started serving meals. Roasted chicken alternated with ratatouille. A great deal of swapping seemed to be happening across the room. I supposed it was human nature to think that what someone else had was better.

  As soon as the meals were served, a fashion parade began. Models walked around the room, weaving between tables as people bid loudly. The emcee was humorous, and the atmosphere was jovial. I multitasked, eating, keeping an eye on Jane, and watching the models. I still hadn’t seen any sign of Dr Grant, although the photos online could have been taken some years ago.

  “I haven’t seen Dr Grant yet,” Alder said softly in my ear.

  “I was just thinking that,” I said. “We probably won’t see him or any action between the two of them until the dancing.”

  After an interesting start, the night dragged on. The main auction was nevertheless exciting, with decent amounts raised for the charity. Several jewellers had donated high-priced items and the bidding was fierce.

  The lights dimmed as the music began. “Camino, Mint, and I should go out on the dance floor and see if we can see Dr Grant,” Thyme said. “Amelia can stay with Alder and observe from this direction.” I gave her a grateful look; she was sparing Alder’s feelings given that he wouldn’t be able to dance.

  “What about me?” Ruprecht said, clearly offended. “I hope you know I’m quite a good dancer.”

  I could see Thyme was having difficulty suppressing a giggle. “Sorry, Ruprecht. Let’s all go now and keep a close eye on Jane. We’re not going to see anything from a distance now that it’s so dark, but at least we’ll be able to watch her without arousing suspicion.”

  “You go with them,” Alder said after they left. “I don’t mind staying by myself.”

  I shook my head. “Nonsense. I’m staying with you.”

  “I don’t think we’ll see anything much,” Alder said. “I can hardly see in front of my nose.”

  I grabbed his arm. “Look, isn’t that Dr Grant?”

  Alder followed my gaze. “I can’t really tell from here. Why do you think it’s him?”

  “Because he’s just left the room, and Jane’s gone after him.”

  Alder stood up and took my hand. “Let’s follow them.” We walked in the same direction that the two had gone. When we came to the end of the corridor, no one was in sight. “What do we do now?” I asked Alder.

  “They’re clearly looking for somewhere to be alone,” he said. “I suppose we should just walk along the corridors and see if we can hear them inside one of the rooms.”

  We sneaked along the corridors, occasionally putting our ears to the doors, but heard nothing. Alder put his head around the corner and then tucked back. “Quick, they’re coming! In here.” He opened the closest door and turned on the light.

  It was an office with a large desk in the middle of a room. The carpet was pale grey with a red fleur-de-lis pattern. It looked out of place in the room, but I supposed it would have looked out of place anywhere. The overbearing gold flock wallpaper was partly hidden by massive golden frames with portraits of, I supposed, the mayor’s predecessors. I held my breath, listening to the footsteps approaching. “They’re coming in here,” Alder whispered in my ear. “This looks like the mayor’s room—we shouldn’t be caught in here.”

  I looked around wildly for somewhere to hide, but Alder spotted somewhere first. He took me by my arm. “In here,” he whispered urgently. />
  The next thing I knew, Alder and I were sitting in a cupboard. The door was open a tiny crack. I had an overwhelming urge to giggle, probably due to my anxiety over the situation.

  The door opened, and Jane and Dr Grant walked in. They kissed passionately, and I averted my eyes. I certainly hoped they didn’t go any further. I felt like a Peeping Tom as it was.

  “Do the police suspect anything?” Dr Grant asked Jane.

  She shook her head. I gasped and poked Alder’s arm. Were they going to confess to being in Celia’s murder together?

  “No, but they said they’ll be questioning me again,” she said.

  “Surely they don’t suspect you had anything to do with the woman’s murder?”

  I raised my eyebrows at Alder. If Jane had murdered Celia, then she did it without the knowledge or help of Dr Grant.

  “I think they suspect Amelia Spelled, the cupcake store owner,” Jane said, “which is ridiculous, as she didn’t do it. You know, I suspect Edith.”

  The man made a strangling sound, halfway between a grunt and a laugh. “You’re joking, right? Edith? You really don’t think Edith could murder anyone, do you?”

  “Well, who else could’ve done it?” Jane said. “There weren’t many suspects when it all boils down to it. Edith hated Celia with a passion. Besides, Edith had only just recovered from the flu, and she had plenty of codeine tablets on hand.”

  “Have you told this to the police?” he asked her.

  “Yes I have, but they seemed to dismiss what I said. I know Edith looks frail, but I really wouldn’t put it past her.”

  He shook his head. “No, I’m sure Edith couldn’t have done it. It’s just not in her nature.”

  My foot had gone to sleep, so I shifted, but as I did so my elbow went into Alder’s sore spot. He let out a yelp.

  My heart stopped. I went into a cold panic. They would discover us.

  “Quick, kiss me!” Alder said.

  “As much as I want to, it’s hardly the time or the place,” I began, but I was effectively silenced by Alder’s lips on mine.

  The next thing I knew, the cupboard doors were flung open, and Jane and Dr Grant were bending over us.

  “What are you doing here?” Jane asked us in surprise.

  “We were looking for somewhere to be alone,” Alder said.

  Jane raised her eyebrows. “Don’t you have plenty of time alone?”

  “Oh no, we don’t. You’ve seen all my friends, haven’t you?” I asked her. “They’re well-meaning, but they never leave us alone. We never have any time to ourselves. I hope we didn’t disturb you,” I added. “We were so, um, busy, that we didn’t hear you come in. Were you looking for us?” I was a little disappointed as I realised that Alder had kissed me as a ruse.

  Jane quickly exchanged glances with Dr Grant. “I was just coming from the bathroom, just as Dr Grant—oh by the way, he works at the nursing home, too—was coming the other way. We both heard a noise in the room and we went to investigate.”

  It was such a bad lie that I wondered whether there was any point in playing along with it, but I did. I had no option. “I’m sorry to alarm you.”

  “Why were you in the cupboard?” Dr Grant asked us.

  “We weren’t to start with,” Alder said, “but then we heard someone outside so we thought the cupboard was safer.”

  “Yes, as soon as I go out of sight for any time my nosy friends come looking for me,” I said.

  I didn’t know if they were convinced, but they nodded, exchanged glances, and then left the room. Alder pulled me back into a deep kiss. “Do you think they’ll come back into the room?” I asked him, when I came up for air.

  Alder shook his head, and kissed me again.

  Sometime later, Alder and I returned to our seats. The others were all there. “Where have you two been?” Ruprecht asked us. “We were beginning to get worried.”

  “We saw Jane and Dr Grant kissing,” I said.

  “When?” Thyme said. “They’ve both been out here for a while now. We’ve been watching them.”

  “What, together?” I said in surprise.

  Thyme shook her head. “No, they haven’t spoken to each other at all. What did you see?”

  “We saw them go off separately and we followed them and then ended up in the mayor’s office,” I said. “We heard them coming so we hid in a cupboard.”

  Camino chuckled. “You hid in a cupboard?”

  I nodded. “We saw them kissing, but then Dr Grant asked Jane if the police still suspected her. Long story short, it was clear that if Jane did murder Celia, then Dr Grant didn’t know anything about it.”

  “Are you sure?” Ruprecht asked me.

  “Positive,” Alder said. “It was obvious from their conversation.”

  “Well, that’s an advance in the case, I suppose,” Ruprecht said, twirling his champagne glass around several times.

  “She did say that the police suspected me, but also that she suspected Edith.”

  “Edith?” everyone asked in unison.

  I nodded. “She said Edith had the flu recently and that she was prescribed codeine. She seemed to think Edith had enough codeine to murder Celia.”

  “And Edith certainly despised Celia,” Alder added.

  “But Dr Grant said he didn’t think Edith would ever be able to murder anyone.”

  “But Jane thought that she did?”

  “Yes,” I said. “Jane thinks Edith did it.”

  “Why didn’t you come back and tell us when they left?” Camino said. “We’ve been watching them for some time now.”

  I shot a guilty look at Alder, even though I had nothing to be guilty about. I suppose I was embarrassed. “They actually caught us watching them.”

  Everyone gasped. “They caught you! What did they say?” Thyme said.

  I held up my hands. “It was all okay. They thought we were hiding in there to be alone. They had no idea we were actually spying on them.”

  “That’s good, if Jane is the killer,” Ruprecht said thoughtfully.

  “And so to make our story more believable, we stayed in there for a while after they left.”

  “Quite a while.” Thyme winked at me.

  Chapter 18

  “How long will the coffee machine take to warm up?” Thyme asked Camino. “I always need a double shot on Monday mornings.”

  I yawned. “You and me both.”

  “You must be relieved that Alder’s staying with Ruprecht now,” Thyme said.

  “Yes, I am. I’m glad him leaving my place was nothing to do with anything being wrong with our relationship.”

  Thyme laughed. “There’s obviously nothing wrong with your relationship.”

  I shrugged. “Yes, I know that now. Ruprecht explained to me that Alder didn’t want to seem vulnerable to me.”

  “Men!” Thyme said. “Who can understand them? I thought I was getting somewhere with Dawson, but he had to leave town to give evidence on a case.”

  I accepted a Styrofoam cup of coffee from Camino and then set about filling the display cases with cupcakes. “If we don’t get many customers today, I might pop out and speak to Paul Addams. I expect the police will let them go home soon, so I want to catch him and ask him some questions.”

  Thyme looked up from arranging cupcakes. “You think that’s a good idea? What if he’s the murderer and you go around there asking questions?”

  “Actually, I was going there to ask him about Edith, whether he thinks Edith could possibly be the murderer.”

  Thyme shook her head. “I don’t like it. Can you take Alder with you?”

  “No, I think last night took a lot out of him and I’d rather him rest at Ruprecht’s.”

  “If you’re sure,” Thyme said, “but I really don’t like it.”

  I held up my hands. “What can I do? You saw the detectives there last night. They’re watching my every move. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before they arrest me.”

  Thyme snorted
rudely. “How can they arrest you? They don’t have a shred of evidence. There isn’t any motive.”

  I shook my finger at her. “Thyme, you know as well as I do that they don’t need a motive to arrest someone for homicide in Australia. You’ve been watching too much American TV again.”

  Thyme crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, they certainly need evidence, don’t they, and they don’t have a single shred. There’s no way they can arrest you!”

  “Maybe not, but they might haul me in for questioning again. That was just so stressful last time. They seem completely incompetent.”

  “It is a perplexing case, you must admit,” Thyme said. “You can’t really blame them for that.”

  I looked at my iPhone. “Time to open.” I went over to the door and opened it only to see Craig standing on the doorstep. “Come in.”

  Craig was a regular customer, often buying cupcakes for the fire station. His manner was polite, but he kept looking over his shoulder as if he expected Kayleen to appear. “Have the police arrested anyone yet?” he asked pointedly.

  “No,” I said. It was wearing on me that people suspected me. “Thyme, would you mind serving Craig? I’ll just pop out the back for a moment.”

  I went into the kitchen and sat at the table, my head in my hands. I considered making another batch of cupcakes, but first I had to discover why they exploded the last time. Was it simply because I was a powerful witch, channelling my powers through baking as Ruprecht had always said, or was there a more mundane explanation, one grounded in the physical world?

  I reached for my iPad. I googled, What makes batter explode? It simply responded to the question, What makes batteries explode? I sighed with frustration and then retyped, What makes cake batter explode?

  I was gratified to see several entries pop up. Clearly, I wasn’t the only bad cook on the planet. The consensus of opinion on the baking forum was that too much baking soda could make cupcakes explode, although one person said it would be more likely to make them overflow than explode. Someone else suggested that the baking soda might be quite new and therefore stronger than normal, although others disagreed with that.