by Lori Foster
Watching her face for any sign of retreat, he whispered, “There’s kisses, and then there’s kisses. The kind you want may not be the kind I’m wanting to give you. Why don’t you be more specific so I don’t screw this up?”
With her fingertip, Brandi drew an idle design over the rug. She peeked up at him, then away again. “Why don’t you just start with the one you think I want…then maybe we can try the one you want to give me?”
BRANDI WAITED, holding her breath, while Sebastian apparently considered her suggestion. He scooted closer and her heartbeat raced with a mixture of dread and excitement. She really wanted to enjoy his kiss and, so far, the only fear she felt was that she might make a fool of herself. The possibility always existed, and she didn’t think she could bear it if—
His fingertips touched her jaw, suspending all thought. Gently, he tipped up her chin and her vision was filled by him, the heat in his gaze, the tautness of his expression. Gentleness seemed a part of him, incongruous with his obvious strength, his massive size. The contrasts had intrigued her from the start. She could easily picture him defending a person with lethal skill, then soothing that person with his quiet, sure manner.
It was almost impossible not to trust him, because his power was tempered by genuine caring. All his life, he’d been taking care of others. Brandi wanted to take care of him. She just wasn’t sure she knew how.
His eyes closed and hers closed, as well, as she waited breathlessly for his kiss. Then she felt it, the brief, heated touch of his mouth on her own. His breath fanned her cheek, and his lips moved the smallest bit, coasting over hers, teasing.
She wanted to touch him, to put her hands on that broad hard chest, but she was afraid. Afraid of failure, afraid of how he might react. Afraid of how she might react.
Slowly he pulled away, just enough to put space between them but not enough that she couldn’t feel him, his nearness, his heat. Her eyes opened and she saw him watching her, his gaze intent and probing. She swallowed. Her heartbeat knocked against her ribs and there was a queer little tingle in the pit of her stomach, stirred by his hot musky scent. She started to speak, but he laid a finger over her lips.
“That was the kiss you wanted.”
Feeling numb, Brandi nodded.
“Do you want to go on?”
It was the sound of his voice that decided her. Rough and grating, like a man on the edge of control. She licked her lips and accidently touched his finger. His expression hardened even more, and before she could deny him, before she had to stumble her way though an explanation she couldn’t give, he pulled back.
“No. I don’t think we should play this game any more. At least not right now. You might be ready for it, but I don’t think I am.”
His comment about games distracted her from her worries, so that even though he’d given her an out, she said, “I thought it was my decision to make. I’m the one in charge, remember?”
“I have no intention of forgetting.” Then his thick dark lashes lowered and he looked at her through slumberous eyes. “In fact, since you’re the one in charge, why don’t you do the kissing? Then we’ll both know for certain that you’re getting exactly what you want.”
The idea fascinated her. Sebastian leaned back until his shoulders were braced against the sofa. He stretched out his long muscled legs and crossed his ankles, then folded his arms over his chest. He looked negligent and at his ease—not in any way a threat. Except for his eyes. They shone with heat, the green bright and excited. But instead of fear, Brandi was suffused by her first dose of feminine power.
Rising to her knees, she said, “Don’t move.”
His jaw hardened, but he nodded. His eyes never left her.
She inched closer, watching him, but he remained in his contained pose. Carefully she placed her palms on his shoulders. He felt so hard, like warm, smooth stone. The muscles bunched beneath her fingers and she dug in just a little, like a cat testing the texture of his body, but there was almost no resilience here. The man was simply hard all over.
He made a small sound, but stayed completely still. Brandi stared at his mouth. The slight growth of whiskers there looked sexy to her, and she wanted to touch his skin, to taste him and luxuriate in his scent. She hadn’t known a man could smell so delicious. Instead, feeling like a coward, she leaned down and placed a hard, quick peck on his mouth, then looked to see his reaction.
“That isn’t what you wanted, Brandi. Is it?”
Oh, that husky voice, thick with desire, challenging her. Shivering with reaction, she leaned down again. This time she let her mouth linger, each move calculated. Until she forgot what she was doing, until the heady scent of him filled her and she felt drunk and anxious and hot. His tongue came out to glide along her bottom lip and he made a rough sound of pleasure. Brandi gasped. He used that second to lick inside her lips, to explore the edge of her teeth. He kept his hands and body still. Nothing moved except for his mouth, which now slanted against hers.
Brandi leaned a little more heavily into him and he groaned.
Just that quickly, she remembered herself and jerked away. Good grief, she hadn’t meant for things to go so far. She’d only wanted to try a simple kiss. But when she saw how dark Sebastian’s cheeks had become, how hard his jaw looked, the fierce green of his eyes, she knew she’d gone too far.
She came to her feet in a rush. Still he didn’t move, he only watched her. And waited. “I’m sorry. I…I should go on to bed now.”
With his arms still crossed over his chest, he slowly nodded. In a slow, deep whisper, he said, “Good night, Brandi.”
“I…” She wanted to explain, to try to make him understand.
With a leisurely thoroughness that had her stomach doing flips, his gaze moved over her, and he said, “It’s all right. You don’t have to say anything.”
He shifted slightly, uncrossing his ankles and parting them just a bit. Her gaze was drawn downward. She couldn’t miss the sight of his bold erection, pressing taut against his slacks. That part of him looked huge and hard, in concordance with the rest of his big body. Heat washed over her, both from embarrassment and excitement. It seemed impossible to breathe, looking at the length of him, his size. Her lips parted, but no words came out.
She could hear the masculine amusement in his next words. “Like I said, you’re a very sexy lady. And I’m not exactly immune.”
Brandi gulped. “Good night, Sebastian.”
She rushed from the room, but when she peeked back over her shoulder at him, it was to see his head dropped back on the cushions of the couch, one forearm over his eyes. He looked like a man in pain. Or in desperate need.
She didn’t like herself for it, but a small kernel of satisfaction swelled inside her. A man like Sebastian…and he wanted her. She had kissed him. She had touched him. She was on her way to a full recovery.
Maybe this vacation wouldn’t be so bad after all.
“DO YOU HAVE to buy every damn thing you see?”
Brandi tried to hide her grin as she listened to Sebastian’s continual grumping. She’d slept like the dead last night, content with her progress, with her new experimentation. But evidently Sebastian hadn’t slept much at all. He looked tired today and his mood could only be described as grouchy.
“You don’t like the horse? I think he’s kind of cute.”
“The damn thing looks ridiculous. The head is too big, and the color is ludicrous. You paid way too much for it.”
“It’s a souvenir. Of course it cost more than it should.”
He made a sound of exasperation, then eyed her shopping bag. “At the marina this morning you bought fake fish, then at the breakfast inn you bought two milkmaid dolls.”
“Two very cute milkmaid dolls,” she corrected. “And I’ve had a great time today, Sebastian. Even though it was still a little cold on the lake this morning, I enjoyed the rowboat. I couldn’t believe what horrible beggars those big carp were.” She knew her gratitude would only annoy him more.
Each and every time she thanked him, he frowned.
“This is supposed to be your vacation, Brandi. You’re supposed to have a good time.”
“And I am. Especially with the shopping.” It was the truth, but she had an ulterior motive, also. Since Sebastian was helping her without even realizing it, she wanted to help him, too. She hoped to get him to loosen up a little about money. Like Sebastian, she didn’t believe in squandering her cash, but neither did she enjoy putting herself on a shoestring budget, not when she could afford better. Sebastian simply wasn’t used to putting his own needs and desires first; his life centered around helping others. It was past time he gave himself some happiness.
“What the hell are you going to do with all that junk, anyway?”
It hadn’t been easy, but Brandi had managed to convince him to go shopping along the main strip with her after breakfast. She’d been forced to resort to coercion, reminding him that she was in charge. He’d given in with little grace, and now they’d been at it for hours, not even stopping for lunch.
She’d hoped he’d get into the spirit of it, but obviously the man did not like to shop. He had no appreciation for the many quaint little speciality stores. Brandi, on the other hand, had bought something from almost every shop.
It had rained first thing in the morning, but now the sun was out and shining brightly and the day seemed beautiful to her, though it still wasn’t overly warm. She was comfortable in a long denim skirt and loose navy blue sweater. Sebastian wore jeans and another polo shirt, this one dark gray. He looked very handsome, if a bit surly.
Still, even with his attitude turned sour, he was a perfect gentleman. Every time she left a shop, Sebastian took her hand. He protected her from the flow of human traffic and steered her around mud puddles. It felt right to have him so close, to feel his warmth and strength.
“If you must know, I want to take a gift back to each of the kids at the shelter. They get so few presents.”
She said it carelessly, but still he looked dumbstruck, then shamefaced. “Damn it. I’m sorry.” He rubbed his eyes with his free hand, then sighed. “I know I’m being a bastard today, but I didn’t get much sleep last night. How ’bout a cup of coffee? The caffeine will do me good, and your feet have got to be getting tired.”
Actually, she felt fine, but he looked ready to drop, so she took mercy on him. “I only have two more gifts to buy. Why don’t you go for your coffee and I’ll meet you there in a few minutes.”
His hand tightened on hers. “I can go with you. I should probably pick up something for the kids, too. I just hadn’t thought about it.”
Her heart softened and the urge to hug him close almost overwhelmed her. “It’s not necessary, Sebastian. I already have plenty of gifts.” He didn’t look convinced, so she added, “Look, right there on the corner is a café. I’ll hit this last shop, grab a few more gifts and then join you. Give me fifteen minutes.”
He still hesitated, probably because she tended to spend closer to forty-five minutes in each shop, but she gave him a look of insistence. “Go. I order you. And I’m the boss, remember? Guzzle coffee. Wake yourself up.”
Finally he nodded and turned away. She watched until he’d crossed the street and disappeared into the crowd. This vacation was turning out to be a revelation. For such a long time, she’d hidden behind her independence and privacy, never wanting anyone to invade her space, to get too close and ponder her thoughts. But now, she already missed having Sebastian at her side.
It filled her with warmth to think of him, which she did. The whole time she considered small collectibles from the souvenir shop, part of her mind was on Sebastian. Their kiss last night had probably not meant much to him, but to her it had been an accomplishment, a giant step forward. Not since she was eighteen had she kissed a man, or even wanted to. The thought had been nothing less than repellent, the memories stored with it, horrifying. But there was nothing repellent about Sebastian Sinclair. The man could make her tremble with just a look.
With her mind half on her newest purchases, and half on getting back to Sebastian, it was no wonder she almost ran into the men. When she finally did see them, it was too late to step out of their way. Within a second, the two of them had crowded her into the store’s brick front.
Brandi felt the visceral panic swell, but she fought it back. They were on a busy street. No harm could come to her. Still, as one of the men gave a long, low whistle, she jerked back, memories assailing her. Both men laughed.
One of them gave her a genuine smile. “You look like you could use some help with that big shopping bag, honey. Why don’t I give you a lift to wherever you’re going? Or better yet, to where we’re going. What do you say?”
She tried to answer, but no words would come, not even a denial. The men were too close, towering over her.
The other one stepped closer still. “She doesn’t want you, Josh. Why not give me a chance?” Then he gave her a wide grin. “How about it, sweetheart? You up for a little fun?”
She shook her head, hating her cowardice, the gnawing fear. The first man frowned, looking concerned and he reached for her. She bolted. Feeling foolish even as her legs stretched out, she raced toward the street, her shopping bag clutched to her middle. She heard the men give a surprised burst of laughter at her mad dash, and tears stung her eyes. Frantically, she searched for Sebastian, but didn’t see him, which made the panic even worse.
When someone took her arm from behind, she started to scream, but the sound was cut off as she was whipped around and both arms grabbed in a tight hold. “What the hell is the matter with you? What’s happened?”
Sebastian. Brandi threw herself against his familiar strength, uncaring that they were drawing notice, or that he might feel her violent trembling. She clung tight to him as she tried to shake the fear. Rather than asking questions, he held her close until she calmed. Several minutes passed in complete silence except for her racing breaths. Sebastian’s big hands smoothed up and down her back, and twice she felt the light touch of a kiss to her temple. When she lifted her face from his chest, he surveyed her, then with a grim look, said, “Come on,” and started them down the street, his arm tight around her waist. She went with him gladly, not even protesting when he pried her shopping bag out of her numb fingers to carry it for her.
Taking them slightly off the main drag, he urged her toward a low stone fence and then lifted her up to sit. Pink-and-white azaleas bloomed all around them, their sweet scent heady in the air. Sebastian stood in front of her, his legs braced apart, his expression enigmatic. “Tell me what happened, Brandi.”
Oh, God, she couldn’t. She closed her eyes and shook her head. Sebastian stepped forward until her knees brushed against the front of his body. She didn’t dare look down to see exactly where they touched.
“Brandi, you’re as pale a ghost.”
“And every bit as vapid,” she said in disgust.
“You want to tell me what that means?”
“Not particularly.” She’d acted the fool, once again. She might as well have been eighteen again, the fear had come back that strong. She was ridiculous and stupid and…
“Brandi? Talk to me, honey, right now. I don’t like this one damn bit.”
She could hear the genuine concern in his words. Reaching out, she took his hands and held them. “I’m sorry. I overreacted, that’s all. Sometimes I can be very silly and foolish.”
“Overreacted to what?”
Uh-oh. He sounded ready to do bodily harm to someone. Eight years of military training and hardness sounded in his tone. The barbarian warrior was back.
But no real harm had been done. The men hadn’t even been all that brazen. “It’s nothing, really. Two men got a little friendly, that’s all. And I…well, it frightened me just a bit. I behaved like an idiot, running off like I did.”
He didn’t look convinced, but he did correct her. “You didn’t run off. You ran to me.”
“Well…yeah, I guess I did.”
“You felt safer with me.”
“I know you, for crying out loud! I didn’t know these men. Don’t make more of it than it is.”
“What did they say to you?”
Now that she was away from them and the panic had ebbed, she couldn’t bear to repeat it all. “They were just two men flirting the way men do. They said a few things, and I should have answered them, to put them in their place. But instead, I just ran off.”
“To me.”
Brandi rolled her eyes. He did seem to be stuck on that small fact. “Yes, to you. Did you expect me to run all the way back to the cabin?”
“I didn’t expect you to be running at all or I never would have left you alone. It didn’t feel right in the first place. I was just coming to get you when I saw you dashing across the street.”
Needing desperately to change the subject, she asked, “Did you get your coffee?”
“No. I saw a sign for an outdoor musical and thought that would work as good as caffeine to wake me up. You want to go? We could grab a hamburger or something there for dinner.”
Surprised, Brandi checked her watch. It was going on five o’clock. The morning and afternoon had flown by and they hadn’t eaten since breakfast. The idea of an outdoor concert was appealing, but she preferred the privacy of the cabin for dinner. “We can check out the concert, but there’s no way I’m going to eat a greasy hamburger. I want real food tonight.”
“Fair enough. How about an hour or so of music, then you can pick the restaurant we eat at?”
“No restaurant. I want to go back to the cabin and order room service.”
At first, Sebastian didn’t answer her. Brandi knew how he felt about the expensive meals the lodge offered, but she needed some privacy tonight, away from the crowds. And she wanted to teach him to take pleasure in the small things, even when they cost a bit more. She half expected an argument from him, especially given his earlier contentious mood. But then he took a deep breath and asked, “Did anyone pack you a swimsuit?”