Not Until You
Page 19
Slowly, she lifts her head and takes a step back. “I was in love once before you. One time, I let a guy into my heart. One time, I thought that I could do it, I could be like my friends.”
I move toward her, not wanting to let her retreat too far.
“Anyway.” Nicole tucks her hair behind her ear. “I was naïve or whatever. He was a client, and I was helping him design his office and also an apartment. It turned out that he was married and had a family. There were so many things that I ignored. I wanted so badly to believe that I was just being crazy and it was in my head, right?” She dips her chin, but it only moves a fraction before she’s lifting it again. “I was so wrong.”
Jesus Christ. No wonder she flipped out and left. It also makes sense why she was so adamant about her rule. “I wasn’t lying to you or carrying out some crazy affair.”
“But look at it from my standpoint. You were my client, and I have a strict no-fucking-the-client rule. I never wanted any man to have the ability to hurt me again, which you did. We went to London and made all these plans, but then your mom cancels and you didn’t want to take me to your office. I was like, am I being crazy or unaware? Then some chick comes in and says she’s your wife. What was I supposed to think?”
I take another step closer because I won’t let her push me away. She may not realize she’s doing it, but each time she speaks, she puts more distance between us. I understand putting up defenses more than she knows.
“None of that should’ve happened, and that’s my fault. Just as you, I’ve had my head fucked with. Lizzie was my life, I loved her and wanted to make it work, but she was—is—selfish. It’s been years since I’ve dated anyone. I felt no need, until you. I love you, Nicole. I meant that when I said it.”
She looks to me with trepidation. “I love you too.”
“Then know that my not telling you was really because I’ve tried very hard to forget. Probably the same reason you never told me about the man who hurt you.”
“Stop making sense.” She huffs but stops retreating.
“Stop being stubborn and come here.”
The challenge is there, she doesn’t like being told what to do, but I see how much she is fighting against herself.
“If I do . . . you’re going to kiss me,” she informs me. “You’re also going to have to prove that you love me.”
I smile and stand my ground, waiting for her to move toward to me. “I’ll do more than that, but you have to come here first.”
And then she walks right into my arms, where I plan to keep her.
Chapter Thirty-One
Nicole
“Are you all right?” Callum asks as he holds my hand while we drive home.
I can’t stop crying. I’m like a damn leaky faucet with the tears. Peter and I may not have seen eye to eye, but watching Danielle in this much pain has been insanely hard. I feel it as though it’s my own. Then I think, what if it was Callum?
What if it I lost him?
I know how much it hurt when I thought we were over, but to have spent our lives together, have children, and then to have him taken without warning . . .
And here come more tears.
“It’s just so sad.”
He nods. “Peter was a good man.”
“Yeah, it just makes no sense. I mean, how do you find any kind of peace after that? How do you explain to your children? How do you go on?” I ask rhetorically. “I can’t imagine her pain,” I sob.
I rest my head on his arm and he kisses the top of my head.
“She’s lost the love of her life.”
“I don’t ever want to lose you,” I tell him.
I didn’t plan to say the words, but they’re out there now.
“You won’t.”
“You can’t promise that. You’re not invincible, Callum Huxley.”
He smiles. “No, but I will always find my way back to you.”
“I appreciate the bullshit, but . . . God, I’m so freaking hormonal! I’ve cried more in three days than I have in the last ten years!”
We get back to my apartment, and I go to reach for the wine, needing a glass more than ever. Damn it. I can’t drink.
I already hate this pregnancy. It’s making me cry all the fucking time, and now I can’t drink.
“Shit!” I yell.
“What is it?”
“Can we have sex?”
Callum starts to take his shirt off. “I’m all for it.”
I start to huff and puff walking around the kitchen. “No! You don’t get it! I don’t know if we’re allowed. I mean, what if your big dick hits the baby?”
“As much as I appreciate the compliment. I’m pretty sure people have sex whilst being pregnant. I doubt many couples go nine months without it.”
Well, isn’t he just so smart? Great, another mood swing. I turn around, slamming my hand on the counter.
“What’s wrong, love?” Callum asks while wrapping his arms around me from behind.
“I can’t drink.”
“That is true.”
I look at him from over my shoulder. “It’s totally your fault.”
“This is also true.”
Well, at least he can admit it. I turn around so I’m facing him. There’s been so much on my mind, and now that all the wife shit is cleared up, things need to be addressed.
I’m not sure what to do or think, but I’ve learned that communication is key here. “Can we talk?”
“Of course,” Callum says. “What’s on your mind?”
“So many things, but mostly . . . we’re seriously having a baby.”
The look of pride on his face makes me want to slap him and kiss him. Which . . . I might just do.
“What are you worried about? Money?” he asks, and I scoff.
“No. I have money.”
“As do I.”
“Okay, what about raising him or her? What about custody? What about all of that?”
His arms drop, and he takes a step back. “I assumed we would be doing this together.”
I’m not sure what to say to that. Does he mean like a team? Or does he think something more? I’m done making assumptions and accusations. I want us to talk.
“Can you clarify what that looks like?”
“It means we’ll get married and be a family.”
My lips part, and I take two steps back. Callum, noting my retreat, follows forward. “I need space,” I tell him, putting my hand up.
He stops moving. “I need you to stay with me here.”
“I’m right here, but you can’t be serious. Us having a baby doesn’t need to equal marriage.”
“I’m aware of that. I don’t want to marry you because you’re pregnant. I want to marry you because I love you.”
“Callum, it’s too soon!”
“Says who?”
“Says me, you crazy person!” I shriek.
Marriage? A baby? Is he insane? Yes. Yes, he is. There is no reason we need to get married. If I wasn’t pregnant, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. No, we’d be in bed and he’d be getting the ride of his life.
Make-up sex is the best sex.
“Why am I crazy? Because I love you and I don’t ever want to spend a day apart from you? Because I named a CEO of Dovetail in London so I can be here full time, which I did before you left me because you thought I was married. Because I think about you all the time and wish to have you as my wife?” He takes a black box from his pocket and holds it out to me. “I got this three weeks ago. The day after the baseball game, I walked by this jewelry shop by the pizza place, saw it in the window, and I knew . . . I knew I had to have it for you.”
My legs start to quiver, and my throat goes dry. “Callum . . .”
“I planned this grand thing before you took off, you know?”
I shake my head.
“We would’ve been in Italy right now, going up and down to different vineyards and places. I planned to take you to this fantastic restaurant in Tuscany t
hat has the most magnificent view.”
Tears form in my eyes. I know what he’s going to do, and I appreciate that he’s stalling so I can say the right thing.
“I was going to get down on one knee.” I watch as he does what he just described. “I would’ve taken your hand in mine, like this, and then I would have asked you if you would be my wife. If you’d let me take care of you, love you, and give you the world.”
Water leaks from my eyes, but this time they aren’t sad tears. “Is that what you’re doing now?”
My mind wrestles back and forth between being crazy and just following my heart. I love Callum. I know there’s no one else I want. I know that he gets me, accepts me, and is the man I’m meant to be with.
“Yes. I’m asking you if you’ll marry me, Nicole Dupree. Be my wife. Not because of any reasons other than I love you more than anything and want to spend my life making you happy.”
I smile, knowing there’s really no question about what I should say. “On one condition,” I put it out there.
“Name it.”
I take his face in my hands, and smile. “If you only wear Yankee hats from now on.”
Callum chuckles. “I’ll be their number one fan.”
I bring my lips to his and then nod. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
His mouth closes over mine, and he kisses me senseless.
“You know?” I say between kisses. “We’re going to have to get married in a few weeks.”
“Fine by me.” His voice is full of passion as he brings our lips back together.
Which I don’t really have a problem with, but I’m serious.
“No, like, we have to get married very quickly.”
He grins. “Tomorrow works.”
“Cal!” I push him back.
“Nicole, I will marry you tonight if that is what you want.”
“You’re that sure?”
“I’m that sure.”
“So if I said let’s get on a plane and get married tonight, you would?”
He nods. “Yes. Is that what you want?”
“No, I want my friends and our families to be there.”
His arm tightens and he holds me closer. “Then that’s what you’ll get.”
I really love this man. “Well, okay then.”
“Is there anything else, or can I take you to bed now?”
My fingers graze his stubble. “Talk dirty British to me and I’ll shut up.”
Callum grips my hand, pulling me back to the bedroom. When we get there, he turns, his eyes are hungry, and I like it.
We’re going to have naughty Callum tonight.
He lifts my dress, revealing the fact that I’ve been commando all day.
“Jesus Christ,” he groans.
“Well, what are you going to do about it?”
His hands cup my ass, lifting me in the air as he walks back and then places me on the bed. I expect him to get on top of me, but he doesn’t. He drops to his knees on the side and his mouth is on me a moment later.
“Yes, right there!” I scream as he’s between my legs.
His tongue moves in another circle and then he pushes a digit into me. My walls clamp around his finger, and I grip his hair, holding on as my orgasm comes on fast. When his teeth close along my clit, giving enough pressure—I explode.
Damn this whole pregnancy thing might be a goddamn wonder. I have never gotten off so fast.
Callum’s eyes meet mine and the smug grin says he’s pretty damn proud.
“I’m going to make love to you, darling,” he says.
He removes his clothes and climbs onto the bed. “You really suck at this dirty talk.”
“I promise to defile you later, tonight, I need to love you.”
I understand what he’s saying. We almost lost each other, and I can see how much that hurt him.
“We’re going to have a lifetime of love, Callum.”
His lips press to mine. “This is one I want you to remember.”
My hand slides to his cheek, and the ring on my finger reflects the soft lighting all around us. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget tonight.”
He pulls my hand down, looking at the ring that rests there. “I love this. I love knowing that you’ve agreed to a life with me.”
I smile. “I love you.”
“You’ve truly made me the happiest man in the world.”
My eyes glimmer with tears. I cry so easily, whether I’m happy or sad. Stupid hormones are making me a cry baby.
“Stop being sweet.” I wipe my face. “I don’t like it.”
“I’m always sweet.”
“Yeah, stop it.”
He laughs and then kisses my lips. “Would you rather I be mean?”
My head moves side to side before I bring my mouth to his. “No, I like you sweet, but I like when you’re naughty too.”
Callum is a match to me in every way. I like him sweet and loving, but we both like to play rough. He’s adventurous when I want him to be, and he knows I’m down for just about anything. However, I don’t want anyone else to share our bed.
For the first time in a long time, I don’t need or want another man to give me what I’m lacking. He’s all that I need.
“Tomorrow, love. I’ll be as naughty as you like.”
“Well, then, let’s make love, and then for round two, we can pretend it’s after midnight.”
“I like how you think,” he says as he lines up with my entrance.
“Make love to me, Callum.”
He pushes forward, filling me in every way possible.
“Do you know how much you mean to me?” he asks between thrusts.
“As much as you mean to me.”
“Not possible.”
I grip his face, my eyes telling him everything that’s in my heart. However, I say it aloud just so there’s no misunderstanding what I’m feeling. I’m going to be so vulnerable, but that’s what he deserves, my soul. “I love you with my entire being. I plan to make those vows to you because you are my heart and soul. I know a thousand people will have spoken them before, but no one will have ever felt the way I will saying them. Now, shut up and make me come again, okay?”
“How about I make you come twice for that?”
I grin. “I look forward to you trying.”
“Me too, love. Me too.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Nicole
“You really don’t want to do a big wedding?” my mother asks.
“I don’t have time.” I groan. “I’m not wearing a pregnancy wedding dress, so it needs to be soon. Like, less than a month timeframe.”
She shakes her head. “I wanted grandkids, I didn’t expect it to be out of wedlock.”
Now she’s worried about customs? “I’m just saying that we’re going to do something very lowkey.”
“It just doesn’t seem your style. You’ve always been over the top in everything you’ve done. I expected it would be the same with this since you like to be the center of attention.”
Just once I’d like not everything out of her mouth to sound like an insult.
“I’m happy just doing it before the baby comes.”
“Had you told me about this two weeks ago when it happened, I could’ve secured something fast,” she scolds.
“It’s fine.”
“What about the club, Nicole? I can get that.”
I would rather swallow nails. “No.”
“But you met Callum there.”
I glare at her. “I also know that, if we have it at the club, you’ll invite a million people.”
“Your father will want it to be an event as well. I know you don’t care about decorum, but we both have images to maintain. What if I could assure you it’ll all be done in less than a month?”
Why is she pushing this so hard? “Mom, it’s fine. Callum and I are really good with it just being family and the girls. Besides, it’s really pretty much impossible to do a big wedding at this point.”
It would’ve all gone fine, we were going to elope next week, come home, and tell everyone, but then my stupid ass forgot to take my engagement ring off when I met my mother for lunch. It was downhill from there.
“It is never too late.” She pulls her phone out. “Give me forty-eight hours. If I can’t get all of it settled by then, you can go and do whatever horrendous version of a shotgun wedding you want. Will you give me that?”
She is not going to let this go. As much as I don’t want to agree, there’s a part of me that wants to see what she can do. The other thing is that this is my wedding, the only one I ever plan on having. I’ve been practically designing it since I was twelve.
I’ve always wanted the big day with thousands of pink roses, tulips, and camellias filling the venue.
I’ve dreamed of the slip dress that’s tighter up top and fuller on the bottom. It would have no back so it’s both classy and sexy.
My shoes . . . God, the shoes are so perfect. I have a pair of white lace Christian Louboutin heels that are absolutely the hottest thing ever.
They’re the shoes you leave on when you fuck that night because you actually want to see them up over his shoulders. Seriously, some stellar shoes.
All of this has been a part of my mind for as long as I can remember, and there is a small part of me that was disappointed that I wouldn’t have it.
Of course, the wedding is important, but really, it’s the guy who will be waiting for me at the end.
“You have twenty-four hours. And if it’s not what I want, then it’s not happening, understood?”
Her face lights up. “Don’t challenge me, darling. You’re about to lose.”
Is anyone really losing here?
“Okay, Mom, do your worst.”
“Did you really think Esther was going to fail?” Heather asks. “That woman is a wrecking ball in a china shop.”
“I think the phrase is bull in a china shop.”