Miss Independent, Volumes 1 & 2

by Leach, Kiki

  She opened her eyes, watching as he continued kissing her without reservation, stroking his tongue across hers, never realizing she had stopped kissing him back. She shoved him away from her and moved to the side, grabbing at her lips and tugging at her skirt as she looked up into his eyes. She saw the face a man who wanted to use her for his own pleasure, and to discard her just as quickly before the sun came up. She remembered Eliza’s books and thought about digging them out of the trashcan.

  “Things are never going to change if we keep doing this,” she said, picking up her bag. “If you keep using sex to avoid the bigger issues that have risen between us since she’s come back, and I keep letting you.”

  “Nik--”

  “You think it’s going to solve everything – just stick your dick in my mouth so that I stop talking and pretend that everything we have is real when it isn’t because you’re still not leaving her,” she said. “Just like Vanessa always said and I was too stupid to realize it until now.”

  “What Vanessa said?” He nodded, realizing the one obstacle keeping him from what he truly wanted was once again making her way back into the fold. “You keep listening to her and talking about our relationship like what we have is meaningless.”

  “It’s not? You’re essentially choosing your wife over me every chance you get, except tonight but that’s because you need something from me that she’s not willing to give to you just yet. Do you think that I like coming in second or even third or fourth behind her and your children? Do you think I like being the one you come to when you need to feel alive or have your dick sucked while she’s the one you go to about plans in opening another coffee shop? I used to be that person you came to with ideas like that, long before she ever thought of coming back. And now I’m just the one you screw at night and she’s the one you go to in the morning while I try to wash what’s left of you off of my skin. But that’s how it’s supposed to be, isn’t it? The role I’ve chosen to play throughout this entire saga.” Nikki spun away from him and dropped her hand inside her bag to search for her keys.

  “Nicole--”

  “No, just… You should go back home to her, and not just because it’s the right thing to do but because she’s your wife and I’m not. If she’s still at the launch, maybe you should go there and congratulate her on landing the cover of the magazine. I know V worked hard to get that issue out, maybe you should--”

  “Did Vanessa ever tell you that I came to see her at work?”

  She stopped digging for her keys and turned back to face him. “What?”

  “I went to see her a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to tell her to stay out of our relationship because it’s really none of her business what we do or how we choose to do it. This is a perfect example of why I feel she needs to back off. I told her how much I loved you and how much that--”

  “What did she say after you bombarded her in her office like that?”

  He exhaled sharply and tightened his jaw. “She said a lot of things. The main thing being that she doesn’t believe that I’m not trying to screw you over. I can’t believe she didn’t tell you anything about it.”

  “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me anything about it first.”

  “I’m telling you now.”

  “Only because you want me to be mad enough to stay with you tonight instead of going inside.”

  He rattled his head. “Nik--”

  “Yo tengo la razón o, de lo contrario, no habría dicho mi nombre primer.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “It’s is and we both know it.” She finally found her keys and began unlocking the door.

  “We’re not done talking,” he said.

  “I was done before this conversation even started. Goodbye.” She hurried inside and slammed the door in his face.

  She lay back, disappointed in finally coming to the realization about what they had but at the same time unhappy about Vanessa keeping something like Oscar going to see her as well. She tossed her bag in the den and ripped upstairs to her best friend’s bedroom, knocking on the door until she finally got up and answered.

  Vanessa yanked back on the door so hard, she nearly ripped it from its hinges. She pulled her scarf down as it had almost slipped off her head while she tossed and turned in bed. She rubbed her eyes and yawned then dropped her arms to her sides. “What the fuck time is it, Nicole?” she snapped.

  “It’s late, but I need to talk to you about something.”

  “Can’t it wait until the morning?”

  “Not really. Oscar was just outside.”

  “Why? Is he stalking you now?”

  “He was waiting for me when I got home, but I wouldn’t say he was stalking me. He said that he came to see you at your office a few weeks ago. Why didn’t you tell me that?”

  She shrugged. “Because what good would it have done? Especially now that his wife is never leaving town.”

  “She told you about that tonight?”

  “Yeah. And I sort of bit her head off about it too. Funny thing is, I’m not sure if I did that for me or for you.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because I don’t know if I want her to leave town so that you can keep seeing Oscar because it’s the only thing aside from acting that seems to make you happy. Or if it was really because of what I told her in that her staying here instead of continuing to live bicoastal screws up the entire purpose of this latest issue. It comes out in” – she stared closer at her clock –“a little over six hours and I can only hope that she takes my advice and keeps her mouth shut if she really chooses to stay for the duration.”

  Nikki paused and leaned on the frame. “He kissed me tonight,” she said. “He kissed me and I felt it more between my legs than I did inside my heart. Maybe that means I’m attracted to him more than I ever thought I loved him. Maybe it means I never really changed as much as I thought I have.”

  “Or maybe you’ve changed completely but your heart needed a break tonight, and you were just anxious to get laid for once without dealing with all of the complications surrounding the circumstances. It happens.”

  “Not to you.”

  “Yeah, well… it just means that my heart and my vagina can never seem to tell themselves a part.” She backed up against her bed and sat at the edge. She placed her hands on her knees and inhaled deeply, exhaled slowly. “I almost had sex with Nathan.” She held up her index and middle finger. “Twice since he’s been back. Once in my office the night of the reunion--”

  “I knew it--”

  “And once yesterday when I went to see him after having brunch with Sheila. I didn’t have a care that he was engaged to her, I didn’t care about her at all. All I cared about was having his dick inside of me, thrusting until I couldn’t see or walk straight, and all because it meant that he belonged to me again. I felt the same thing yesterday, but I couldn’t give in. What’s even worse is that I almost did even knowing that because I didn’t screw him the first time, he went back to his room and screwed the shit out of her. I had a momentary lapse in judgment each time but it’s something that he does to me when I get around him. I can’t stop it or control it, even though God knows I wish I could. And now it’s running my friendship with you and whatever possible thing I might have going with Maurice. So if you ever hear me judging you about Oscar again, you’re free to throw this back in my face at any time. Believe me, I’ll shut up and go my own way.”

  Nikki crossed her arms and lay her head against the frame. “It’s nice to hear you say that you’re not perfect. I never believed you were, and that is the beauty of being in a friendship with you. But sometimes I feel like it’s a front you try to put on for the rest of the world, even though we’ve all seen your mistakes.”

  “They’ve played out in front of the media for as long as I can remember. But this latest one might be the biggest.”

  “I don’t think so,” Nikki replied. She scrunched her brows and thought a moment, then stood up straight. “I
f Nathan is really to you what Oscar is to me, then what was all the talk about Adrian earlier?”

  “That was because of the age thing, and the complete manipulation thing, which I think Oscar has managed to master with you as well. But that intensifying feeling of love and lust and rage all rolled into one? That feeling of wanting to fuck and kill a man at the same time, that’s all Nathan for me in a nutshell.”

  “I don’t know if I want to kill Oscar. I might want to hurt his feelings and I think I did that by not having sex with him tonight, in addition to him knowing that I have a date on Thursday for--”

  “Back up. This Thursday?”

  She nodded. “There’s a restaurant opening around the corner from Alexander’s.”

  “Yeah, Alexis told me about that earlier today. How did you know about it?”

  “I met a man at the bank yesterday with Maurice and he asked me to be his date for the opening.”

  Vanessa grinned wide and crossed her legs. “Really?!”

  “Don’t get too excited, V, we just met.”

  “And? Is he married?”

  “Divorced with one kid. He’s a little bit older than me, but--”

  “Who cares?! So far he’s one HELL of an upgrade from being married with twins. What’s his name?”

  “William. I can’t remember his last name right now, but we’re supposed to be meeting there around 7:30.”

  “I can take you there. Well, with Maurice, if he still wants to go with me. I haven’t even really asked him yet.”

  “What’s going on with you two?”

  “I don’t know.” She sighed. “Anytime I feel like we’re taking a step forward, we end up taking ten thousand right back.” She looked up at Nikki, who frowned. “What?”

  “I don’t support you having a relationship with him,” she said. “But if he makes you happy, it’s all we can hope for.”

  “To be perfectly honest, I don’t know what he makes me. I thought I did, but in truth, I guess I’m still just trying to figure it all out.”

  “I said this to him already, but you need to hear it too… whenever you find out what it is that you’re exactly doing with each other, just let me know in case I need to move out.”

  “In that case, I’ll have your bags packed and ready by the door.”

  Nikki tossed a pillow at her face as Vanessa laughed.

  Part Twenty-Seven

  Vanessa went over to her dresser and opened the small velvet box that held the necklace Bee had given to her the night of the launch party. She placed it around her neck and tried hooking it at the back but kept missing the loop. When she saw Maurice moving down the hall, she called him into her bedroom to help her clasp it. He fixed his cufflinks and went inside, staring at her before he even approached, admiring her as she stood at a certain angle before her mirror in her fitted dress; it hugged every inch of her body in all the right ways.

  Maurice was enthralled. He gulped and stepped closer, resting his hands at her waist before moving them up her back and taking hold of the necklace, clasping it as the letters in her name drooped down in front between her breasts. She adjusted it so that it would appear straight across her chest and turned to look up at him. She ran her hands down the arms and front of his crisp white shirt and smiled.

  “You look handsome,” she said in a soft voice. “I want to thank you for coming with me tonight. I know that we haven’t really spoken much in the last few days, with you being so busy in working on your ad and Alexis riding my ass at the magazine to make sure I’m keeping on track instead of going off on Sheila again for one reason or another, but--”

  “Yeah,” he replied, nodding.

  “Yeah.” She took a step back and dropped her hands at her sides. “Anyway, I just want to say that I appreciate you for coming to this restaurant opening with me, even though I asked you at the last minute.”

  He thought for a moment of her words and looked deep into her eyes. “You already know that I would do anything you asked me to, V, anytime. Within reason. And even if not, I still might.” They smiled at each other. “Besides it’s good to have a night off where I can just drink a beer and enjoy my time, and I don’t have to think about work or anything else except for you.” He bent down to kiss her cheek.

  She turned her lips a little, just missing the corner of his mouth. When he backed away, he stared at her as if he could take her right there. If she was as ready, willing and able as she had claimed to be, he would’ve slipped a hand up between her thighs, taking her pussy at the center of his palm, holding tight and massaging until she came and begged for mercy for him to release her – even though he knew she wouldn’t, because she couldn’t.

  The thought plagued his mind for what seemed like an eternity until he heard their driver pulling up outside and pointed toward her bedroom door.

  “We should probably get going soon,” he said.

  She stared at him for a long while, wondering what he thought as he stared back at her with such a penetrating look on his face -- but she couldn’t for the life of her understand what it meant, though what she hoped for wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. “Okay,” she told him. “Let me grab my purse and I’ll get Nikki.”

  “Alright.” He headed downstairs to grab his sports jacket and wallet.

  Within the hour and amid the heaviest traffic, they finally arrived at Angelino’s Bistro Bar and Grill behind a bevy of other cars that had lined either side of the street for the same reason. As per request by the owner, Angelino, and courtesy of Alexis’ connections throughout the industry, a myriad of hungry, celebrity obsessed photogs had covered the sidewalk which had been draped by a long red carpet with a white backdrop that lead up to the front door.

  It felt more like they had arrived for the premiere of a Spielberg film as opposed to a small restaurant that had only gained word of mouth via the people who knew Angelino and his family best. Maurice helped both Nikki and Vanessa out of the limo they had taken and watched everyone from Tyra to Naomi pose for pictures with other guests as well as each other before entering the building.

  Maurice leaned down to Vanessa’s ear. “I thought this was supposed to be some sort of ‘small’ opening for personal guests of the owner?”

  “It was. I don’t know how the hell all of these people are even going to fit inside this place. It looks no bigger than my bedroom.” She sighed and waved her hand. “Whatever I guess, just as long as I don’t have to see Sheila and Nathan.”

  Nikki tapped her shoulder and pointed behind them. “I think you spoke too soon, V.”

  She sank down the moment she recognized the grim tone of Nikki’s voice. “Don’t I always? Fuck.”

  Vanessa and Maurice turned just as Nathan was helping Sheila out of their personal town car. He leaned into the open window of the front seat and spoke something to the driver, as Sheila spotted the trio and began waving as if she were sitting at the front of a Miss America float.

  “We’re here!” she hollered.

  “Greaaaat.” Vanessa looked over at Nikki and gagged.

  As they moved closer, Sheila immediately took Nathan’s hand and held it close to her chest; it was a way of showcasing who he belonged to. He noticed almost immediately and lowered their hands between them to keep from making their relationship too obvious. She became annoyed but he never saw her face as he remained focused on Vanessa, who tried avoiding even looking in his direction as they approached.

  “What the fuck is she wearing? I asked her to come, but not as a Picasso painting.” Vanessa wrinkled her nose at Sheila’s bright pink dress which was practically covered by an even louder pink jacket that happened to be covered in feathers.

  Sheila smiled wide as Nathan stood beside her, appearing more than unenthused by the situation. “This is just like meeting up before a party in high school, isn’t it?”

  “So much so that it’s nauseating and practically killing me to even stand here,” Vanessa said under her breath. Maurice snorted.

  �
�This is amazing!” Her eyes danced with delight at the decorum. Seeing something she greatly admired amongst it all, she leaned into Nathan and pointed across from them. “Now see those lights around the door might be useful to put on the tables at the reception.”

  Vanessa ran her tongue across her teeth and seethed as she turned to look Maurice in the face. “Is this bitch serious?” she mumbled. “Is she serious? I need somebody to tell me if she’s serious right now, because I cannot.”

  “Shhhh. V.” He moved in closer and gazed down the street, trying to keep his eyes off of her so as not to appear obvious that he was trying to calm her down from possibly losing her shit, again.

  Nikki sensed her friend’s anger and uneasiness, she tried to mediate. “Sheila!” She pressed her hands together and leaned back. “We haven’t had much time to talk since you’ve been back. I want to say that’s a nice jacket but I’m more curious about what animal had to die in order for you to walk around the city looking like that? A flamingo?”

  Sheila laughed and rolled her eyes a little. “It’s good to see you too, Nik. Have you lost weight?”

  She lifted her head and grinned. “I haven’t had any to lose.”

  “There’s something about you that looks different. If it’s not your weight, maybe your hair? Or maybe the men you’ve been sleeping with? Tell me, has there been an upgrade in quality since we graduated high school?”

  “I should hope so! We can’t all marry the men we love” – she bent forward, whispering – “even though they may never really love us back. What’s that like?”

  Sheila grit her teeth through a grin and scratched the tip of her nose. “I’m actually glad I was able to see you tonight because I spoke to Eliza the other day, and she told me to tell you that if I ever came across you again that she plans on penning another book about relationships, a novel this time. Something about a woman who likes to sleep with married men.”