by Nikki Carter
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you messing with me?”
“Because you’re my bestie, and I can.”
“Oh.”
“Have you thought about senior year, Gia?”
“What about senior year?”
“You know. Homecoming, prom, graduation.”
“Oh, that stuff. Yeah, I know it’s coming, but I can’t say I’ve been thinking about it.”
“Well, I have,” Ricky says.
The tone in his voice concerns me. He’s serious all of a sudden, and all traces of the laughter he had a few minutes ago have disappeared.
“I was planning on doing all that stuff together,” Ricky continues. “Me and you.”
“I guess I was too. What’s changed?”
“Gia, I don’t think I can go back to where we were if I have to spend all summer looking at you and Rashad all booed up.”
“We are not booed up, Ricky. You’re so exaggerating.”
Ricky crosses his arms over his chest and scrunches his eyebrows down. He only does this when he’s mad.
“Gia, you had his tongue down your throat right in the dorm lobby where everyone could see you.”
“There you go exaggerating again. His tongue was not down my throat.”
“But you were kissing though.”
“We kissed. Once. It wasn’t all like that though, Ricky, and I sure didn’t plan anything like that.”
Ricky has a hurt look on his face, like I’ve just completely torn him up. He doesn’t continue the conversation though, because we’ve caught up with the others at the subway station.
I feel sad that Ricky is hurt right now. For real. And now I’m back thinking about what Hope asked me. What do I really want?
I do want for senior year to be hot! And I’m pretty sure I want it to be all about Ricky and me. But the summer is shaping up to be all about Rashad and Gia.
I’ve never met another boy like Rashad. He’s completely intellectual and still fly all at the same time. He’s so much more mature than Ricky and Kevin and all the other boys I know. I’m afraid if I spend the whole summer getting close to Rashad, all my feelings for Ricky are going to fade away.
The feelings are still there. I can’t deny that, even as I watch Ricky dash through the subway car doors and slam into a seat. He’s so fine and comfortable. Like, I don’t have to second-guess myself with Ricky.
I steal another glance at Ricky, who’s sitting across from me on the train. He seems to be daydreaming now, staring into space and biting his bottom lip in that cute way he does when he’s thinking hard.
My hand goes up to touch where Ricky kissed me on my cheek. I still remember how strange and wonderful it felt. But it didn’t compare to the rush I got when Rashad kissed me. It might not be a fair comparison though. A peck on the cheek and a mouth-to-mouth are two totally different things.
And Ricky would never put his lips on mine without my permission.
“What are you thinking about, Ricky?” I ask.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
Melody laughs out loud. “Duh! Isn’t that why she asked?”
“I know! Get him straight, Melody,” I say with a laugh.
Ricky replies, “Actually, I’m thinking about how I should still be sleeping right now. Sushil!”
“You all will definitely thank me when you see how long we won’t have to wait in line.” Is it just me, or does Sushil’s accent get even more clipped and short when he’s irritated? Methinks he doesn’t like being called out.
Xavier says, “Did y’all eat breakfast? I’m starved.”
“We didn’t eat, but you ate two bagels with cream cheese and jelly on the way out, Xavier,” Sushil replies.
Xavier scoffs. “That was not breakfast! That was a prebreakfast snack.”
As they chat, my mind drifts to a vision of senior prom. Ricky and I and Hope and Kevin and their dates are all in our formal attire, about to get in our limo. We start to take pictures, but when I step up to pose with Ricky, out of nowhere another girl in a prom dress steps up. She has a bodacious body and long hair that cascades over her shoulders. She looks like a real-life video vixen. She puckers her lips and kisses Ricky’s cheek, and he cheeses hard, like he’s really digging her.
Yes, my imagination is off the chain. But was it really my imagination, or did I just have one of those That’s So Raven visions of the future?
I roll my eyes at Ricky as we stand to get off the subway car at the South Ferry stop. He puts both his hands in the air like he’s asking What?
I narrow my eyes and glare. “You know what you did.”
Ricky laughs. “Gia, you are a weirdy.”
“Whatever, dude.”
Sushil is the leader of this expedition. We follow him through Battery Park to the ticket counter for the Circle Line ferry that will take us to see the statue and Ellis Island. It’s only nine in the morning, and people are already lining up for the ferry.
Sushil points to where we have to stand in line. “The line isn’t very long yet, but in an hour or so it will be crazy. You’ll be thanking me for getting you up so early.”
Xavier pats his stomach. “My stomach does not agree. It said it would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”
All this talk about food from Xavier is making me hungry too. As we stand in line waiting for our turn, the smells of warm cashews tickle my nose.
“Don’t you want some cashews, Gia?” Xavier asks. “I can see the longing in your eyes. I recognize hunger anywhere.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, Xavier. I’ll split some with you.”
“Gia, take a picture of us!” Melody yells. She, Sushil, and Ricky are posing with a person dressed up like the Statue of Liberty.
I take the picture of them with my phone, but I can’t stop thinking about Ricky and the imaginary girl. How could he play me like that, even in my imagination?
Yeah, yeah. I am somewhat playing him with Rashad, but that’s totally different. I didn’t deliberately start liking Rashad. It just kinda happened.
And, honestly, even though at the present time Ricky is getting on my nerves, I’m still crushing on him too. Especially when he wears clothes I purchased. Dang him and that Titans jersey.
Melody interrupts my thoughts. “So, next Friday there’s going to be this huge party for Dan Tropez at the Oasis. A lot of record producers and artists are gonna be there. Jay-Z is even supposed to show up.”
I lift my eyebrow and stare Melody down. “I’m not trying to go to one of his parties.”
“Did you say Jay-Z was gonna be at this party?” Ricky asks.
“He’s supposed to be there. That’s what Sienna says.”
“Well, then, I’m going. That sounds like it’s gonna be jumping.”
I laugh. “Ricky, you’re kicking it hard up here aren’t you? I never knew you partied so hard?”
“Stop trying to make me out to be lame. And you know you wanna go too. Because wherever Jay-Z is…”
“I know. Ms. House of Deréon herself!” I say with a grin.
Truth, I stan hard for Beyoncé. Any time Mrs. Carter and her husband are part of the conversation, I’m down. I can’t stand Ricky for bringing that up, though.
“Sienna says she can get us all in the VIP suite too,” Melody says.
“Is she still with Dan? How is she getting us in the VIP suite if he’s leaving parties with other chicks?”
“That’s just how they do. They fight, break up, and then get back together,” Melody explains. “But she got VIP tickets from him a couple nights ago.”
“You down or what, Gia?” Ricky asks.
“I guess so, if you’re going. You know, we haven’t made up a dance step in a long time. You want to?” I ask Ricky.
“Not to a Beyoncé song, Gia. I see the gleam in your eyes. No, no, and guess what? No.”
I grab Ricky’s arm as we board the ferry. “Not just any Beyoncé song, Ricky. How about
‘Ego’?”
“I am not the kind of guy who dances to ‘Ego,’ Gia. You know this.”
“So what song do you wanna do?”
Ricky giggles. “How ’bout ‘99 Problems’?”
“Uh, no. Stop playing.”
“Why don’t we just put together some moves that can go on any song with a tight beat?”
“Okay, I’m down with that.”
I lean back in my seat, cheesing hard and thinking of a fly routine, because that’s what I do. Ricky leans back too and puts his arm around me, which is kind of tough to do on this boat that’s jam-packed with tourists.
This is the side of me Rashad doesn’t know about. He has met the scholar, poetry-reading Gia. But will he dig the Beyoncé-lovin’, hard-dancing Gia?
“Come on, let’s go stand out on the deck and look at the water!” Ricky says after we’ve left the dock.
“Okay.”
Ricky takes me by the hand and leads me out onto the crowded deck. He finds an opening on one of the rails, and we slide right in. Even though it’s hot, there’s a nice breeze blowing off the water, and it feels great.
“Finally, I’ve got you all to myself,” Ricky says.
I laugh. “You don’t mean that, Ricky. You act like we haven’t been alone before.”
“I guess I never felt threatened before.”
“And you do now?”
Ricky nods. “Yeah, I do. I mean, I’m not trying to tell you who to be friends with, Gia.”
“I know you’re not.”
“But you are digging Rashad?”
I close my eyes and nod. “I do like him, Ricky. But my mom always tells me we’re too young to like only one person.”
“So you would be cool if I started hanging out with somebody else too?”
“Of course I wouldn’t be cool with it. I’d feel like you feel about me and Rashad. But I wouldn’t throw away our friendship because of it.”
I guess Ricky is forgetting about how I watched him drool for a whole year over Valerie. I put all my crush feelings on the back burner and even helped him out. I talked to Romeo during that time, but my heart was always with Ricky.
“So you’re gonna keep kicking it with him?”
“Yes, but I promise you we’re not doing anything crazy. And I won’t be making out or hooking up with him either.”
“You gonna let him kiss you again?”
I point out across the water. “Look! It’s the Statue of Liberty!”
“Whoa! It’s huge in real life!”
Thank God for the interruption. I don’t even know if I can enjoy Rashad kissing me anymore with Ricky throwing shade and a ridiculous guilt trip. That’s not even fair.
The ferry stops, and we all get off. Sushil, Xavier, and Melody race toward the statue, while Ricky and I hang back and take our time. It almost feels like we’re on a date, but I don’t get that weird feeling like I’m playing Rashad.
As we get to the base of the statue, I’m in awe of how huge it is. The sun beams down on it and shines in a green metallic splendor. Pretty awesome.
“I’m writing about this in my sightseeing journal,” I say as Ricky snaps a photo of the statue.
“What the heck is a sightseeing journal?” asks Xavier, who’s just walked up holding a stick with some kind of meat on it.
“It’s for my creative writing class,” I reply. “Our teacher wants us to see, feel, hear, smell, and taste New York City.”
Xavier scrunches his nose. “I don’t know about smelling New York. Sometimes the Big Apple don’t smell so fresh. But taste! That I can roll with. You wanna taste my chicken?”
He holds the hot, steaming meat in my face, and I back away. “Boy, I don’t want any of that meat.”
“Yeah, get your chicken out of her face, dude,” Ricky says.
“Ex-cuuuse me! I’m just being hospitable. Wait a minute, is that custard I see? I’m-a holla at y’all later.”
“I’m surprised he’s not extra large.”
“I know, right.”
Ricky points at Sushil taking pictures. “I wonder why Shil didn’t bring his girl.”
“Sushil has a boo?”
“Kinda. Why? You aren’t jealous, are you?”
“Well, he is kinda cute in a Mohinder-from-Heroes sorta way.”
“I don’t like you right now, Gia.”
“It’s okay. I promise I don’t believe you.”
Melody and Sushil walk up with their cameras still out.
“I want a picture of you two,” Melody says.
Ricky grabs me by the waist and pulls me close. He wraps his arms around me from behind and rests his head on my shoulder.
“Aw, that’s a cute pic,” Melody says.
She brings her camera over to show it to me. It is a cute shot. Ricky and I look adorable, and you can see the statue in the background.
“This is fun, Sushil!” I say. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“You are welcome, Gia, but the tour was Ricky’s idea. He just wanted me to ask you.”
Ricky shakes his head. “Thanks, Shil. You are a true homey.”
I ask Ricky, “Why didn’t you just invite me?”
“Didn’t want to hear you tell me no.”
This makes me sad. I have to swallow a few times to keep from getting choked up. When did me and Ricky get to this place? A place where we can’t even invite each other to hang or just chill without having to talk about crushes?
10
“Come on, you guys. It’s Saturday night. Where are we kicking it?” Sienna asks as we eat dinner in Lerner Hall.
“I’m surprised you even want to kick it, Sienna,” I reply. “You were a hot mess last night when you came in. We had to drag your intoxicated behind back to your dorm.”
“Oh, yeah, I meant to thank you for that, Gia. I think someone put something in my punch, for real.”
Melody glances at the floor. “Do you remember anything from last night? Because we got separated for a while.”
“I remember talking to Dan’s boy Emerge about singing something on some background tracks in the studio.”
“You can sing?” I ask. “I didn’t know that.”
“That’s actually how I met Dan. I sang at this karaoke thing here last summer, and a talent scout came up to me and started a conversation.”
Melody clears her throat. “Back to what I asked you. Do you remember anything about what happened after that?”
“It’s all good. I’m cool.”
“Dan left the party, Sienna,” Melody says. “With a girl. I thought you two were fighting or something.”
Sienna’s eyes widen. “What do you mean he left with a girl?”
Melody slaps herself in the head. “I shouldn’t have told you that. You don’t remember any of it, do you?”
“Well, all boys are players.”
“I don’t believe that,” Melody says.
Sienna continues: “Yes, they are. Even Goody Two-shoes like Rashad.”
“I don’t think Rashad is a player,” I say.
Melody replies, “He kinda is.”
Sienna nods. “Right. Remember those two girls last year who got kicked out for fighting?”
“Yeah. They were fighting over Rashad. I guess he was kicking it with both of them on the low, and they both found out. It was all bad.”
“Are you kidding me? Rashad doesn’t seem like the player type.”
Melody and Sienna look at each other with weird looks on their faces, like they want to laugh.
“What?” I ask, now feeling the anger rise in my gut.
Melody replies, “Rashad has been known to be a little bit messy when it comes to that, Gia. He likes girls. What can I say?”
My head is spinning right now. There is no way the guy I know is a player. Absolutely no way. He’s one hundred percent into me, which is why I’m having a hard time with this love-triangle scenario. “Is he dating more than one girl this year?” I ask, not really wanting to know the answer.
Melody shrugs. “You’re the only one I’ve heard about so far. But last year he was supposedly hooking up with those two girls. That’s why they were ready to throw down.”
“They were stupid. I’m not about to let a boy get me kicked out of the program,” Sienna says. “I’m not letting anything get me kicked out. My mom would go ballistic.”
She thinks her mom would go ballistic? If I got kicked out of this program for anything that might be embarrassing to my mother, she would probably separate my head from the rest of my body, and that’s real talk.
“So, Gia and Ricky are making up a dance step for the party next weekend,” Melody announces.
“Can y’all dance?” Sienna asks.
“We can do a little something.”
Sienna bursts into laughter. “Y’all be like that movie Stomp the Yard, don’t y’all? I can see you dancing all hard, Gia.”
“I said I can do a little something. Is that hateration I hear in your voice? Don’t make me bring it to you on the dance floor, sweetie.”
“You can bring it if you want!” Sienna says between laughs. “I won’t be there though. I don’t dance. I stand on the side and watch other girls sweat their hairstyle out.”
Melody chimes in. “Exactly. I’m not getting frizzed out trying to look like Ciara in a music video. No, thank you.”
“So y’all just go to parties to look cute?” I ask.
Sienna nods. “Exactly. How do you think we meet the hottest boys? They don’t be on y’all hard-dancing girls.”
I ponder this theory for a second, and I have to disagree. My best friend in my head, Beyoncé, is the hardest-dancing girl ever. And she got the industry’s finest to change her last name. They don’t know what they’re talking about!
“Well, I like to dance, so I’m-a do me. How ’bout that?”
Melody says, “I have never seen Rashad dancing. I don’t think he’s on that.”
“You’re right,” Sienna adds, “but he doesn’t even go to the parties, so he won’t see Gia there getting her stomp on.”
I give both of them the hand. “Y’all don’t know me! I don’t change for boys. They either like what they see, or they can bounce. For real.”
“Calm down, Gia. We’re just messing with you,” Sienna says.