Unbelievable
Page 13
“You looked embarrassed.”
“Um, Shay being insistent is sometimes hard to talk around.”
“Next time, just tell her to butt out.” He touched her cheek. “Especially when she’s questioning your love life.”
Brandi laughed. “Are you kidding? With Shay, that would be as good as admitting there was something going on, and she’d have kept me on the phone forever prying for details. Mostly because I’ve never had a love life.”
Sebastian took her arm and steered her toward the exit. Very quietly, he asked, “Is there something going on?”
“You know what I mean.”
Of course he did, but he needed to know her thoughts. It had occurred to him that while he grew more and more emotionally involved with Brandi she might very well only be using a prime situation to experiment with her sexuality. He’d invited her to do so. And at the time, it had seemed to be enough.
Now he wanted more.
He’d offered her the use of his body, but he didn’t want to be used. Not anymore. He wanted to share. He wanted her trust. Maybe he wanted forever.
Brandi had never experienced lust before, so she had no way of knowing how unique the chemistry was between them. Lust existed, more powerful than anything he’d ever imagined, but it was tempered by so many other, more tender emotions. He wanted to teach her to enjoy her body, to enjoy his body, but he didn’t want her to take that knowledge and apply it with another man. The mere thought made him furious.
“Sebastian? Is something wrong?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“You look upset.”
He glanced down at her as they walked through the doorway and into the dim, damp outdoors. Sebastian breathed deep, filling his lungs with the rain-scented air, bracing himself. “I’d like for you to sleep with me tonight. The whole night.”
Brandi faltered. “I don’t know…”
He turned to her, catching both her hands, looking down into her wide blue eyes. “Just sleep, baby. I want to hold you all night, and wake up with you beside me in the morning. Trust me.”
The look she gave him now was timid, skittering away before he could figure out what it meant. “I want to trust you, but it’s not easy. I really don’t think I’d be able to sleep.”
“Can we at least try?”
“Why?”
She seemed frustrated, and maybe he was pushing her. But he only had a few days left, including the day they’d have to pack and fly home. Once they returned to the real world, with all the outside commitments of family and jobs and life in general, would she give him a chance? Or would she chalk up her experiences here and try to get on with her life? Was it even fair of him to want or expect more? She’d had so little fun and missed out on so much sensual growth, without a single male-female relationship. But he wanted to be the man to give her those things she’d missed; all the flirting and small gifts and new touches.
He could do it. His lifestyle wasn’t so inhibited that he couldn’t bend a little and buy her flowers and chocolates on occasion. The thought of squandering the money in such a frivolous way had always seemed repugnant, but to make her happy, he’d do it. He would enjoy doing it.
And his house, though set out in the country away from the congestion of rushing people, was adequate in size, even without all the renovations finished. It wasn’t fancy, but it was solid and secure. A good investment.
He shied away from that thought, that logical reasoning, because it made him feel like an ass. Brandi needed and wanted fun and laughter, not sensibility. And he’d find a way to give it to her.
The sun peeked out, reflecting on all the wet surfaces, chasing away the last of the clouds. Sebastian leaned down and pressed a quick hard kiss to Brandi’s mouth, determined despite her resistance.
“I want to sleep with you because you’re warm and soft and smell sweet.” Her face flamed and she looked away. Sebastian chuckled. “Besides, I think you’ll like it. I know I will. It’s a nice feeling to be cuddled close all night with someone you care about.”
She didn’t deny that she cared, though she did chew on her bottom lip in a fretful way. He counted that as a step forward; what the hell? He was an optimist, and if he chose to count almost everything as progress, it was nobody’s business but his own.
“If you don’t like it, if it bothers you, we’ll deal with it, okay? You liked sleeping with me on the couch.”
She stopped, looking down at her feet. “The couch is not a bed, and you were sitting. I know it’s silly, but it makes a difference.”
“Look at it this way. Last week, did you think you’d find yourself sleeping with a man on a couch, regardless of what position he was in?”
“Last week I couldn’t have imagined doing any of the things we’ve done.”
“But you don’t regret them?”
She shook her head, and her small smile showed her new confidence. Even more than the belated sunshine, it warmed him. He slipped his arm around her and held her close to his side. “We’ll just see how it goes. You can even sleep in that long granny gown if it’ll make you feel better.”
She blinked at him. “Well, of course I’ll wear my nightgown!”
Sebastian laughed at her vehemence. She probably didn’t realize how damn sexy the gown looked on her slight frame. Sexy and feminine. It draped her body, hinting at curves, and her rosy nipples showed through the material. Just thinking of it made him semierect once again. He had the hair-trigger reaction of a teenager around her.
And unlike Brandi, he slept in the nude.
He looked at the bright sun. There were way too many hours between now and bedtime. And at the moment, he wasn’t at all sure he’d last that long.
THE DRESS HAD COST a small fortune, and Brandi had been very resistant to his buying it. But Sebastian had been insistent and he’d made it a birthday present, so she couldn’t really refuse. Now, as he moved her around the dance floor, she knew it was the perfect dress for her. When Sebastian had first seen her in it, he’d given his approval with a low whistle and a heated look that spoke volumes.
She felt sexy, but the sexiness came from the simplicity of the dress—and Sebastian’s attentiveness. He hadn’t tried to coerce her into anything low cut or ultra short. He’d bypassed all the dresses that might have made her uncomfortable and she appreciated his sensitivity.
The dress landed just above her knees and had a two-inch slit up one leg. It hugged what it covered, not tightly, just doing a lot to emphasize her slight figure. The front of the dress rose to her neck, but in the back, it dipped to her shoulder blades. Right now, Brandi could feel the warmth of Sebastian’s fingers as they coasted over her skin. The man couldn’t stop touching her, and she loved it.
She tried not to think about the coming night, because thinking of it made her queasy. She didn’t want to mess things up by behaving like a ninny, or showing her cowardice. And she trusted him now, completely. But that didn’t mean she’d be able to rest easy in his arms all night. If she had the nightmare, if she froze up and kept him awake, it would put a damper on their time together, and they only had a few days left.
The music ended and Sebastian smiled down at her. “What are you thinking about?”
He seemed in no hurry to leave the dance floor. That suited Brandi. Now that she felt comfortable dancing, she’d gladly do so all night—with Sebastian. “I was wondering about you. Where you live, if your work takes you away from home very often.”
A guarded expression came over his face and he took her hand, leading her back to their table. After seating her, he asked, “Why so curious all of a sudden?”
Brandi didn’t know where the questions had come from, or why. It was probably because she wanted to see more of him, in more normal circumstances, even though she knew that was impossible. Their time together seemed magical and unreal. In a way it was unreal because they were simply too different to form any lasting relationship. Sebastian was the most vital, ene
rgetic, appealing man she’d ever met.
And she was still a timid shadow of a woman. That wouldn’t change, no matter how she wished it could.
“Brandi?”
He took her hand across the table—touching her again. She smiled to herself, loving the constant contact with him, and knowing she’d miss it once they returned home. But Sebastian deserved a whole woman, not one bogged down with emotional difficulties from her past.
“You know so much about me, but I don’t even know where you live.”
He seemed to consider that for a long moment before he answered. Brandi wondered if he thought she was prying, or if perhaps he wanted to keep his life separate so their parting at the end of the trip wouldn’t be too complicated.
“I have an old farmhouse I’ve been renovating. To me, it’s beautiful, filled with all natural woodwork and hardwood floors. It’s how I spend much of my free time, working on the place. I had to replace a lot of the plumbing and the wiring. The roof was in horrible shape. But it has charm, and it’s isolated, away from the congested suburbs and the busy city.”
“Does it take you long to get to work each day?”
He shrugged. “That depends. My work differs from job to job, so I never know in which direction I’ll be going, anyway. But it’s about a forty-minute drive to downtown, where I have my offices. There aren’t any other houses around, and I own several acres, so my privacy will always be protected.”
“That’s important to you?”
He made a rough sound, not quite a laugh. “After growing up in tenement buildings where the hallways were always filled with loiterers, vagrants and drunks, and the front steps couldn’t be walked on for the bodies resting there, yes, my privacy is damn important.” His eyes narrowed on her, bright green and intense. “It’s not something I’d ever be able to give up.”
There was a warning there, or a message, but Brandi already knew their time was limited. She didn’t need him to spell it out. “Do you spend a lot of time away from your home?”
“Occasionally. It’s not uncommon for me to be gone for days at a time, but most of my jobs now are contained within the city.” He tilted his head at her, as if trying to see into her thoughts. “I could limit my work out of town, if it ever became a problem.”
Feeling uncomfortable now, because it was as if he knew she was asking for personal reasons, Brandi added, “I suppose for a single man, it isn’t an issue.”
“No. I’ve been expanding my offices, hiring on additional men for surveillance work. But it’s a catch-22. Expansion will free up more of my time, but doing the expanding itself requires additional time and commitment.”
Brandi couldn’t imagine living in isolation, away from neighbors or friends and family. But she could tell by looking at Sebastian that it suited him. “So, you’re happy there.”
It wasn’t a question, but a statement, and one more obstacle to prove their time at the cabin was a fluke, not something that could be extended once the prize package had been used up.
“My home isn’t fancy, but it’s sturdy, and it’s all mine. I enjoy being there, making the repairs myself, watching the house change. It’s one of the few concessions with money that I made, buying my home. Buying the land. It’s not easy for me to admit, but in a way the house is personal insurance on my security. I know I won’t ever be broke and homeless, because I own it outright. And there’s enough land to make a profit off any number of ventures if the need ever arose. Having money in the bank adds to security, but not like having a place that’s free and clear to call your own. I know I won’t ever end up like one of those vagrants sleeping on the front steps.”
Brandi knew it was important to him for her to understand his financial independence. And in truth, she was amazed at how well he’d succeeded given his poor start in life. He didn’t dress miserly, but neither did he wear exclusive brands or styles. His hair was kept neat—she loved his hair, so dark and straight and fine—but it wasn’t salon styled. Brandi pictured him going to a local barber, and she smiled. “It’s hard to imagine you worrying about money. You’re successful and it shows. And you’ve been so generous with me.”
He shrugged. “The dress wasn’t all that expensive, though I admit I have no idea what women’s clothes normally cost. Besides, I like seeing you in it. You look sexy as hell.”
The thudding of her heart proved how his words affected her. But it wasn’t just the compliment. It was that, in some small way, she’d succeeded in helping him overcome his reservations at needless spending. She wanted him to know he couldn’t save the world, and there was certainly no crime indulging in a few luxuries for himself. “The dress is beautiful. Probably the nicest thing I’ve ever owned.”
“If you like it, then it was worth every penny.”
She wished he could enjoy buying himself things as easily. “It’s an extravagant gift.” Then she grinned. “Especially since you were a gift, which I figured was plenty for one birthday.”
His fingers tightened on hers. “I’m glad Shay chose me as the gift, not some other man.”
“I’d have refused any other man.” It was true. She’d taken one look at Sebastian and found his charm and strength and his smile irresistible. In her heart, she’d already chosen him, and Shay was astute enough to see it. “Besides, Shay had seen my interest in you—a unique thing for me—and I’d stupidly mentioned my new plans to her.”
“Ah. I’d forgotten about that. What are these infamous plans of yours?”
Shrugging, Brandi said, “They’re not really all that complex. I just want to get on with my life. I’ve hidden away long enough, and let the past mean more than it should. It just seemed easier to go it alone than to try to get beyond the problems. Especially when the men weren’t exactly beating a path to my door. Not that I minded, since no man appealed to me anyway.”
He gave her a crooked grin. “Until you saw me.”
“Yes.”
Leaning forward slightly, his expression now serious, he said, “I’d like to help with your plans if you’ll let me.”
“Oh, Sebastian.” Impulsively, she lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed his knuckles. The action surprised him, but quickly the surprise changed to an emotion much hotter. His eyes blazed and his features tightened.
Brandi’s voice trembled in reaction to that look. “When I said you were generous, I wasn’t only talking about the dress. The dress is beautiful, and it was a wonderful gift, but you’ve given me yourself, too. You made it safe for me to find out things about myself and about lovemaking that I never would have known otherwise.”
She no sooner said the words than she felt her face heat. “What we did wasn’t exactly lovemaking, though, was it? It wasn’t a shared thing, not with you doing all the giving and me doing all the taking.”
He shook his head and his gaze held hers, not letting her look away. “Don’t think of it like that. What happened today was incredible. You were incredible. So, it’s not about me helping you. It’s about me as a man wanting you as a woman. And finding a comfortable way for us to come together.”
She wanted to believe him. But in her heart she knew a man like Sebastian would never have been here with her in the first place if the circumstances hadn’t dictated it. And once the vacation was over, she didn’t know what would happen. She felt almost desperate at the thought of never seeing him again.
“I wish…I wish things could be normal between us. I wish I could give you as much as you’ve given me.”
In one abrupt motion, Sebastian stood and pulled her to her feet. Startled, Brandi asked, “What are you doing?”
“I think it’s time for us to go. I have some explaining to do, and a crowded restaurant isn’t the place.”
She went willingly as he pulled her out into the night air. It hadn’t rained any more, but the air was still thick with moisture, oppressive and heavy with the threat of another storm. Once inside the rental car, he turned to her and hauled her up against his chest.
He tasted hot and urgent. When she opened her mouth, his tongue pushed in, stroking and mating with her own. It was a familiar caress now. Many times while they’d been joined on the bed, Sebastian had demanded a kiss or a touch. She’d leaned over him, willing to obey him even though he’d been restrained. She’d let him excite her with his mouth, and kissing him now excited her again.
His lips moved over her cheek, her temple, then her ear. “You’re making me crazy, honey.”
She thrilled at the feel of his warm breath in her ear, the roughness of his shadowed jaw and his use of endearments. They were a first for her, and she felt special each time he referred to her in such a way. “I’m sorry.”
He groaned. “No, don’t be. I like your unique brand of torment.” He leaned back and gazed at her, his eyes hot in the dim light, his breathing audible. “I also like being tied down and tormented by you.”
Brandi found it difficult to breathe with him looking at her so intently. “I didn’t mean to torment you.”
“God help me if you ever do mean it.”
She saw the flash of his white grin, then he kissed her again, hard and hungry. His kisses, no matter how voracious, no longer frightened her.
“Men have fantasies just as women do,” he whispered against her lips. “And I can safely say just about every male alive has fantasized being tied and helpless at the hands of a beautiful woman bent on sexual exploration. You didn’t hurt me, you pleasured me, almost more than I could bear. Just thinking about it now is making me hard as granite.”
Fascinated, Brandi remained stock-still while he kissed her once more. Her brain worked and when he lifted his mouth away, she asked, “What are your other fantasies?”
“Ah, curious, are we?”
“Yes.” She felt no embarrassment, not when he discussed things so openly and without shame. The heat of their bodies had caused the windows to steam up, and even if someone happened by, they were well hidden.