Agonize

by Xavier Neal

  She shakes back and raises her eyebrows. “I’m Lix.”

  I can verify that it’s a damn good description of her.

  “I’m not calling you that,” Erin pipes in folding her arms across her chest.

  Lex lets go of Kellar’s hand as she shrugs. “Or you can call me Mrs. Reed.”

  My friends’ jaws hit the ground.

  Shit. How did I not see her spilling the beans before me? You couldn’t have warned me?

  “I’m sorry I think the beer has gone to my head.” Luke tries to shake it off and adjusts himself to face Lex. “What did you say?”

  “The part about calling me Lix—”

  “I’m really not gonna fucking call you that.” Erin tosses her hands in the air.

  “It’s my stage name,” she starts to explain.

  “Stage name?” Erin croaks. “You married a stripper?”

  “You went to Vegas and married a stripper?” Kellar leans forward at me, both hands on the table.

  “Why does she have to be a stripper?” I pull Lex so her ass is pressed firmly against my crotch. The immediate contact has my dick stirring.

  Not a good time. I know.

  “What other stage would she be on?” Erin’s comeback is followed by C.J. tugging at her in an attempt to dial her back.

  You know Lex doesn’t look like a stripper. Well, maybe a little. But she’s still hot. And Erin looks like a Victoria’s Secret model, but she’s not, so there. Everyone doesn’t always have to be what they look like. Yes. I’m well aware I look a bit nerdy and happen to be one too.

  “I’m actually the lead vocalist in an indie rock band,” Lex responds and shuts Erin’s mouth.

  Yup. Dating a rock star. Fine. An up and coming rock star. No? Soon to be? She’s actually really popular. She played in Vegas didn’t she?

  “Lex.” I clear my throat. “Meet Luke.” He waves with his beer free hand. “C.J.” I point and he gives a two finger wave back. “Erin.” She tilts her head in a small nod. “And you’ve met Kellar. Guys, meet Lex. My wife.”

  I know the word shouldn’t make me smile as huge as I am, after all it’s a drunken favor that happens to come with the best sex I’ve ever had in my life, but it does.

  “You’ve got to be joking.” Erin shakes her brown hair again. “You got married in Vegas?”

  “How wasted were you?” Kellar chimes in.

  “He got married, genius. Doesn’t that give you your answer?” Luke tips his beer to his lips.

  Kellar leans back up and shakes his head at me, a shit eating smirk on his face, “Maxx is gonna kill you.” A small look of concern comes on my face as he smiles wider. “It’s gonna be so awesome.”

  “Why would Maxx kill you?” Lex looks just as confused as I feel.

  C.J. interrupts, “Exactly how did you two meet?”

  “His brother is old college friends with my drummer,” Lex leans over grabbing a beer out of the cooler. My eyes go straight to her ass and my head tilts.

  Can you blame me? That thing should be framed. Her jeans do a pretty damn good job of framing it actually. Why are you laughing? I’m serious.

  Clearly having missed the conversation by the time I drag my eyes back up, I notice the shit eating grin still on Kellar’s face. The mirth in his eyes has me uncomfortable.

  We have an odd friendship. I met Logan while working with his now wife, Maxx at the bar he used to fight at. They were semi-legal. Back when he was doing everything he could to deny his feelings for her, I had a hand in helping put them together. After that we started to develop a big brother, little brother kind of relationship. The one I always wanted with my own brother but never got. Let’s not talk about my actual brother, please. My parents do it enough.

  “I’ve never seen you drink that much,” Erin says snatching my attention away from Kellar.

  “I typically don’t.” I shrug as Lex tilts the beer to her lips again, her tongue licking the lingering drops the same way she does the tip of my cock.

  Is it possible to be this sex crazed? Really?

  Clearing my throat I try to focus on anything else other than my gorgeous girl’s mouth. “But it was my brother’s bachelor party. Shit happens.”

  “Mouth.” the Kid strolls out on the patio carrying plastic grocery bags. I bite back a chuckle and give Dean, who is practically my nephew, a shake of my head.

  He’s Maxx and Logan’s adopted sixteen year old. It’s a long story, but let me just say I’m proud to call him family.

  “Where’s your mom?” Kellar asks turning back around to flip something on the grill as Lex slides herself on the edge of the table next to Luke’s beer.

  “Fighting with a jar of pickles.” He tries not to laugh as he pulls out chips from the grocery bag.

  “She’s not supposed to have pickles,” Luke says to him.

  “Yeah well I tried to tell her that and she threatened to take my permit away. Sorry Uncle Luke, but that would be in direct violation of my flourishing dating life. The ultimate cock block,” Dean explains placing mustard on the cooking counter close to the grill.

  “Mouth,” Luke corrects him. When Kellar starts laughing Luke says, “I don’t think anyone in this world could question he’s yours.”

  “A little old to be yours isn’t he?” Lex pipes up leaning back on her hands, legs slightly spread, a very pornographic image painting itself in my brain.

  I’m gonna turn into Dean if she keeps making moves like that.

  “I’m adopted,” the Kid answers before his eyes dance across Lex’s flesh, a cocky smirk slipping on his lips, a mirror image of Kellar.

  So it’s a little creepy just how much they are alike.

  With a twinkle in his eye he extends his hand, “And you are beautiful.”

  “And married,” I quickly chime in as they shake hands.

  “Damn,” he mumbles.

  “Mouth,” Luke mutters shoving the beer back to his lips.

  “To who?” the Kid drops her hand and shoves his in his pocket.

  “Me,” the answer is followed by the sound of glass shattering behind me. Spinning around I see Maxx with open hands and raised eyebrows.

  Is that terror on her face?

  My jaw opens to say something, anything, but nothing comes out.

  Do you have that feeling that this is gonna be so much worse than I planned for?

  Maxx’s mocha colored hands shakily fall onto her protruding pregnant belly. In a low voice she questions, “What did you say?”

  The Kid doesn’t let me answer, “He’s married, Mom! Can you believe it? Uncle Tony got married!”

  “I’m Lex,” she leans forward and reaches out to shake hands with Maxx, who for a brief moment just stares at it before she touches it. “It’s such a pleasure to meet you finally.”

  “Finally?” Maxx drops her hand and diverts her attention back at me. “Have you been hiding her from us?”

  “No,” Lex quickly replies. “We just met the other night in Vegas.”

  Bewilderment leaps on Maxx’s face as the realization that this is heading face first into a disaster becomes more and more apparent. There are slight snickers from Erin who is covering her mouth with her hand.

  “Th-the-the other night?” The stutter has her bracing a hand on the door frame to stay upright.

  “Maxx remember you’re not supposed to stress,” Luke fusses, his inner nurse coming out.

  Did I forget to mention that the dude who looks like an overly perfected soccer player is actually a male nurse? Yeah. I hang out with people who are entirely too attractive for their own good. What? You think I look good? Thanks...I don’t hear that often.

  “She’s not stressing,” Erin tries to softly defend her.

  “She is stressing,” Luke snaps at his sister. “You know what can happen,” the eerie reminder of what took place a few months ago causes Kellar to abandon his station at the grill.

  I don’t wanna talk about it. Hell, it’s not even my place to talk about i
t. I’m still kicking my own ass for not being here to be there for her during it. I would’ve been had I just been able to tell my family no.

  “Maximus,” Kellar’s tone warns.

  Ignoring everyone else she zeroes in on me, her brown eyes I used to spend hours dreaming about looking at me the way she looks at Kellar, are now full of so much animosity I’m afraid she might go into early labor.

  Fuck. I’d never forgive myself for that.

  “Tony,” she lets out a long deep breath. “Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?”

  I shift my eyes to Lex who I’m expecting to be bothered by her reaction, by everyone’s reaction, yet instead she looks the same as she always does. Carefree. Content.

  How the hell does she do that?

  “Yeah,” I nod, turn, and do my best to step over the shattered glass.

  “Kid, why don’t you help mom out by cleaning up the glass,” Kellar suggests clearly uncomfortable by the two of us slipping inside together.

  Part of him never got over the fact that I once went after her as hard as I did. It feels like ancient history to the two of us, but occasionally it still brings out the alpha dickhead in him. Example A.

  “Yeah,” he groans. “Man, I hate pickle juice.”

  “Good,” I hear Luke start on a rant. “Do you have any idea how bad they are for you? In fact...” is the end of the sentence as I shut the glass door behind me.

  Following Maxx into the kitchen where she’s pacing back and forth between the island and the stove, I suddenly feel more nervous than I’ve ever felt before. I slide my hands into my jeans. Impatiently I wait.

  Finally she stops, slams both her hands on the counter, and yells, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”

  I stumble back thrown off by her raised voice. She’s never yelled at me. We’ve never yelled at each other. We don’t like it. And when anyone else does it to us, we don’t respond well.

  Sternly I say, “I’m not.”

  “You really married some tattooed harlot you met while wasted in Vegas?”

  “Did you really just say harlot?”

  “Last night I was reading this historical romance that took place in the 12th century,” my attempt to calm her down by distracting her with the ability to talk about books, works in my favor.

  Go ahead and make a note to self. Need to calm a book nerd down? Give them a reason to talk about one. STAT!

  With her demeanor slightly calmer she attacks again. “How could you do that? How could you just randomly marry some girl that looks like she could be Jessica Rabbit’s tattooed slutty cousin?”

  The imagery hops through my mind for a second. I shake it off. “I don’t know. I just did.”

  “You just did?”

  “That’s what I said.”

  “Are you gonna get a divorce?”

  I let the question that ran through my head on the plane, run through again now.

  Typically that’s how shit goes right? You get married thanks to Patron or Whiskey only to get divorced two days later while nursing that hangover. But I don’t want that. Marrying Lex was the craziest thing I’ve ever done. It’s been fun. She’s been fucking fun and I don’t have a lot of that just running around in my life. Besides, she needs American status like this for a bit so she doesn’t get kicked out of the country while her band is in the middle of touring. I’m doing her a HUGE favor by staying married to her. And she’s doing one by keeping my life from being so goddamn mundane.

  When I don’t answer Maxx snaps again, “You can’t be fucking serious about this!”

  I shrug my shoulders.

  “Are you still drunk right now?”

  “What’s the big deal, Maxx? So I got drunk and had a little fun—”

  “No, Tony! Getting drunk and having a little fun would be getting your tongue pierced not marrying someone! And then staying married! This is insane. It’s wrong! It’s—”

  “My fucking choice, Maxx,” I abruptly cut off her tangent. “My love life is my choice. Just like yours is yours. I stood by you when you chose Kellar over me. I stood by you when you two played your stupid little games. I stood by you as your best fucking friend when you made the choice to marry him and have his kid. Because that’s what best friends do no matter if we think what you’re doing is right or wrong. Now why can’t you do that for me?”

  “Because....” the end of her sentence seems to get lost as she backs away from the counter where her hands were planted. Shaking her head slowly she shrugs, “Because...because she’s not right for you. That’s not your kind of girl, Tony.”

  Anger rushes through me. “Why? Because she’s not you Maxx?” Her mouth tightens and I see a lump form in her throat. “Because I’m not her second choice? Because I don’t have to fight another asshole for her to see me? Is the problem really she’s not my type of girl or is it simply you just weren’t ready to let me go as your back up plan?”

  When I see a tear hit Maxx’s cheek, the damage of what I’ve just said kicks me in the nuts.

  Shit...why didn’t you stop me before I got too far? Before I said shit just to be spiteful. Damn it. Be a better friend here!

  “Max-a-roo,” my nickname for her spills from my lips as tears do from her eyes. “I—”

  “Please tell me you bought another jar of pickles,” Kellar’s voice interrupts coming around the corner. “I wanna eat like four of ‘em in Luke’s face.” His childish chuckle disappears when his eyes settle on his girl.

  Fuck. He gets caveman stupid over her. He threatened to bash some guy’s face in the other day for staring at Maxx’s boobs in a slightly low cut shirt while waiting in line for the movies.

  “Maximus,” his nickname for her falls out as she wipes away a dropped tear. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?”

  “I’m fine,” she answers in a rocky tone.

  “You’re not fine,” he counters before eyeing me wearily. “Maxx—”

  “I’m gonna lie down.” She heads towards the set of stairs that loop around the back of their kitchen closest to where their wooden kitchen table is.

  “I thought you were hungry.” Logan folds his arms across his chest.

  “I thought I was too. Apparently, eating was my second choice...” her stab at me is the last words she says before disappearing up the staircase.

  The two of us wait in silence until we’re fairly certain Maxx is gone, which is when Logan grins like an asshole at me. Not in the mood to deal with him and his antics I snap, “What?”

  “It’s just so nice to see the shoe on the other foot.” His grin gets bigger.

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means, it’s nice to see Maxx mad at you for once instead of me.”

  “But how—”

  “I know the look.” He points a finger at me. “There’s a very distinct look that people get when Maxx is pissed off at them. I had never seen yours. Now I have.” My head falls back as I stare up at the ceiling. “Cheer up, man. She’ll cool off and forgive you for whatever jackass thing you said. Eventually.”

  If only he knew what I just said, he might not be so quick to say that. Hell, if he knew he might use those MMA professionally trained fists to beat my face in. Let’s not tell him okay?

  “Let’s eat,” he instructs while turning to walk back to the patio where it looks like they started without us.

  C.J. and Erin are still on the couch, her legs swung over his as she tries to stay clean while eating a hot dog and he picks food off her plate. Luke has moved to the head of the rectangular table. He has on his plate a hamburger cut in half with a side salad. Dean is shoving a hot dog down his throat beside Luke and Lex. I sit down opposite of Luke beside the woman who is making big waves in my life. As soon as I’m in my seat her hand glides across my thigh.

  I wasn’t even away from her long and I missed her touch. This....might turn into a problem.

  “Where’s mom?” Dean’s muffled voice asks, hotdog bun
crumbs tumbling out.

  “That is disgusting,” Luke shifts over. “You know better than to talk with your mouth full.”

  “Yes. You know Uncle Luke’s head spins right ‘round when the etiquette rules he learned from the queen aren’t followed precisely,” Erin mocks her brother while the rest of us laugh.

  Before Luke can make a comeback Kellar answers the Kid, “She wasn’t feeling well.”

  “Finding out your best friend married a stripper in Vegas can do that.” Erin pipes up.

  “She’s not a fucking stripper,” I snap and Lex squeezes my thigh with a playful grin.

  “I was kidding Sally Sensitive...” She rolls her eyes. “For your information I actually like Lex’s band.”

  “Really?” Bewilderment shows on my face.

  “Yeah. They sing that song ‘All Dark’.” Erin wipes mustard off her lips.

  “Wait. That’s you?” The confusion remains. Lex giggles and nods as she continues to eat.

  “Wait. How did you not know that’s her band?” Kellar looks at me with a scolding look before shoving a burger in his mouth.

  “That’s probably not the microphone he’s seen her sing in.” Erin’s dirty jokes have Lex tossing her head back in laughter while my face starts to heat.

  Don’t laugh. My sex life isn’t supposed to be the subject of fucking dinner.

  “He was a little tipsy when we first met and we haven’t done much talking since,” Lex licks her lips at me before wiggling her eyebrows.

  “You guys do know the Kid is at the table,” Luke reprimands.

  “Uncle Luke sex is a perfectly natural subject for me to hear about,” the Kid chuckles grabbing another handful of chips. “And if you wanna describe details or give suggestions, who am I to stop you?”

  While most of us laugh Luke rubs his temple. “Wasn’t dealing with a sixteen year old Kellar once enough? Now I gotta relive it?”

  “Hey!” Kellar interrupts after swallowing a bite. “I wasn’t the only one horny then. You were more than willing to help me get my hands in places if there was a chance your hands might end up in some too. Don’t listen to him, Kid.” With an amused expression he finishes, “I was some trouble—”