His Best Friend's Older Sister

by Laura Jardine

  “What the hell?” Nick shouted. “She’s my sister.”

  Jay merely shrugged.

  “You better talk. Did this start at the wedding?”

  “It did.”

  “I saw you two dancing. You danced with everyone, so I didn’t think anything of it. Apparently, I should have. And then you took a taxi together. You said you were going to make sure she got home safely. I can’t believe I was so stupid.”

  “It was your wedding night. You had better things to think about.” Jay smirked.

  “Don’t change the subject.”

  “Fine.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “It started at the wedding, then a week later, she came to me.”

  “She came to you?”

  “Yes. I’m pretty sure you don’t want to hear about it because the thought of Emily—”

  “Shut up.” Nick put his hands to his head as if he had a migraine. He paced back and forth across the asphalt.

  Jay stayed against the wall. “Look. I know that sleeping with your best friend’s sister is frowned upon…”

  “So you have slept together.”

  “I thought that was obvious.”

  “It was.” Nick sighed. “I was just trying really hard not to dwell on it.”

  “I know it’s awkward, and I understand why you’re not happy—”

  “Brilliant observation there.”

  “—but I don’t get why you’re so upset. You think I would treat Emily badly? I would never do that. Come on, Nick, you know that much.”

  “Do I?”

  That stung. “You really—”

  “Everything is a joke to you. A little fling. You’re never serious.”

  Jay looked down. His friend had a point. He wasn’t good enough for Emily, he knew that. He’d known that before tonight, but seeing her looking utterly perfect in that purple dress had made it painfully obvious.

  Still, he felt the need to defend himself.

  He might not be good enough for Emily in the long-term, but it was never meant to be a long-term thing.

  “Maybe she doesn’t want something serious right now,” Jay said. “You don’t know, do you? Perhaps the two of us want the same thing. Just a little fun. Wouldn’t you rather she be with me than some other bastard?”

  “God,” Nick said. “I really don’t want to think about this.”

  “You’re the one who has a problem with it. You’re the reason we’re talking about it.”

  “I know what she wants,” Nick snapped. “She wants someone who will love her and always be there for her, unlike…”

  Well. That sentence didn’t need to be finished.

  “Ultimately, yes,” Jay said. “But if she wants something else along the way, so what? It’s none of your damn business. She’s an adult. She can do whatever she wants, no matter what you think of it.”

  And if that’s having sex while pretending to be my secretary, so be it.

  Nick slumped against the wall, the anger fading from his expression. “I wish she had what I have. After all she did. She was the one I could always count on, not my parents.”

  “I’m sure she’ll get that eventually.” Jay bristled at the thought of her with another man. But that’s what Emily had told him she wanted, so he hoped she would get it. “However, her love life is not your responsibility. I’m telling you, she’s happy with this for now.”

  “Fine. Okay.” Nick scrubbed his hands over his face. “But if you do anything to hurt her, don’t think I won’t tear you apart.”

  “I know.”

  “Although I would hate for it to come to that.”

  Jay stepped away from the wall. He felt safe enough to put his hands in his pockets.

  “Thank God,” he said. “The last time I saw you get in a fight, Cody Winters was in rough shape afterward.”

  Nick chuckled. “When was that? Grade four?”

  “I think so.”

  “My last fight.”

  “Let’s keep it that way. I promise I’ll be good to Emily, okay?”

  “Okay,” Nick said grudgingly.

  They started back toward the patio. Jay managed a smile, but on the inside, his gut was churning. This thing with Emily … it had started to feel like more than sex, even though that had never been the intention. He needed to end things with her soon. Set her free to find the man of her dreams.

  ****

  A few minutes ago, Emily had been a sexy, confident woman named Rachelle.

  Now she was looking nervously over the edge of the railing along the patio. But she didn’t have a clear view of the back of the building, and maybe they hadn’t gone to the back anyway. Maybe Nick and Jay were out front.

  She returned to the table.

  “I think we should check on them,” she said to Diana.

  “Nah.” Diana waved her hand away from her. “They’ll be fine.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I wouldn’t have let Nick go if I thought it was going to turn ugly.”

  “He was dragging Jay outside!”

  “I’m sure it won’t get any worse than that.”

  Emily didn’t understand how her sister-in-law could be so calm right now.

  “My boyfriend,” Diana said. “I mean, my fiancé—”

  “Your husband.”

  “Right. I still haven’t gotten used to saying that. Anyway, Nick hasn’t gotten into a fight since he was a kid. I’m sure Jay will be able to talk some sense into him before that happens. Nick has no reason to be involved in this part of your life. Though it’s kind of sweet.”

  “Sweet?”

  “Yeah.” One corner of Diana’s mouth turned up. “How much he cares about you. How desperately he wishes for you to have everything you’ve ever wanted. Which I guess he doesn’t see happening with his best friend.” She shrugged. “So you and Jay, eh?”

  Emily couldn’t help but smile, although she was still worried about what was happening down there. But if Diana was confident it would be okay, then maybe she should be, too. “It’s not very serious. Not now, anyway. But it’s good. Very good.”

  “I’m glad.”

  Nick and Jay came back a few minutes later. No blood. No ripped clothing. Excellent.

  The sight of Jay and his easy smile made every cell in Emily’s body perk up. This was the man she wanted. There was no doubt about that.

  Nick didn’t exactly look happy, but he no longer seemed full of barely-contained fury.

  “So you didn’t battle it out like cavemen,” Diana said. “You decided to use words. Very sensible.”

  Nick held out his hand and pulled her up. “Let’s find somewhere to sit.”

  “You don’t want to have a drink with Jay and Emily?”

  “Not tonight.” Nick nodded curtly at Jay. “See you later, Em.” He walked off with his wife.

  Emily turned to Jay. “Is everything okay between you two?” she asked anxiously.

  “He’s still kind of pissed,” Jay said. “But I’m sure it’ll be fine in a few days.”

  “Do you regret what we did?”

  “No.” He leaned forward. “It’s been amazing. And Nick is a reasonable person, and he’ll get over this soon. Though if I hurt you, he’ll have my head.”

  “But that’s not going to happen.”

  “Of course not.”

  She touched his arm. “That definitely ruined the mood.”

  “It did. What were you going to say your job was, the thing I wouldn’t understand?”

  “Oh, just a particle physicist,” she said, and he laughed. “Let’s finish our drinks and go for a walk.”

  ****

  When they were out on the sidewalk, Emily considered reaching for his hand, but was afraid that might be too intimate. That was a relationship sort of thing, and first she had to tell him how she felt.

  “Trinity Bellwoods?” she suggested. “It’s only a few blocks away, right?”

  “Mmm,” he said. “Sure.” And then he kissed her in the middle of t
he sidewalk, a lingering kiss as people tumbled out of the nearby pub.

  There were so many perfect moments with him.

  They entered the park and sat on a bench not far from the entrance. She shifted close to him, her bare leg pressing against him, and he put his arm around her. They could still hear the sounds of traffic, of passersby, but in a way, it felt like they were in their own bubble.

  And Emily could finally admit to herself that she loved him.

  Maybe it was because she felt freer, now that Nick and Diana knew and the world hadn’t come crashing down. She wasn’t sure why. But one thing was very clear.

  She loved him.

  This man who had been patient and understanding the day he’d tried to take her shirt off and she’d completely freaked out. He’d given her so much.

  She wouldn’t tell him all of that, not today, but…

  “Jay,” she said, “we need to talk.”

  He was instantly wary, tense.

  Maybe that hadn’t been the best way to approach the subject.

  “What I mean,” she continued, “is this. You and me—it was just supposed to be sex, you helping me learn to enjoy it. But it’s become more than that. I feel more for you than I’ve ever felt for another man, and I want us to be together for real. Boyfriend and girlfriend.” The words gave her a bit of a thrill. “I know you don’t really do relationships, but—”

  “No.”

  He cut her off not with a tender kiss, but a decisive rejection.

  “No?” she repeated.

  “Why are you surprised? Like you said, I don’t do relationships.”

  “Neither do I, not really, but with the right person…”

  “Emily,” he said. “You’ll find the right person one day, but it’s not me.”

  “I think it is.”

  “Trust me. It’s not.”

  His words were harsh, clipped. Sometimes he spoke to her like this when he was pretending to be someone else, but he wasn’t like this the rest of the time. How could he reject her so easily after all that had happened?

  “Can’t we at least try?” she asked.

  Jay shook his head. “There’s no point in you wasting time on me.”

  He gave her a rueful smile.

  Oh, God. Emily had read this all wrong. She crossed her arms over her chest, as though her chest was exposed and she needed to cover up her awful skin. She wished she could climb under a big fluffy blanket and hide, wished nobody could see her for who she really was.

  It was like someone had pulled out a single Jenga piece—she used to play all the time with Ryan—and everything had come tumbling down. All the strength and confidence she’d gathered in the past few weeks—it was gone.

  Maybe it was impossible for a man to love her. More than one had been repulsed by how she looked under her nice clothes. The birthmark, the acne that would never go away. Nobody dreamed of having a woman like that. Men wanted soft, smooth skin.

  Texture, he’d said.

  It almost made her cry.

  But this wasn’t just about her skin. It was everything about her.

  Emily felt like she was twelve again, when her mother had extricated herself from their lives, and her father couldn’t even pour himself a bowl of cereal. She’d been abandoned by the two people who were supposed to love her the most. Surely there must be something wrong with her. She’d thrown herself into caring for her brothers, determined to have them if nothing else.

  Now, like then, it felt like no one wanted her.

  But her father had been very sick. It hadn’t been about her. When he’d gotten better, he’d taken care of her again, he’d said “I love you” whenever he could, knowing she needed to hear it.

  Emily tried to rationalize these feelings of worthlessness away, but she couldn’t do it.

  She’d never had a boyfriend for more than two months. Nobody had ever tried to have a serious relationship with her. True, she hadn’t been very good at letting people in, but still. Nobody wanted to try.

  Not even Jay.

  She had felt so close to him. Like he really got her and liked her for who she was. And Liz had convinced her that they could have something more.

  Liz had been wrong.

  When Nick met Diana, Emily had been envious, but also hopeful. If Nick could find love, then why couldn’t she? She’d assumed that if she dealt with her issues, she could have that for herself.

  But it was hopeless. She could see that now. She would always be broken and unlovable, no matter how hard she tried, no matter how much therapy she got, and she would always have bad skin. She crossed her arms more tightly over her chest, remembering how she’d looked in the slip from Victoria’s Secret. Her acne detracted from the whole effect.

  She was not beautiful inside and out. Her mother was right.

  Emily shut her eyes and took a deep breath and tried not to let the tears flow, but a few came anyway.

  “Oh, hell,” Jay said.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jay couldn’t bear to see Emily cry. It had undone him when he was ten years old and heard her sobbing in her room. Now she was crying much more softly, and it hit him just as hard. His chest felt hollow, gutted.

  He cared for her. So much. He hadn’t realized that before, but he did.

  She affected him like no one else.

  He wanted to be her boyfriend. He’d never wanted that with any other woman, but this was Emily, and she was different.

  But he couldn’t do it.

  Jay had always known Emily Branson was far above him. Unattainable. Then at the wedding, he’d discovered she was attracted to him, too.

  Sex was one thing, though. A relationship was a different matter.

  How had she come to want this? Perhaps it was just the sex, because he was the person who’d taught her how to enjoy her body. Once the shine of that faded, she would see that she never should have gone out with him, and he would probably screw things up. It was inevitable. He’d never even had a proper relationship before.

  Nick had said Jay wasn’t enough for Emily, and he was right.

  If you do anything to hurt her…

  Fuck. Jay was in deep shit. Nick would tear him apart. But it was better to let Emily move on now.

  Earlier tonight, he hadn’t regretted hooking up with her, even when he was in the back alley with his friend, but now he’d broken her heart.

  He never should have slept with her. This was a mess.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, though the words were nowhere near enough. He was the reason she was crying, yet he couldn’t change his mind.

  She covered her face with her hands, and then she stood up. “I’ll leave you alone.”

  He grabbed her hand and jerked her back down beside him. “You’re not going anywhere, not like this.”

  What was he going to do, though? Comfort her when he was the one who’d rejected her?

  But he wanted desperately to make everything better for her.

  “Why do you care?” she shot back.

  “I always cared about you. From the time we were kids.”

  “Just not enough to stoop to going on a date with me.”

  Her words were a jagged cut to his chest.

  If only she knew how much he wanted that. Alas, it was not to be.

  “I’m sure we would have fun,” he said, trying to sound light, casual. Trying to keep the emotion from his voice. “But we have no future together. I don’t do relationships. We don’t want the same things.”

  A lie. He did want the same things, but only with her. No other woman.

  She started to pull her knees onto the bench and ball herself up. But then she seemed to realize that she was wearing a short dress, and she put her feet on the ground.

  “One day,” she said, “you’ll find a woman who will make you feel differently. I thought that was me, but I was just being silly. Of course it’s not me. I can’t even wear a dress that shows off any cleavage.”

  “You’re beautiful,”
he snapped. Why was she thinking like this again? Hadn’t they come a long way? “I’ll prove it to you.”

  He’d make it all about sex and try to ignore the unfamiliar feelings coursing through him.

  Sex he could do. He was good at that.

  Jay hauled her onto his lap. He cupped her ass, and he pushed her against him, and he kissed her hard. He was pissed off, both at Emily and at anyone who’d ever made her feel this way about herself.

  Another man would want her, dammit. A man who deserved her and wasn’t destined to fuck everything up.

  “You feel that?” he growled, grinding against her. “I’m so fucking hard for you. And I can’t imagine I’m only guy who gets so damn turned on by you.”

  “But—”

  He cut her off, smashing his lips against hers, urgently and without finesse. She kissed him back, not immediately, but she did soon enough, her arms winding around his shoulders.

  “You can drive a man insane,” he said. “Since you sent me that picture of the striped pink bag, I’ve been able to think of little but you in lingerie. In every possible thing imaginable.”

  He slid his hand under her skirt. The back of her panties were all lace.

  Oh, God. He wanted to see them so badly. Wanted to do so much to her.

  Jay ran his finger along the edge of her panties at the top of one leg, and then he eased his finger inside to touch her. She was wet, and he wished he could thrust into her right this minute.

  He lifted his finger to his nose and inhaled the scent of her, remembering all the time he’d spent with his mouth between her legs when she was wearing an apron and nothing else. Then he slipped the finger inside his mouth, tasting her, watching her eyes as he did it. They were riveted on his face.

  When he dropped his hand to her pussy once more, he pushed two fingers inside and wiggled them around. She squirmed against him.

  “This is what you do,” he said. “You make me so crazy that I start fingering you in a public park.”

  “Jay.” She rode his hand. And then her lips parted and her eyes closed, and she clenched around him.

  Good God.

  “This is what we’re going to do now,” he said, his fingers still inside her. “We’ll go back to the hotel, to the room I got us.”

  “You got a room?”