by Nikki Carter
Ricky’s face bursts into a smile. “Cool!”
Ha!!! Tracy doesn’t want it with me!
We all ride the subway and walk a few blocks to this hip warehouse-type spot. It’s huge and has three levels all for our partying pleasure.
As we stand in line, Ricky and Xavier hang back like they’re not really with our group. I don’t know what that’s about, but it probably has something to do with the mean side-eye combinations coming from both me and Tracy.
Once we’re on the inside, and there’s tons of people around, Ricky taps me on the shoulder and pulls me to the side. “Where’s your friend?” he asks.
“Rashad? Don’t know. Didn’t invite him.”
“You do know I’m definitely not on a date with Tracy.”
I nod. “I understood it the first time you said it. Anything else?”
“You look good.”
Dang my hide! Why am I smiling? I’m supposed to be punishing him with indifference! “Thanks. You too,” I reply, totally against my will.
“So you want to dance?”
I give Ricky a mischievous grin. “No, but it looks like Tracy does.”
“Wow! Okay, Gia. I’m-a get back at you later.”
“Holla!”
Melody and Sienna run up on me as Ricky walks away.
“Did he ask you to dance with him?” Melody asks.
“Yes.”
“Then why are you still standing here?”
“Because he can’t play me and get away with it. I don’t roll like that.”
Okay, so that’s only partially true. I will not allow Ricky to play me. No how, no way. But the real reason why I didn’t dance with him is because these ankle boots are pinching the hades out of my toes.
It’s not easy being a fashion icon.
8
I’m doing a countdown to my date tonight with Rashad. I could barely keep my attention on my classes this week because all I could think about was holding hands with Rashad or kissing Rashad. That’s all bad. What’s worse is that I haven’t been thinking about Ricky. Not as much as I should.
I don’t think I’m a player. I think I’m a one-guy kinda girl. And that one guy I’m digging right now is Rashad.
I’m sitting in the computer lab at our dorm uploading pictures to Facebook. Most of the pictures are of me and Rashad hanging out in New York. A couple are from our first night in Times Square, and some are of Melody and Sienna.
As soon as I post, Hope starts instant messaging me.
Hope: Who is that cutie in the pictures?
Me: Which one?
Hope: The one with the locs.
Me: That’s Rashad.
Hope: The dude you were telling me about?
Me: Yes.
Hope: Ricky is in trouble. That dude is all up on you in half those pictures.
Me: He is, isn’t he?
Hope: Ricky called me.
Me: What? What is he calling you for?
Hope: He didn’t want me to tell you.
Me: So why did you even tell me he called?
Hope: You know I can’t keep a secret, Gia.
Me: That’s what I’m counting on.
Hope: Shut up! I’m really not telling you now.
Me: Well, then, change the subject. What’s up with Kev and Candy?
Hope: The same. I think Kevin has decided to marry Candy. He told her they were courting.
Me: ROFL. You know when Kevin pulls out words like courting, it’s all bad.
Hope: That’s what I thought.
Me: Well, I gotta go.
Hope: Why?
Me: I have a date.
Hope: A date? With Rashad?
Me: Yep.
Hope: Gia, I’m praying against that player spirit you’ve got.
Me: N E Way…
Hope: Gia, you need to decide what you really want.
Me: Okay. Holla.
I log off the computer and think for a second about what Hope said. Yes, I would like to decide what I really want. But do I know what I really want? Not when it comes to crushes, I don’t. I knew I really wanted to have fun this summer, and so far I’m doing that—just not with Ricky.
I look at myself in the mirror before I leave for my date. I’m wearing hip-hugger jeans and a baby tee. Kinda casual and glam at the same time. I thought about wearing some cute shoes, but Rashad loves walking, so sneakers it is.
I rush down the hall to the elevator because I’m trying not to run into Melody and Sienna. I think they went to a party, but better safe than sorry. They are all up in my bidness lately, and I can’t be sure they’re not taking stuff back to Ricky.
Speaking of Ricky, guess who’s standing in the elevator as the doors open? Yep. Mr. Ricky Ricardo himself. For a split second, I consider taking the stairs, but that would just be too crazy, especially since Ricky is holding the door-open button.
“Hey, Gia.”
“Hey.”
“How are your classes so far?”
“Fine.” I give him a serious eye roll. Is that all he can think to ask me? Boo!
“Are we not talking?”
I shrug. “You’re the one who wanted to check me, Ricky. You tell me.”
“I didn’t check you.”
“You’re right. You didn’t check me, but you tried.”
“Gia, why are you playing games? You know how I feel about you.”
“No, I don’t, Ricky. One day you’re kissing my cheek and giving me butterfly clips, and the next you’re saying, ‘Let’s put crushes on hold.’ I think I know how you feel, but you change from day to day.”
“And you don’t?”
“Not like you. No.”
“So tell me then, where are you going right now?”
I pause for a second. What point does me going out with Rashad prove? That I like having fun?
It definitely doesn’t prove anything about me being flaky. Because that I am not. This is all Ricky’s fault. If he had been true to me from the start, I wouldn’t have thought twice about Rashad.
I decide not to answer Ricky’s question because I can show him better than I can tell him.
Rashad is having a conversation with some other kids when I walk up but immediately stops talking when he sees me. Ricky keeps walking, but I don’t miss the stank look he throws my direction.
“Hey, Princess. You ready?”
I nod because I can’t speak. I have a huge knot in my throat, and I feel like I could burst into tears at any second. I hate that Ricky being mad at me makes me feel like this. Why can’t I be like a regular girl and have a different crush every month without a thought?
This is way too stressful.
It’s like my heart hurts or something. Ricky is my best friend, and we just keep arguing. Does this mean we’re not friends anymore if we can’t get along?
Or maybe he’s changing. Maybe I’m changing. Maybe we’re both changing.
“Are we going on the subway?” I ask.
“No. It’s just a short walk. Is that cool?”
“Yes.”
It feels really strange spending time with Rashad alone at night. Is it my imagination, or is Rashad bumping into me on purpose? He’s walking so close to me his arm keeps brushing my arm. We’re not talking, but I suppose it’s because I haven’t said one word after hello. I’m not in a chatty mood.
“We’re here,” Rashad says.
Here is a tiny coffeehouse. We go inside, and the first thing I notice is the lack of tables and chairs. There are lots of sofas, love seats, beanbags, and pillows instead. In the front of the coffeehouse, a tiny girl with a head full of wild braids stands with a microphone in her hand.
“Come on.” Rashad pulls me over to a wicker couch covered with pillows. “She’s about to start.”
We sit down, and the lights dim. Rashad politely leaves space between us. Yeah, I appreciate him for that. We’re not up to the snuggling stage yet.
A big voice comes out of the little girl.
�
�He loves me.
I can tell by his smile.
He loves me not
’Cause he smiles at her and her too….
His eyes, his walk
His gangsta street talk
Leave me mesmerized
Entranced
By his steez, his stance.
His love is life
And I wanna see him in mine.
I tell him I love him a thousand times
I love him
Ain’t met another like him
I love him not
’Cause yesterday…I met his other girlfriend.”
The girl smiles and bows like she didn’t just say the angriest poem I’ve ever heard. As a matter of fact, I think that was the angriest poem on the planet.
I don’t know how or when it happened, but somehow I ended up sitting close to Rashad on the little couch. He’s not trying to push up or anything, but I can feel the warmth of his arm as it brushes against me.
Could I be digging Rashad like this and still be crushing on Ricky at the same time? I don’t even know the rules for multiple crushes. Like, if the two guys are friends, does it make it worse?
Not that Ricky and Rashad are anywhere close to being friends, but what if at some point they got to be cool? Then what?
After the poetry set is over, we take our time walking back to the dorm. Rashad slips his arm around my waist, and I don’t object.
“You’re smooth, Rashad. You know that, right?”
He chuckles. “What?”
“Nothing. It’s cool.”
I’m enjoying all this attention I’m getting from Rashad. I really am. So why, why, why did it just cross my mind how nice it would be if it were Ricky’s arm around me?
I untangle myself from Rashad as I walk into the dorm.
“What? You don’t want your boy to see us hugged up?” Rashad asks.
“Wow. You calling me out, huh?”
“Yeah, I’m calling you out.”
“Well, the thing is I don’t want to hurt Ricky’s feelings if I don’t have to, you know. I’m just trying to be a friend.”
Rashad nods slowly. “Would Ricky be mad about this?”
Rashad pulls me into his arms and kisses the top of my forehead.
“Maybe.”
“Would he be mad about this?”
I close my eyes as Rashad presses his lips into mine. It’s nice. So nice that I don’t care who sees us right about now. Not even Ricky.
He pulls away first. “Good night, Gia.”
“Night.”
My lips are still tingling when I walk into my room.
The tingling stops when I notice Sienna sprawled across Melody’s bed again.
“Gia, I’m so glad you’re back. Can you help me try to wake her up?”
“Wake her up? Why is she asleep in our room?”
“We went to a hotel party for Dan’s producer, and they had lots of alcohol. I think she had too much to drink.”
“Ya think?”
Melody sighs. “Gia, just help me get her to her own room. It’s almost curfew, and I don’t want her to get in trouble.”
I try to help Melody lift Sienna. The girl is kinda thick, so it’s not an easy task.
I ask, “Are you sure she just had alcohol? I’ve never heard of someone being this gone. She’s completely unconscious. Maybe we should tell somebody. What if she has alcohol poisoning?”
“Gia, she’ll be fine. She just needs to sleep it off. If we tell, she’s gonna get kicked out of the program.”
“I don’t know, Melody. Won’t we get in trouble if we don’t tell?”
“She’s got scholarship money riding on this, Gia.”
“Okay, come on then.”
We finally get her to stand up, but we’re practically dragging her because her legs aren’t moving on their own.
Halfway down the hall, we run into Ricky and Sushil.
“What are y’all doing?” Ricky asks.
“Trying to get Sienna to her room before an RA sees us.”
“Is she drunk?” Sushil asks.
“Shil—come on!”
Between the four of us—mostly the boys—we get Sienna to her room. Finally, as her roommate opens the door, Sienna wakes up and vomits all over the floor.
I close my eyes and gag. “I gotta go, Melody. I don’t do vomit.”
Ricky, Sushil, and I abandon Melody as she cleans up Sienna’s mess. I mean, what is the whole point of getting drunk if throwing up is part of the deal? How is that fun?
“Gia, we’re going to see the Statue of Liberty tomorrow. Wanna come?” Sushil asks.
I look at Ricky. “Do you want me to come?”
He shrugs. “I don’t care if you come.”
“You want her to come, Ricky. Stop trying to be cantankerous,” Sushil fusses.
Cantankerous? Okay, Sushil is officially the summertime version of Kevin.
“We want you to come, Gia,” Sushil continues. “Just you and maybe Melody, but not…”
I narrow my eyes. “Not Rashad?”
“I’m sure he’s seen it already,” Ricky says. “It’ll be okay.”
“Okay, I’ll go. What time?”
Sushil says, “In the morning. We have to get there early, or we’ll be in line forever and not be able to get a ticket to go inside the statue.”
“All right then, see y’all tomorrow.”
So I guess Ricky hasn’t given up on our friendship. So guess what? I’m not giving up on him either.
But Sushil…umm, yeah. He can go on with his oldie talk.
9
Somebody should’ve told me that by “early,” Sushil meant the crack-of-dawn, before-the-sun-comes-up early. I am so not amused at the wake-up call I receive at 6:30 AM that jars me out of a great dream. Rashad and I were sailing on one of those water streets in Italy on a little boat. For some reason, my friend Kevin was the one driving the boat, and he was mean-mugging me the entire ride.
Unenthusiastically, I pull myself out of the bed and start searching for an outfit. It’s going to be jean shorts and layered tank tops today. It’s hot as what! The weatherman said it was gonna be in the nineties for a week!
“What are you doing, Gia?” Melody asks. She peers at me through sleepy, angry eyes.
“I’m getting ready to go see the Statue of Liberty.”
“With Rashad?”
“No. With Ricky. Sushil and Xavier are coming too.”
“Oh. I asked because Sienna’s roommate saw you kissing Rashad in the lobby last night. I thought you two must’ve made it official or something.”
I roll my eyes. “Ooo, y’all really need to get some business! How is it that your girl was passed out drunk, but y’all found time to talk about my situation?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry, Gia.”
She gives me this pitiful look that makes me think she really is sorry. Now I feel bad for going in on her like that.
“It’s cool, Melody. You wanna hang with us today? I’m not trying to be the only girl with all those hardheads.”
“Yeah, I do. I’ve seen the Statue of Liberty, but it’s still fun.”
“We don’t roll VIP style like Sienna though. Is that okay with you?”
“All that VIP stuff is not all it’s cracked up to be.”
“We’ve got to get ready quickly because Sushil is tripping.”
Melody throws her covers back. “Okay. I’m up.”
Melody and I get ready as quickly as humanly possible for two fabulous girls. Okay, so it takes us about an hour.
We meet up with the boys in the lobby of our dormitory. We all look sleepy, hungry, and grumpy.
Ricky has the audacity to be wearing the Tennessee Titans jersey I bought him for Christmas last year. He wears it well too. That powder blue looks extra nice on him. Plus his low haircut is fresh and clean too. All-around good look.
Felicity, our favorite resident adviser, is in the lobby too, looking like her usual bubbly self. “Where
are you guys off to this morning?” she asks.
“Statue of Liberty,” Sushil says. His tone is extra impatient.
“There were reports last night of some people coming into the dorm intoxicated,” Felicity says. “I’m not going to ask if you guys know anything about it, but please remember the conduct code you signed.”
We all nod in agreement. Melody looks completely terrified, like she’s gonna crack and spill the beans any second. I don’t think Sienna’s secret is safe with her.
We walk toward the subway station, but Melody and I let the boys go ahead of us. Melody still has a concerned look on her face, like she wants to talk.
“I wonder if Sienna is awake,” I say out loud.
“I’m sure she’s not. She was way gone last night. I think she took something else, or someone slipped something in her drink.”
“Are you serious? Why didn’t you tell me about that last night?”
Melody bites her lip and sighs. “Because I thought you would want to tell if you knew the whole story.”
“You’re right. I would’ve.”
Ricky jogs back to me and Melody, and he links arms with me. What’s up with this? Ricky is one hundred percent against random public displays of affection.
“How was your date with Rashad?” he asks.
Weird! How do I answer a question from one crush about my date with my other crush? Yes, a ridiculous concept indeed. Crushes are not allowed to inquire about one another. “It was fine, Ricky.”
“Did you make out?”
“Ricky!”
He bursts into nervous laughter. Melody gives us both a mad dose of side eye and skips up to talk to Xavier and Sushil. I guess she wants to give us some space, but I don’t even know if I want any space with this crazy-acting Ricky.
“I’m messing with you, Gia,” Ricky says.