Never Forgotten Love

by S. M. Stryker

  I drive Harlow back to the bakery and walk her to her car. “Thank you Beck for a wonderful night.”

  “When can I see you again?” I look at her with anticipation.

  “I don’t know Beckett,” she says timidly.

  “Then I’ll pick you up at six tomorrow night,” I say with a smile on my face.

  “Beckett!”

  “Harlow girl, I have waited ten years to see and talk to you again, I don’t want to waste any more time,” I proclaim as I stand in front of her looking deep into her eyes.

  “Ok, I’ll see you at six then,” Harlow whispers.

  I lean over placing a kiss on her cheek and wait while she slips into her car.

  Chapter Seven

  ON THE WAY HOME, I can’t stop smiling, I found her, and I am on cloud nine. I feel like I am alive again, I am ecstatic. I don’t even remember my drive home; all I can do is think about tonight and where to go tomorrow night.

  Next morning I walk into work in a daze, but with a smile on my face. Richard is there with a cup of coffee for me and a look of ‘what happened?’ We walk to his office and I fill him in on the night. I told him about the ex-boyfriend he suggests I call our friend Mitchell he’s in the security business.

  Once back in my office, I call and set up an appointment with Mitchell for later in the day. Richard and I met Mitchell in our Krav Maga classes. Mitchell was always quiet in class, but after my first class, he pulled me aside and to ask me where I received the bruises that I had on my face. As I did with Richard, I told him I ran into something. I don’t think he ever believed me, but he helped me with my training. Working with me daily to learn how to defend myself.

  Mitchell had been in the Marines and whenever he was home on leave, he was always in the gym. In the years that I have known him, he never talked about his time ‘in country’. He volunteered for his first three tours to Iraq and then to Afghanistan. When I had met him, he was stationed at Leatherneck in Afghanistan. I don’t know what he saw or what happened over there, but every time he came home, he was a different person. I heard some of the guys at the gym talking about his unit and that they were in a convoy that got hit and they had to fight their way out. Mitchell’s best friend Michaels had been hit, he was pretty bad, Mitchell picked him up and carried him to a safe location until the medevac could land and get Michaels out of there, but the rest of the unit had to wait twenty-six hours for the QRF unit. I hadn’t heard of that unit before so I asked what it stood for, they told me it stood for Quick Reaction Force. It wasn’t until they returned to the base that anyone recognized that Mitchell had been hit by shrapnel. No one noticed because they thought it was his buddy’s blood and his adrenaline was so strong he didn’t realize it either, the shrapnel had grazed his liver causing the pain which made it hard for him to breath, he hadn’t noticed because he thought he was winded from carrying his friend. He collapsed when he got out of the MRAP, Mine-Resistant Ambush Protected vehicle. That’s how he was discharged. When he came home, he started his security company and started working out at the gym again. Over the years I’d confided in him about my home life and the bullying I’d received the first couple years in high school, if it hadn’t been for Mitchell fast tracking me by working with me daily I wouldn’t be as proficient as I am. I talked Richard into going when I started while I was in high school.

  I also call Paul to see what he’s found out so I can give any information he’s uncovered to Mitchell this afternoon.

  Richard and I have a meeting about hiring our front desk person and agree that Raven was the best candidate. I place a call to her with our offer; she accepted it and will be starting on Monday.

  I decide to take Harlow to the Concert at the Zoo, it’s a nice July evening, and I have a basket packed for dinner. I pick her up at the bakery and drive up to the zoo. The music is good, but the company was better. “Thank you for coming out with me again tonight Harlow, I really enjoyed last night and in fact I couldn’t wait for the day to get over.”

  She smiles up at me. “I feel the same way, this is wonderful, and I can’t believe you had a basket made up for this. Thank you, Beck.”

  As we sit and listen to the music, I tell her a little more about my move to Oregon, my job, and Richard. Harlow told me about living with her aunt and thought that Richard and Nicole would get along and would be the perfect match. They have many interests in common.

  “Harlow, I talked to someone today, his name is Mitchell, he is a friend of Richard’s and mine, he is in the security business, and I have hired him to check up on Brad and his whereabouts. I also put him in touch with Paul, the Private Investigator I hired to find you. He had a little bit of information on Brad as well. They will be working together to make sure Brad stays where he’s at.”

  “Wow, you did that for me?”

  “I told you I would do any and everything in my power to keep you safe.”

  “Thank you, Beck, that means so much to me.” Harlow leaned over kissing lightly on the cheek. My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest. My breath hitched. It takes all my willpower not to grab her taking her in my arms and possess her mouth and body. I have dreamt of the day that we would be together, but I know I have to earn her trust, and I have no experience at this, I don’t know what I am doing, I feel like an overly hormonal teenager. It’s not that I didn’t want to have a relationship, I did, but I wanted it with Harlow. Why would I waste my time getting involved with someone when I know it would end up with someone getting hurt, not to mention the drama. I always knew Harlow and I were supposed to be together, we just fit, I am the key to her lock, she’s the puzzle piece that finishes the puzzle, she is my comfort, she is my everything. I know it’s all cliché, but it is how I feel.

  I drive Harlow back to the bakery to pick up her car. Standing outside her car door I ask in such a quiet voice it’s almost a whisper, “May I kiss you good night?” As I hold her hands in between our bodies, my heart is racing with anticipation. I lift her chin with my finger to look her in her beautiful blue eyes. I try to rein in my nerves before they get the better of me.

  “Beck, I want you so much it terrifies me,” she quietly confesses.

  “Tell me your fears Harlow girl.”

  “This, us, everything. You scare me.” Tilting my head to the side, I look at her confused. “I was so hurt when I didn’t hear from you, then you show up in my bakery and it’s as if we were never apart, but deep down I’m afraid of losing you again. I don’t think I could bare it again.”

  I take her hand moving it to my chest over my pounding heart, pressing it down for her to feel. Looking her in the eye, I ask, “Do you feel my heartbeat?” She nods her head, “you do this to me Harlow, and you always have. This is your heart, it belongs to you, and I gave it to you the first time you knocked on my front door. You accepted me for who I was, a sad little boy that no one loved, you Harlow girl looked past all of that. You’re all I have ever wanted. Love isn’t what hurts, it’s losing love that’s excruciating, love can’t exist without fear, if the thought of losing someone doesn’t scare the shit out of you, then it’s not love.”

  A tear rolls from Harlow’s eye. “You’ve already won me. Your best quality is your heart Beck. It was your heart I fell in love with.”

  I could barely breathe; my heart was pounding as I wrapped an arm around her waist pulling her into me. I thread my fingers into her hair pulling her lips to mine, the smell of her scent on her skin fills me with desire as I press my lips to her sumptuous warm mouth, kissing her gently, running my tongue across her bottom lip. My God, she tastes so good. I had always dreamed my first kiss would be like this, with my Harlow girl. She wrapped one of her hands around my neck and grasped tightly to a handful of my hair as a moan escaped her lips, she opened her mouth as our tongues teased and twirled together, savoring and thrusting in an exotic dance. Our gentle kiss turns more passionate as a deep guttural groan emanates from deep inside my chest vibrating both of us. I try pulling h
er closer, but there is no distance between us. She bites my bottom lip sending a current shooting through my entire body down to my dick. I let out a primal growl. She is making soft moans as we continue the crushing and bruising force of our kiss. I pulled away breathless. “God, I have no self-control when I am around you.”

  Harlow has her back against her car as she tries to rake in a breath. “Well, obviously you have been practicing how to kiss in the last ten years,” she jokes.

  “Actually, that was ten years of pent up need and desire. The dream I held onto all this time.”

  She looks at me, her eyes wide with surprise. “You’ve not ever kissed another girl?”

  “No, no other girl or woman. I told you, I have only wanted you, after knowing you, I wouldn’t settle for anything less than you Harlow girl, no other woman could come close to you. Do you have any idea what you do to me?”

  She shakes her head no.

  “You have infiltrated me completely, you make me feel alive Harlow, and I love that feeling. I have had my heart walled off for so long, and you have melted it so I can feel again.”

  “Oh God, Beck.” Harlow throws her arms around my neck kissing me as tears run down her face. “I can’t believe you waited for me. Thank you.”

  “I think between the two of us, we are going to have a lot of firsts together,” I say as I wipe her tears away. “Do you think your aunt would like to go out tomorrow night? I would love to meet her and I want you to meet Richard.”

  “Are you sure Richard will be able to go out tomorrow night?”

  “Richard only works, he never goes out. So yes, he will be able to make it.”

  “Well, I’ll talk to my aunt when I get home. She doesn’t go out either, so maybe we can make a love connection!” she smiles and raises her eyebrows.

  “Well, even if they don’t they will maybe become friends who I know Richard needs.” I slowly pull away from Harlow, I know if I don’t we will never leave and I know she has to get up early.

  “I better get going since I have to get up early.”

  “I really enjoyed tonight and I look forward to more firsts with you.” I lean and give her a gentle kiss on the lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I’ll give you a call with the time and place, unless you have a place you would like to go to.”

  Harlow slips into her car as I close the door. On the drive home, I call Richard telling him about our dinner plans and that I want him to meet Harlow. By the time I finish the call, I am at home.

  Next morning I get to the office with a bounce in my step. Everything I touch today turned to gold. I call Harlow to let her know where we are going for dinner and what time I’ll pick her and Nicole up. My golden day all ended at noon when I received a call from my mother. What I want to know is where the fuck did she got the office number and how she found me.

  Chapter Eight

  SITTING DOWN AT MY DESK, I rack my brain how my mother got my work number, especially since we just moved to this location. I hadn’t talked to my mother since I had graduated from high school, a little over five years ago, which was perfectly fine with me. She wasn’t someone that I ever wanted to talk to again.

  “Beckett, this is your mother. We need to talk,” she demanded. We never talked, she talked, and I was expected to listen and do what she said.

  “What do you need mother? And how did you get this number?”

  “You need to meet me so I can talk to you,” she declared.

  “No mother I don’t, if you want to talk to me, then now’s your time. I don’t have time for any of your drama.

  “How dare you talk to me like that! I am your mother, you show me respect!” she proclaimed.

  “Respect is earned mother, I’ll show you just as much respect as you ever showed me growing up.” I take a deep breath to try to keep my temper in check. Richard walks by as I was talking to her. He hand signals if he could come in. I motioned for him to come in and take a seat. Placing the call on speaker so he can hear what I have to endure and so he can calm me down after I hang up with her.

  “You are such a God damn child, always blaming me for your problems growing up. When are you going to grow up and accept responsibility for your own life?” I just about lose it with that statement. I close my eyes and take another deep breath.

  What do you want mother?” I say gruffly, I won’t allow myself to be brought to her level, but I won’t let her walk all over me either.”

  “You need to send me some money. It’s the least you can do,” she commands.

  “And why do I owe you money?” I questioned. I look up at Richard and shake my head.

  “Well for everything I bought you growing up of course,” she interjected.

  “Wow, that’s very interesting. How about we do this; I’ll add up the two pairs of pants, two t-shirts, one coat, one pair of shoes, six pairs of underwear and socks you bought me for the eleven years I was in school for, then I’ll subtract out my computer, phone, TV, and books of mine you got rid of. I believe you still owe me, but I’ll overlook it and call us even, how does that sound?”

  “You are such a spoiled rotten son, I can’t believe you would treat your own flesh and blood this way,” she sobs.

  “You know Cheryl, how about we do this, you can write me off, lose my number and don’t call me again and that way you don’t have to think about what a horrible son you have after you did such great job of raising me, and maybe you will get a mother of the year award!” With that, I hang up the phone. I am pinching the bridge of my nose to stem off the headache I am getting.

  Richard is sitting in a chair on the other side of my desk, his elbows on the desk his hands clasped together, and his index fingers steepled resting on his lips. He pulls them back and says, “I have to hand it to you Beckett, you handled that better than I probably would have. I am proud of you. It takes a big man not to sink to her level and blast her.

  I look up at him warily, “Not like it will make a bit of difference. I’m hoping she doesn’t call me again, but I’m not holding my breath.”

  “I’ll tell Raven on Monday to screen your calls to make sure she can’t get to you, and maybe if she continues I’ll have the calls routed to me. That might make my day because unlike you, I’m not a big man and she really has pissed me off for how she neglected and abused you over the years. I really have no idea how you turned out the way you did after being around her for seventeen years let alone one day,” Richard chuckles and raises his eyebrows in a fun gesture. “I don’t want this call to ruin your day. Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent! Think about Harlow and how she makes you feel.” Richard stands up and starts to walk to the door.

  “You’re right Richard; I don’t know why I let her affect me so much. I think deep down, I am still that little boy that is always looking for her approval and love, and I think for what it’s worth, I’m still afraid of her.”

  Richard turns and looks at me as he places his hand on the door frame. “You probably are, but as long as you stand up to her the way you did today, you will show her that you won’t back down anymore.”

  “Thanks, Richard! I don’t know what I would do without your help.” I stand and walk over to him to give me a hug.

  The rest of the day was non-eventful, I didn’t hear back from my mother after I hung up on her. After work, Richard and I drive to Nicole’s home to pick her and Harlow up. I thought it would be easier and more advantageous to get to know each other. After making the introductions, Richard moves to the back seat with Nicole so Harlow can sit in the front with me. I lean over kissing Harlow’s cheek as I help her into the Jeep.

  As I drive downtown Portland to the River Place, there is very little talking, I am hoping that everyone will relax a little once we get to the restaurant and can sit and learn about each other. The restaurant that I picked floats on the Willamette River, I thought it would be nice to watch the boat as we eat. They seat us immediately and next to a big window, that faces the water. I l
et Harlow sit next to it and Richard lets Nicole sit next to the window as well. We order a couple bottles of wine and appetizers to start. “How was your day Harlow?

  “It was good; I interviewed a new girl to help me with the baking so maybe I won’t always have to be there in the middle of the night.”

  “That will be nice for you so you don’t always have to be there. Was it a male or female and what did you think of them?”

  “She seems good, overly friendly, but I don’t want to just give my recipes to someone I don’t know, it makes me nervous.”

  “Why not have her sign a NDA?” Richard suggests.

  “Wow, I hadn’t even thought of an Non-Disclosure Agreement.”

  “We have a generic one that we use. It’s a great way not to lose your secrets. In our business, it’s mandatory, the last thing I want to do is lose some of our company secrets to another company,” Richard says.

  “I know I had to sign one before I started at the company I work for,” Nicole says.

  “I’m sure Beckett would get you a copy to read over,” Richard says.

  “Sure, I’ll get it to you by maybe this weekend,” I say, hoping that she will spend more time with me this weekend.”

  Our dinner comes and we seem to concentrate on our food more than our conversation, there is nothing better than fresh seafood. Nicole is warming up to us though, her humor is dry, but God, she makes me laugh. By the end of dinner, she is throwing jokes out right and left. If I hadn’t known that she drank just one glass of wine the whole night, I would have blamed it on that, but she did only drink one glass. Talk about breaking out of her shell. She has a great sense of humor and is quick witted.

  It seems that Richard and Nicole are hitting it off. They both have been laughing and giggling all night. After dinner, we decide to walk along the waterfront looking at some of the shops that lined River Place. It was a beautiful evening, just a light breeze danced across the river. We came across an ice cream shop and decided to get some; they are open for the late night crowd, by this time Richard and Nicole are holding hands. We sit at one of the bistro tables outside just talking and getting to know each other better.