Follow The Wind

by Janelle Taylor

  “Got out,” Alice squealed with joy when the pony escaped a brush enclosure. “See, run,” she said, giggling and clapping her pudgy hands.

  At two, the girl’s vocabulary increased every week. Jessie and Matt were proud of both their children.

  “I wanna pony, Papa,” Lane informed his parents as he had done countless times.

  “Get a little bigger first,” the soft-spoken Matt told him.

  “When I’m five?” the four-year-old asked, eyes wide with hope.

  “Six is better, son. These legs have to get longer,” Matt explained, releasing one hand from the book to playfully shake the boy’s knees, then tickle his tummy.

  “Why, Papa?” Lane inquired.

  “To reach the stirrups. You have to use them for balance when learning to ride. If you don’t, you fall off and get hurt.”

  “I’m going with you tomorrow,” Lane reminded Matt.

  “Yep, I haven’t forgotten, son. We’ll ride over to check on the horses after breakfast.”

  “Me go,” their daughter stated, looking at her father with bright eyes.

  Matt kissed her forehead and smiled. “Not tomorrow, Alice. You’ll get to go on the picnic Saturday to the new pond the boys dug.”

  “Let your father finish the story, children,” Jessie said. “It’s very late.”

  After Matt did so, Lane coaxed, “Read it again, Papa.”

  He put the book aside. “Another night, son. It’s off to bed with you two.”

  As the couple and their children talked a few minutes, no one noticed the man hiding outside the nearby window who was observing the poignant scene. Navarro Breed had left his mount at a safe distance, then sneaked to the house to see his son and his lost love before riding out of their lives. His secrecy was aided by the wall around the home and bushes near the structure. The hands were all inside the bunkhouse.

  Navarro witnessed the love and closeness of the family he was observing. Bittersweet emotions tugged at him. He wished it were he enjoying this family and this special life. He knew for certain now that Mathew Cordell had not lied to him; that made him feel both good and bad.

  He gazed at his son as Matt gathered the boy into his arms to put him to bed. Lane did resemble his real father, and that pleased Navarro. He devoured every word, movement, and expression his son used. It hurt to hear the boy call another man “Papa,” but the love and rapport those two shared was undeniable. The little girl favored Jessie; Alice was pretty, bubbly, and delightful. Navarro saw Lane hug and kiss his little sister, and the action made the man smile.

  Gran, looking older and weaker, took charge of Alice to put her to bed for Jessie. The white-haired woman and Matt left the room to do their tasks. Gran had bid them good night, as she was turning in, too.

  Navarro’s hungry eyes consumed every inch of Jessica Lane Cordell as she put toys and sewing away. She was more beautiful than five years ago. She wore a loose dress that did not conceal her pregnancy, and Navarro imagined that was how she had looked carrying his son. Her auburn hair was unbound; it flowed silky and wavy down her back. She still kept it cut shorter on the sides and top as she had done for her disguise so long ago in San Angelo. Her skin was smooth and flawless, and glowed with her happiness. Her expressive eyes seemed bluer and clearer; no doubt from peace and joy, he decided. How lovely she was, and he yearned to kiss her and hold her one last time…No, he wanted her forever. But that could not be. Once more, it was too late for them. Years ago, he had lost his love because of his dark past. Now, he would lose her again because of her bright future, into which he could not intrude.

  Navarro remembered all Jessie had taught him and all she meant to him. When he had met her, he hadn’t loved or needed anybody. That was no longer true. She had inspired love, compassion, unselfishness, and courage. He had learned about what makes a home and a family from this unique woman. She had made him laugh and smile, even learn to dance. She had gotten him a pardon and job, even though the law hadn’t revealed her part in it when they set him free. Even after thinking he had deserted her, she didn’t hate him.

  On her ranch, he had made real friends. He had shared a special bond with her brother, one that had helped both of them. But he was not a part of their lives anymore, and that saddened him.

  If he hadn’t met Jessica Lane and fallen under her influence, his existence would be bleak today. He wouldn’t have cared about life or even a new chance. He would still be on the run or dead. He would have been in and out of trouble for the rest of his miserable life. She had saved him and changed him.

  He had a fine son. He had beautiful memories. He had a fresh start. Hard as it was to ride away, this time forever, he must and he would. One day his son would own this splendid ranch. Lane would have a better life with Matt than he himself could have offered; and it wasn’t right to confuse and hurt the boy now. Lane had a loving and wonderful mother, a good father, and kin. Lane would be happy, respected, be somebody important: things his natural father had been denied. Matt had promised to contact him if trouble arose in the future, and he trusted the rancher. It was time—

  Navarro watched as Matt returned to his wife and embraced her. “All done, love.”

  They sat on the couch and talked, cuddled together. Matt’s arm was around Jessie, and her head rested on his strong shoulder. The couple discussed their construction plans for the hands’ homes; they spoke of their future, of the child Jessie was carrying. They talked of how much they looked forward to seeing Tom after college ended. They spoke of Mary Louise Lane Blye, who wanted children and who would be visiting them with her physician husband next summer. Matt joked about Miguel and Annie Ortega trying to catch up with them, as they were expecting their third child, too. Jessie reminded Matt of their intention to replace Annie before their next child was born, as Annie had her hands full with her own family. The couple smiled when Matt related that Biscuit Hank, their chuckhouse cook, had finally proposed to a lovely widow in town.

  “It’s perfect timing, Matt. Hank and his bride can move into one of the new houses, so he can remain with us. Annie and Miguel have asked for one; they need more room. If we get busy, they can be settled before Christmas.”

  “It shouldn’t take long, Jessie. It was a good idea. You’re always thinking about everybody else. That’s why I love you so much, woman.”

  “I just want everyone to be as happy and comfortable as we are. If the…”She halted and laughed. “The baby’s moving. It tickles. Maybe it’s a son. Feel.”

  “Doesn’t matter, love; I have a fine son, the best a man could want.”

  Jessie nestled closer to him. “You’re a good father to Lane, Matt.”

  “It’s easy; I love him. Jessie…” he began rather hesitantly. “If the day ever comes when Lane needs to know about his real father, we’ll tell him the truth. Navarro would be, proud of Lane. He left to protect you, so that proves he’s a good man. After the baby’s born, do you want me to get you the truth about him?”

  Jessie turned her head and gazed into her husband’s warm brown eyes. “That isn’t necessary, Matt. We’ve done all we can for him. After he left years ago, I had terrible feelings and nightmares that he was in danger. Maybe there was some kind of mental connection to him because I was carrying his child. But lately, especially today, I have this strong feeling that he’s all right. I can’t explain it, but I sense he truly is safe and free. It’s almost as if he knows the truth about us and accepts it. I hope so. It would be so hard to face him and hurt him again. Navarro doesn’t deserve more pain and sacrifice. He was a special part of my life, but that was long ago. I’m glad you don’t feel threatened by our past. I love you for being so kind and understanding.”

  Matt kissed her brow. “Perhaps Navarro knows the truth and that’s why he’s left us alone. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt you and Lane. You gave him the strength and courage to fight for a fresh start. Navarro’s a special man; he’ll win this time. Wherever he is, he knows he’s done what’s best for
all of us.”

  “I honestly hope so, Matt; that’s what I want to believe. Let’s get to sleep. The children will be up at dawn and pulling us from our bed.”

  Matt stood and helped Jessie to her feet. The rancher doused the lamps. With their arms around each other, they headed for the steps and a cozy bed.

  Neither saw the man who eased away from the open window, sneaked over the stucco and stone wall, and slipped from their happy life without turning it inside out. Navarro Breed mounted his horse and rode toward Arizona to capture a new dream.

  Upstairs, Mathew and Jessica Cordell peeked in on their children. All was quiet. The couple entered their room. Matt undressed and eased into bed. Jessie donned a pretty cotton gown and joined him. They snuggled and kissed.

  “Sweet dreams, Jessie,” Matt murmured into her ear.

  “You, too, my love,” she replied, at last feeling as if that was the only kind she would have forever. You, too, Navarro, her peaceful heart added.

  Epilogue

  Mathew and Jessica Cordell stood before the new entrance to their ranch. A large sign hung from the stone arch over the dirt road to their home, one that said L/C Ranch: their stock brand, ranch name, and the initials of their two sons. Matt was behind Jessie, his arms wrapped around her slender waist. Both gazed at the sign and thought of the bond it represented.

  Jessie reflected on all that had brought them to this September day in 1882. She knew her father and mother would be happy, and proud of her. She had never learned who had slain Jedidiah Lane six years ago, but she had to believe his killer had met justice. At least, the man who ordered his murder had been punished.

  Jessie didn’t want to dwell on sad matters today. She had two fine sons: Lane and Lance Cordell, brothers who would share this magnificent and profitable spread one day. She had a beautiful vivacious daughter who would be given the chance to choose her own path; Alice would never be treated or viewed as a son, as she herself had been for twenty-four years. Yet the redhead was not bitter about the way she’d been raised. Jed had never meant to harm any of his three children. They all loved him. She knew her father must be resting easier now that Mary Louise and Tom were so much happier.

  So much had happened this summer. A healthy and happy Thomas Lane had returned from college in June, with only a slight and almost unnoticeable limp. His new glasses provided perfect vision and looked appealing on the handsome auburn-haired nineteen-year-old. Tom had brought home a lovely girl named Sarah Jane Tims, and the engaged couple had wed in late July. With the Cordells’ backing, Tom and his bride had opened a mercantile store in Davis that was doing well.

  Mary Louise and Dr. John Blye had accompanied Tom home. They had visited with her family until after the wedding. Everyone, but particularly Jessie and Gran, had been astonished and pleased by the good changes in the beautiful blonde who radiated with happiness. Powerful love, Jessie decided, was a great medicine for the sick in heart, spirit, or body. Since returning home to Philadelphia, news had arrived by letter this month revealing Mary Louise’s first pregnancy. Both the Blyes and Cordells were thrilled.

  Gran, at seventy-six, still insisted on doing chores in the house. She loved her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and was happy all the family were friends at last. The few bouts of forgetfulness or confusion she had these days were harmless.

  Most of the original Lane hands still worked for them. Five couples—including Annie and Miguel Ortega, Hank Epps and his wife, and Jefferson Clark and his new bride—occupied the cozy houses on the site of the old homestead. It was nice having good neighbors for the adults and playmates for the children. Since both towns—Davis and Stockton—were so far for daily travel and both schools were crowded, Jessie and Matt had decided to construct a small schoolhouse on their property for all the children.

  As Jessie had thought over the last six years, she realized how one dream had been exchanged for another, one man for another. She could not help but wonder how Navarro Breed was doing.

  Following Lance’s birth a year ago, Matt had told her about Navarro’s visit and the men’s talk last June. Jessie had been relieved and saddened to learn why Navarro had been unable to contact her or return to her. At last she was able to understand and forgive. She was proud of her role, and Matt’s, in his new life. She believed the two men had made the right and kindest decision for everyone last year. She understood why Navarro hadn’t wanted Matt to tell her about their meeting, but dear Matt knew her so well, as it should be between a husband and wife.

  Hopefully Navarro had found real peace and happiness, as his brief letter last December had indicated. Jessie wanted those things for him; she prayed his claims were true, not just meant to protect her from some awful truth. More and more Lane favored his real father; but the dark-haired, hazel-eyed boy had Mathew Cordell’s personality. In all but blood, Lane was Matt’s son.

  In his letter, Navarro had told how he’d been exonerated of all charges, found a good job and a contented life. He had said he stayed away all those years to protect both of them and to give each a chance for a fresh start alone. He had revealed that he’d checked on her to make certain she was all right. Since she was also doing so well, he had felt it was best not to meet again and stir up the past. He had thanked her for her role in changing him. He had intended to let the past stay buried, but her letters to several Arizona authoritiespassed on to him because of his job—encouraged him to write so she wouldn’t worry about him any longer. He had mentioned prison reforms, and she was delighted about them. He had said he was happy for her, and knew she’d feel the same for him.

  Jessie was relieved Navarro had written instead of visiting. Yet she hated that he would never know his son, even though it was important for everyone’s happiness. He was living and working in Arizona as a scout, translator, and peacemaker between the whites and Apaches. She was relieved the skilled half-white warrior was there to keep the raiding Apaches from heading this way. But she hadn’t tried to contact him, as gently ordered. Jessie was glad Navarro Breed had made a fresh start, and she treasured not only his sacrifices of six years ago but the final one of last year. Knowing he was alive and well gave her peace and joy.

  For most of her life, she had lived as Jed’s “son,” as Jess Lane. Navarro had ended her passionless existence. She had loved him wildly and freely, rashly and blindly. If he had returned in time, she would have lost herself again as Navarro’s woman.

  With Matt, she had found her real self, the woman she was meant to be. She had grown and matured; she had stayed strong, and had gotten stronger. She loved her husband and needed him, just as he loved and needed her. They were so alike, so special as one. Mathew Cordell was her destiny. A turbulent life was behind her. A good life was with and before her.

  Jessie turned to face her husband. She hugged him tightly. When he laughed and questioned the meaning of her emphatic squeeze, she gazed into his eyes and said, “For so long I was searching for a beautiful dream, and it was right before me when I awoke from my girlish sleep. I love you, Matt; I think I always did. I just had to become a woman before I could understand that. I’m glad you gave me time to grow up and you let me capture you.”

  The grinning man returned her smile. “I love you, too, Mrs. Cordell.” Matt could not help but think about the man—the half-breed drifter—who had helped make this blissful life possible. He knew Navarro would keep his word about staying away. Yet, if trouble came down the road one day, Jessie knew where and how to locate Navarro Breed for help, protection, and comfort.

  Jessie cuddled closer to her husband. With Matt at her side and in her arms, the L/C Ranch would become famous far and wide. Jessie lifted her head and kissed him deeply. She had sought to follow the wind with a daring desperado, but now she possessed a beautiful and priceless love.

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