Souls Apart (Book 1 in the Lost Souls Trilogy)

by Mochira Jackson

  “Nothing will ever come between us. We’ve been mates since we were toddlers!”

  I gave her a big hug and I sensed a weird feeling between us. It was as though it would be the last time we would be close. I pulled away slowly and noticed a strange expression on her face. It was as though she pitied me.

  “Are you ok?” I asked.

  “Yeah, sure. I guess I’m just a little worried that you’re still going to be seeing him. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

  “It’s ok, Ambs. He doesn’t scare me. I love him and he loves me so it’s all going to be all right, you’ll see.”

  We started walking towards the gym and for a split second I thought I saw Eddie; just standing there, leaning up against the wall. I’d not been sleeping very well lately and so I put it down to that. After an enjoyable session of cheerleading practice Amber and I went to lunch. I was surprised by what Amber said next. “So what was Eddie doing standing by the gym before?”

  I almost choked on the hamburger I’d just bitten into. “What?”

  “Didn’t you see him? He was acting all cool, leaning against the wall like he owned the place or something.” She took a sip of her cola.

  “Was that Eddie?”

  “So you saw him too then?”

  “I thought it looked like him but it couldn’t have been.”

  “Why not? Maybe he’s started stalking you. He hasn’t got a proper day job has he?”

  She was right. He worked from home so it could have been him; but why would he come to school? Was he spying on me? And why didn’t he call my name or wave or something? Maybe Amber was right. There was something not quite right about Eddie.

  -9-

  I loved Christmas. Mom had outdone herself this year. The real fir tree reached towards the ceiling and I loved smelling the branches, which she’d sprayed with fake snow. Each branch was decorated with a colorful piece of tinsel and a gold bauble and a garland of flashing fairy lights was wrapped around the tree; turning it into a glittering tower. Underneath were lots of presents wrapped in red, silver and gold shiny paper and she’d hung strips of colored crepe paper across the ceiling.

  As usual, she’d switched on the radio so we could listen to Christmas carols as we unwrapped our presents. She loved the jewellery I’d bought her from the attic sale and I was pleased to receive a new pair of knee-high leather boots. After opening our presents we got in the car so Mom could drive us to church. It was starting to snow and so Mom switched on the wipers. The windscreen was steaming up and as we pulled into the church parking lot I thought I saw Eddie again; just standing there, leaning up against the church wall, but when we both got out of the car he was gone. I thought he may have gone into the church but apart from a few regulars the church was practically empty. I enjoyed singing the carols but I always got a little sentimental when Mom and I lit a candle for Dad. “Merry Christmas, Dad” I’d say, before giving Mom some space to say a few personal things to him.

  I felt the snowflakes wet my face as I waited outside for Mom. I saw the figure again. I was so sure it was Eddie, yet his face was sombre and expressionless. He didn’t smile or wave or acknowledge me in any way. It was like a vision, somehow. Sometimes when people lose loved ones they think they see them in crowds and this was how I felt watching the figure. I started to worry that perhaps he’d died or something as I hadn’t seen him for two days. I’d bought him a Christmas present, a watch. I was going over later to give it to him but now I started to have a weird feeling inside me, like butterflies. Could this be the feeling of dread Amber had talked about?

  Mom came up behind me and made me jump half out of my skin. “Mom, you scared me!” I said half laughing.

  “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” she said pinching my cheeks. “You’re pale as anything. Come on we’d best get you home.”

  ***

  I was relieved to see his silhouette waiting for me at the top of the hill. He started to run down it when he saw me. He had a gift in his hands. “Here, this is for you,” he said. I took it and gave the watch to him. “Thanks,” he said, “I don’t usually get any presents.”

  I found that hard to believe. He was gorgeous, kind and romantic. Why was he so alone? We started to walk to his hut, where he said he’d arranged a surprise. “I hope you like your present,” he said. “I didn’t know what to get you.”

  I smiled. “I’m sure it will be perfect. Anyway it’s the thought that counts isn’t it?”

  We held hands as we made our way through the forest. It was so beautiful; the trees were covered in snow and I loved the way it made a squelching noise underneath my new boots.

  I was surprised to see that he’d decorated the hut with tinsel and balloons and he’d got hold of a battery operated radio which was playing carols. He opened a box and took out a plate of mince pies – my favourite- and a bottle of Baileys. After he’d poured two glasses he started to open his present. I swear I could see tears forming in his eyes when he saw it. He threw his arms around me and hugged me tightly. “Charlie, I love it, thank you.” He put it on his wrist and gazed at it. His eyes seemed to change shade to a lighter blue.

  “Open yours,” he said like an eager child.

  I peeled back the wrapper and saw something gold. I pulled it out of the remaining bit of paper and noticed it was some sort of notebook. It had a gold cover and inside the pages were different colors. “Thanks,” I said, wondering why he felt a journal was a good gift for someone like me.

  “You don’t like it do you?” he said, averting his eyes towards the floor.

  “I love it.”

  “I wish I could have bought you something expensive like the watch, but you know I don’t earn much m—”

  I placed my finger on his lips. “I love it. I don’t care how much money you earn. I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  As we kissed I started to wonder why I’d been so worried earlier about him being dead or worse still, being evil. When the kiss was over he reached for his glass and started to take some long sips. I took the opportunity to ask him about the strange visions. “Were you at church this morning?” I said, picking up my goblet.

  The expression on his face changed and I saw the color drain from his cheeks. His eyes seemed to darken again and for the first time, I noticed a lack of warmth or feeling behind them. “Why would I go to church? You know I don’t believe in all that stuff.”

  “You’ve never told me that before.”

  He started to sneer and then stood up; his huge gait looming down over me, just like the old mansion house loomed over the village. “I shouldn’t have to tell you everything. There are some things about me that you should just know.”

  I started to feel nervous. “Like what?”

  He began to pace back and to and it made me feel anxious. “I can’t believe you. You claim you know me but you don’t know me at all. Church is the last place I would go to. If there was such a thing as God then why did he let my parents die? Why was I left to fend for myself?”

  I’d never seen him so angry. “You weren’t left to fend for yourself, Eddie, you had your grandparents.”

  He shook his head and began to sneer even more. “For a while, yeah, but they were old. I’ve got nobody now, have I? Look at this.” He pointed to the walls of the hut. “This is me fending for myself, Charls. I lost faith in God and church a long time ago.”

  I was going to ask him why he celebrated Christmas but I expected he was just doing it for me. I took another sip of my drink and felt better as it warmed me inside; helping me to forget about the shivers running down my spine.

  “Shall we change the subject?” I asked, eager to get things back to normal. It was obviously not him at church this morning. Maybe he had a double?

  His dark blue eyes peered into mine and I felt like he could see inside my soul. “I don’t know what else I can do,’ he said, turning up the music on the radio; it was a piano version of Hark the herald angels sing. I tr
ied to let the music relax me but I had the horrible feeling he was going to end our relationship and I knew I couldn’t cope if he did.

  “You’re scaring me now, Eddie,” I said.

  He looked at me again; still without warmth or feeling. “I thought you would recognize me. I thought you got me.”

  “I do get you. What do you mean recognize you? Have we met before or something because I’m sure I’d have remembered you.”

  He came nearer to me and held out his hand. I took it and he pulled me off the bean bag and towards his chest. His hands moved around my waist and rested on my lower back as he gazed at me; this time with feeling; passionate feeling. “We have met before; a long time ago. I remember. I hoped you would too.”

  “I’m sorry, Eddie. I would never have forgotten you had we met before.”

  He smiled and started to push some of my curls from my face. “I’m going to tell you something now. You might not believe it but it’s true. But first…” He moved his head nearer to mine and started to kiss me; gently at first and then harder and deeper. He bit my lip and made me pull away. It started to bleed. His eyes were wild now and his hair was the most dishevelled I’d seen it. “We have met before, Charls. In fact, we’ve met several times over hundreds of years.”

  He placed his hands around my waist again. “We’ve been together so many times. You’re my soul mate. Don’t you get it? I’ve been searching for you for so long and all the time you were living around the corner.”

  “How do you know all this?”

  “I just do. We writers are very sensitive to these things.”

  “So you don’t believe in God but you believe in reincarnation?”

  “I know it, Charls. I remember all my past lives. I can teach you too if you’ll let me.”

  I loved him so much but he was starting to make me feel uncomfortable. “You don’t have to do that,” I said, “I believe you. I love you so much.”

  “We are always going to be together. For all eternity. Don’t you forget that.”

  The way he said it sounded like a threat, but I loved him and I wanted to be with him forever. It made me feel better about going to law school too, knowing that he’d be waiting for me when I got back. Amber was so wrong about him.

  “So, is everything ok between us now?” I asked feeling relieved.

  “Yeah; it’s not your fault you don’t remember our other lives. I will tell you about them some time.”

  “Tell me about the last time we were together.”

  “Well, we were married. You looked after the house; we had a nice house, by the way, much better than this hut, and I went out to work as a teacher.”

  “You were a teacher? What did you teach?”

  “English. Do you know that you take something from an old life into your new one with each incarnation?”

  “Really? So you took your writing?”

  “Yeah. And I think you must have taken your arguing skills.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We had quite a fiery relationship, you and I. You were quite a feisty one. That’s probably why you want to do law; so you can argue with the prosecutors all day long.”

  I laughed. “You’re so funny.”

  He glared at me again. “This isn’t meant to be funny. I’m being serious here. Our relationship is serious. It didn’t work out last time but I’m gonna make damn sure it does this time.”

  Wow. I knew he was serious but it was starting to annoy me a little that he rarely laughed or made jokes. “Why didn’t it work out?”

  “Because it’s you and me, that’s why.” He took another sip of his drink and went to turn off the radio.

  I didn’t know what he meant by that but I decided to change the subject. “I can’t believe it’s time for me to get going already. Time goes too fast when I’m with you.”

  He smiled. “It certainly does. But remember. We’ve got a whole eternity together.”

  He pulled me into his chest in a deep hug but already I was starting to feel a growing sense of uneasiness, which would only get worse over the next few months.

  -10-

  A lot has happened in the past few months; especially with Eddie. I still love him but he’s been so intense lately it’s been scaring me. It started off with small things like my appearance. He told me that my short blonde curls weren’t me and that in most of our lives I’d been a brunette. He practically begged me to dye it, saying that if I didn’t it was proof I didn’t believe we were soul mates, so I dyed it. I don’t like it and both Mom and Amber went crazy, saying I’d ruined my hair and once blondes dye their hair they can never get their natural blonde color back. They said it made me look pale and washed out and I had to agree, but Eddie loved it, so it stayed.

  I lost weight too, not on purpose; I guess it was the stress of trying to please Eddie. I didn’t want to lose him but he was becoming so hard to please. It turned out he loved my new figure and he kept pestering me to wear the gold dress. He said that it was fate I went to the attic sale and he knew I’d be there because in one life we used to live there together and I’d worn that same dress. I didn’t want to believe it. Surely if I’d lived in that old house with Eddie I’d only have good feelings about it, not horrible shivers. Mom barely speaks to me now. She says she’s worried about me and that ever since I’ve met Eddie I’ve changed too much and I no longer have my own opinions about anything. She’s so wrong. It’s just that I spend so much time with Eddie I sometimes go along with what he wants just for an easy life. I’m an easy-going person; she knows that. I hardly ever see Amber either. She’s got a new boyfriend too. He’s on the football team, which surprised me because those types usually prefer the leggy blonde cheerleader, not the tomboy Goth. We still sit together in school but she meets Curt most breaks and lunchtimes so I’ve been going into the library to revise. I spend so much time with Eddie that I barely have time to do it at home.

  Amber thinks I’m going crazy. I told her all about the past lives thing between Eddie and me but she didn’t believe a word. She uses tarot and claims she’s psychic but she thinks the whole thing is a lie Eddie is telling to get me to do what he wants. I can’t believe she would think that. I’m going to law school next year as long as I pass my exams. I think she’s just jealous. Good friends stick together no matter what but I think she just went out with Curt so she could spend less time with me. I think that Eddie is going to propose soon; I can just feel it. I don’t know where we’ll live and the wedding will have to wait until after I get my law degree but things are getting so serious that it would be weird if he didn’t.

  -11-

  I was right. Last night Eddie proposed. We were eating strawberries and drinking fizzy wine at the side of the lake. It was a beautiful spring evening and I loved watching the baby ducks trying to keep up with their moms. I always found it cute that all the little babies line up behind their mom as she swims and when she gets out of the pond. Their little waddles make me all warm inside. I felt so content, leaning my head on Eddie’s lap as he dropped strawberries into my mouth.

  “You are so beautiful, you know,” Eddie said running his hands through my hair.

  “Thanks, and you’re so handsome,” I said reaching up to grab his hand.

  “You know, in most of our past lives we were married.”

  I looked at him, my heart pounding wildly in my chest. “Really?”

  “I think we should do it in this life, don’t you?”

  “Is that a proposal?”

  He took out a small black box from inside the picnic container and handed it to me. “What do you think?’

  I opened it to see a small gold ring with a huge ruby in the centre, in the shape of a heart. “Eddie, it’s beautiful,” I said.

  “Is that a yes?”

  I placed it on my finger. It was a perfect fit. “Yes.”

  I reached my arms around his neck and we had a long, soft kiss. It felt strange having a ring on that finger. I glanced at it again and
a strange shivering sensation crept across my stomach and up towards my throat. I recognized the ring. An image flashed through my mind. I was lying face down on the ground. Soil was seeping out of my mouth and worms were crawling between my fingers. I saw the ring gleaming in the moonlight. I could feel a man’s foot in the small of my back, pressing me into the ground. “Die, you cheating whore!” I heard him say. I tried to turn over; to stop him and to look at him but then I felt something heavy hit the back of my head and everything went black.

  “Is everything ok?” Eddie asked.

  The next thing I remember was opening my eyes to see Eddie frantically dabbing my forehead with a wet piece of tissue. “Charlie, Oh thank god you’re ok. I was worried sick.”

  I tried to get up but my head hurt so much I collapsed back onto the floor. “What happened?”

  “You fainted. Must have been the shock of getting engaged, eh?”

  He lifted me up and I rested my aching head against his chest. I listened to his heartbeat and it made me feel safe. I remembered the vision. It had been so real. Was I starting to remember the past lives too? Had I worn that ring? What was going on? Maybe I was weak from the stress of school and all the tests I had coming up. I needed to rest. “Can you take me home please, Eddie. I’m so tired.”

  He started to pack away our picnic things and then lifted me to my feet. He let me rest on him as we walked past the ducks, past the old mansion house and to the bottom of the hill. “You take care and I’ll meet you here tomorrow,” he said.

  “Ok. The ring’s beautiful by the way. I can’t wait to marry you.”

  “Me too.”

  Mom was waiting for me at the door. “Oh Charls, I’m so glad you’re back. I’ve been having such terrible thoughts. I kept thinking something bad had happened to you. I can’t explain why.”

  “It’s ok, Mom, I fainted but I’m ok now.”

  “I don’t trust that boy. Do you think he put something in your food?”