The People’s Republic of Desire

by Annie Wang

  56 In Search of Mr. Right

  Finding Mr. Right always takes time. It can be a tough decision when there are so many men to choose from. Each of my girlfriends has a different personality and outlook on life. Beibei loves to dominate men, so she prefers younger men who worship her (at least on the surface). CC finds only white men attractive and doesn't click with Asian men. Lulu loves the artsy macho type of man. I always seem to pay attention to reserved, low-key men who aren't obsessed with trying to act tough or show off how much money they have.

  Lulu invites us to have drinks at Buddha's Bar near Beihai Park on Saturday night. After we order bubble tea and almond cookies, Lulu takes several cards out of her purse. Each has detailed notes on men she recently met. She passes the cards to Beibei. Beibei takes a bite of almond cookie and reads the notes aloud.

  "Candidate No. 1: International lawyer based in Beijing. Late thirties, handsome, intelligent, Yale-educated, witty, worldly, preppy, narcissistic, talented in bed, a womanizer with a bad temper. American.

  "Candidate No. 2: Self-made billionaire from Shenzhen. Owns several real estate businesses, middle-school education, married but will divorce soon, generous, honest, tough, stubborn, swears a lot, bald, smoker, has a big belly.

  "Candidate No. 3: Banker from New York. Between thirty-seven to forty-five, pale, ordinary-looking, a graduate of MIT, gentlemanly, respects women, hard-working, divorced, two children, a good listener, a wonderful cook, boring, no hobbies, can't ski or swim.

  "Candidate No. 4: Scientist. Thirty-something, meek, honest, caring, loving, sensitive, balanced, into outdoor activities, introverted, not ambitious, and never gets angry.

  "Candidate No. 5: Art professor. Model looks, romantic, passionate, intelligent, knowledgeable, interesting, emotionally traumatized by previous relationship, unstable, and schizophrenic."

  "Give me some advice!" Lulu begs us.

  Knowing Lulu's weaknesses too well, Beibei says immediately: "I vote out No. 5. Better not deal with emotional disasters. They can destroy your sanity."

  I dismiss No. 2 right away. "You don't need to marry money. Without a rich guy, you can live comfortably as a professional woman. You need men of taste to match up with you."

  CC vetoes No. 1. "Although the lawyer's looks and money would satisfy your vanity, he has no sense of loyalty," she says. "He is worth nothing, just like Nick." CC can't stand womanizers like her former English boyfriend Nick, who won't quit until he sleeps with every woman he meets in Asia.

  "So on ly the banker and the scientist are left," Beibei says, turning to Lulu. "What do you think?"

  Lulu pauses and then says: "The banker is too boring. I'm still young. I feel that I would miss all the excitement of life by marrying him. I'd rather have a roller-coaster life than a boring one."

  CC asks: "What about the scientist?"

  Lulu sighs. "He's not ambitious enough. My own problem is lack of ambition. I'd love my other half to make up for me. Plus, I studied liberal arts in school. I rather prefer my man to have a similar educational background so we can have many things to talk about."

  "Can you introduce him to me then?" I cut in. "Loving, caring, and sensitive – he sounds like a million bucks to me. I always prefer men who are content and happy. Ambition can easily turn into greed. And I can learn science from him and he can learn arts and literature from me."

  Before Lulu can say anything, Beibei jumps in: "I'd like to get to know the international lawyer. He sounds like a wonderful lover to have. I don't mind that he's a womanizer since I sleep with other men apart from my husband. No strings attached on either side; it makes things a lot easier for me."

  CC chimes in: "The banker is good for me. I'm talkative and need to have a pair of attentive ears. As for boredom, it's bad, but better than betrayal."

  Beibei takes another look at Lulu's notes. "Lulu, can I have No. 5 as well? Model looks, passionate, romantic, another great lover I need. When can you introduce them to us?"

  "Anytime you like, my friends," Lulu says with a shrug.

  "Great!" We chorus, then talk ecstatically among ourselves about meeting these men.

  Feeling ignored, Lulu concludes, "I guess it's not too bad for me since I still get the billionaire. That will make plenty of Shanghai girls jealous."

  57 Easy Money?

  The economy has been bad. Wherever I go to a party, I bump into people who are out of work, from the United States to Hong Kong to Beijing. The people I meet are often hard-working white-collar people. The sad reality is that hard work and kindness are simply not enough for survival, and these noble qualities no longer gain the respect that they deserve.

  Mark, a friend from Silicon Valley, tells me that every morning, many of the homeowners on the street where he lives now greet each other before they begin to mow their lawns and fix their yards. They have all lost their jobs.

  "Niuniu," he says, "perhaps I should work for Home Depot. They are recession-proof. When the economy is doing well, people have the money to buy new homes. When the economy is bad, people have nothing else to do but stay at home and improve the ones they have!"

  Mark would like to find a job just to make ends meet, but other people find some creative ways to make big money. Lately, two of my former acquaintances have put their creative thinking into action. One woman named Stacy sued her employer for sexual harassment. She has just been awarded $2 million. Because the case will be appealed, it may take her a few years to collect all the money. Nevertheless, she is ready to retire. My former classmate at Berkeley, an Irish American guy named Neil, is suing his company for racial discrimination. He believes that he can get the $3 million he is asking for. If not, he'll find other ways to sue someone.

  Making money out of lawsuits is creative. Win one or two cases, and you can retire financially free like Robert T. Kiyosaki and Suze Orman.

  Though it sounds creative and easy, suing someone is a game plan that does not work for most people, who still have to put up with their routine drudgery and the bad temperament of their bosses.

  If one can make money by suing people in the States, what about in China, a country that is not as wealthy and has fewer lawyers? How can one make easy money here?

  Beibei's company Chichi Entertainment has recently signed up a twenty-one-year-old singer named Beijing Doll. She apparently has the answer: it's easier to stand out in a relatively conformist society like China. Once you stand out, you get attention. Once you get attention, you get the market. The Chinese market is a big one, which translates into big money. After all, it's all about competing for attention at a time when there is an information explosion. But how do you get attention? Simple – by placing a few hot news items, tailored by a savvy PR rep, into selected media, for the starved-for-scandal public to read and discuss.

  Beijing Doll's first CD I Was Born in Beijingdidn't sell well. She quickly changed her appearance on the stage by sporting an artificial mole on the corner of her mouth and wearing her undergarments on the outside of her clothes. She knows that China needs a Madonna!

  Not only a Madonna, but also a Monica Lewinsky. While on tour promoting her new CD, she invited a famous movie star to her hotel room, and later claimed that he tried to make sexual advances toward her. The movie star fiercely defended himself, saying "I didn't have sex with that woman." But Beijing Doll claimed that she had proof.

  China is conducting a media reform and encourages newspapers to become more commercial. The movie star's scandal with Beijing Doll appears on page one in newspapers big and small for weeks. Beijing Doll becomes a notorious celebrity just like Monica Lewinsky. Reporters and entertainment columnists mass in hotel lobbies and concert venues in order to have the chance for a face-to-face interview with her.

  Beijing Doll is aware of the notoriety of some of the media that followed her like a pack of dogs. When she is interviewed by some of the bigger newspapers and TV stations, she claims that what has happened between her and the movie star has simply been misrepresented
by some irresponsible reporters, trying to make her story more mysterious. Using big journalists to attack smaller journalists, she has gained free publicity, which generates the sales of her CD rapi dly.

  Still, many people are annoyed by Beijing Doll's shameless manipulation of the media. But she doesn't care. She tells Beibei, "I'm just trying to get ahead. I don't ever want to take crowded buses to work. That's all!"

  Beibei asks me if sex and scandal can sell more newspapers than news of politics and social development. I tell her that I think the society is, unfortunately, really this shallow. She says she feels sad. But in a fleeting second, she probes the sensational singer, searching for an angle to keep her in the news. Fifteen minutes of fame can always be followed by another media campaign designed to recapture the audience. After all, Beijing Doll gives up her reputation in order to make money, not just for herself but for Beibei as well.

  58 Reimbursements

  My close friends seldom call me before eleven in the morning. They know that I am a night owl and keep late hours as a journalist and a writer. But one rainy morning as I am sleeping deeply beneath my down quilt, Beibei wakes me up with a phone call. It is not even nine o'clock.

  Beibei says, "Tomorrow is the deadline for me to turn in my receipts from last month. I haven't spent enough on T amp; E. Now, I need ten-thousand yuan worth of receipts!"

  I rub my sleepy eyes in a daze without the full understanding of Beibei's urgency, I tell her, "Remember the hot-looking stranger I told you about? He came back to my dream again last night. This time he really liked me, and was just about to kiss me!"

  Beibei says, "I'm sorry if I just destroyed the most romantic dream you've had in the last two weeks! But did you hear what I just said?"

  "You need some receipts?" I mumble.

  "Right!" Beibei quickly explains, "I need ten thousand yuan worth of receipts for reimbursement purposes. Can you help me find some? Only last month's receipts are good."

  I tease, "Wow! Twelve hundred dollars! This is one of the benefits of the market economy with socialist characteristics that applies only to you. Unfortunately, I work for a capitalist company. I don't really save up receipts. I can't get reimbursement for anything, even my cell phone bills. Everything I pay for is out of my earnings."

  Beibei says, "No, Niuniu, I don't think there is a difference between capitalism and socialism in terms of reimbursements. Think of Worldcom or Enron. In my opinion, reimbursements are to do with one's ranking in the company. For example, general managers and chief representatives of big foreign companies' Chinese offices can get all kinds of allowances and reimbursements."

  I agree with Beibei. "I guess you're right. My position is not high up yet. That's why I don't have the power to get freebies."

  "I remember five years ago, the former Beijing bureau chief of your news agency, a British man who went to school with CC, was reported, by his driver, for using the newspaper's money to pay for toilet paper at his home and the paintings in his wife's office!"

  "If only one day I could become the bureau chief." I sigh.

  "But I thought you'd save up receipts for tax purposes," says Beibei.

  I sigh. "My income is too insignificant compared to yours. I don't really bother."

  Beibei says, "Even if you don't save receipts, you should have some you haven't tossed, like taxi fares, minibus fares, meals, books, gasoline, or different kinds of entertainment expenses. Anything is good except for bus tickets. They cannot be reimbursed."

  "It seems to me that your company discourages people from saving money on transportation," I say.

  "The rule is the rule! Have you got some receipts for last month?" Beibei asks me.

  "Let me check." I rummage through my purse and pockets and find some receipts. After counting, I tell Beibei, "I found receipts for some novels I just bought, but they are only for two hundred yuan. Chinese books are too inexpensive. Next time, if you'd tell me in advance, I'd buy some big pricey art books."

  "Niuniu, are you still in bed? Please get up quickly!" Beibei demands.

  "Why?"

  "It seems to me that the only choice we have is to spend as much money as we can today."

  "You want me to go with you to spend money so that you can get reimbursed the next day?" I ask.

  Beibei says, "Of course, the best choice would be getting receipts for things I didn't pay for. It would be another source of income. If I can't get that, at least we can have fun and let Chichi Entertainment pay for it!"

  "Beibei," I protest, "you sound so corrupt!"

  "Not nearly as corrupt as those corrupt government officials!"

  Huise shouru, or gray income, is popular in China. In Beibei's case, besides her salary, she gets reimbursed for gasoline, cell phone bills, meals, and gifts. This cash is considered her gray income. Even Lulu, whose pay is one-fourth of mine, can write off the cost of her clothes, her hairdo, her membership at the gym, etc. Plus, she gets boxes of free cosmetics, shampoos, and body massages every month from her magazine. She has told me that when the advertisers can't pay them money, they use their goods in exchange for advertising pages. As for CC, who works in a public relations firm, her cell phone, palm pilot, and the Omega watch are all from clients who give her such a big discount that the items become almost freebies. I'm the only one who works for a foreign company and lives on my salary and has no gray income.

  One hour later.

  Beibei and I meet in front of the spa. We go to the sauna and take a hot shower. Then, each of us gets a one-hour foot massage, a two-hour back massage, pedicures, manicures, and facials. Beibei and I have spent five hours in the spa. Next on the program is dinner.

  "Let's go someplace expensive!" Beibei suggests.

  "I'm not into shark fins or fancy nest soups," I say. "I feel this is already sad."

  "Yes, I know, you're so Americanized that you've become an animal-rights activist," Beibei teases.

  We choose to have a buffet at the revolving restaurant on the top floor of the International Hotel and then hang out at an Irish bar nearby for drinks.

  By eleven o'clock Beibei has spent only 5000 RMB – about $600 – not nearly half her goal.

  But her luck changes after I go to the lady's room where I find a handwritten ad on the wall: "Need receipts? I sell them cheaply. Page me at XXXX-XXXX."

  I immediately inform Beibei. Beibei rushes into the bathroom, gets the number, and makes the call immediately.

  When she comes back to join me, her face radiates joy. "Niuniu, you've helped me make five thousand yuan in three minutes!" Beibei says, hugging me.

  "Still no guilty feelings about the easy money?" I ask Beibei.

  "Not really. Everybody has to have some sort of gray income. At least, I pay for my own toilet paper."

  POPULAR PHRASE

  HUISE SHOURU: Gray income; income other than one's salary, often cash under the table or reimbursements for expenses.

  59 Nick, the Star

  On New Year's Eve, I invite my single girlfriends Lulu and CC to my house for a potluck dinner. After dinner, we watch the specials on TV together.

  One channel features a national English competition of elementary school students. Each contestant gives a five-minute speech on his or her dreams and hopes for the New Year. There are six judges present to award points, and the final score of each contestant is the average of the points, the same as the rules of a diving match. English contests are extremely popular in China; for example, the One-Million-Dollar Show in Hong Kong can draw huge audiences.

  "Look. It's Nick on TV!" Lulu has a margarita in one hand and is pointing at the TV screen with the other.

  Nick is sitting in the middle of the judges' panel. The camera gives him several close-ups, as the TV presenter explains twice that Nick is an expert from Oxford University. Apparently, he is highly respected.

  "My grades were much better than his in Oxford. Why didn't they invite me?" CC protests.

  "I guess you look too Chinese. The Chinese
like foreign faces better sometimes, especially when it comes to the English." I say.

  "Right. I forgot that I'm a fake foreign devil here," CC comments sarcastically.

  "I've heard there is a beauty pageant on another channel. Let's appreciate beautiful models instead of that heartbreaker Nick!" I suggest.

  We switch the channel to the beauty pageant. Seeing these young, thin, yet beautiful women walk so gracefully on the stage clad only in bikinis, I feel uncomfortable about my own body. I will lose weight and eat less chocolate in the New Year, I silently vow to myself.

  After the bikini test, it is announced that each beauty will be given a Q amp; A in English.

  "Although I'm not as tall and thin, I speak the Queen's English perfectly." CC comforts herself, trying to find a psychological equilibrium.

  But her smile soon freezes as we again see Nick on the TV. On this channel, he is acting as a guest MC. His role is to ask the questions in English to each beauty and to crack jokes. He is confident and princely.

  "I didn't know that he's turned into a TV star in such a short time period," CC murmurs. "Before coming to China, Nick was so shy and timid. But now, he has gained confidence. China seems to be a paradise for men. But what about women? These young women here could easily make me, once a college queen, feel fat, plain, unfeminine, and even old. Was it a wise decision to have returned to China from England with Nick?" She wonders.

  "This local channel is boring. Let's watch CCTV!" Lulu says.

  "Right! Let's watch something intellectual. Like The 59 Minutes," I add.

  CC quietly grabs the remote control and quickly switches the channel.

  The 59 Minutes features a special edition about China 's progress in the world community over the last year, as well as a forecast of cultural and socioeconomic changes in the New Year.