Never Forgotten Love

by S. M. Stryker

  Chapter Four

  RICHARD DIDN’T REQUIRE a dress code for work, but I always try to look professional, my thinking is ‘you never know who you will run into,’ today I was wearing a pair of jeans and a nice black suit jacket with a graphite gray t-shirt. My hair is long and shaggy with it curling more as it grows longer.

  The swinging door opens and there she is, her long strawberry blond hair tied back in a high braid, and those crystal blue eyes that I could never get enough of, and of course she has flour on her cheek. As she walked through the door, I watched her look around at the customers sitting at all the bistro tables, a look of pride in her eyes and a small smile on her lips, and then her eyes meet mine. She tilts her head to the side as if she is trying to remember something. Then she glances down at my left wrist I hear her gasp. Her hand flies up to cover her mouth, her eyes look me up and down in confusion, as the color leaves her face, probably like mine had when I saw the name of the cupcakes. Shannon turns to look at her. I can see it now…I jumped the counter and grab her before she hits the floor, but my cupcakes were toast.

  “Harlow girl, are you ok?” I ask Shannon to bring me a glass of water. “Harlow, can you hear me?” Her eyes slowly open. Then she gasps again, she slowly turns her head to face me; she looks at me as if I am a ghost.

  “Beckett? Is it really you?” she questions. Tears swim in her eyes.

  “Yes Harlow girl, it’s me,” I say.

  Then as if a light switch is turned on, her demeanor switches. She becomes hard, distant, and cold. She pushes herself off me as if I had some disease and slowly stands, bending to pick up the cupcakes that are in a clear plastic cupcake box and tossing them in the garbage.

  I stand up and look at her, her eyes started turning almost gray. In the years, I had known her, the only time I ever saw that happen was when she was really mad at someone. Then I get it, she is mad, at me. I hadn’t kept my promise to stay in contact with her. I knew I could explain to her what happened, but deep down I know that it is just an excuse and you know what they say about excuses, ‘excuses were like asshole, everyone has one and they all stink.’ and right at this minute, I was the asshole. I was going to have to sit her down and talk to her…shit I look at my watch I have fifteen minutes to make it back to work, scarf down my sandwich, and be ready for interviews. I take a couple twenties out of my wallet, put it on the counter, grab the cupcakes out of the trash and the sandwiches put my business card on the cash and run out.

  I make it back to the office faster than normal, I walk into Richard’s office with a smile on my face handing him his sandwich. “Well, from the smile on your face, Paul must have called you. Either that or you had one hell of a workout.” I place the box of disheveled cupcake their frosting was askew, on his desk. He looked down at them, then up at me as if I scrounged for them in the garbage.

  “Nope, and yes, but that’s not the reason I am smiling.” I put the last bit of my sandwich in my mouth as I hear the door open. “I’ll bring her back to the conference room,” I say.

  I make my way to the reception area, standing there is a petite inky black haired girl with piercing green eyes. “Hi, I’m Beckett, are you here for the job interview?” I ask as I offer my hand to her.

  “Yes, my name is Raven Whitehorse,” she says as she hands me a copy of her resume, taking my hand in a firm shake.

  “Follow me,” I say, I’ll take you to the conference room and introduce you to Richard, he and I are the owners of the company.” On the way to the conference room, I stop at the copy machine and make a copy of Raven’s resume so both Richard and I have a copy to look over. I introduce her to Richard, handing him a copy of her resume, asking her to take a seat. “Would you like some water, coffee, or tea?”

  “Thank you, but no thanks,” she answers back.

  We concluded the interview with Raven, and I show her out. As she was walking through the door to leave, our second interview was walking in. “Hi I am Beckett and you are?”

  “Hi, I’m Stacey Jones.” She extends her hand to mine and shakes it, but it is what she did after that, that gave me a weird feeling. As she had my hand in hers to shake, she placed her other hand on my forearm and fondled it. Don’t get me wrong, she was beautiful, bright blonde hair, big blue eyes, and tall long legs, legs that could wrap around you long legs. She was wearing a low-cut top and a pair of legging that showed everything she had and a lot more. I quickly pulled my hand away and she reached into her bag, pulling out her resume and handing me a copy. I ask her to follow me as I stopped by the copier to make an additional copy. I take her back to the conference room and introduced her to Richard. She wasn’t quite so touchy-feely with him. She interviewed very well, and she had a lot of experience, but I didn’t feel comfortable with her. I walked her back to the front door and thanked her for coming in. Again, she reached over, rubbed my upper arm this time as if we knew each other, and she said goodbye with a little wink. Really? Walking back to the conference room, I sit and Richard and I discuss the now departed applicants. We both really liked Raven, she did not have a lot of experience, but since we didn’t either, it might work out well to have all of us learn together. She had an energetic personality and appears to be very positive. Stacey, on the other hand, I cringed when we started to talk about her. I hadn’t even said anything to Richard and he could read her like a book. I told him what she did and he chuckled, picked up her resume, wadded it into a ball, and tossed it at the garbage can making a two-point shot.

  “Well, Raven it is,” I said. “I’ll check her references and discuss her employment afterwards.

  “So,” Richard said, “shall we finish our discussion we started before the interview?”

  “Sure, what do you want to know?” I ask as if I didn’t know what he is talking about, “But first I am going to get a cupcake and a cup of coffee, you want some?”

  “You mean the ones that look like you pulled them out of the garbage?”

  “Yep, those would be the ones,”

  “Ok, as long as they didn’t come from the garbage, I’ll take one and a cup of coffee please.”

  “Well, they did kind of come from the garbage, but not the way you’re thinking, I’ll get you one anyway,” I say laughing.

  Entering Richard’s office, I collect the cupcakes from Richard’s desk and take them to the kitchen area. Removing two plates out of the cabinet and two mugs, I pour our coffee and place the cupcakes on the plate. Grabbing two napkins, I place the mugs and plates on a tray and carry it to the conference room.

  “Here you go,” I say as I set the tray on the table.

  Richard looks at me with a questioning eye as he picks up his cupcake pulling the paper from it. The malt ball was buried in the disheveled frosting, but you could still see the pixie dust glitter on the frosting. He breaks off a piece and places it in his mouth. A moan escapes his lips, and then his eyes shoot to mine. “Malt chocolate with a malt chocolate frosting,” he says.

  I knew what he was thinking, we had been together long enough to see it in his eyes. “The actual name according to the bakery is ‘Beckett’s Favorite Malt Chocolate Cupcakes,’” I say.

  “What the hell?” he said with a surprised tone.

  “Well, this is how my day went. After going to the gym and working my ass off, I thought I would give the new deli a try, the place was packed, by the time they called my number I had the chance to look at the display case. I first saw the lemon cupcakes that were decorated just as if she had always made them, but didn’t think anything about them, but as I continued to glance at the case I saw the chocolate malt, then I saw the name of them, that is when I knew. I ordered more than what they had in the bakery case; I wanted to see if she was the one that would bring them out. She was, when she came through the door she looked around, then her eyes found mine, all the blood drained from her face, I knew she was going down, so I jumped the counter and caught her before she hit the floor. When she came to, there were tears in her eyes, but then i
t was as if realization set in and her eyes turned dark and anger set in, she stood up, taking the container of cupcakes and dropping them in the garbage. It was at that time I realized what time it was so I dropped my cash down on the counter grabbed the sandwiches and cupcakes and ran out of the shop.”

  “You mean you didn’t talk to her after that? You just left?”

  “What was I supposed to do? I had fifteen minutes to get back here before we had the interview, I wasn’t going to flake on that,” I said. “And she was so mad.”

  “Listen Beckett, obviously there is still something there or she wouldn’t have named a cupcake after you, that is unless they tasted like shit, and this definitely doesn’t.” He sticks the rest of his cupcake into his mouth, then finishes talking around a mouthful of cupcake, “You need to go back there and talk to her; if she is anything like how you explained her to me then she will listen. But you have to give her a chance first.”

  “You really think that will work?” I ask, “I have only seen her that mad two or three times before.”

  “Just go, take the rest of the day off.”

  A smile broke across my face as I contemplated seeing her again. “Ok, not that I know what will happen, but I’ll sit there the rest of the day until she’ll talk to me. Thanks, Richard,” I say as I grab the tray taking it back to the kitchen, I wash the plates and mugs before I leave.

  Chapter Five

  I AM SO PREOCCUPIED I don’t even remember the walk to my car, I look at my watch, it’s a quarter to four. I wonder to myself what time she closes or what time she leaves, most bakeries start in the middle of the night. Maybe since she just opened, she is trying to work more hours to get things off the ground…well at least that’s what I’m hoping. I keep running scenarios through my head hoping she’ll still be there.

  I pull in front of the bakery, they close at four, I have five minutes. Getting out of my car, I stride quickly toward the door. I see the counter girl, Shannon, cleaning up. I pull the door open walking inside. I stroll to the counter. “May I get a cup of coffee please?”

  “For here or to go?”

  “For here please.” She looks up at that the clock on the wall behind me, then back at me before she turns to get my coffee. Returning with my coffee, I take it and sit at one of the tables. I decide that I’ll wait until she is ready to close and I won’t leave until I can explain, and if she isn’t here, I still won’t leave, I’ll make her come back here to relieve her employee. At least that is what my plans are, like a ‘sit-in’.

  As I sit there, my stomach drops, I hadn’t even thought of the possibilities that she could be with someone or even worse that she’s married. Shit, I don’t know what I would do. I have dreamed of this day for almost ten years. Suddenly the swinging door opens. My hearts starts pounding, my breathing quickens, my palms are sweating, my dick gets hard shit control yourself Beckett!

  “What are you doing here Beckett?” she says, standing beside the table tapping her foot on the ground. I slowly look up at her, trying not to crack a smile. I think of a stupid movie of a sexy teacher, ruler in one hand tapping her foot by a student’s desk. My dick gets harder. Shit! What the hell Beckett!

  “I’m having a cup of coffee, supporting the local businesses,” ooh, that’s a good one, that will push a button for sure. I answer back to her. Looking in her eyes that are now squinting at me and turning a stormy gray.

  Letting out a sarcastic breath she states, “Well, we’re closing in about one minute.”

  Tapping her foot even louder and the daydream comes back and again my dick is now presses tight against the seam of my jeans. Shit, really? Now I won’t be able to stand up without looking like an ass. “Ok, but I won’t be done,” I respond back to her.

  “I have to go cups, so you can take it with you,” she says as she turns on her heels walking over and grabbing a cup and lip from the counter.

  “It’s not the coffee I am talking about.” Harlow stops, looks back at me than to her employee that has been standing behind the counter watching us intently bantering back and forth.

  “What are you talking about then Beckett? I need to close up,” she states. Her voice getting brusque.

  “Then close up, but I’m not leaving until we talk.”

  Harlow walks over to the counter “Shannon, you can go ahead and leave, I’ll lock up.”

  “Are you going to be ok?” Shannon asks as she looks from me to Harlow.

  “Yes, I’ll be fine, thank you, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She follows Shannon to the door and locks the door behind her turning the closed sign over. Then walks back over to my table and sits opposite of me. I could see her body getting tense. This is going to be bad.

  “What do you want Beckett, that you didn’t have the common courtesy to tell me ten years ago, that you didn’t want to talk to me again, that you found someone closer to your new home, that what we had was nothing, meant nothing? That when I never heard from you again, how you broke me, that you ruined me for any other man and we hadn’t even touched each other, that I cried myself to sleep for months thinking I wasn’t good enough for you, was that it or did I leave something out?” She had tears in her eyes and I could see that she is trying hard not to let them fall. I wanted to hold her, comfort her, my heart hurt so badly for her, the pain and anguish in her voice was killing me. I know that feeling too I lived it for years.

  “Harlow girl.”

  “Don’t call me that damn it!” she said in a low almost growl filled with hate, “only the Beckett that I knew could call me that!” She pushed her chair back, stood, and turned her back to me. Her shoulders were shaking.

  “Ok, Harlow, but do you remember what I said to you at the swings that night?”

  Through her tears, she said, “A lot of things were said, but they were just empty words Beckett, promises you didn’t keep.”

  I slowly stood and walk up behind her as I spoke “I said ‘We may not be together, but we’ll never be through’ do you remember that?

  “Yes, of course, I remember that. That is why it was so hard for me when I never heard from you again. I need to leave Beckett, please, I have finally moved on, I’m in a good place in my life, I can’t go back,” she says as a voice betrays her, her crying is more evident.

  I reach for her, placing my hand on her shoulders. “Please Harlow, I know you are hurt, but from the looks of it, you aren’t over it,” I say in a low, quiet voice.

  She clears her throat, “just because I am emotional doesn’t mean anything.” She adjusted herself, taking another step away from me pulling my hands off her shoulders and crossing her arms over her chest, closing off her body language.

  “No, it doesn’t, but naming a cupcake after me does,” still keeping a quiet voice.

  She lowers her head and I notice her shoulder shaking again, I step toward her again, turning her and wrapping my arms around her as she cries into my chest.

  “I’m so sorry I hurt you, that was never anything I wanted to do. Please Harlow, please hear me out.” I don’t know how long I stood there holding her in my arms until her crying subsided, but she finally nodded her head to listen to my explanation. We returned to our chairs and I proceeded to tell her everything that had happened after the first move, the fight that we had at dinner that fateful evening, Phillip walking out, my mother throwing my phone and then the next day when everything in my room was gone. She looked at me with wide eyes, shock written all over her face. “I’m sorry Harlow gir…Harlow; I didn’t intentionally try to hurt you, but I was thirteen, what was I supposed to do and how? You were all I had, I hadn’t made friends at school, and I missed you so much. I thought about you every day! I still do. I tried several times to find you online, I tried to call your old number, but it was disconnected, I even hired a private investigator to look for you. That’s why I was down here today, I was so nervous, I had to work of some off my excess energy, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t work, you had totally infiltrated my mind, the thought of f
inally finding you. I stopped by here on accident, I was at the club around the corner, and I needed to pick up a couple sandwiches. I looked at the cupcakes, the lemon first, and then I saw the Chocolate malt, I then I glanced at the name…My God, I have missed you so badly Harlow.” I reached for her hands that were sitting on the table.

  Tears filled her eyes again. “I’ve missed you too Beckett. But things have changed; I thought you walked away from me, moved on.” Unconsciously I rub the medallion that is hanging from her bracelet.

  Looking deep into her eyes I ask, “Tell, me Harlow, tell me what I pushed you to, and then tell me how I can make it better, make it up to you and most importantly how I can get you back?”

  The tears flowed down her cheeks, as she looked down at the table. “I don’t know if that is possible Beckett.”

  I inhale sharply, “Why, are you…” this is the hardest question, I don’t know if I want hear the possible answer, because if she was married I wouldn’t get in the middle of it, I won’t break up a marriage, I would just walk away. “Are you married?” I am holding my breath, waiting for her answer.

  “No, I’m not married,” she said quietly

  “Are you…are you involved with someone?” I ask as I looked down at our fingers laced together, as if they held the answer to my question, my heart feels as if it had stopped in my chest and I was holding my breath again as I awaited the answer.

  “No, not anymore.”

  I sigh a deep breath, my heart started to beat again and I smiled. “Then why?” knowing that as long as she wasn’t with anyone everything would be fine.

  Looking up at me she says, “We’re not the same people that we used to be Beckett; there is ten years of hurt, anguish, pain, sorrow and loss that I am trying to deal with.”

  “Harlow, I know that it has been a long time, but you and I both know there is something between us. There always has been, there always will be, can’t you feel it now? Can’t we just talk and get to know each other again? As soon as I could, I tried to find you. I never stopped thinking of you; please don’t end this when it hasn’t even had a chance to get off the ground.”