Scorpio Love

by S. Tamanaha

  She assigned Jackson the upstairs bedroom so that she and Johnny could have the downstairs to themselves. When he went upstairs to settle in and they were alone, she sat next to Johnny on the bed. She knew better than anyone that feeling helpless was killing him. There had to be progress soon or his spirit would start to die. She could see it in his eyes.

  “Johnny, listen to me, all right? Remember how we met? Because of those dreams?”

  “Of course.”

  “And remember what that woman told me about Scorpios who are Eagles?”

  He nodded.

  “We are Eagles, Johnny. There’s nothing that we can’t do if we do it together. What I told you about love—about how two people who are really in love are stronger together than apart—it’s all true, and it’s even truer for us. You need to trust me, Johnny. You need to believe in us. You know that I can sense things, right? Well, what I sense is that we can do this.”

  “What if this time you’re wrong?” he asked quietly. “What if this time you’re mixing up sensing with wishful thinking?”

  She caressed his face gently. “When we get old and gray and wrinkled, will you still love me?”

  “Yes,” he said. “Forever. I will love you forever.”

  “Then you must know that our love has nothing to do with the body. We are bound by our hearts and our souls. That’s why I know that what I’m doing here isn’t wishful thinking because I’m not doing it for me, I’m doing it for you. I would love you just as much if you could never get out of that chair. But I know that you need to, and I know that the Universe wants it to be so. Don’t ask me how I know that, I just do. It’s simply not your time yet to be wheelchair bound. Maybe when we’re old and gray and wrinkled, but not now. I’m not wrong about this, but you have to believe it too. And it won’t happen overnight so you have to be patient. Just keep on loving me, Johnny, and trust me.”

  He took her hand and kissed it. “I’ll never stop loving you and I do trust you,” he said. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

  She got off the bed and went to open one of her luggage bags. She took out the two crystal balls and their mounts and put them side by side on the kitchen counter where he could see them. “Eagles, Johnny,” she said. “That’s what we are.”

  Then she walked up to his bed and stroked his hair gently. “Let’s get you cleaned up a little and then you have to eat something so that your system won’t be thrown off.”

  She got ready to empty the bag attached to his catheter.

  “Susan, I don’t want you to do that,” he said.

  “It’s okay. I know how.”

  “Stop.” He didn’t say it angrily, but the tone in his voice made her stop and look at him.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Come here,” he said. She moved closer to him and he took her hand and kissed it again. “I need you to let the nurse do all of that—all the personal hygiene stuff.”

  “I’m your wife, Johnny. Those things won’t bother me.”

  “It bothers me,” he said. He could see the hurt in her eyes. “Baby, I’m not pushing you away, all right? I just need you to do this for me ... please.”

  She looked at him and saw the pain in his eyes, and she understood. She nodded and he smiled gently.

  “I’ll tell him and then I’ll make a run to the market and pick up the fresh vegetables and other things that we need.”

  She went to find Jackson and told him about Johnny’s request. “Please handle him very gently, all right? I don’t want him hurt in any way. And be careful to keep his spine straight.” She was worried because of the size of this nurse. “And even though I’ve got him on that special mattress, please check him for any sign of pressure sores.”

  “Don’t worry,” Jackson said. “I’ve had a lot of experience with this type of injury.”

  “I need more than your experience,” she said. “I need your heart. I need you to understand just how much I love him, and I want him treated with tenderness and with respect. Please.”

  Jackson could see the love that she felt for Johnny in her eyes. He heard it in her voice.

  “I’ll take good care of him,” he promised.

  She nodded and then returned downstairs to Johnny. “He’s coming,” she said, kissing him gently. “I’m going to do the errands now. I’ll take Angel with me. She hasn’t gone riding with me for a while.”

  He reached out and caressed her face. “Thank you.”

  She turned her face and kissed his hand. “I’ll be back in about forty-five minutes,” she promised. She picked up the keys on the kitchen counter for the van that was sitting in the driveway and called to Angel who happily followed her.

  When Jackson came downstairs, the first thing that he did was to encircle Johnny’s bed with the portable screens. No one else was around, but it gave Johnny a sense of privacy and he was grateful for that.

  As Jackson began taking care of Johnny’s personal needs, Johnny said, “Jackson, I don’t want her to have to do any of this, okay? She would. She wants to. But I don’t want her to, understand?”

  Jackson nodded. “I hear you man. Don’t worry about it.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Johnny awoke the next morning to the smell of sausages and coffee. He could see her in the kitchen cooking.

  “Smells good,” he said.

  She looked up and smiled. He loved her smile.

  “Good morning.” She put the turkey sausages on a plate and went to kiss him. “I’m glad that you rested. We have a big day ahead.”

  She saw Jackson coming down the stairs just then. He was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt as she had requested. “Here’s Jackson. Let’s all have breakfast, and I’ll let him take care of you and then we’ll hit the pool, okay?”

  Johnny nodded.

  She fed Angel and then fed the two men—Jackson a hearty breakfast and Johnny a lighter one that followed the modified Atkins diet that the doctors had recommended. Then she took her Angel out for a walk while Jackson took care of Johnny and got him ready for the pool. When she returned, she introduced them both to the portable hoist that she had ordered.

  “This machine is going to lift you out of bed and into this special chair and vice versa so there’s no jarring of the spine,” she explained. “We’re going to put you into the sling, attach the sling to the hoist, and while it’s moving you, hang on to the grips and pull yourself up with your arms a little to take a little of the weight off of your spine. But not too much, Johnny. We don’t want your back dropping because of gravity. Jackson will make sure that your legs are supported.”

  As soon as he was securely placed in the sling, she engaged the motor that lifted his body off of the bed and deposited him into the chair gently. She and Jackson removed the sling and then she took them both out to the pool. A harness apparatus, similar to the type used in rehabilitation centers, had been built which spanned the width of the pool. To protect Johnny from excessive exposure to the sun and to permit him to use the pool even when it might be raining, a shade canopy had been constructed over a large portion of the pool. The pool already had a flat concrete bottom, and the water level had been lowered to a depth of approximately four and a half feet. Next to the pool and close to the apparatus was another hoist.

  “The chair that you’re in is completely submersible,” she said. “This hoist will lift both you and the chair into the pool.”

  The pool had been completely serviced the day before they had arrived. She checked the temperature of the water and then attached the chair to the hoist, positioned the hoist and chair between the posts of the structure, and operated the controls so that Johnny and the chair were slowly lowered into the pool. Jackson was already in the pool to make sure that the transition went smoothly. Once Johnny was lowered into the pool, the harness could be fitted over him while he was still in his chair. The harness was similar in design to those he had used while in the hospital except that it was inflatable. In the pool, the buoyancy prov
ided by the water and the inflated harness immediately relieved some of the pressure on Johnny’s spine and helped to keep it more properly aligned.

  “There are grips on the outside of the harness above you that you can hold on to for better balance,” she said. “Now we have to make sure that your feet are firmly touching bottom.”

  She had installed underwater cameras along the path that Johnny would be walking which she could operate from outside of the pool. Jackson was able to monitor the placement of Johnny’s feet and correct it by watching the television screen that was on a mount attached to the apparatus and that hung in front of Johnny. A second screen had been set up where she was sitting with the controls. When she turned the system on, the screens showed a clear view of Johnny’s feet. She switched camera angles from back to front to side to test the system. She noticed as she looked at the pictures that the left side of Johnny’s special underwater shoes had partially slipped off his foot.

  “Wait a second,” she said. She stood up and then got into the pool. Johnny couldn’t help but be slightly amused as he watched her go under the water to adjust his shoe. When she was done, she surfaced and returned to the pool steps nearby. Even with the lower water level, the step area was the only place in the pool where she could be well above the water.

  “Okay, now we’re going to teach your muscles how to walk again,” she said. “Jackson will stay with you and help you to move your legs and make sure that your feet remain in the correct position when you take each step. I’ll be outside of the pool operating the cameras and checking your body alignment.”

  “What? Aren’t you staying in the pool with me?” Johnny asked.

  “Johnny, the water level is perfect for you but it still comes up to just under my nose. How—” She stopped when she noticed that his eyes were smiling. It was the first time that he had joked with her since the accident. She grinned and swam over to him and hung on to the harness to kiss him.

  “I love you,” she said softly.

  “I love you too.”

  She smiled. “Now, walk for me. Try to will your legs forward. Try to make your muscles remember. It’s okay if you can’t do it right away. Muscle memory takes time.”

  For the most part, Jackson had to help Johnny move his legs forward and correct the positioning of his feet as he took each step. They made him do two laps—one away from her and the second returning to her.

  “How did that feel?” she asked.

  “It feels better in here than at the hospital,” he said. “I don’t feel like dead weight in the harness.”

  “The water and the harness are supporting your body better and relieving some of that pressure on your spine. I think that will allow the spine and cord to heal faster and the nerves to start regenerating. It’ll also relieve pressure on your skin and help to prevent pressure sores. The main thing is that we have you in the pool twice a day. I think that for you, it’s the answer.”

  “Why?” he asked. “What makes you so sure?”

  She smiled and kissed him gently. “Ask me tonight and I’ll whisper all of my secrets to you,” she said in that soft voice that he loved. “Right now, we have to get you used to the rest of your routine.”

  That routine involved having Jackson help Johnny perform exercises to strengthen his leg muscles and to keep his arms, back, and stomach muscles strong. The therapists at the hospital had helped Johnny through exercises but he hadn’t enjoyed it. Now, out in the fresh air, in her pool, Johnny took pleasure in exercising and realized how much he missed it. In the afternoon, the routine was repeated. After each pool session, Johnny was placed back into the special chair and wheeled directly into the patio bathroom where he could be given a shower and where Jackson could assist him with his personal hygiene needs.

  Throughout the day, Susan made sure that he drank a lot of water and that he ate on a regular schedule. She prepared foods for him that her research indicated were beneficial to nerve and muscle development and gave him supplements as well.

  In the late afternoon, an acupuncturist arrived. Susan told Johnny that he would be coming four times a week. Susan, Johnny, and Jackson all listened to the acupuncturist explain about energy meridians in the body and acupuncture points, and Susan and Jackson watched with interest as he deftly inserted the needles into the points on Johnny’s body that were supposed to help the flow of energy in his back and his legs.

  Before Johnny went to sleep, Susan applied moisturizer all over his body to keep his skin hydrated and to prevent the development of any pressure sores. This was something that she had been doing almost every night since he was hospitalized because she was deathly afraid of pressure sores, which she knew could result in infection and seriously threaten his health. Even after she had purchased a special mattress for his bed which was designed to prevent pressure sores, she continued the moisturizing and massaging. It had become a bedtime ritual. Johnny smiled a little as he watched her. He could see the love that she had for him on her face.

  She glanced up and saw him smiling. “What is it?” she asked, returning his smile.

  “I was just remembering all those massages that you gave me when I used to come home late from the studio. How you’d massage me until I fell asleep. You’ve always taken such good care of me.”

  “I love you,” she said. “I enjoy taking care of you. Besides, you took care of me too when that dog tore me up. Such good care.” She sat beside him and began applying the moisturizer to his arm.

  “You were pretty sure of yourself, weren’t you?” he asked.

  “Sure about what?”

  “That you could convince me to say ‘yes’. All this equipment and the construction out there, I know it didn’t all happen since you asked me to come back here.”

  She looked a little sheepish. “I wasn’t a hundred percent sure. But I was hoping that you’d trust me enough to say ‘yes’. And if you did, I wanted to have everything in place and ready for you so that there wouldn’t be any more delay.”

  “And if I said ‘no’?”

  She smiled a little. “I would have found a way to make you change your mind.”

  He had to smile at her honesty. He took hold of her hand then and squeezed it gently. “You said earlier that you’d tell me your secret—how you know that your pool therapy is going to work.”

  “Do you promise not to laugh at me?”

  “I promise.”

  “It’s as though the water’s speaking to me,” she said softly. “I can’t explain it. The same way I can’t explain what happened when those dreams began. But ever since I found that article on hydrotherapy, it’s as though this pool has been calling to me. I can feel it inside of me. I know it’s the answer. I just know it. Please trust me on this.”

  “Those dreams brought you into my life. If you believe in this that strongly, then how can I argue?”

  She smiled and kissed him. She knew that he wanted to believe her but that he still wasn’t convinced in his heart. She also knew that his heart had to be convinced if they were to succeed. He had to see improvement and he had to see it soon.

  In addition to the acupuncturist, Susan arranged for twice weekly sessions with a master of qigong who led both Johnny and her through exercises that were intended to strengthen the “chi”—the energy that is believed to flow through the body—and particularly the “chi” in the area of his injury. The exercises also focused on proper breathing which oxygenated the blood and which was something that she believed was important.

  Twelve days after he first entered the pool, as they were lifting Johnny out of his bed with the portable hoist, he winced. “Ow.”

  “What’s wrong?” she asked worriedly. “Is it your back?”

  “No,” Johnny said irritably. “The damn sling is pinching my—” He stopped and looked at her with surprise in his eyes. “My thigh. I feel something pinching my right thigh. Underneath.”

  “Jackson, check it,” she said quickly.

  Jackson did. “I see it,�
�� he said, grinning.

  She lowered Johnny back onto the bed gently then ran into the bedroom and returned with a needle. She began testing the area.

  “Do you feel any of this, Johnny?” she asked anxiously.

  He laughed. “All of it. Take it easy, would you?”

  She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “I knew it,” she said happily. “I knew it.”

  She tested his left side. There was no response. “This side will start to recover next,” she told him as though she were stating a fact. “Let’s get you into the pool.”

  She was right. A week later, the feeling in his left thigh began and his right thigh continued to grow stronger. In another seven weeks, both thighs were strong enough that he could lift them against gravity. After six more weeks, he was able to lift his calves against gravity using his thigh muscles. The left side, however, was never as strong as the right.

  The best part for Johnny, though, was the fact that he was also miraculously regaining control over his bodily functions. He knew that many people who suffered the kind of injuries that he had sustained never did, and he was profoundly grateful. It gave him a sense of dignity and an additional incentive to keep going.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Six months after he had first entered the pool, Johnny was able to walk the width of the pool four times while in his harness using his thigh muscles to move himself forward. Jackson walked with him and helped him to correct the positioning of his feet whenever necessary. Susan always sat at the edge of the pool by the starting point where she could watch his movements on her monitor and check the alignment of his body.