Return to Love (Willow Valley Book 1)

by Christine Kingsley

  Cassie and Lissa looked on as Jack picked Sarah up in his arms and twirled her around, laughing and smiling.

  Cassie happened to see Lissa's face, which was dumbstruck at the sight of the two together. "Well, she sure seems to like Jack. God, Cassie, look at them together." Lissa cast an accusing glare at her.

  "Hush or he'll hear you. Not now, please. We can talk later."

  "You better believe it."

  Cassie gave Lissa one more warning look before she turned to see Jack approaching with Sarah on his shoulders, wearing his cowboy hat. She could feel Lissa's eyes drilling holes into her back.

  "How are you today?" Jack looked at her tentatively.

  "Tired, mostly. But other than that, okay." She wished he wasn't so damned perfect. That would make things so much simpler. She gave him a tight smile, trying to keep her feelings in check, then immediately felt guilty at the hurt in his eyes.

  "Well I was just headed to the hospital and I wanted to make sure you were able to get some rest."

  They stared wordlessly at each other for a moment, trying to to feel out the situation. Surely he must be wondering if she regretted their night together. She had left while he was sleeping and hadn't returned his message earlier, and now she was acting aloof. Cassie was still trying to sort out how she felt about it, so she couldn't exactly reassure him.

  "Let me know how Tom is." His eyes tightened as the dismissive tone of her voice. She could have slapped herself. She may as well have just told him to leave. "I mean, if there's anything I can do to help you out, I'm here," she added, trying to soften her words. She offered him a small smile, hoping he understood that she just wasn't sure how to act.

  His demeanor softened slightly, and he lifted Sarah off his shoulders and handed her to Cassie. Their hands brushed, and the crackle of electricity between them was nearly visible. "Thank you. I'll call you later."

  Cassie just nodded, not daring to speak for fear she may blurt out all her crazy feelings for him in an effort to let him know she didn't regret last night. The impulse surprised her, and she became aware of the fact that she actually wasn't filled with regret. Given the chance, she wouldn't have changed a thing.

  Lissa cleared her throat, bringing Cassie's attention to the fact that they were both still standing there gazing at each other like mooning teenagers. She looked away in embarrassment, and Jack directed his attention to Sarah. "See you soon, princess." He tweaked her nose and she giggled. "Lissa," he nodded in her direction. Then he was gone and Cassie watched as his truck disappeared around the corner.

  "Girl. You've got it bad." Lissa was entirely too excited.

  "Hush," Cassie said, indicating Sarah.

  "Please, she doesn't know." Lissa rolled her eyes, then plucked Sarah from her arms and walked inside. Let's get you inside for some dinner, then time for a bath and bed so I can talk to Mommy."

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Jack walked into his dad's hospital room, trying to smile cheerfully. "How you doing, old man?"

  Tom smiled, looking much better than he had last night. "Still kicking. I think they'll let me out of here tomorrow." He squinted at his son. "Where's Cassie?"

  "Oh, busy, you know, with Sarah and work." He didn't meet his father's eyes.

  "She sure was a big help last night."

  "Yeah, it's a good thing she found you when she did." But he knew that's not what Tom was referring to. The connection they'd formed at the hospital had been apparent to him as well.

  "You okay, son?"

  Jack let out his breath in a huff. Not really, no. He didn't want to burden his father with his love life, though. "Just worried about you."

  "Jack, you've never been in the habit of lying to me before, so don't start doing it now."

  The old man could read him like a book. "What the hell, then. Cassie and I really...had a breakthrough last night." Had they ever. "And today, she's different. Remember how I told you I felt like she was holding back?"

  Tom nodded.

  "Well, it's not quite like before, but she's still got this guarded look. I don't think she trusts me not to break her heart."

  "Then show her that you won't." He said it as if it were that easy. "Don't give up on her now. If you're determined to have this woman, then be there. Even when she pushes you away. Just let her know you aren't going anywhere, and eventually she'll trust you."

  "How did you get to be so wise, old man?"

  Tom chuckled. "From making lots of mistakes."

  A while later Jack left, stopping to talk with a nurse about Tom's release from the hospital tomorrow and what he could expect things to be like at home.

  Back in his truck, Jack pondered over what his father said, and it made sense. She keep pushing back, like she was afraid he wouldn't always be there for her. He'd just have to show her he would be. He thought again about how perfect they were together and couldn't imagine anything that could ever make him leave her side.

  * * *

  Sarah had finally settled down for an early bedtime and Lissa had ordered a pizza. Apparently there was no getting out of this conversation. Cassie really didn't want to sort through her feelings for the first time out loud with Lissa, but the woman was like an anaconda. She wouldn't let go until she'd squeezed every juicy morsel out.

  They sat down with the pizza on the couch between them, Lissa looking at her expectantly.

  "Needless to say, this remains between the two of us."

  Lissa glared at her as if she were brainless. "I'm offended."

  "Just clarifying that this is off the record."

  "Whatever, yes, of course it is." She waved her hand impatiently. "Now spill it."

  Cassie couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her face, but had the decency to blush. "I spent the night with Jack last night."

  Lissa leaned back on the couch and kicked her feet in the air. "I knew it. I want details."

  "Let's just say that it was better than I'd ever dreamed, and leave it at that please."

  Lissa groaned. "Come on, that's not fair. All the anticipation and that's all I get?"

  "Yes, that's all you get," Cassie laughed.

  Lissa sighed contentedly. "I love it. You deserve it." She frowned and sat up slightly. "Why all the awkwardness earlier then?"

  Cassie wouldn't meet her eyes. "I don't know. I guess I'm not sure where to go from here. Just because we had a night together doesn't change the facts of the situation." A sudden heaviness settled in her stomach. She'd tried all day to avoid thinking about it for this very reason.

  "Of course it does," Lissa argued.

  "It doesn't," Cassie insisted. "There is still this giant secret looming over us, and I still haven't made up my mind what to do about it. If anything, this only complicates matters."

  "You are so dense sometimes. Just. Tell. Him. You must not have noticed, but everyone else in town has. The guy is over the moon for you. You can see it written all over his face. When he came to the store today for some supplies, he had the most ridiculous grin. That's how I knew." She grabbed a slice of pizza from the box and held it out to her. "You want some?"

  Cassie shook her head because she'd suddenly lost her appetite. "What if he hates me? I think I've made a huge mistake, Liss. Now I've gone and let my heart get involved after telling myself over and over that I wouldn't. That I couldn't. I don't think I could bear it if he never wanted to speak to me again. But that's exactly what I'd deserve." She fell back on the pillow and covered her eyes with her arms.

  Lissa shook her head slowly. "I don't think he could hate you." She held her hands up as Cassie started to argue. "I'm not saying that he'll sweep you up in his arms and you'll live happily ever after. He's going to be upset. But he'll be even more upset if you let this go on any longer. You need to tell him now. Then you can work out the details of moving forward."

  She knew Lissa was right. As much as it hurt her to think about betraying her mother by going back on her word, she had spent much of the previous evening in t
he hospital thinking about it. Seeing him with his dad had reiterated how important family was to him, and also how fragile life could be. It wasn't fair to keep Jack from his child. In fact, the more she'd thought about it, the wronger she had felt for keeping the secret in the first place.

  Initially, when she had first adopted Sarah, she'd had misgivings about keeping Jack in the dark, but after a while, she had convinced herself that if she couldn't do anything else for her mother, at the very least she could keep her word.

  It was easy to convince herself that keeping the secret was okay when he had been gallivanting around the country. She'd even rationalized with herself that it wasn't fair to Sarah to have a father that couldn't stay put.

  But now that Jack was home and intending to start a life here, and especially since she'd been spending so much time with him, she knew her reasoning was faulty. But she'd been scared. Afraid of her feelings for him, and also scared that he'd turn on her and leave her alone. Mixed in there somewhere was also a fear that he'd try to take her daughter away. She shook that thought from her head. Jack would never be so cruel.

  She heaved a sigh and pushed back up to a sitting position, staring dejectedly at Lissa. "I should have told him sooner, Liss."

  Lissa gave her a look that clearly said I told you so, but she didn't say the words aloud. "It will all work out. He may be upset at first, but he'll forgive you." Her voice was full of confidence as she reached for another slice of pizza.

  "That's easy for you to say, but what if it doesn't? You think we'll have our happily ever after and ride off into the sunset, but this is really serious stuff. Having a family is important to him, despite the way he's lived the past few years. I think I've made a huge mistake." She covered her face with her hands.

  "By sleeping with him?"

  "Maybe. I don't know. It's really hard for me to regret it because it was so perfect. But now I'm emotionally invested in this, and it's going to kill me if he wants nothing to do with me."

  Lissa bit her lip. "I honestly don't see that happening, but that is a consequence you accepted when you agreed to keep this secret. Still, you have to tell him."

  "I know. I will. As soon as the opportunity presents itself." She only hoped that when it was all said and done, she wouldn't be picking up the pieces of her shattered heart.

  * * *

  The rest of the week passed and still Cassie hadn't found the right opportunity to talk to Jack. He had been back in the bakery every day, resuming his ritual of a morning muffin, but of course that wasn't the time or place for such a discussion. He'd brought dinner over one night, and she had been out to the ranch to help him make sure Tom got settled in on the day he came home from the hospital. Things had been happy and comfortable, so the timing had never felt right. Cassie knew the longer she drew this out, the worse it would be, but she kept telling herself the right moment would present itself.

  Tonight wasn't the night, though. It was Friday night, and they had their first official date. Part of her was excited to make it known to the citizens of Willow Valley that Jack Martin was hers, but she was sure there were naysayers as well. Not everyone could overlook the fact that Jack had now been involved with both Powell sisters, and in a small town where everyone's business was up for debate, opinions were large.

  She heard the sound of Jack's truck and took one last look at herself in the mirror before giving a few last minute instructions to Emily and running out the door. She really didn't want Sarah to see them together as a couple until she knew what direction they were headed.

  "Have fun," Emily called after her. "You look beautiful."

  She did feel like she looked good in her cream sweater and turquoise scarf. The fall weather was starting to creep in, just in time for the cook-off next weekend.

  Jack was just climbing the steps to the porch when she shut the door behind her. He took her in his arms and smiled down at her, making her breathless at once. "This is our first date. You were supposed to let me come to the door."

  Cassie tried to laugh off the comment, not wanting him to know her unease over Sarah. "I guess I just couldn't wait another moment longer."

  Her answer seemed to appease Jack because he lowered his lips to hers and pressed a tender kiss to them. Her response was immediate. Cassie thought she may never get used to how easily her body lit up with his touch. That was fine with her. The kiss quickly intensified. They hadn't had much time alone since the night Tom had been in the hospital.

  After a moment, Jack pulled back reluctantly. "If we don't stop, we may not even make it to dinner."

  Cassie thought she may be okay with that, too, but released him from the death grip she had on his soft leather jacket and gave him a flirtatious smile. "Let's go."

  * * *

  Jack looked across the table. Cassie looked absolutely beautiful in the firelight. While Angus' was the only nice restaurant in town, and was typically crowded on a Friday night, Jack had called in a favor from the manager, whom he had known all his life. They had shut down the back patio, which wouldn't have gotten much use tonight anyway with the change in the weather, so that Jack and Cassie could have their own private dining experience. There was a fire roaring in the old brick fireplace, which was keeping them nice and warm. Candles were scattered around, covering the tables and railings, and the only other light came from the canopy of string lights above. Judging from the look on Cassie's face, Jack had scored major points in the romance department.

  He waited until the server poured up the bottle of wine he had ordered ahead of time, then reached across the table to take her hands in his. She looked up at him with her big brown eyes and he thought he may drown in their depths.

  "This is really amazing, Jack. I can't believe you did this for me."

  "You deserve only the best. I want you to know how special you are to me, and if I have things my way, this is just one of many nights you have to look forward to."

  She nodded, but Jack saw a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. He remembered what his father had said, and while he didn't want to scare her off by talking too much about the future, he did want to assure her that he was in this for the duration.

  "Cassie, you mean so much to me. I can't believe it's taken us this long to find each other, but I don't plan on wasting another minute. I'm here for you. Always. Yours for the taking, and I don't ever want you to doubt it for a second."

  She looked down at their entwined hands. "You can't be certain of that, Jack. The future is unpredictable." She hesitated. "You don't know what could happen to change your mind."

  "Look at me." He leaned forward and lifted her chin so that she had to look into his eyes. "There's nothing you could do or say that would change the way I feel about you. I know this seems quick, and I don't want to scare you away now that I've finally got you, but what we've got is real, and I'm not letting you go."

  She still had a strange look on her face. Uncertainty, fear. He decided to let it go for now, but as the server took their orders and they discussed the details of their day, he couldn't keep his mind from wandering back to their previous conversations. Cassie really didn't trust that he would always be there for her, and he wondered why.

  Had someone hurt her in the past? He didn't know much about her life in between the time he'd left for college and returned home last month, other than that she had been busy with the same responsibilities she now shouldered. Something must have happened at some point though, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. If they were going to have a future together, then he needed to know what her reservations were.

  After they had finished their meals and the server had cleared their dishes, he leaned back in his chair and eyed her. If he was going to convince her that he was committed to a relationship with her, she needed to know that he accepted everything that came along with it. "Why don't you bring Sarah with you to the ranch on Sunday? Dad would love to see her, as would I, and she could ride Ebony again." There was that look again, and without w
arning she pulled back, looking as if she were going to throw up another wall. He hurried to add, "Dad's been awfully lonely, not getting out any this week. Sarah could keep him company while we work on the final plans for the cook-off."

  "I don't think that's such a good idea."

  She didn't appear to want to elaborate, but Jack wasn't letting her off that easy. "Why not?" When she didn't answer, he pushed the issue. "Cassie, if I'm going to be in your life, I want to be part of all of it. You and Sarah are a package deal, and I'm fine with that. More than fine, actually. Sarah is amazing and I want to get to know her too."

  She spoke so softly that he had to lean in to hear her. "I just don't think it's wise to bring her into," she gestured between them, "whatever this is. Kids can form attachments quickly. And if things didn't work out, I wouldn't want her to be hurt."

  There she went again, dooming them before they'd barely gotten started. He said as much. "Why are you so sure that things aren't going to work out? I've never known you to be a pessimist, but everything out of your mouth indicates that you don't think this will last. What can I say to you to prove that I care enough about you to make this work?"

  "Can we please not go there right now? I have my reasons." She stopped abruptly as if she'd already said too much. Now he was more confused than ever, but he wasn't going to ruin their night by pressing her any further.

  He took a breath to refocus, then smiled softly at her. "Fine. This is our special night, and I want you to enjoy it. Forget I said anything about it." For now, he added silently.

  He quickly changed his demeanor and leaned in with a spark in his eye. "You up for dessert?"

  She met his gaze with heat that rivaled his own and grinned mischievously. "Always."